Debi Pearl

This is misogynistic and sexist drivel that if followed, is likely to leave a woman trapped in an unequal and even abusive marriage. All in the name of religion! Because God says that woman is lesser than man, yada yada.

The author does not believe a woman should have her own property - if a woman has amassed savings before marriage, she MUST spend or share it after she's married, regardless of what kind of man her husband is. (to the point where if a man is wasteful, or wrecks her stuff, she show more should just suck it up because hey, she married him! So everything is now his, regardless!)

https://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/what-should-a-single-girl-do-with-her-savings/....

This is also a woman who is against anyone divorcing their husband - EVEN IF THAT HUSBAND IS PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE. Her husband. Michael Pearl, also suggests that EVEN IF A HUSBAND HAS MOLESTED YOUR CHILDREN, YOU SHOULD STILL NOT DIVORCE HIM.

Don't believe me? Look at this fuckery on their website. https://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/?topic_slug=marriage-articles

In short, Debi dispenses advice that is DANGEROUS to women, and places them in an unequal position in the relationship where she is subject to the whims - and abuses - of her husband.

Debi Pearl is in no way qualified to dispense advice to women who are considering partnerships/marriage. She is also a big fan of having the woman's father being a big part of the courtship/etc - essentially having the father (or another male figure if dad is not available) "guide" the woman into marriage. Ew. Also, you're supposed to pray. A LOT. And much of that prayer is for you (as a woman) to submit to the men in your life and accept their wisdom, because God made man to be better than women because he designed men to be the head of the household, and all that sexist tripe.

Absolutely revolting. show less

Nope. NopenopenopenopenopeNOPENOPENOPENOPE.

As of this date, at least three children have died as a direct result of the batshittery that is promoted in this book. The fact that libraries still have this book, and Amazon (and other vendors) are still selling this book (yes, I just checked Amazon) is a big shame in itself.

This book is so fucked up that I can't even joke about it. The author fucking advocates WHIPPING infants that are only a few months old. Whipping is also encouraged for every show more transgression, big and small. Also, according to the author, if you don't whip your child, you're creating a Nazi.

You're also supposed to whop babies when they're not able to sleep. Or whip them for crying. But wouldn't whipping an infant cause them to cry, and if you're supposed to whip them when they cry...

The author's wife also abuses children she babysits, including hitting a toddler so hard that it caused the kid to wheeze. Also, you should also totally abuse a kid until they're totally broken (yes, the authors use that phrase) Kids should also be hit if they cry for their mother.

You should also whip kids until they stop crying/screaming, and hurting infants who bite their mother's nipples (during breastfeeding. Instead of just, y'know, pulling the infant away for a bit) as well as tripping toddlers so that they fall into deep water. If an infant bumps their head or a kid skins their knee, ignore it.

The real shit-cherry on top of the shit-sundae though? If your child is being bullied, you're supposed to REJOICE. Also, it's ok to withhold food from a child.

Yet, Amazon and other retailers and libraries still have this book and make it AVAILABLE. (Again, at least three children have died from this. Others have been taken into custody by CPS, and adults involved in treating children this way have been arrested or faced charges)

The Pearls suggest using your size to beat and press a child into submission.

"if you have to sit on him to spank him, then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher. Defeat him totally.”

I'd love to see the Pearls themselves being beat by a gang of people bigger/stronger than they are until they're whimpering in submission.

This shit is fucking batshit insane and the Pearls are terrible, awful people who are far more in need of an ass-beating than any kid.

I've also noticed that all the 5-star reviews of this book I've read come from people who claim to be Christian and praise this book as "sensible" or "common sense" or other nonsense drivel that should NEVER be used to describe child abuse.

Funny how so many Christians seem to forget that Jesus preached kindness, not child abuse.

The Pearls also are okay with molested children remaining in the same home as their abusers. And before any supporter of these batshit nutters claim that I am making things up, here is a link directly from the Pearls' ministry website...

https://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/?topic_slug=marriage-articles

In it, the Pearls claim that if the husband shows repentance (too many abusers cry crocodile tears and continue abusing) then the children should be kept in the house with him, and that the wife should not divorce him. Even if the husband is sent to jail for his actions, the wife should still stand by him.

Because apparently, the abuser is more important than the abused.

The Pearls have no place to speak or advise others when it comes to the welfare of children. Period. They're evil, sick, diseased people who should never have had children, nor should they ever be allowed around any children at all. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. show less

This is misogynistic, sexist drivel by a woman who advocates child (and even infant) abuse.

She apparently does not believe a woman should have her own property - if a woman has amassed savings before marriage, she MUST spend or share it after she's married, regardless of what kind of man her husband is. (to the point where if a man is wasteful, or wrecks her stuff, she should just suck it up because hey, she married him! So everything is now his, regardless!)

show more target="_top">https://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/what-should-a-single-girl-do-with-her-savings/....

Relevant quote from the article...

"A reader asks...

