Wife in the North

This book was nothing like I thought it would be. I was expecting a light-hearted memoir, but instead got a moving, poignant tale of motherhood.

This author has a writing style unlike anything I've read before, and it took me awhile to get used to the cadence and tone of her writing. I struggled with it at first. But once I got attuned to her style, it became a much easier read.

Yes, there are moments of hilarity. But there are also many more moments of despair, love, sadness, fear, happiness, belonging. As a mother of 3 boys very near in ages to the author's children, I could completely relate to the author's feelings of frustration, hopelessness, tiredness and yet deep, unending love for her children. The shock near the end was show more heart-wrenching (despite the fact that it had been hinted at, and I was half-expecting it), and I had real tears falling as I read it. I was quite moved.

The descriptions of the northern English countryside and way of life were also very entertaining. I love British books, but so often they are set in London, and so I had never really read about this part of the country. It was a refreshing change.

If you are looking for a fluffy, light read, this is not it. But this book is so definitely worth reading - especially if you are a mother - do give it a try. :) show less

A blog in book form, chronicling the adventures of a woman who agrees to an experiment her husband proposes, leaving London for the northern English countryside. O'Reilly comes across as a personable woman, a loving mother and wife, a good friend. None of the other characters came alive for me, though--perhaps because none of them had names. I understand protecting anonymity in a memoir; that's what pseudonyms are for. I had no mental image of "the four-year-old," no way to distinguish "the Patient Mother" from "the London Diva," and so on.

Reilly is a talented blogger. If you're looking for sometimes funny, often thought-provoking mini-essays from a fish-out-of-water in the north of England, this is an enjoyable read. If you're hoping show more for a story arc, character development and growth, a plot that's stitched together in a meaningful way--this isn't it. For better or for worse, this is real life, blogged as it happened, then printed out almost verbatim, and bound. show less

This book is Judith O'Reilly's account of her family's move from London to the Northumberland countryside. A devoted city girl, O'Reilly is married to a Northumberland man who dreamed of going back, so she decideded to grant his wish; she agreed to move to the north for two years. But for O'Reilly life in the north is hardly a dream. She misses her London life, lacks close friends in her new home, and finds that everything, from her neighbors's dress to local pastimes is a world apart from what she knew in London. Culture-shocked, O'Reilly begins writing a blog about her experiences. This book is comprised of the blog entries. I'd never read a book comprised of blog entries before, but I found that the format worked surprisingly well. show more It's more like jumping into the middle of someone else's life than just about any other could be. I very much enjoyed reading this. O'Reilly is humorous, and she's willing to bare her soul on her blog. Her story is interesting, and I couldn't wait to get to the end to see what they would decide to do at the end of two years (she won't tell you until the epilogue!) In the interest of full disclosure I should mention that I, too, have recently move from a more urban and populated area to one very different, so I had a great deal of sympathy for O'Reilly's plight. Ultimately, this book combines some of the best features of the memoir and the travel narrative, as O'Reilly clearly approaches Northumberland as an outsider, and it's interesting to see how she interprets her experience through the lens of place. The book offers an intimate picture of a family and a marriage, and shows the ways in which people define home. When I got to the epilogue the final decision was what I had anticipated, and it's interesting that O'Reilly's words illustrate the direction the family is headed, even if she could not see so at the time she was writing the blog. Overall, a very enjoyable read. show less

The subtitle of this book is three young children, two aging parents, and one absentee husband 350 miles from home, but it should end with ‘one very funny woman’.

As I started reading this book, I got out my little sticky tabs because there were so many funny, sarcastic sometimes but very funny, comments. After a while the edge of my book looked like it had been sprinkled with a heavy dose of confetti.

The honest feelings, sometimes bordering on blatant, that Ms. O’Reilly uses to describe her life as it unfolds during her transplant from London to Northumberland can resonate with many women. Every time you think she has run out of expressions or comparisons up pops another one. Her definition of a “health visitor” and then soon show more to follow the description of her body in a surfing wet suit had me practically rolling on the floor.

However, the book has a touching side to it as well. There were times when I wanted to pick up the phone and call her husband and tell him that he would later regret it if he did not go home and help his wife with their children during such a trying time and for Gosh sakes, at least pump the petrol. For someone who wanted to have his family raised in such a rural location, he was spending way too much time in London.

