Man's Search for Himself

May begins by identifying the common threads of modern men who possess attitudes of passivity, apathy, and boredom. These “hollow men” who are strangers to themselves, feel largely insignificant, harbor resentment towards the monotonous treadmills of life, fear abandon and isolation, suffer from directionless and despondency, and have little to look forward to. At the core is a loneliness and a floating, ubiquitous anxiety whose sources appear nebulous. But with psychological acumen, May attempts to shed light on these sources. An individual may be bereft of adequate stability, the progeny of worried parents, or the victim of cruel life events. But often individual difficulties are symptomatic of epidemics at large. May points out show more that we are in a transition age. In the twilight of religion, we inherit our values from long anonymous men while the vitality of their traditions is lost to us. The products of an industrial age, we lead vacuous lives of routine, while competitive rewards are few and far between and emptiness springs from powerlessness in a world at scale. And while the latter-day influence of science and reason is both momentous and pervasive, in expelling such “absurdities” as witchcraft, we also expelled our connection with imagination, wonder, and mystery, throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Still more discomforting is our tendency to combat such problems with maladaptive strategies: buttressing ourselves with authoritarian institutions that cater to our desires to be led by the absolutes of “authority and miracle” but only perpetuate our problem of dependence; averting inner confrontation with campaigns of busyness, self-pity, or intellectualization; and suspending our attentions from illuminating revelations to concerns of immediacy. We are raised to control our “uncivilized” emotions, to suppress our unconscious desires as bestial and barbaric, and to puritanically compartmentalize our now taboo sexual lives. In our Cartesian dichotomy of mind and body, we are understandably detached from our feelings. But under Freudian influence we realize the ego is less in control than we’d like to admit and possess occasional contempt for a consciousness regarded as weak but demanding with its many thou-shalt’s and thou-shalt-not’s.

While this does paint a bleak diagnosis, it does not imply a bleak prognosis. Anxiety implies conflict, and conflict (which in this age is often between Self and Society, or between different internalizations) can be harmonized. At present, our task is to learn how to live vibrantly, to learn how to embrace the “pregnant moment” by living each one with freedom, honesty, and responsibility. The starting place is self-awareness. In genuinely understanding and honoring our inward motives, we achieve a greater integrity of self, which is needed to move from dependence towards integration and freedom. Consciousness can help be our guide here, tapping into the deeper wisdoms of the self and the past. Learning how to attune to the unconscious is equally important. Inevitably, a leap is required. As we attempt to develop a deeper intimacy with ourselves, replacing dependency with individual values and choices is required, but naturally comes with doubt, imperfect acuity, and sometimes regret. Meeting anxiety with courage is the “will to live”.

If it is any consolation, an unsettled world is a world in which man will certainly be forced to confront himself. Loss of innocence can be seen as the birth of spiritual man (see Adam and Prometheus) as opposed to a bitter end, loneliness or illness can be opportunities to cultivate inner resources and centers of strength (which we may have neglected to develop), anxiety can be perceived as a signal of conflict calling one’s attention rather than a burden to bear, and fear of moving ahead into the unknown can be grounds for wonder, friendship, and love. In this era, the Socratic decree to “know thyself” becomes the most difficult task of all, but also the most important. This creative (and daily) process of transcendence demonstrates, to quote Miller, the “indestructible will of man to achieve his humanity”. show less

I forced myself through this up until this point, because it was a recommendation. The whole thing is shallow and inane, he makes some very silly unfalsifiable claims, but when he does say something falsifiable he doesn't seem to think there's any value in actually finding out whether it's true (so just like Eric Fromm, who he quotes repeatedly). But when he got to the point of saying homosexuality is a "confusion" and gave a case where he said it was caused by bad parenting I just flung it across the room. I wouldn't even curse a second hand book shop with this crap. And don't tell me he's a child of his time, there were plenty of contemporary dissenting voices, including Carl Rogers.

Utter crap that I can't believe people are still show more falling for in 2019. show less

A good companion for a couple of days, as I'm living the struggle of "what do I like/want to do in life" it made me feel at least that it's not so strange not to know the answer as we seldom experience and assert ourselves.

One: Our Predicament
1. Loneliness and Anxiety of Modern Man
2. Roots of Malady
Two: Rediscovering Selfhood
3. Becoming a Person
4. Struggle to Be
Three: Goals of Integration
5. Freedom and inner strength
6. Creative Conscience
7. Courage and Virtue of Maturity
8. Man, Transcender of Time

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