Chuck Sambuchino

Amélie and Travelocity paint them to be cultured European world travelers, but as the adage goes: don’t believe everything you see on television. What they actually are are whirling dervishes of death, waiting patiently for the right moment to strike. You think zombies and juvenile vampires keep you up at night, you haven’t seen anything yet. (Did you know that it was actually a wooden gnome that set ancient Rome ablaze? You won’t learn that in any history book, my friends.)

In How to show more Survive a Gnome Attack, Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino arms us with an incredible four-step, user-friendly defense system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply. We learn how to recognize the signs of Gnomus hortus threats, how to “gnomeproof” our homes, tips that could save our lives (e.g., never stick your hand in the mailbox without first checking with a flashlight!!), and lastly how to apply all the aforementioned information within our daily lives.

This book could be your savior when they came to deliver evisceration and death. Ignore it at your peril.

Okay, all quasi-seriousness aside, I found this book is be utterly hilarious! Even before I began reading it the pictures had me in stitches (thank you Andrew Parsons!). The only compliant I have is that it sometimes drifted off into the cute category more than the humor, but that was only into 1-2 places. Other than that, two massively (and now well-fortified) thumbs up!

http://www.read-all-over.net/fiction/witticisms/how-to-survive-a-garden-gnome-at... show less

The writing section in my library is in constant flux. On one hand my favorite freelance writing books disappear from the shelves and online database never to be referenced again. Good thing I took notes. On the other hand, I come across new gems like Create Your Writer Platform.

Is it any different than reading a dozen online articles? That was my first concern. Yes, it's different and it's better.

The first chapters define a platform and the basics in how to use it. These chapters I show more skimmed as they are on par with the content you'll find in articles found on the first search engine page. Start your platform long before you publish, establish yourself in social media as a community member instead of constantly self-promoting, blog, etc. I call this common sense social media marketing. It's nothing special but a good baseline. But what does make one's content and marketing special?

Chapters four through thirteen specialize on aspects of a platform: choosing a niche, choosing your platform avenues, website, newsletters, and more. I'm not going to sell a book anytime soon, but the content holds relevance to those who aren't book authors. Platforms are imperative to freelancers and professional bloggers, and this book's information extends nicely. I took notes that'll help me choose a niche and how narrow to make it, know which social media sites suit which niches, and how to strategically approach blogging while maintaining my personal brand.

The back quarter of the book profiles successful writers with various approaches to platforming. Some hire help, some prefer going solo. Some use social media, some get by with word of mouth. They represent different genres, though perhaps happenstance they are mostly mainstream like general fiction, memoirs, inspirational, general reference, and such.

My main critique would be to include writers of specialized niches like science for nonfiction and fantasy for fiction--it's my understanding that specialized content come with specialized audiences, and writers need to target their marketing more differently than the degree of difference between writers of mainstream genres.

Even editors of anthologies and periodicals will explicitly say in their submission guidelines that they either accept everything other than speculative fiction or only accept speculative fiction. In nonfiction, publishers often flaunt the diversity of their content, which will be almost anything other than science.

Meanwhile others specialize in intellectual topics like science, history, and literature and almost entirely toss sports, lifestyle, and often politics unless it ties into one of the other accepted subjects--these publishers outcast mainstream topics the way mainstream publishers toss niche topics. In the writing industry there's no honest way of avoiding that we have split ourselves into two, broad marketing categories: mainstream and specialized.

Overall, Chuck Sambuchino did a good job with this book. I often find writer books to be too elementary, common sense, and even vague to glean anything applicable that I haven't applied when the ideas came to me on my own. Because of this, I appreciate the authors that do introduce information I have to take notes on and try for myself. show less

A wonderful distraction from my back pain, this short guide on home defense is amusing, and practical.

Plus there's no way you can slather greasepaint on your cheeks day by day and not start to think about it as war paint. And when war paint goes on the face, things can get violent real fast.

I received this book from netgalley in exchange for an honest review. I didn't know what to expect going in, figuring it was some sort of humor book - which it is. I never thought it would be so incredibly involved - every piece of costume is disected on a clown's evil meaning, every type of face paint, show more every form of clown, different locations you can find clowns, a list of famous clowns (Krusty from the Simpsons, Pennywise, Ronald McDonald, Joker, John Wayne Gacy).

It's amusing and hyper paranoid. The book ends with chapters on weapons against clowns, weapons THEY have, and goes on for awhile.

While cute, it's hard to hold interest for a full book. This is more of a gag gift for those who are afraid of clowns and want to laugh at themselves. It's not a serious book that actually examines true fear of clowns, although some of that is in there too. Kudos to the author for being so indepth with all angles of clown disaster, even if some of the jokes are carried too far. show less