Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

This book is a product of it's time. That's not an excuse, but a disclaimer. Chelsea has always rubbed me the wrong way- she gets a kick out of being controversial and shocking, and this book no different.

This was such a hard listen for me. I know for a fact if I had been reading it, I would have put it down by the second use of 'Indian' in place of Native American (and it's still racist, given she uses it as 'wailed like a' and 'these women were behaving like wild Indians'). I know I wouldn't have been able to stomach it at all if I was watching her read it, because something about her face bugs me. It's just obvious how desperate for attention she is, which is probably why she likes being controversial. However, on audio, she kept me show more hooked in the worst way. She is obviously a talented comedian, funny and attention-grabbing. I found myself wanting to continue listening, and yet, she offended in every chapter. Truly bizarre.

As I was listening, I felt like she used every slur possible as it related to her stories, except the n-word. Until the last chapter when she said 'n***er lips'. I think she thought it was ok to use these words, because they were usually in the context of someone else saying it to her, often her father. F*ggot, r*tard, the n-word are all said, some multiple times, by "other people". Meanwhile, Chelsea herself has no issues using Indian, midget, using rape for mundane situations, and being generally racist and fatphobic. Repeatedly. I didn't find any of these funny, but there were a lot of anecdotes where Chelsea's talent is obvious. She doesn't have to be wildly offensive, she chooses to be.

I find myself wanting to check out her other books, but she really doesn't deserve a second more of my time. show less

Ah, I had high hopes for this book. I mean, for crying out loud, it has VODKA in the title! When I first heard about it, I thought I'd need to go hunt down a copy, but then life intervened. So - how many years later? Six? I finally decided to just do it - just get this book and read it.

Little did I know I'd actually have to be DRINKING vodka to appreciate this book.

Unfortunately, I read this book stone cold sober.

First of all, I barely know who Chelsea Handler is. I mean, that's crazy, right? I watched the Chelsea show with Donna Prepon which I actually LIKED, believe it or not. And, for all of it's low ratings, it was actually funnier than this book. Well, a colonoscopy would be funnier than this book. Who on earth calls their father show more "bitch tits"? I know that humor should always be edgy but should it be this disturbing?

Is it just me? I must admit the more I read of this book the more I thought - it's me. I'M the one who's not funny. I'M the one taking everyone and everything too seriously, right? Right? I mean I'm not even laughing. Oh, vodka, where are you when I need you? I think I read this drinking a diet soda. Wrong, so wrong. Like when Chelsea realizes she can have a pleasant time with her dad in Costa Rica only after she buys reefer from the hotel gardener, I realized too late that this book might be a father figure but I couldn't find the local man watering the azaleas.

So, Chelsea, our relationship ends here. I know you won't care (after all, I'm not a little person) and if anyone asks what went wrong, I'll have to tell them the truth - I think I prefer tequila. show less

She is not anyone that I would want to be or for my kids to look up to, but I so want to be her friend. She is naughty and funny, wild and mouthy. I can't wait to pick up her next book. she is just out there. DO NOT read if you are prim and proper and think that every lady should be. Only read if you can laugh at the horrible thing that you did or said the last time you REALLY got drunk. Chelsea....CALL ME!!!!!!!

Yeah, I read this book. What?

And I thought it was funny. Irreverently funny. Oh-my-stars-I-can't-believe-you-are-actually-saying-that funny.

Chelsea Handler and I couldn't be more different, which may be why I so enjoyed her ridiculous true-ish stories. Especially the one about bringing a re-gift to the birthday party of a slightly-sociopathic compulsive liar she hardly knows.

Now I need to go read some Russians to start redeeming my elitist reading rep.

[Disclaimer: Parts of this review are copied directly from my review of "My Horizontal Life" by the same author]

I'm a big fan of Chelsea Handler. She's sarcastic, opinionated, brash, unapologetic and downright crude, but her comedic timing is impeccable, and no one, not even herself, is above mockery. Handler has an absolutely caustic wit, and she is a pretty decent writer, too, when you consider that her books are nothing more than humourous fluff.

Are you There Vodka is a collection of tales from Handler's crazy life. I was laughing out loud by the second page, as Handler explained that she gained third-grade popularity by telling her schoolmates that she was negotiating a part in Private Benjamin II, the sequel. I found Handler's show more send-up of her father especially funny. He sounds like a classic conservative-and-embarrassing-but-immensely-lovable parent.

Like many humour books, Vodka's stories become less funny in the middle, but finish up strong.

I read Handler's books in reverse order - her recent "Are You There Vodka, it's Me Chelsea?" first. I found Vodka the funnier of the two, maybe becuase it has a broader focus than Horizontal.

I'd recommend this book to anyone who enjoys borderline crass girl humour - fans of Jen Lancaster and Laurie Notaro may enjoy Handler's work. Both Vodka and Horizontal are great books for long travel.

P.S. Handler has a great entertainment-biz focussed talk show late late on weeknights on E. Well worth catching if your Unread pile isn't too scary. Handler's wardrobe is fantastic, and the "round table" is a fierce, crass celebrity roast. show less

When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power - vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world - a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense.

God, I hated this book. Yet, I kept reading until the end and I don't know why. I didn't laugh once.
More specifically, I hated the version of herself that Handler presents. It reminds me of a teenager who is desperately trying to be cool (I'm so funny because I'm rude to my Dad! Drink driving is so cool and fun! I am such a drunk because I had two martinis and carry vodka around in a flask! Eww, redheads are gross!) It's obviously an exaggeration of her personality, because I doubt she would have any friends left if this was the only side of her, and this just made the book seem insincere to me.