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Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man (2006)

by Norah Vincent

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1,4606012,617 (3.44)32
For more than a year and a half Vincent ventured into the world as Ned, with an ever-present five o'clock shadow and a crew cut--a perfect disguise that enabled her to observe the world of men as an insider. With her buddies on the bowling league she enjoyed the rough and rewarding embrace of male camaraderie; a stint in a high-octane sales job taught her the gut-wrenching pressures endured by men who would do anything to succeed; she frequented sex clubs, dated women hungry for love but bitter about men, and infiltrated all-male communities including a men's therapy group and even a monastery. She ended her journey astounded--and exhausted--by the rigid codes and rituals of masculinity.--From publisher description.… (more)
  1. 30
    Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin (espertus)
    espertus: A classic book on a white man's experiences disguising himself as a black man in the American South in 1959.
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» See also 32 mentions

English (59)  Dutch (1)  Danish (1)  All languages (61)
Showing 1-5 of 59 (next | show all)
A wonderful read! Highly recommended.
May the author rest in peace. ( )
  atrillox | Nov 27, 2023 |
I wanted to love this, but at the end of the day, Vincent's characterization of men was so unbelievable -- I read passages about how men acted towards each other aloud to my husband, who found them a trite over-simplification. It reveals more of Vincent's misandry than any profound truths about sex and gender. ( )
  settingshadow | Aug 19, 2023 |

Like many of the people in the book, this book has a lot of flaws. There were plenty of times I had no idea where the author was coming from and I just skimmed through those paragraphs. But there enough *WOW* moments that give you pause and make the book more than worthwhile.






( )
  wellington299 | Feb 19, 2022 |
Fascinating and disturbing look at the inner world of men and the little known affect on the importance of father and son relationships as told through the eyes of a woman masquerading as a man and being admitted into the man's world as one of their own.

I enjoyed the investigative perspective. It was the next best thing to a male tell-all book. ( )
  AngelaLam | Feb 8, 2022 |
Well, I'm conflicted. On one hand I liked the idea of the book and much of the self-reflection was good, but on the other hand I didn't like how the situations in the book were concentrating on marginal experiences. I would've loved to see how Ned was doing in situations that Norah would normally find herself in and what was the difference there.

I also felt there was a lot of stereotyping of men and women. Maybe part of this comes from the American society that is fairly different of the European one, especially in contrast to Nordic countries.

I just really wish she would've also seen what it is to be a man in a more "normal" setting. With kinds of people she would normally befriend. I felt she was trying to find extremes and was surprised when they turned out to be people.

Also, the whole chapter about sex that concentrated on strip joints... I would think there are other ways for male sexuality to surface... Maybe the bigger problem were the titles of the chapters, like "sex" that then only concentrate on one aspect.

But, despite of all the things I found disturbing, it was an interesting read. I just thought it would've been even more interesting if Ned would've led a more normal life. ( )
1 vote RankkaApina | Feb 22, 2021 |
Showing 1-5 of 59 (next | show all)
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Epigraph
But this my masculine usurped attire . . .
Conceal me what I am, and be my aid
For such disguise as haply shall become
The form of my intent . . .
Disguise, I see, thou art a wickedness
Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.

— Twelfth Night
Were it not better,
Because that I am more than common tall,
That I did suit me all points like a man?
Lie there what hidden woman's fear there will,
We'll have a swashing and a martial outside,
As many other mannish cowards have
That do outface it with their semblances.'

As You Like It
Dedication
To my beloved wife, Lisa McNulty,
who saves my life on a daily basis.
First words
Seven years ago, I had my first tutorial in becoming a man.
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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Wikipedia in English (2)

For more than a year and a half Vincent ventured into the world as Ned, with an ever-present five o'clock shadow and a crew cut--a perfect disguise that enabled her to observe the world of men as an insider. With her buddies on the bowling league she enjoyed the rough and rewarding embrace of male camaraderie; a stint in a high-octane sales job taught her the gut-wrenching pressures endured by men who would do anything to succeed; she frequented sex clubs, dated women hungry for love but bitter about men, and infiltrated all-male communities including a men's therapy group and even a monastery. She ended her journey astounded--and exhausted--by the rigid codes and rituals of masculinity.--From publisher description.

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Average: (3.44)
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