Claire M. Renzetti

Orthodoxy has it that domestic violence is a 'gendered crime' that is, that most perpetrators are men, that women rarely engage in it unless out of self-defence mostly, and that its root causes are sexism and the patriarchy. Of course, it's all bogus! Here are misconceptions, though (peddled by self-interested lobbies, most of them tied up to neo-feminist ideologies) that have truly damaging consequences, not least for all those victims not fitting such 'gendered' narrative. Abused lesbians, show more being women victims of domestic violence at the hands of other women, are one such demographics, happily thrown under the bus because of this 'it's-the-patriarchy-stupid' bogus mantra.

Lesbians are so neglected, in fact, that books about their ordeals are very rare indeed. 'Violent Betrayal', written by Claire Renzetti and based on one of her own research study, was actually published in... 1992! As such, it relies on researches mostly done in the 1980s; something which, from a 2022 vantage point (when I read it) should tell you all you need to know about the extent of such neglect.

Acknowledging this appalling disregard matters, though. It matters to our understanding of such abusive relationships. It matters, also and above all, to our responses, both to support victims, and, help abusers in addressing whatever issues make them abusers in the first place. The 'gendered crime' mantra might be bogus indeed, but, as it is the zeitgeist we had to content with for the past five decades at least, it has had negative consequences for the past five decades at least.

On the one hand, support available to victims of domestic violence are mostly targeted to heterosexual women. As such, and for a few reasons (outlined) it's mostly inadequate for homosexuals. In fact, strikingly, the author is here not afraid to face some unsettling issues, such as a latent homophobia which was pervasive back then among some workers, not least workers in women shelters (again, this was written in the early 1990s...). Of course, when it comes to homophobia, many things might have changed! Yet... Yet, I found it 'striking' because, I felt that the homophobia peddled then somehow echoes the transphobia of now -when transwomen are even denied their status of women!- with the same toxic consequences: a whole demographic of vulnerable women, already marginalised, disempowered, and abused, are neglected and thus further institutionally abused and re-victimised by the same neo-feminists purporting to... support women! (You can't make it up...).

On the other hand, because most abusers are assumed to be men, intervention programs for domestic abusers are therefore tailored to men; leaving abusive women in limbo, their toxic behaviours unaddressed. Of course, here's not the sole prerogative of lesbians! Such programs for straight women are, also, seriously lacking, allowing thus countless female abusers to carry on abusing (be it their male partners or their children) -in total impunity. But, it has a noxious impact which can be particularly well felt in such demographic, already marginalised.

Claire Renzetti's book may be outdated on a few aspects (some of her views on heterosexual abusive relationships have, again, been debunked). But, her insights are still greatly relevant. First, because she debunks a few myths pertaining to lesbianism, and the dynamics within such relationships (especially when such dynamic is abusive). Then, and, I felt, most importantly, because by shedding light on why some women engage in domestic abuse, she, also, offers insights on various factors that explain domestic abuse in the first place, beyond the grotesque and caricatural neo-feminist parroting that: 'it's-men-because-they-are-sexist-and-patriarchs'. In fact, her discussions of imbalance of power, dependency, jealousy, substance abuse, and childhood trauma (the intergenerational aspect of domestic violence) will be revealing to anyone interested in the topic, regardless of their sexuality.

In the end, domestic violence is everything but a gendered crime. And, for as long as we will blind ourselves to this simple fact, demographics not fitting such ideologically driven narrative will remain neglected, further re-victimised, when not institutionally abused on top of it all. 'Violent Betrayal', then, is a great book when it comes to shift the focus from heterosexual women to homosexual ones, not only because it acts as the otherwise silenced voice of such demographic, but, also, because by doing so it will be pertinent to anyone wanting a serious understanding of abusive relationships, sustained by science over gendered dogma. It's a shame that the research on female perpetrated abuse remains scant, their victims still neglected! show less