Pardon My French: Unleash Your Inner Gaul

A very funny little book on peculiar French expressions used in everyday life, witty, well-written and full of anecdotes. I hope nobody will object at my copying down below two short exhilarating excerpts. IF YOU OBJECT, DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW FURTHER. I must add that when I made a remark to my butcher about the first example below—actually he says 'Et avec ça?', which is just a slight variation—and told him the anecdote with the English, he understood the oddness of his leitmotif; but, now, he's lost and doesn't know what else to say. I think he takes me for a fool.

Et avec ceci? This is the cry of bakers, greengrocers and butchers or any stallholder in a French market. You ask for your baguette, or a dozen spicy sausages called show more merguez, or a kilo of potatoes and the seller, once he has handed you your order, nicely wrapped up, will enquire, 'Et avec ceci?' The question literally means And with this...? (...) Those unfamiliar with the question have been known to misunderstand it entirely, notably one local English resident who was asked it each time he went to the butcher's. He thought he was being asked 'Et avec saucisses?', and assumed that the butcher was enquiring whether he also wanted some sausages. His reply of 'Non merci, je n'en veux pas' must have been perplexing to the poor chap.

Impossible There is an expression used to demonstrate how resolute and wonderful the French believe themselves to be: 'Impossible n'est pas français!' — impossible isn't the French way. (...) However, it seems that only French people are allowed to use it of themselves. I discovered this when faced with a recalcitrant civil servant who was telling me that giving me a resident's permit on the strength of the papers I had presented was impossible. Thinking that the expression would provide a splendid and unarguable answer to the woman's objection, I said, 'Mais, je croyais qu'impossible n'était pas français' — but I thought that impossible wasn't the French way. Instead of being stunned by my erudition and agreeing that I was absolutely right and there was no need to fill in any more forms, the woman turned red in the face and shouted, 'Vous vous foutez de moi?' — Are you taking the piss? — and threatened to throw my file on the floor. (...) show less

Really, though, one-and-a-half stars.

Really, though, one-and-a-half stars.