Shelina Zahra Janmohamed

This memoir was a delightful surprise. As the title suggests it is about finding love; the author, Shelina, is a British-born Asian Muslim who is choosing to allow her community to arrange a marriage for her. Shelina goes through several years and countless suitors in a sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking search for The One. Through suitors who reject her for being too short, or for her choice to wear the hijab, Shelina is determined not to settle for someone less than a lifelong show more spiritual companion.

What was surprising about this memoir is that in addition to a chronicle of Shelina's search for love, it is also a deep and profoundly moving meditation on Islam and what it means to be a Muslim woman. Shelina deftly outlines the ways in which the true nature of Islam have been marred by those who seek to extort religion as a means to gain cultural and political power. She clarifies the difference between faith and culture, pointing out that the Islamic faith supports equality among all humans and highlighting several stories from Islam's history that highlight strong female figures from the religion. Culture, she notes, is what has created oppression and inequality. Shelina's experience with those who question her choice to wear the hijab and believe she is oppressed, illustrate the vast confusion and misunderstanding in many Western societies of the Islamic faith. Far from being oppressed, Shelina travels the world unchaperoned, has been to Oxford, and has a promising career.

This memoir shattered so many stereotypes that are perpetuated about Muslim women. It was touching, funny, poignant, and thought-provoking. It should not be missed. show less

This is an interesting 200-page story told in 253 pages. While I found the author engaging, my desire to move along was occasionally hindered by having some things explained, recapped, and even explained or mentioned again in a later chapter. This may be good form for broadcasters and bloggers, but it didn't work well in book format. The repetition almost, but thankfully didn't, stop me from getting past the first few chapters.

Janmohamed wrote this book as a single woman living in London, show more where she arrived with her family from India via Africa along with the heritage of both cultures. The personal story of the author's search for true love by going the traditional route of an "arranged" marriage was educational, funny, intelligent, winsome, empowering and encouraging. I found the book insightful and uplifting.

Janmohamed has also done the service of humanizing the Muslim religion by virtue of her own gentle but unwavering commitment to the tenets of true Islam. This too, was by choice - not forced on her - which makes the reasons for her faith all the more compelling. She writes of them with ease, from a personal depth, and without proselytizing or preaching.

That she perseveres in the midst of a "Western" culture which changes day to day based on celebrity whim and peer pressure is almost astounding. Janmohamed's voice was a pleasure to hear in the cacophony of political rhetoric. If for some reason the words "Muslim" or "Islam" scare you, then give this book a try. And read it for sure if you’re thinking of settling for anything but true love. show less

"At the age of thirteen I knew I was destined to marry John Travolta. One day he would arrive on my north London doorstep, fall madly in love with me, and ask me to marry him. Then he would convert to Islam and become a devoted Muslim."

If only life were that simple. For Shelina, trying to find love in London while adhereing to her Asian cultural background, her British sensibilities, and, most importantly, her Islamic religious understandings is NOT simple. From arranged introductions from show more the "buxom Aunties" to speed dating to Internet matchmaking, Shelina tries to remain true to her culture, her religion, and herself with humor and patience. Only as she learns more about Islamic Love of the Divine does she begin to understand the love she seeks with a marriage partner.

Some of the initial chapters of Love in a Headscarf are very funny, with descriptions of encounters with would be suitors and their expectations, as well as her own. As the book progresses and time passes for Shelina, the book becomes more reflective of her religious development and her maturing understanding of the nature of marital relationships in an Islamic context. Although I found the book interesting, I did get a bit bogged down two-thirds of the way through. Some of her understandings and insights are elaborated on numerous times, from slightly different angles. I found the tone of the book to transition from a humourous, self-deprecating one, to a self-assured tone that bordered on condescending.

Overall I thought the book a welcome addition to the growing collection of Muslim women's voices that provide a needed alternative to the stereotype of the black-veiled oppressed Muslim woman. show less

I'm not usually a memoir reader, but I picked this book because the story sounded unlike anything I'd ever read before, but it also sounded familiar to my own life in some ways - not a memoir of sensational or awful or tawdry or scandalous things, but of a more or less ordinary person trying to navigate the ordinary confusing frustrating regular world, and I wasn't disappointed at all.

This is a really charming autobiography describing a woman's search for a suitable husband, but it's also a show more lot more than that. In a sense, Shelina Janmohamed is Everygirl, trying to figure out the size and shape of her ideal life partner, and trying to figure out how to find him - introductions from relatives, speed dating, internet dating, meeting people through one's work or place of worship. She faces the same issues that everyone looking for a mate faces - are my standards too high? Where do I draw the line when it comes to respect? What should I compromise on? Will this person make me happy? Can I be with this person and still be myself? Who *is* myself anyway? Her perspective on the process is deeply informed by her religion, and by the traditions of her culture, and her feelings change as her experience grows and broadens over the course of her story. In this way it is very easy, I think, for anyone to relate to the emotions and experiences she goes through on her search.

The story is also a fascinating window into what it means to Shelina Janmohamed to be a woman and a Muslim and a South Asian. She is deeply committed to and thoughtful about her religion and the choices she has made for it and because of it. It clearly brings her strength and comfort, but also sadness and frustration as she feels compelled to speak out about acts of terrorism and oppression committed in the name of Islam. She addresses in particular her decision to wear a headscarf, and her frustration that the debate around the wearing of a headscarf, and the decision to wear a headscarf, often does not include the voices of women who have made that choice, intelligently and thoughtfully, for themselves.

I really enjoyed reading about her search for a life partner, and I think her message about following one's heart and being true to one's self and ideas is really powerful. She's inspired me to want to read and learn more about Islam, and also to be more thoughtful and open in my own life. I highly recommend this book. show less