Rollo May (1909–1994)

Non si puo' dire di un libro di studio che sia bello, o brutto. Questo è' lieve ed educato, ma fermo. Istruisce sul senso del counseling, con abbordi sulla religiosita' che non pensavo appartenessero alla disciplina - o meglio, all'Uomo inteso come normalita'. Chiarifica, illustra, incuriosisce. Diciamo che è per cultori della materia, o per chi potrebbe diventarlo.
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Riletto per interesse 'professionale', stavolta sottolineato, lascia tuttavia un poco di stucco per come parla della show more religione e della sua importanza per lo sviluppo di una psiche ben orientata. Dire che il counselor migliore e' la persona devota fa un po' sorridere. Lettura utile, a parte gli ultimi due capitoli dove scatta la predica. show less

This is another of those "classics" that have long been on my list of things-to-read. A few months ago, it fell into my hands and declared its time had come. Maybe it's because it's only been around for 39 years, or maybe it's because I'm a woman of a certain age, but I found May's insights as timely today as they were when the book was written. Perhaps May's words in his Foreword best describe the theme: "I have long believed that love and will are interdependent and belong together. Both show more are conjunctive processes of being—a reaching out to influence others, molding, forming, creating the consciousness of the other. But this is only possible, in an inner sense, if one opens oneself at the same time to the influence of the other. And will without love becomes manipulation—of which the age just preceding the First World War is replete with examples. Love without will in our own day becomes sentimental and experimental." I didn't find one superfluous word in May's 300+ pages. Possibly because his ideas complemented so well the reading I'd been doing on the Law of Attraction, the notion that we attract people and things and circumstances into our lives with our thoughts, emotions, and yearnings. I'm in love with this book! show less

May begins by identifying the common threads of modern men who possess attitudes of passivity, apathy, and boredom. These “hollow men” who are strangers to themselves, feel largely insignificant, harbor resentment towards the monotonous treadmills of life, fear abandon and isolation, suffer from directionless and despondency, and have little to look forward to. At the core is a loneliness and a floating, ubiquitous anxiety whose sources appear nebulous. But with psychological acumen, May show more attempts to shed light on these sources. An individual may be bereft of adequate stability, the progeny of worried parents, or the victim of cruel life events. But often individual difficulties are symptomatic of epidemics at large. May points out that we are in a transition age. In the twilight of religion, we inherit our values from long anonymous men while the vitality of their traditions is lost to us. The products of an industrial age, we lead vacuous lives of routine, while competitive rewards are few and far between and emptiness springs from powerlessness in a world at scale. And while the latter-day influence of science and reason is both momentous and pervasive, in expelling such “absurdities” as witchcraft, we also expelled our connection with imagination, wonder, and mystery, throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Still more discomforting is our tendency to combat such problems with maladaptive strategies: buttressing ourselves with authoritarian institutions that cater to our desires to be led by the absolutes of “authority and miracle” but only perpetuate our problem of dependence; averting inner confrontation with campaigns of busyness, self-pity, or intellectualization; and suspending our attentions from illuminating revelations to concerns of immediacy. We are raised to control our “uncivilized” emotions, to suppress our unconscious desires as bestial and barbaric, and to puritanically compartmentalize our now taboo sexual lives. In our Cartesian dichotomy of mind and body, we are understandably detached from our feelings. But under Freudian influence we realize the ego is less in control than we’d like to admit and possess occasional contempt for a consciousness regarded as weak but demanding with its many thou-shalt’s and thou-shalt-not’s.

While this does paint a bleak diagnosis, it does not imply a bleak prognosis. Anxiety implies conflict, and conflict (which in this age is often between Self and Society, or between different internalizations) can be harmonized. At present, our task is to learn how to live vibrantly, to learn how to embrace the “pregnant moment” by living each one with freedom, honesty, and responsibility. The starting place is self-awareness. In genuinely understanding and honoring our inward motives, we achieve a greater integrity of self, which is needed to move from dependence towards integration and freedom. Consciousness can help be our guide here, tapping into the deeper wisdoms of the self and the past. Learning how to attune to the unconscious is equally important. Inevitably, a leap is required. As we attempt to develop a deeper intimacy with ourselves, replacing dependency with individual values and choices is required, but naturally comes with doubt, imperfect acuity, and sometimes regret. Meeting anxiety with courage is the “will to live”.

If it is any consolation, an unsettled world is a world in which man will certainly be forced to confront himself. Loss of innocence can be seen as the birth of spiritual man (see Adam and Prometheus) as opposed to a bitter end, loneliness or illness can be opportunities to cultivate inner resources and centers of strength (which we may have neglected to develop), anxiety can be perceived as a signal of conflict calling one’s attention rather than a burden to bear, and fear of moving ahead into the unknown can be grounds for wonder, friendship, and love. In this era, the Socratic decree to “know thyself” becomes the most difficult task of all, but also the most important. This creative (and daily) process of transcendence demonstrates, to quote Miller, the “indestructible will of man to achieve his humanity”. show less

“Yeni bir şeyler yapmaya çağırılıyoruz, ayak basılmamış bir toprakla yüzleşmeye, kimsenin gidip de bize yol göstermek için dönmediği bir ormana dalmaya çağırılıyoruz. Bu, varoluşçuların hiçliğin kaygısı dedikleri şey. Geleceğe doğru yaşamak bilinmeyene sıçramak demektir; bu da, halihazırda emsali olmayan ve pek az kişinin kavradığı dereceden bir cesareti gerektirir.” s.44

“Immanuel Kant’ın üzerinde durduğu gibi, sadece biz dünyayı bilmekle show more kalmayız, dünya da aynı zamanda kendini bizim bilme yollarımıza uydurur.” s.140 show less