I'm Glad My Mom Died

Audiobook read by the author

6-year-old Jennette does not want to be an actress, but her mother does and she will do anything to make her mother happy. She continues to try to make her mother happy for the next 20 years. Her mother wants to keep piles of stuff in their house, and for Jennette to remain a little girl forever. She enrolls Jennette in a dozen acting classes and dance classes, and teaches her how to restrict the amount of calories she eats to stay small. Their codependency and the abuse continues throughout Jennette’s life and acting career, until her mother dies of cancer. But the trauma remains, and it takes Jennette a long time to come to terms with what she’s been through.

This is a really interestingly constructed show more memoir. Every short vignette is presented in the present -tense, with no hindsight at all. That's very different from what I'm used to, but it works well here where the sword of Damocles throughout is Jennette’s eventual realization of her mother's abuse. It also works well because McCurdy is still young, and will surely have more hindsight when she's older, but she's been through so much already and I imagine it was really cathartic to write it all down in such a straightforward way.

I am only a couple years older than McCurdy, but I didn't watch Nickelodeon and was only vaguely familiar with her work. As a society we often think of actors, especially celebrity actors, including child actors, as deserving of whatever odd and stressful life they have to live and whatever maltreatment or harassment that they get. It's fascinating to read the perspective of someone who very much did not want to be there, even if it took her a while to realize that. On the other hand, she adapted very well to that weird environment because it was so similar to the volatility of her home life.

This book is perfectly structured for the audiobook format, with dozens of short (5min) chapters. McCurdy is not a perfect narrator (she talks much faster than I’m used to) but there’s no one better to tell her story than her. I hope she gets to write a whole lot more, if that’s what she wants to do. show less

Acerbic humor makes this dark tale of celebrity very readable and captivating. Jennette McCurdy recounts the toxic relationship she had with her very unwell -- physically and mentally -- mother. It's like a "Mommy Dearest" tell-all, but the beatings are substituted with world-class passive-aggressiveness, an induced eating disorder, and a huge family secret.

It's harrowing stuff, and I hope the best for McCurdy in her recovery.

Beware, please, of the word heartbreaking in the marketing copy for this title; I found it closer to infuriating.

While my daughter was about the right age for me to have caught iCarly out of the corner of my eye semi-frequently, I wasn't necessarily the natural audience for this. However, it got good reviews, it was on sale, it was short, and so it took about two days of compulsive listening to get through.

As I mentioned in an early comment, I wasn't expecting an abuse memoir, but that is really what this is. I would go so far as to call it closer to [b:Educated|35133922|Educated|Tara Westover|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1506026635l/35133922._SY75_.jpg|53814228] than anything else I've read. As show more regards what I had feared reading about, while there are plenty of villains available, McCurdy doesn't reveal any sexual abuse by Dan Schneider to her, personally, though she does make it clear he was a gaslighting emotionally abusive monster.

Her mother, on the other hand, joins the pantheon of Hollywood villains, and McCurdy's clean prose only makes everything involving their relationship more painful. This book would literally be unbearable if we didn't know that Jeanette McCurdy survived to age 30, and appears to be improving her mental health.

I've been on the "ban child actors" train for a little while, now, and this book reinforces the case for that. If all of the above makes it sound as though I'm Glad My Mom Died isn't an enjoyable read, I apologize. As I mentioned, I finished it in about two days including time spent sitting in my car or even taking my phone into the house with it playing (which is not something I've done with non-DFW books before). It is compulsively listenable (read by the author herself) and highly recommended, but please be aware that if you are triggered particularly by eating disorders or parental abuse, this will be tough sledding. show less

I can’t even imagine how difficult it must have been to write this book. There are so many vulnerable, raw moments that she shares with the world, and reading them makes you feel the weight of her experiences. The honesty and bravery in telling her story are incredible.

