The Bass Wore Scales

by Mark Schweizer

Liturgical Mystery (Book 5)

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The Bass Wore Scales (No. 5 in the series) Where does a 500 lb. "born-again" gorilla sleep? Anywhere he wants! For Detective Hayden Konig, things are going well. He enjoys his two jobs, he's independently wealthy, his girlfriend has agreed not to marry him, and no one has been killed in St. Germaine since Palm Sunday. In spite of all this success, Hayden has one more dream to realize-he longs to be a writer. As the organist and choir director of St. Barnabas Episcopal Church, he takes every show more opportunity to inflict his attempts at hard-boiled, musical detective stories on the choir, and, to boost his credibility, he's even purchased Raymond Chandler's actual typewriter. It doesn't help. Summers in North Carolina are usually peaceful, but when Kokomo, the world-famous signing gorilla, comes to town, suddenly there's a dead body in the church and all the evidence points to the great ape. Can Hayden figure out the mystery in time to save Kokomo? (Well...of course he can...) show less

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5 reviews
This is the fifth in the hilarious liturgical mystery series. It started off a little slow and I was wondering where in the world the author was taking us with a minister killed in his study with the door locked from the inside using a key that was forged and impossible to duplicate. He was ostensibly killed by a guerilla he had brought in there to be baptised.

“Now, if Brother Kilroy’s a Presbyterian or a Methodist, a Lutheran or an Episcopalian, there’s no problem. If Kokomo needs to get baptized, Brother Kilroy could do it with a squirt gun if he had to. But he’s not. He’s a Baptist, and you’re not born again unless you go under for the count. “You know, gorillas usually don’t have a problem with water like chimps do. show more Kilroy probably would have been fine if he hadn’t tried to hold him under.” “No kidding.”

Never fear, the solution is nicely rational. In the meantime, the racecar driver who was being sponsored by St Barnabas, has been killed after a race and will be buried in his race car with the radio tuned to his favorite country station (but only for five years - that’s all he paid for.) I loved the scene where Hayden talks to the sleezy burial plot retailer who misunderstands Hayden’s request for a special plot, “This here section—Section D—that’s for white folks only.” Meg was horrified. “White folks?” I said. “No, you misunderstand. I want a plot in the No-Smoking section.” “No-Smoking?” “Oh, yeah,” I said.

Or the scene where the PETA protesters mix it up with the NASCAR folks: They had angered the wrong folks. From my vantage point, I saw at least ten of the PETA protesters lying on the ground. The PETA women weren’t faring much better than the men, because, although a male NASCAR fan isn’t likely to hit a woman that he’s not married to, a female NASCAR fan has no such problem, and the ladies were taking advantage of easy pickin’s. The PETA women probably didn’t even realize that brass-knuckles came in designer colors.

The characters are all extremely likeable and there is such an undercurrent of puns and humor it’s difficult not to really enjoy the series. On to # 6.
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I always forget how funny this series is. Once again, the disastrous church service scene had me laughing until I had tears in my eyes, a stitch in my side, and a very puzzled golden retriever watching cautiously from a safe distance. The mystery's not bad, either.
½
Brother Kilroy, pastor of the New Fellowship Baptist Church, is found murdered in the bathroom attached to his locked study. The main suspect, found in the bathroom with him, is a 500 pound gorilla called Kokomo who has been taught American Sign Language. Can Hayden Konig find the real killer before Kokomo is put down as a dangerous animal?

The funniest part was the Pentecost service, but plenty of other humour in this book. Something to amuse everyone.
These books just keep getting better, and funnier! I don't find the humor in the side stories written in the [b:Raymond Chandler|2052|The Big Sleep|Raymond Chandler|http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41AGA624Z5L._SL75_.jpg|1222673] form but in the interactions of the people with their church. Who wouldn't find it funny when someone is killed in a racecar, and then buried it it??? Not to mention what else happens at that funeral. . . no spoilers here. Get started on this series from the beginning and you'll need to keep reading until the newest entry, I know I have!
A new priest comes to town, causing Hayden to reconsider being the church organist and choir leader. A "talking" gorilla is involved in a murder, and the NASCAR sponsorship gets reworked.

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Common Knowledge

People/Characters
Hayden Konig
Important places
St. Germaine, North Carolina, USA

Classifications

Genres
Fiction and Literature, Mystery
DDC/MDS
813.6Literature & rhetoricAmerican literature in EnglishAmerican fiction in English2000-
LCC
PS3619 .C483Language and LiteratureAmerican literature

Statistics

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90
Popularity
355,109
Reviews
5
Rating
(3.98)
Languages
English
Media
Paper, Ebook
ISBNs
1
ASINs
3