Life's That Way: A Memoir

4.5 stars

Jim Beaver is an actor. Some might know him from Deadwood; I know him from Supernatural. This is a memoir, but it's not about his career. It's much more personal. In 2003, his 2-year old daughter, Maddie, was diagnosed with autism. Two months later, his wife, Cecily, was diagnosed with cancer. Two days after Cecily's diagnosis, Jim sat down to write an email to friends and family to tell them what was going on. He emailed those friends and family daily after that. This book compiles a good portion of those emails.

It's amazing how much Jim was able to pour his heart out in those daily emails. The ups and downs of Cecily's fight with cancer, taking care of Maddie, the medical bills, dealing with everything... Told through these show more emails that were sent while it happened, means the story is told before they knew what the outcome would be, so it really is day-to-day struggles and hopes, and so much more. I think that also makes this memoir unique.

There's so much to fighting it that, if you haven't gone through it, or aren't close to someone who has... there's just so much I didn't know. I feel like I can't do the book justice with my review. This would be a tough one to read if you've gone through this yourself or with someone you love. I am close to tears, just writing the review. But Jim's love for his wife and family shine through the tears. show less

Intensely personal stories often illuminate universal truths. Jim writes: “I’ve attempted to flood the path with light where I could, and where I could not I’ve wanted at least to hold up a candle so that others coming this way might not stumble too painfully.” And indeed he has.

“I will bear this grief. I will endure it. I will reach a point where it doesn’t kick me down an abyss whenever I turn my back on it.”

As someone who still deals with the abyss of grief on a daily basis, I found this beautiful book wrenching and yet somehow hopeful as Jim Beaver weaves wisdom and humor into his story and their lives.

I recommend it highly, not only to those who have faced such grief but to anyone who someday might. Taking this show more journey with Jim, Cecily and their daughter Maddie has made me more acutely aware of the necessity for life beyond the grief. show less

A brutally honest account of the lives of Jim Beaver, Cecily Adams and their daughter, Maddie as Cecily fought cancer, the disease that eventually took her life. Mr. Beaver pours his soul onto the pages. You will feel the pain and grief, but you will also experience the joys brought about by Maddie and the many friends of the Beaver family.

When Jim Beaver’s wife Cecily was diagnosed with lung cancer in October 2003, he quickly discovered that keeping all of their friends and family up-to-date by phone was an impossibility. So he began sending nightly emails chronicling Cecily’s fight against cancer and his own struggle to deal with her illness, face the painful possibilities, and continue parenting their two-year-old daughter Maddie, who had recently been diagnosed as autistic. Life’s That Way presents Beaver’s nightly emails and allows readers to experience the journey with him.

This is not a traditional memoir. It is not a reflection or a collection of memories. It is a snapshot of one man’s struggle to make sense of “the transforming experience of [his] show more life” as he lived it, one day at a time. Beaver’s nightly emails bring us into his heart and mind and give us a rare glimpse of raw emotion laid bare as he reaches out to the people who love him and Cecily for support and strength. His remarkable ability to give voice to painful, intimate thoughts and terrifying worries are what make these emails special and worth sharing, and they are the reason that his original list of 100 recipients grew to over 4,000 during his year of nightly dispatches.

Reading this book is an intensely emotional experience. I felt myself on the verge of tears the entire time, and I cried often. This is the kind of story that you know, when you commit to live your life with someone you love, that you could someday be telling yourself, and it is a difficult but worthwhile read. Because Beaver’s writing has such immediacy and because we do not have 24 hours after each email to prepare for the next one, the emotion can become overwhelming. I never wanted to put this book down, but I could only read 30 or 40 pages at a time.

I can’t recommend this book highly enough. It will give you pause to reflect on your own relationships and experiences and to think about what your commitments really mean, and it will remind you that even in the worst of situations, people have a wonderful way of reaching out to help and support each other in astonishingly simple and profound ways.

Read my full review at The Book Lady's Blog. show less

Jim Beaver's Life's That Way is the most sincere account about the battle with cancer I've ever read. The book is a collection of e-mails Jim sent daily to family and friends about his wife's struggle with stage IV lung cancer. For most people who have experienced the disease this is indeed a painful read, but it also offers hope and reasons to smile. When Cecily was diagnosed, an unbelievable number of family members and friends offered to help in any way they could, making Cecily, Jim, and their little Maddie feel a little less alone in their fight.

Jim is honest in relating his thoughts and emotions. Reading about his anger, resentment at the unfairness of the disease, and profound fear makes it easier for people to accept these show more feelings when they experience them themselves.

This is a touching, heart-breaking book everyone should read. Not only because almost everyone knows someone who had cancer or even had it themselves, but because it can teach us about our own strength and courage when they're needed, and that human kindness and selflessness has no limits. show less

Life's That Way is a beautiful and moving memoir by Jim Beaver, the talented actor who I came to know from the TV series Supernatural. His memoir is a heartbreaking, touching, but also uplifting recounting of his wife's battle with cancer and daughter's battle with autism. Told through the heart-wrenching emails Jim Beaver sent to their family and friends, he writes with a strength and beauty that astounded me. I couldn't stop reading. Jim Beaver is an extremely talented writer, whose story holds so many truths and lessons for its readers.

Sarah M. / Marathon County Public Library
Find this book in our library catalog.

I picked up Jim Beaver's Life's That Way because I'm a fan, and I came away an even bigger fan. I cannot remember ever bursting into tears two pages into a book, but the emotion of his writing, the story, had me welling up constantly from beginning to end. It is very obvious how much he loved his wife.