But when I came to the August 4, 2007 entry, and she described what the loss of child meant for her new friend, The Yorkshire Mother, I was very surprised that she was able to see it so clearly. I lost my only son and I have only found a kinship in that pain with other women that have lost a child. No matter what anyone says, it is loss very different from the loss of a parent, spouse, or sibling. And so it is.

I recommend this book to anyone who needs to appreciate their present station in life, anyone who wants to laugh their way through a book for a change, and to let them know that the best part is once you finish the book, you can continue the story by visiting her blog, www.wifeinthenorth.com. I have waited until I finished the book to make my first visit, so I would not read any spoilers. :>) show less

I should start by confessing that after reading several "blog-to-books", I've decided I don't care for the genre overall. Anecdotes that I might find funny, quirky and insightful in a day-to-day or weekly format don't seem to translate well into books. I find they often come off as too self-absorbed (how could they not?), too whiny and just plain trying too hard to pull a story out of an everyday, non-linear life. What works in small doses becomes hard to swallow in a tome.

After reading about a third of Wife in the North, I'd resigned myself to the same experience with this book. It seemed like it was going to be a combination of two themes: first, "long suffering wife gives up high power, glamorous career to raise children while show more husband keeps his career"; and second, "city girl unwillingly uproots herself to the country and through her own determination and fortitude, learns to appreciate the charms of its bumpkin people and character".

Of course, the book does cover that ground, as the author, her husband and three children move from London to the far northern English countryside of Northumberland. Having lived in England for two years, I concur that the two places are worlds apart culturally. O'Reilly's chronicles of her angst and foibles trying to craft a new life for herself and her family in a rural setting are funny without being condescending toward her new neighbors and village folk.

What really surprised me about the book, however, and why I gave it four stars, was O'Reilly's ability to capture the emotional highs and extreme lows of motherhood, and the fierce, unrelenting love of a mother for her children. As we learn more about her, she reveals a depth that I didn't expect based on the beginning of the book. Her writing is sumptuous -- in turns hilarious and heart-wrenching, and very, very accurate when it comes to describing the complexity of everyday life and the precarious balancing act required to keep self, marriage and children intact when much of the time, one or another (or all) are teetering on the brink.

O'Reilly has a talent for bringing forth emotion in small moments through descriptive passages, such as the one recounting her relationship with the view of the lighthouse from her bedroom window and another when she notices the birdsong heralding the onset of spring. I cried a face full of tears at the end over an unexpected revelation (I won't hint, so as not to create a spoiler). After that, I understood her story and felt like I'd bonded with her at last.

Gorgeous book. show less

I wanted to like this book, I really did. The subject matter is right up my alley with themes like isolation and travel and obscure places, but the bottom line is it just didn't really resonate with me. I never bonded with the author and I often found myself baffled by much of the motivation behind the experiences.

One of the biggest themes and the cause of a great deal of my confusion and frustration with this memoir was how it came to be that the author, who pined for London, ended up getting stranded in Northumberland. Her husband who was the driving force behind the move, however, spent most of his time in London on business. This particular point not only boggled my mind, but also made her complaints and struggles feel trite and show more almost unnecessary. By the fourth time she ran out of gas (because she was incapable of checking the gauge while her husband was in town), I wanted to throw the book out the window. Her dealings with her children and especially their adjustments to the move offered some redemption, but overall the book left me underwhelmed.

This memoir has its funny and poignant moments, but much of it felt hollow. Interesting read, but not my idea of an engrossing tale. show less

You have to love the British. The open shameless pessimism. Aaah, it just resonates with me. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. O'Reilly's tone was real and engaging, but she didn't try to make her suffering obviously humorous. Being a mom to two small children, in a part of the country where I have no family and never thought I would live, I'm sure influenced my enjoyment of this book. Is it a spoiler to say that I was rooting for her to choose differently at the end? I actually did have to stop myself from sneaking a peek at the back of the book to see what the decision was - stay or go? So in that respect, it also had an element of suspense to it as well.

I would recommend it to any mom, grandma, friend of a mom, and I know what I will show more be giving my mom friends as gifts this year! show less