Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife: Pride and Prejudice Continues
by Linda Berdoll
Pride and Prejudice Continues (1)
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Every woman wants to be Elizabeth Bennet Darcy-beautiful, gracious, universally admired, strong, daring and outspoken-a thoroughly modern woman in crinolines. And every woman will fall madly in love with Mr. Darcy-tall, dark and handsome, a nobleman and a heartthrob whose virility is matched only by his utter devotion to his wife. Their passion is consuming and idyllic-essentially, they can't keep their hands off each other-through a sweeping tale of adventure and misadventure, human folly show more and numerous mysteries of parentage. Hold on to your bonnets! This sexy, epic, hilarious, poignant and romantic sequel to Pride and Prejudice goes far beyond Jane Austen. show lessTags
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Member Recommendations
digifish_books Read the ORIGINAL book again, rather than these truly woeful 'continuations'!
11
Member Reviews
Contains all the filthy details you wish the original book had! Berdoll maintains the language of the period, so never fear, your virgin ears will not be assaulted by trashy modern lingo. It's explicit, sorta, in a very erudite kind of way. Let's just say if your fifth grader picks it up they probably won't know what's going on. Frankly, I find the whole thing adorable. And quite naughty. Fanfiction at its best!
Rereading this was a pleasure. The author's salacious investigation of the sexual history of Ms. Austen's beloved characters is the backstory I want. It's also fun to imagine the life that continues on at Pemberly and the events of wartime and the marriages of other side characters.
Rereading this was a pleasure. The author's salacious investigation of the sexual history of Ms. Austen's beloved characters is the backstory I want. It's also fun to imagine the life that continues on at Pemberly and the events of wartime and the marriages of other side characters.
I am a huge Jane Austen fan, so much so that I read every bit of published fan fiction that I can get my hands on (often to disastrous results). Some are decent, but most are pretty awful. Of those, some truly fall beneath the heading 'atrocious.' Berdoll's The Bar Sinister is one such. She is one of the Austen-inspired writers who attempts to write in Jane Austen's style, by which I mean she pretty much refuses to use any words shorter than three syllables. She also likes to pretend that she knows foreign languages, especially Latin.
I have found that the best of the Austen-inspired works do not try too hard to capture her style of language and merely to do right by the characters. The reason that this is better is that these authors show more are modern; they are not from Jane Austen's time and her language does not come naturally. An author using words she does not know in an effort to sound classy and scholarly has the reverse effect. Words are misused and sentences fail to flow, as words have so obviously been substituted in for the originals after perusal of thesauri and dictionaries. I include here a sample of Berdoll's diction from the first page of the book:
"As each and every muddy mile they travelled diminished the distance betwixt Elisabeth and the awesome duty that awaited her as mistress of such a vast estate, she became ever more uneasy. It was not that she had only then fully comprehended what awaited her, for she had. At least as comprehensibly as was possible.
Hitherto, there had been the excitement of the wedding, and moreover, the anticipation of connubial pleasures with Mr. Darcy that buffered her from the daunting devoir that lay ahead."
These sentences are fairly mild as her language goes, but they get the idea across. Berdoll will never use the word between if she can say betwixt. She will also refer to the act of love making by every imaginable, old-timey term possible (and some that should not have been, such as many of her forays into Latin). I will finish complaining about the writing momentarily after an illustration that Berdoll does not know what words mean. On page 353 of my edition, Lizzy mouths I love you to Darcy and "he wordlessly said, 'I know.'" Wordlessly means that there should be know quotation marks, you dolt! Her writing makes the book, already one of the most absurd stories I have encountered, and makes the book possibly the worst I have ever read from cover to cover.
The story itself is truly atrocious. Lizzy and Darcy, when not having sex (a shockingly rare occurrence), encounter numerous personal difficulties: an insane footman who kidnaps Elisabeth and tries to rape her, a poor shot by Mr. Collins that nearly deafens Darcy permanently, a miscarriage and a stillbirth that nearly kills Elisabeth. And this is what happens to the characters Berdoll likes.
Berdoll hates Bingley. She must, because she has decided that he and Jane do not have a good marriage. Where Darcy and Lizzy are constantly soaked in various forms of connubial pleasure (which sometimes involve a mirror), Bingley does not manage to actually deflower Jane until after a few nights of marriage, during which he missed. There are no words. But, rake that he obviously is, Bingley manages not only to impregnate Jane (five or more times), but to also get a poor woman sick with tuberculosis pregnant with a bastard. Seriously. This happened.
