Mary Beth Chapman

In May 2008, tragedy struck the family of recording artist Steven Curtis Chapman. His 5-year old daughter Maria was accidentally struck with a vehicle and killed by their older son. In Choosing To SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope, Mary Beth Chapman writes of the impact the devastation and loss had on her and her family. In sharing a little of her life story, she reveals her struggle with accepting things that she could not change (both the good and the bad) and learning to follow God in show more what came into her life. Part of the difficulties came through battles with depression and part came through coming to terms with things she could not control. This lesson was to help her when tragedy struck. Interspersed throughout the book are lyrics from various songs her husband wrote. It gave these songs a whole new life to discover the backdrop of why they were written.

Chapman is very open, raw and brutally honest with the challenges she faced and continues to face. This is not a book written from the perspective of someone who has all the answers, someone who has it all together. Rather, it is from a mother who still aches for her daughter and longs for the burden and guilt her son carries to be taken away. It is from a person who still asks God "Why?" In one of the most poignant statements, Chapman says "When people ask how we are doing, the first thing I always say is, `I want Maria back. I want my son Will Franklin not to have this as a chapter in his story. I want my children to be healthy, my family secure. I don't really care whose life has been touched or changed because of our loss!'" Throughout the book and especially after the death of their daughter, Chapman writes of her trust in God, a trust in his sovereignty that says although things look bleak now, one day God will make all things new.

Choosing to SEE is not an easy book to read. I had to put it down several times to relieve the ache in my heart for her family and deal with the fears I had of such a thing happening to my own family. As my wife has said to others in recommending the book "You might as well buy Walmart out [of tissues] now!" Having gone through (and currently going through) the adoption journey, I also enjoyed reading of their family's journey in bringing home their three daughters from China. Ultimately, it is encouraging to see someone who is living through a tragedy not only admit they still struggle (something I'm too often afraid to admit!), but confess an unwavering trust in a God who gives us hope. show less

Anyone who kept track of the Christian music industry in 2008 (and many who didn't) heard about the loss of five-year-old Maria Chapman to a tragic accident in the driveway of the Chapman family's home. This book feels more like two shorter books: the first half being a general biography of Mary Beth's journey as Christian, wife to a CCM superstar, and mother ... the second half being her journey of sorrow and anger and hope after her daughter's death.

My reading diet of primarily fiction show more may have shaped my view of this book somewhat. The editing could be tighter, especially regarding the repetition. The writing itself is more like conversation than text. However, especially in the last quarter of the book (which consists of blog posts from Mary Beth in the first two years without Maria), a blogging/speaking style seems to be the point.

Choosing to SEE is brave, open, aching. It asks questions and usually doesn't have answers. Yet it settles at last on the choice to "SEE" what God has to show us, through grief and in spite of it--namely, Himself. I have so much respect for Mary Beth, revealing her heart and her flaws, her victories and defeats, to a readership of strangers like me. I'm richer for having read this book. show less

Mary Beth Chapman is the wife of Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman. The book begins with her marriage at 19 to 21-year-old Steven and continues through the early years of their marriage--the beginning of Steven's career as a singer and the ultimate birth of three children. Mary Beth also frankly discusses her problems with depression, especially during Steven's early tours, and the fact that she takes anti-depressants. I found that brave because many Christians can be judgmental about show more mental health issues. At some point Mary Beth and her eldest daughter take a Compassion International trip to Haiti, where Emily's heart is turned toward the plight of orphans. She begins to urge her parents to adopt a child. Ultimately they do decide to adopt a baby girl from China. They are so touched by the situation of the orphans that they urge their friends and others to adopt as well, and several in their circle of friends and family do. The Chapmans go on to adopt two more daughters from China, completing their family with six children. Then one day tragedy strikes when their son Will Franklin hits their 5-year-old daughter Maria with his car in their driveway (NOT a spoiler since this is on the dust jacket). The remainder, and point, of the book is the family, especially Mary Beth, dealing with the grief caused by Maria's death. Mary Beth frankly deals with the fact that in the depth of her sorrow she has questions about why God would allow such a tragedy to happen, but continues to choose to SEE that she has a future with Maria in heaven, that there is a purpose and plan that can't be comprehended, and that while she won't get over the tragedy, she and her family will get through it. She also has to deal not only with the death of her daughter, but also her concern over her son and his guilt, and the fact that the oldest adopted daughter witnessed the accident. The Chapmans have a strong faith that holds them together, and friends and family who share that faith and pull together. They also wisely seek counseling for everyone. The aftermath takes the family members in different directions, but they channel their grief into projects that benefit others and allow them to share their faith.

I enjoyed this book because Mary Beth doesn't hesitate to voice her doubts and questions to God. She doesn't pretend that all is well because she believes in an eternal future with her lost child. She spends day in tears and despair. And yet despite her agony, that doesn't really abate, she is able to hang on to her faith and choose to SEE what God can do and how he meets her needs from day to day. This book was heartbreaking, but inspirational. show less

Mary Beth Chapman shares about her struggles--with depression, with the road that led their family to adoption, and with the road of grief that followed them after the death of her daughter Maria. Her honesty gives the reader a lot of insight into her families struggles and what they are passionate about. It is very inspiring to see how her relationship with God has been her source of strength through it all, and to see how others have also helped along the way. The stories shared will bring show more tears, but some will also bring laughter, and many f them encouraged my heart. Fans of Steven Curtis Chapman's music will definitely love it, but anyone who enjoys reading memoirs written by people of faith will enjoy this read. Just be sure to have a few tissues handy. show less