One of the most powerful parts is how she portrays her mother, not just as a difficult parent, but as someone who was truly harmful and narcissistic. What’s striking is her perspective on how children experience this: kids rarely see their parents as the problem. Instead, they internalize the blame, thinking that whatever is wrong must be their fault. This book makes that painfully clear, showing how she struggled with feelings of inadequacy and self-blame for years, show more even though the real issue was her mother’s behavior.

Her background in acting and her work with Nickelodeon add another layer to her story. Growing up in the spotlight while dealing with a toxic home life shows just how complex her life was. You can see how her early experiences shaped her personality and coping mechanisms, making her story even more compelling.

The book also shows that healing is not linear. She isn’t “fixed” and even after years, her childhood and her relationship with her mother continue to have a lasting impact. That makes the story feel real and relatable, because trauma doesn’t just disappear, it shapes you, and learning to live with it is a process.

Her struggles with an eating disorder are also depicted openly, and while it’s heartbreaking to read, there’s a thread of hope throughout the story. Over time, she learns, grows, and finds ways to cope, showing that things can get better even if recovery is complicated and ongoing.

Final Thoughts:
I’m Glad My Mom Died is emotional, unflinchingly honest, and powerful. It’s a book about pain, trauma, and the difficult journey of healing, but also about resilience and hope. show less

I'd never heard of Jennette McCurdy nor seen any of her shows. I read this book because it was a book club pick. On balance, I found the book very disturbing, largely because I think it presents the author as being further along her healing journey than she is.

When writing about the abuse she suffered, Ms. McCurdy framed her mom as an angel, willing to make sacrifices for her daughter, rather than as the narcissistic abuser she was. Perhaps because children feel a strong need to be loved and protected by their parents? While this made me feel that the author was remaining willfully blind, the style also served to bring me into her reality as a child, for whom this kind of life was "normal".

I can't help but wonder if this book was the show more result of a therapist telling Ms. McCurdy to write about her life as a therapeutic device, which she then realized could be monetized? I definitely feel she was not ready to tell her story completely and honestly. However, what was lost from the author being unable to bring a deeper perspective to her life was made up for in the immediacy of her voice and understanding.

She has a long way to go. I wish her well.

On a related note, we need to call out and rein in parents who force children into acting. We need to sanction studios who keep child abusers around because of their money-generating potential, as well as punish the abusers themselves. Can we make good films and tv shows while not destroying the children involved? If not, we need to find alternatives....fast! show less

Ok, I caved in to the hype and listened to it mostly because I had a few days left on my Scribd membership which I failed to cancel last month (need to get some benefit out of it, shan't I?). I am usually very skeptical about overhyped books and this one appeared for me just like that. I had not heard anything of Jennette, iCarly or why this book was instantly sold out when it came out in the US. I live far away from it all.

But well.. I binged-listened to it in 3 days and now I feel I'll miss Jenette and her slightly ironic voice and how she matter-of-factly talks about very difficult topics. It's a brutally honest memoir of what the life of a child star really looked like. I am really glad her mom died and she could start to regain show more control over her life. I am also really happy that her book has become such a success because it deserves it and SHE deserves it. Even if she hates acting, her performance of the audiobook is top notch - one of the best I've listened to! The audiobook version is highly recommended.

Five stars without a doubt. show less

[This was originally posted to Audible's page - I've listened to the audiobook for this one]

I see lots of complaints about the author’s performance for this audiobook. Is it sterile and lacking in nuance? Sure, but I think it also kind of fits the book. Can’t imagine Jennette McCurdy was thrilled in doing this. Her detached voice matches the emotional detachment one has when confronting a life of trauma. Hearing her voice breaks when her dawing revelation happens at the end breaks my heart. The writing is stiff and somewhat direct; once again something I would expect from someone who spent their whole life shutting up their own emotions for the benefit of others. It’s a poignant read that has the potential to spark a lot of show more relevant debate at the familial and community level. Jennette is glad her mom is dead and so am I, but I’m also glad she wrote this book. show less