Collins dies after getting chased into a pond by some bees. He lands upside down, gets stuck and drowns. For real real. Colonel Fitzwilliam falls in love with Elisabeth, which he feels guilty about. His guilt propels him to volunteer to go fight Napoleon (honestly referred to as Nappy within the 450 pages of dreck I read through). Georgiana, who is in love with him, follows him, enlisting as a nurse. He gets a little bit blown up, but survives, thanks to Georgiana's loving ministrations. When they finally return, brought back by an irate Darcy, they get married, because bum leg or not, Georgiana is preggers. Yup, shy wallflower Georgiana Darcy took charge and got herself a baby out of wedlock. I think not.
Wickham is found (supposedly posthumously) to be Darcy's brother (maybe), since Darcy's dad slept around (the sadness of which killed the former Mrs. Darcy). For this reason, Darcy donates money to Wickham and Lydia's litter of brats. Despite the fact that Wickham fathered a son on a serving girl at Pemberley when he and Darcy were young (they both slept with the girl, who later had a 'relationship' with the crazy footman mentioned earlier) and that Wickham (unknowingly but still) shot and killed this progeny while deserting the army in France. And even so, the book ends with the news that he is still alive. Great. I would not have finished this suck-fest, if not for the sheer joy of ripping it apart (figuratively, although literally is also tempting).
P.S. This book was republished as Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife, so avoid that too (or just stay away from this author in general).
P.P.S. Linda Berdoll, if Jane Austen were a vampire (as is the case in many books now), she would suck you dry with dispatch to prevent any further such disgrace being done to her characters. show less
I have found that the best of the Austen-inspired works do not try too hard to capture her style of language and merely to do right by the characters. The reason that this is better is that these authors show more are modern; they are not from Jane Austen's time and her language does not come naturally. An author using words she does not know in an effort to sound classy and scholarly has the reverse effect. Words are misused and sentences fail to flow, as words have so obviously been substituted in for the originals after perusal of thesauri and dictionaries. I include here a sample of Berdoll's diction from the first page of the book:
"As each and every muddy mile they travelled diminished the distance betwixt Elisabeth and the awesome duty that awaited her as mistress of such a vast estate, she became ever more uneasy. It was not that she had only then fully comprehended what awaited her, for she had. At least as comprehensibly as was possible.
Hitherto, there had been the excitement of the wedding, and moreover, the anticipation of connubial pleasures with Mr. Darcy that buffered her from the daunting devoir that lay ahead."
These sentences are fairly mild as her language goes, but they get the idea across. Berdoll will never use the word between if she can say betwixt. She will also refer to the act of love making by every imaginable, old-timey term possible (and some that should not have been, such as many of her forays into Latin). I will finish complaining about the writing momentarily after an illustration that Berdoll does not know what words mean. On page 353 of my edition, Lizzy mouths I love you to Darcy and "he wordlessly said, 'I know.'" Wordlessly means that there should be know quotation marks, you dolt! Her writing makes the book, already one of the most absurd stories I have encountered, and makes the book possibly the worst I have ever read from cover to cover.
The story itself is truly atrocious. Lizzy and Darcy, when not having sex (a shockingly rare occurrence), encounter numerous personal difficulties: an insane footman who kidnaps Elisabeth and tries to rape her, a poor shot by Mr. Collins that nearly deafens Darcy permanently, a miscarriage and a stillbirth that nearly kills Elisabeth. And this is what happens to the characters Berdoll likes.
Berdoll hates Bingley. She must, because she has decided that he and Jane do not have a good marriage. Where Darcy and Lizzy are constantly soaked in various forms of connubial pleasure (which sometimes involve a mirror), Bingley does not manage to actually deflower Jane until after a few nights of marriage, during which he missed. There are no words. But, rake that he obviously is, Bingley manages not only to impregnate Jane (five or more times), but to also get a poor woman sick with tuberculosis pregnant with a bastard. Seriously. This happened.
Collins dies after getting chased into a pond by some bees. He lands upside down, gets stuck and drowns. For real real. Colonel Fitzwilliam falls in love with Elisabeth, which he feels guilty about. His guilt propels him to volunteer to go fight Napoleon (honestly referred to as Nappy within the 450 pages of dreck I read through). Georgiana, who is in love with him, follows him, enlisting as a nurse. He gets a little bit blown up, but survives, thanks to Georgiana's loving ministrations. When they finally return, brought back by an irate Darcy, they get married, because bum leg or not, Georgiana is preggers. Yup, shy wallflower Georgiana Darcy took charge and got herself a baby out of wedlock. I think not.
