Such a Fun Age

Emira is a twenty-six-year-old black woman who's still not quite sure what she wants to do with her life. To make ends meet in the meantime, she has a part-time babysitting gig looking after a toddler she really loves. But the kid's mother, Alix, is... really something... and after an incident in which Emira is hassled by a security guard in an upscale grocery store, the dynamics between the two of them change, at least in Alix's mind, then change even further when they discover an unexpected connection between them.

This is one of those surprising novels that I liked a lot even while I can't necessarily say that I always enjoyed it a lot. Truth is, I spent a fair amount of it in a sort of full-body cringe, because that's just the kind show more of reaction that Alix brings out. That's no doubt fully intended for her, though, and I'm really quite impressed by the way she simultaneously feels like a complete stereotype of a certain kind of affluent white woman -- you sort of expect to see her giving a talk about Leaning In while sipping a pumpkin spice latte in expensive yoga pants -- while simultaneously being a psychologically complex human being whose insecurities and cluelessnesses and states of denial are as realistic-feeling as they are infuriating.

And the interaction between this messed-up but supposedly well-meaning person and poor Emira, who's just trying to live her damned life, results in a novel that's about race and class and power dynamics, in a way that arises very naturally out of who these people are and what kind of lives they lead, rather than the author standing up on a soapbox lecturing us about it. It ultimately works very well, and I'm very glad to have read it, no matter how much it kept making me cringe. I would say I'm also happy never to have to spend time with Alix again, except that of course then I remember that there are plenty of other Alixes out there. show less

Alix and Kelley are absolutely perfect portrayals of how privilege, ignorance, and casual systemic racism shape behavior, in two different ways. Reading Alix's meltdown and the final chapter is terrifying in a way because of how realistic it is. Makes me think of all the Alixs I've come across.

To be honest, this is more of a 3.5/5 than a 4/5 but there's no half star option and I went higher because the story was good even if the writing itself wasn't amazing.

This is an easy, modern novel that has some deep themes of racism and casteism. The juxtaposition of the page-turner feel of the book and the deeper dive into the racism of "nice people" actually worked pretty well for me.

Emira is a 25 year old Black woman who, like many others her age, is trying to find her way in the world. She's done with college, but doesn't have a chosen career path and ends ups babysitting for a wealthy white family. Alix, the mother, is going through her own crisis, trying to develop her career, having two small children, and recently leaving her beloved NYC for Philadelphia. The other main character is Kelley, a white man who begins dating Emira and who we later find out dated Alix in high school.

Right at the show more beginning, racism is highlighted when Emira takes her 3 year old babysitting charge to a fancy grocery store late at night (this is at Alix's behest for reasons I won't get in to). She gets accused by a white woman shopper of possibly kidnapping this white 3 year old child. It's caught on video by Kelley, who she doesn't yet know.

So this event is obvious racism, but more insidious is the underlying racism of Alix as she gets to know Emira. This was a hard look at how wealthy, white, "woke", women sometimes still harbor deep-seated racist attitudes without realizing it and even while thinking they are being "un-racist".

Also present is a look at female friendships. Alix has her group of 4 "best friends" as does Emira. The contrast and similarities between how these friend groups work was also interesting to me.

Overall, I think this is a good "book club discussion" book. It would appeal to a wide variety of readers because it is a page turner, is easy to read, and can be read on the surface, but there is also plenty to think about underneath the main plot line. I found it annoyingly modern at times, and a little unfocused, but I'd definitely recommend it for anyone who wants to keep up with talked about books.

Original publication date: 2020
Author’s nationality: American
Original language: English
Length: 310 pages
Rating: 3.5 stars
Format/where I acquired the book: kindle library
Why I read this: the buzz show less

Emira, a young black woman in the Philadelphia area, babysits for the Chamberlains, a well-off white family with an adorable toddler, Briar, whom Emira adores. One night, they ask her to come over and take Briar out of the house while the police arrive. While in a grocery store, she and Briar are stopped by a security guard who accuses Emira of kidnapping - and all this is captured on video.