A girl has accumulated savings throughout the years as a single gal. What is she to do about the money when she gets married? I am playing the devil’s advocate and considering the husband does not end up behaving as a good and responsible provider (as we have seen many times). Does she give him her hard-earned money? Do they sign a prenuptial agreement? I wonder and wonder and wonder what the Pearls’ opinion is on this.

Debi Answers
This is answered in a practical way. What a girl earns before marriage is her money, but once she is married, what they have is theirs. So for the sake of peace, when she is ready to marry, she either needs to spend it or be prepared to share it. When I married I had a VW Bug that was in great shape, totally paid for, and MINE. He, on the other hand, had an over-sized gas eater and owed money on it. He loved to race my VW around the yard like it was a toy, bouncing and basically pulling it apart inch by inch. I had carefully and meticulously cared for my little car. His abuse irritated me in the worst way, BUT what was his was mine and what was mine was his. My mom told me to suck it up because now I was married, and men often spend money like water and always like to wreck stuff for fun."

This is also a woman who is against anyone divorcing their husband - EVEN IF THAT HUSBAND IS PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE. Her husband. Michael Pearl, also suggests that EVEN IF A HUSBAND HAS MOLESTED YOUR CHILDREN, YOU SHOULD STILL NOT DIVORCE HIM.

Don't believe me? Look at this fuckery on their website. https://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/?topic_slug=marriage-articles

Quote from Debi "Divorce followed by the most wonderful second marriage is still a failure, and will be throughout eternity. When you chunk a bad marriage, you chunk your lifelong opportunity for God to have manifested his power and glory. A failing marriage is a challenge to God. When you divorce, you divest God of the opportunity of ever making something glorious out of the Devil’s mess. Divorce is not just your failure, it becomes the failure of God to triumph in those circumstances. You are not just saying that it is "more than you can bear," but that it is "more than God could handle." "

Quote from her husband Michael Pearl from this article... "But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling, you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove himself, as long as you know the children are safe. If there is any thought that they are not safe, or if he is not repentant and willing to seek help, then go to the law and have him arrested. Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution. Will this glorify God? Forever. You ask, "What if he doesn’t repent even then?" Then you will be rewarded in heaven equal to the martyrs, and God will have something to rub in the Devil’s face. God hates divorce—always, forever, regardless, without exception."

In short, Debi dispenses advice that is DANGEROUS to women, and places them in an unequal position in the relationship where she is subject to the whims - and abuses - of her husband.

Debi Pearl is one of the last fucking people that I would ever take marriage advice from, just as she and her husband are some of the last people anyone should take child-rearing or relationship advice from. These people are disgusting. show less

No matter what kind of language Michael and Debi Pearl couch their "advice" in, child abuse is still child abuse, and it's creepy how often the Pearls compare children to animals. The Pearl's ultimate goal here is unquestioning obedience. They claim they're not interested in 'breaking' children, but then in the same breath, they will extoll the virtues of a obedient, unquestioning child.

In fact, this gem comes up early on in the text in reference to training - "future, instant, unquestioning show more obedience"

Ewww.

They also encourage hitting babies and toddlers to teach them to not reach for things when common sense dictates that you keep things out of reach. I mean, we're talking about fucking infants and toddlers here, folks.

The example of Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit is used to reinforce this "lesson" but to me, that story has always been fucked up. The forbidden fruit is the fruit of KNOWLEDGE - Jehovah wanted Adam and Eve to be ignorant, and likewise, Michael and Debi want children to be ignorant and obedient.

Mind you, the forbiiden fruit in question was 'knowledge of good and evil' so apparently Jehovah didn't want his "children" to know the difference between good and evil - all he wanted was obedience. (And people wonder why I'm an atheist, but I digress...)

Joyous obedience is mentioned multiple times. It's just so creepy because I also hear about joyous obedience in the context of the subjection of a wife to her husband (but never the other way around. Hmm...)

The pearls add physical punishment to various aspects of child-rearing, and it is honestly distressing to see how easily they are willing to resort to slapping the child or hitting them with an object. When one of their children (at 5 months old) kept trying to climb up the stairs, they switched her bare legs rather than use a baby gate. JFC.

Pearl also insists that dogs are smarter than cats, but in personal experience, I find the opposite to be true, lol. (From the way Michael writes about cats, I get the sense that he dislikes cats, and he compares training children to training dogs, so it makes sense to me that the Pearls would prefer dogs!)

Mr. Pearl also insists that ordinary children's behavior (kids not trained in the Pearl way) is terrorism, he compares kids to the Mafia or union bosses. Jeez, the Pearls really don't want ANY independent thought from children, do they???)

It's also creepy how Michael defends the flaws in Bible logic, like Jehovah creating people to be inherently sinful. Just stay the fuck away from this book, seriously. The Pearls are some of the LAST people I'd ever listen to when it comes to child-rearing advice, because it's clear all they want out of children are obedient automatons, but then, they love their religion so much, and Jehovah wants obedient automatons too, so eh. show less