Wickham is found (supposedly posthumously) to be Darcy's brother (maybe), since Darcy's dad slept around (the sadness of which killed the former Mrs. Darcy). For this reason, Darcy donates money to Wickham and Lydia's litter of brats. Despite the fact that Wickham fathered a son on a serving girl at Pemberley when he and Darcy were young (they both slept with the girl, who later had a 'relationship' with the crazy footman mentioned earlier) and that Wickham (unknowingly but still) shot and killed this progeny while deserting the army in France. And even so, the book ends with the news that he is still alive. Great. I would not have finished this suck-fest, if not for the sheer joy of ripping it apart (figuratively, although literally is also tempting).
P.S. This book was republished as Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife, so avoid that too (or just stay away from this author in general).
P.P.S. Linda Berdoll, if Jane Austen were a vampire (as is the case in many books now), she would suck you dry with dispatch to prevent any further such disgrace being done to her characters. show less
I had lots of fun reading this one.
The next thing I have to say is that if even the very idea of "Jane Austen" combined with "sex" makes you uncomfortable, stop reading right now, and go do something else to make you forget that you read the beginning of this sentence and the title of this book.
This novel is one person's idea about what happened to Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet after the last pages of [Pride and Prejudice]. The subtitle of this book is "Pride and Prejudice continues," which leads some people to refer to it as a sequel, which in my view is just nonsense. Others have called [Mr Darcy Takes a Wife] fanfiction, and although I can see that comparison, I don't see any evidence that it actually was. For one thing, it's much show more longer and also more structurally organized than any fanfic I've ever read. I looked at it as a soap opera version of what could have happened after P&P.
Okay, so this is no literary masterpiece. There isn't any nuance, symbolism, ah-ha moments . . . but there are some pretty entertaining bits and I had no guilt over skipping the boring parts. As I said, structurally it was okay, although on a sentence-by-sentence level it got kinda strange. At times it felt like the author wrote the story, and then went through with a 19th century thesaurus and replaced solid words with odd archaic ones. Many times I stopped and thought "that sentence actually doesn't make any sense." But I just moved on. Now, I think some of this language was tongue-in-cheek and was supposed to be fun, if not actually funny. Judging by the horrified reviews, the joke was lost on many readers. Well, many have attempted to imitate [[Jane Austen]] and as of yet no one has succeeded, so what can you expect?
As for the sex, yes, there are some steamy bits in the first half of the novel. Mr Darcy was hot and bothered through the entirety of [Pride and Prejudice], so this author lets him finally get his release. A few times. As erotica goes, it's pretty tame stuff. Despite that, many reviewers seem to have a Victorian ideal of Jane Austen, and are concerned about all the spinning in her grave she's up to since the publication of [Mr Darcy Takes a Wife]. Personally, I don't think Austen needs any 21st century readers to defend her honour. Reading all these 1 star reviews, I've learned that there are "Jane Austen purists" in the world, and from what they write, they seem like a dour, stuffy bunch who would be no fun at a party. Really, I've read some reviews that sound like they were written by Caroline Bingley. .
I also find it curious that some readers were "disappointed" by [Mr Darcy Takes a Wife]. Disappointment suggests that there were expectations of something--Jane Austen reincarnated, perhaps? Since I went into this book fully confident that it was terrible, I was quite delighted that it wasn't as bad as I'd expected.
Recommended for:: it's not serious, it's supposed to be fun. Good for P&P fans who want a beach read. show less
The next thing I have to say is that if even the very idea of "Jane Austen" combined with "sex" makes you uncomfortable, stop reading right now, and go do something else to make you forget that you read the beginning of this sentence and the title of this book.
This novel is one person's idea about what happened to Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet after the last pages of [Pride and Prejudice]. The subtitle of this book is "Pride and Prejudice continues," which leads some people to refer to it as a sequel, which in my view is just nonsense. Others have called [Mr Darcy Takes a Wife] fanfiction, and although I can see that comparison, I don't see any evidence that it actually was. For one thing, it's much show more longer and also more structurally organized than any fanfic I've ever read. I looked at it as a soap opera version of what could have happened after P&P.
Okay, so this is no literary masterpiece. There isn't any nuance, symbolism, ah-ha moments . . . but there are some pretty entertaining bits and I had no guilt over skipping the boring parts. As I said, structurally it was okay, although on a sentence-by-sentence level it got kinda strange. At times it felt like the author wrote the story, and then went through with a 19th century thesaurus and replaced solid words with odd archaic ones. Many times I stopped and thought "that sentence actually doesn't make any sense." But I just moved on. Now, I think some of this language was tongue-in-cheek and was supposed to be fun, if not actually funny. Judging by the horrified reviews, the joke was lost on many readers. Well, many have attempted to imitate [[Jane Austen]] and as of yet no one has succeeded, so what can you expect?
