Scott Rice

Hilarious second collection of entries into a bad written contest that challenges contributors to craft the worst possible opening sentence for a novel. Possibly more enjoyable for those who write prose, but definitely amusing for anyone that enjoys reading.

The secret of what would make a successful Bulwer Lytton Contest entry, decided Elwood Featherstonehough (pronounced 'Fanshaw') as he waded through the thick treacle of a hundred and twenty pages of main clauses riven asunder by agonizingly long-winded subordinates peppered with preposterous character names, irrelevant asides, and unnecessarily overwrought and awkwardly alliterative prose, was perhaps destined forever to remain tantalizingly just beyond his purview.

Not exactly a laugh-a-thon, but good for a few snickers (especially the "Vile Puns" section). Many of the entries are brilliant in the manner of "someone impersonating a drunk on ice skates," as the introduction's metaphor goes. It offers good exercise for writers like me. I attempted to parse what made each entry a bad opening line. I'm not sure I've passed, since some of these false starts had genuine hooks to them, I thought (how did someone drown in their sleep? I want to know.) I think show more some of the entries are more subtle, where perhaps the sentences themselves aren't bad but suggest the (non-existent) novel to follow would be bad by implication. I won't go hunting for more in this series, but one was fun to read. show less

Hilarious collection of entries into a bad written contest that challenges contributors to craft the worst possible opening sentence for a novel. Possibly more enjoyable for those who write prose, but definitely amusing for anyone that enjoys reading.