The aftermath of the security guard's accusation is... not what I expected. Rather than an immediate blow up, Emira takes steps to make sure the video doesn't get out, and she wants to keep quiet about it. We get Alix Chamberlain's past and point of view, wanting to cozy up to Emira and make friends, as well as Emira's struggle to figure out what she show more wants to do with her life. At some point, I got frustrated with just about every character except poor Briar, and it was a sudden shock at one point to realize that only one or two characters, at most, were older than me (I wondered if that was some of the source of frustration). We see ways in which the white characters are well-meaning but totally blind to their own racism, and rewrite their own histories to make themselves look better. All this wrapped up in an easy narrative that kept pages turning fast. show less

At 25, Emira Tucker hasn’t quite figured out what she wants to do with her life, and makes ends meet by babysitting for the Chamberlain family three days a week. One evening, under some unusual circumstances, Emira finds herself the subject of threatening racist accusations about her relationship with 3-year-old Briar Chamberlain. A bystander, Kelley Copeland, captures the incident on video and sends it to Emira in case she wants to take action (she doesn’t).

A few days later Emira runs into Kelley, they have dinner, and their relationship quickly deepens. Meanwhile Alix Chamberlain, Briar’s mother, is mortified by how Emira was treated and takes it upon herself to become Emira’s friend, crossing all sorts of employer/employee show more boundaries. These characters provide a platform to explore issues of race and class through a story that is both complex and believable.

Debut author Kiley Reid masterfully portrays different types of “woke” white people who want so badly not to be racist, and don’t realize the myriad of tiny ways they mistreat or marginalize the black people they interact with. I found this book very thought-provoking, with much that could be unpacked in a discussion group. show less

Points out (among other things) that upper-class white lady culture is so normal that the parts featuring Emira & her friends seems like it was written as a travel piece for white tourists. Just look at these wild black women in their natural environment. It also shows that those same women have to switch from one set of behaviors to another when they’re around white people. Especially when it comes to work environments - the woman who works at Sony probably doesn’t feel a thing when she does it, but Emira switches during conversations with Alix and Alix notices. I suppose whites from unacceptable backgrounds have to do the same.

The whole idea of becoming ‘woke’ is a good one, but it creates weird awkwardness when self-aware show more whites interact with blacks. We have to think about and evaluate everything we do before we do it lest an innocent comment or action be interpreted as racist and insulting. Ingrained and habitualized behavior can quickly become socially taboo and the constant, real-time assessment can come off like the white person wants to distance herself from the situation. Stand-offish and awkward, but coming from a good place that is totally hidden unless the white person explains painfully that she’s monitoring her every moment of time with this black person. That she’s modifying her behavior specially for this encounter. What’s more insulting? It’s a minefield and looking for the mines before you step on them is also an exploding mine.

It’s aggravating that both Kelly & Alix want to save Emira. Immediately infantilizing her as if she can’t decide and take action herself. Reminds me of how women in general were treated and portrayed for centuries. Unfortunately some still are. show less

Here's a Black woman's take on a white woman's take on friendship with Black women, and it's a gem. Many white people see their Black friends as trophies, as proof of how woke they are. In this era, no one would ever say, "Some of my best friends...", but they would be thrilled to say, "My friend Tamika...", because why would any Black woman be friends with a racist? Nu uh, girlfriend! Alix, trending Philadelphia blogger and mother of two, hires Emira to babysit so she can write her book. Emira has been floundering since college graduation, and her three best friends seem to be adulting much better than she. Problem is that she is very attached to little Briar, a very engaging three year old. A combination of incidents, from an on-air show more ill-conceived, racially-charged comment by Alix's newscaster husband to Emira’s confrontation with a security guard in a Whole-Foods-type store, lead to a series of dumb missteps by Alix, who is compelled to win Emira's esteem in the stupidest possible ways. Emira just cannot get revved up until she realizes what Alix is up to. And then there's the Kelley Konnection – he’s the handsome white guy who is Emira's new boyfriend and was also Alex's, sixteen years ago when they were in high school.

Both of the main characters are aggravating in their own ways, Emira with her passivity and Alix with her lack of self-awareness, but together they constitute a wonderful read, filled with humor and astute analysis of white upper middle class entitlement.

Quotes: "Was it a completely inappropriate time to clarify, So you think I'm pretty?" show less