As for the sex, yes, there are some steamy bits in the first half of the novel. Mr Darcy was hot and bothered through the entirety of [Pride and Prejudice], so this author lets him finally get his release. A few times. As erotica goes, it's pretty tame stuff. Despite that, many reviewers seem to have a Victorian ideal of Jane Austen, and are concerned about all the spinning in her grave she's up to since the publication of [Mr Darcy Takes a Wife]. Personally, I don't think Austen needs any 21st century readers to defend her honour. Reading all these 1 star reviews, I've learned that there are "Jane Austen purists" in the world, and from what they write, they seem like a dour, stuffy bunch who would be no fun at a party. Really, I've read some reviews that sound like they were written by Caroline Bingley. .
I also find it curious that some readers were "disappointed" by [Mr Darcy Takes a Wife]. Disappointment suggests that there were expectations of something--Jane Austen reincarnated, perhaps? Since I went into this book fully confident that it was terrible, I was quite delighted that it wasn't as bad as I'd expected.
Recommended for:: it's not serious, it's supposed to be fun. Good for P&P fans who want a beach read. show less
First, this is not Jane Austen. This will never be Jane Austen, as Jane Austen is dead. Purists shouldn’t be reading Austen FanFiction to begin with. And I think to enjoy it for what it was, you have to be able to look at it as a book written by someone who is not trying to be Jane Austen. Because, in all honesty, Jane Austen would not have written so much about sex.
If you can skip over or don’t mind the plethora of sex scenes, I found the background and future of Mr. & Mrs. Darcy intriguing, entertaining, and satisfying. While the first few chapters felt somewhat stilted as Berdoll attempted to copy Austen’s writing style, but gradually she warmed up it her own style. Once you get past the first couple of chapters where Darcy and show more Elizabeth are just mostly having sex, the plot really picks up. I think she did a great job of illustrating Elizabeth & Darcy’s life in the first six or seven years of their marriage, and the continued development of the characters, and introduction of new faces, was well done. show less
If you can skip over or don’t mind the plethora of sex scenes, I found the background and future of Mr. & Mrs. Darcy intriguing, entertaining, and satisfying. While the first few chapters felt somewhat stilted as Berdoll attempted to copy Austen’s writing style, but gradually she warmed up it her own style. Once you get past the first couple of chapters where Darcy and show more Elizabeth are just mostly having sex, the plot really picks up. I think she did a great job of illustrating Elizabeth & Darcy’s life in the first six or seven years of their marriage, and the continued development of the characters, and introduction of new faces, was well done. show less
I am a Jane Austen addict. Pride and Prejudice is my favorite book ever. And I cheerfully buy any and all sequels to it, knowing without a doubt that there's no way on the planet that they will live up to the original. But I can't help myself. I may not read them in a timely manner, as proved by this particular book which I bought years ago, never read, and only rediscovered languishing on my shelves when it was re-released a couple of years ago under a different title (which I also promptly bought and had to return) but I buy them nevertheless. After reading this, I am a little sorry about my blanket Austen sequel reading policy.
An unattributed blurb on the back tells readers to "Hang on to your bonnets, this isn't Jane Austen. Reader show more discretion advised." Truer words were never spoken (and I'm a veteran romance reader so graphic desciptions don't bother me but this book is completely over the top. Opening with Darcy and Elisabeth [sic] jolting down the road towards Pemberley following their wedding night, we find the new Mrs. Darcy ignoring the pillow Mr. Darcy has so kindly offered her to give her lower bits respite from their aching. And this is just the beginning. We are treated to scene after scene of our newlyweds thinking lewd thoughts about each other or engaged in vigorous romping throughout the entire estate. Somehow the plot seems tangential to all the steamy (adn quite frankly fairly laughable) sex. We are told of Darcy's discreet exploits when he was younger and see further into his character as he snubs a neighbor who legitimized his bastard son as his heir. We meet Elisabeth's sisters again and get to encounter the still slimy Wickham as he makes a pass at Elisabeth. In addition we are treated to bad guys (why didn't Austen write about a kidnapping?) and another illegitimate child about whom speculation is rife. Elisabeth has trouble getting pregnant despite the constant sex. And Darcy continues to learn that his pride is misplaced as he discovers things about his own family that disappoint him.
