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How to Win Friends & Influence People (1936)

by Dale Carnegie

Other authors: See the other authors section.

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12,405163448 (3.94)83
Carnegie's classic bestseller--an inspirational personal-development guide that shows how to achieve lifelong success--is now in a newly packaged edition, the first hardcover release of this classic since 1981.
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Showing 1-5 of 152 (next | show all)
Looking forward to applying this in my life ( )
  spiritedstardust | Dec 29, 2022 |
Part One: fundamental techniques in handling people

-An animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior.

-When dealing with people, remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion motivated by pride and vanity.

Principal # 1 don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

People have a desire to be important.

The author does not recommend flattery as it is disingenuous.

Principal #2: Give honest and sincere appreciation

-The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other persons point of view and see things from that person to angle as well as from your own.

Principal # 3: arrows in the other person an eager want

Part two: six ways to make people like you

-You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

-if we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people, things that require time, energy, and selfishness and thoughtfulness.

A good way to find out someone’s birthday is to ask the other party whether he or she believes the day of one’s birth has anything to do with character or disposition?

Principal #1: become genuinely interested in other people.

People who smile sell more

Principal #2: Smile

Do all you can to remember peoples names.

Principal #3: remember that a persons name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

Listening is not mere silence but an activity.

People desperately have the need to feel important

Most people are focused on what they will say next that they do not keep their ears open.

Principal #4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Principal #5: Talking in terms of other peoples interests.

-Always make the other person feel important.

-The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.

use the term, “I’m sorry to trouble you” when it comes to correcting.

Use the term “ would you be so kind to”

The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you may feel themselves superior to you in someway, and they sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize the importance and recognize it sincerely.

A third example is given that shares an experience of being truly interested in the other person rewarded that person with unexpected gifts such as a car.

Principal #6: make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.

part three: how to win people to your way of thinking.

In regards to arguing, the author explains that there is no winner after an argument. He uses a quote from Benjamin Franklin “ if you argue in wrinkle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponents good will.

Page 120 explain steps of how to address an argument

Principal #1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Principal #2: show respect for the other persons opinions. Never say you’re wrong.

When making a mistake, it is best to immediately acknowledge your mistake versus defending your mistakes.

Principal #3: if you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

Principal #4: Begin in a friendly way.

The more guesses a customer says the more likely we are to succeed in capturing the attention for our ultimate proposal

When a customer has an objection, I agree with them of the objection and re-introduce the subject as it pertains to them.
Ie. yes, I understand you have no residence who may be ready for hospice and it can be quite difficult to identify when one is ready however, suppose a resident is bedbound and without care.

Ie. Yes, I understand putting your Social Security number may seem intrusive for this background check however suppose your live scan gets rejected and your license would not be processed.

Principal #5: get the other person saying yes, yes immediately

When collecting an activity or asking someone to change, acknowledge their point of you and complement it sincerely and figure out a way to have them change their actions on their own.

Before asking anyone to buy your product, pause and close your eyes and try to sync the whole thing through from the other persons point of view.

Principal #8: Try honestly you see things from the other persons point of view.

Principal #9: Be sympathetic with the other persons ideas and desires

People often have two reasons why they do things. One that sounds good and then a real one.

Principal #10: appeal to the nobler motives

Principal #11: dramatize your ideas

Principal #12: throw down a challenge

Part four: be a leader. How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment.

Principal #1: begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Principal #2: call attention to people‘s mistakes indirectly

Principal #3: talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Instead of giving a direct order you might consider giving suggestions. Instead of saying do this or do that you could say you might consider this or do you think that would work?

Principal #4: ask questions instead of giving direct orders

Principal #5: Let the other person save face.

When praising, make it as specific as possible.

Principal #6: praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be heart in your approbation and lavish in your praise.

If you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.

Principal #7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up too.

Principal #8: Use encouragement make the fault seem easy to correct.

Principal #9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. ( )
1 vote kvan1993 | Nov 24, 2022 |
Everyone still hates me.

Even though this book was written in the 1930's, it still applies today! I find myself laughing at many things. When he mentions the big stars of the day, I never heard of any of them. I got the kindle edition of the book. This book has good tips on parenting, and selling, and how to get along with people we might not like. Dale gives examples all through the book, and it's very helpful. It's a great way to understand the point he's making. It's easier to remember it, too! Thank you, Dale, for sharing your wisdom with us! ( )
  Azmir_Fakir | Oct 31, 2022 |
influence people ( )
  SanniyaAhmed | Sep 13, 2022 |
student work ( )
  Nadia678 | Sep 11, 2022 |
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» Add other authors (35 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Carnegie, Daleprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Carnegie, DorothyEditorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Grasman, GerardTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Pell, Arthur R.Contributorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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This book is dedicated to a man who doesn't need to read it - My cherished friend Homer Croy
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Introduction by Lowell Thomas - a short-cut to distinction. On a cold, winter night last January two thousand five hundred men and women thronged into the grand ballroom of the Hotel Pennsylvania in New York. Every available seat was filled by half past seven.

Introduction by Dale Carnegie - How this book was written - and why.  ... Why, then, have I had the temerity to write another book? And, after I have written it, why should you bother to read it?
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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Relocated from 'first words' Common Knowledge entry -"How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1937 in an edition of only five thousand copies." Which appears to be from the preface written by Dorothy Carnegie (Mrs. Dale Carnegie) to the 'revised' addition.

Following copied from Simon & Schuster (original publishers) web page on 10 May 2015 "Since its release in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 15 million copies."
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Carnegie's classic bestseller--an inspirational personal-development guide that shows how to achieve lifelong success--is now in a newly packaged edition, the first hardcover release of this classic since 1981.

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Book description
Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're wrong."
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
Appeal to the nobler motives.
Dramatize your ideas.
Throw down a challenge.
Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the other person save face.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
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