With as much going on in this novel as there is, the chaos and the sex aren't the things that bothered me the most. Instead it was the stilted and unintentionally hilarious writing. I know that Berdoll was trying to mimic Austen's writing but it would probably have been better to just claim her own voice instead of producing this awkwardness. In addition to this, the book was incredibly poorly edited, with sentences trailing off into nothingness or making absolutely zero sense, even after several re-readings. The characters were as static as possible, perhaps in a nod to trying to stay true to Austen's original depiction, but since so much else of the story was as Austen would never have imagined it, why bother to try and keep them slotted into their familiar molds when circumstances should have dictated growth? And even at that, some of the characters are more true to the BBC production than to the original book. I really can be forgiving of a well-done sequel, after all; who hasn't wanted to know what happened after the happily ever after wedding in P&P but this is not that sequel. Really, it's fairly egregious. show less
An unattributed blurb on the back tells readers to "Hang on to your bonnets, this isn't Jane Austen. Reader show more discretion advised." Truer words were never spoken (and I'm a veteran romance reader so graphic desciptions don't bother me but this book is completely over the top. Opening with Darcy and Elisabeth [sic] jolting down the road towards Pemberley following their wedding night, we find the new Mrs. Darcy ignoring the pillow Mr. Darcy has so kindly offered her to give her lower bits respite from their aching. And this is just the beginning. We are treated to scene after scene of our newlyweds thinking lewd thoughts about each other or engaged in vigorous romping throughout the entire estate. Somehow the plot seems tangential to all the steamy (adn quite frankly fairly laughable) sex. We are told of Darcy's discreet exploits when he was younger and see further into his character as he snubs a neighbor who legitimized his bastard son as his heir. We meet Elisabeth's sisters again and get to encounter the still slimy Wickham as he makes a pass at Elisabeth. In addition we are treated to bad guys (why didn't Austen write about a kidnapping?) and another illegitimate child about whom speculation is rife. Elisabeth has trouble getting pregnant despite the constant sex. And Darcy continues to learn that his pride is misplaced as he discovers things about his own family that disappoint him.
With as much going on in this novel as there is, the chaos and the sex aren't the things that bothered me the most. Instead it was the stilted and unintentionally hilarious writing. I know that Berdoll was trying to mimic Austen's writing but it would probably have been better to just claim her own voice instead of producing this awkwardness. In addition to this, the book was incredibly poorly edited, with sentences trailing off into nothingness or making absolutely zero sense, even after several re-readings. The characters were as static as possible, perhaps in a nod to trying to stay true to Austen's original depiction, but since so much else of the story was as Austen would never have imagined it, why bother to try and keep them slotted into their familiar molds when circumstances should have dictated growth? And even at that, some of the characters are more true to the BBC production than to the original book. I really can be forgiving of a well-done sequel, after all; who hasn't wanted to know what happened after the happily ever after wedding in P&P but this is not that sequel. Really, it's fairly egregious. show less
This book really surprised me back when I first read it. I guess a good analogy for it would be when you used to wonder where the bathrooms are on The Enterprise, the showers and tubs. It all seems pretty sterile, right? We don't really envision Darcy and Elizabeth in bed, because there were so many rules about how to act in proper society. I don't really feel guilty about it, but I quite like these folks being free with each other in private and once dressed, out and about with their duties, back they go to conventional behavior. There is substance to the novel and there are family issues, loneliness and other elements where their relationship is tried.
I'm honestly ashamed that I skimmed the rest of the book after the first awful chapters. The writing is bad, first of all, as though the author did not even attempt to understand Jane Austen's time, characters, or writing style. In addition, the degradation of the characters of Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam Darcy is repugnant. Of course, it's a work of fanfiction, but it does not do justice to Miss Austen's beloved works, as some do, and, in my opinion, violates them completely.
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Common Knowledge
- Canonical title
- Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife: Pride and Prejudice Continues
- Original title
- The Bar Sinister
- Original publication date
- 1999-10-15
- People/Characters
- Elizabeth Bennet; Fitzwilliam Darcy
- Important places
- Pemberley, England, UK
- Dedication
- For Phil
- First words
- As plush a coach as it was, recent rains tried even its heavy srings. Hence the road to Derbyshire was betimes a bit jarring. Mr. Darcy, with all gentlemanly solicitousness, offered the new Mrs. Darcy a pillow upon which to... (show all) sit to cushion the ride.
- Last words
- (Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)He spurred his horse past a plumed hat resting upon a sabre driven into the ground. Picking it up on the run, he pressed it upon his head then tapped it down. A small amusement crossed his mind and forced the corners of his mouth into an unseemly smile. He rode on.
- Disambiguation notice
- Self-published in 1999 as The Bar Sinister
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- (3.31)
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