Jennifer Castle

I thought this book was wonderful. I can't imagine how tough it would for everyone to feel like they know you. Through two different documentaries, Justine's life was laid bare, first when she was 6 and then again when she was 11.

But, Justine wasn't alone because Nate, Felix, Rory and Keira were there too. Except, ever since they were 11, they haven't been there for each other.

Now, the group is 16 and Leslie and Lance (the documentary couple) are back to do more shooting and film where they show more are. And Justine is not where she thought she would be at 16. She wanted to be in a band, she wanted to be a star, she had dreams and goals and was fiesty and fierce at 11.

At 16, she has only a few friends, no boyfriend (there's a boy that broke her heart and no one since).

How do you show the world your life when you don't feel like you do anything - you didn't even live up to your expectations for yourself?

Justine's story is so well done. I loved the different personalities of each kid, but also of the filming crew and the parents and siblings. I love how heartbreaking the simple misunderstandings, the judgement and the hurt they have dished to each other has defined them in their teenage years. How they've lost contact but not lost each other. I thought it was beautiful. show less

My take: I was hesitant to read this book because I am one of the very few people who absolutely hated If I Stay. I hated the story, not the writing. Yet I loved Where She Went which led me to wonder how I would react to this book. Would it feel contrived or would it offer something of substance which is what I thought the first book lacked. I found this story to be substantial and well worth the read.

The protagonist is 16 year old Laurel who bowed out of celebrating Seder dessert. Ever the show more good girl, she wanted to brush up on her SAT studies. Her antithesis is David who is also a high school student, a former friend turned rebel without a cause. He bowed out to tick his parents off. So Laurel's and David's parents along with Laurel's 13 year old brother drive off for ice cream, leaving their teens home to greet the police officer who comes to their doors to inform them of the horrible accident. Laurel's family is wiped out. David's mother died while David's father, the driver, is comatose.

The story details the brutal process of figuring out what comes next. Laurel's grandmother relocates to raise Laurel. Laurel slugs along through her grieving process, tries to return to school but breaks down. She struggles to stay on track while balancing her grieving, her anger, and her own development and dealing with the pity of others. Meanwhile, David's father is placed in long term care and David chooses to disappear. David shows up every so often and he and Laurel forge a relationship that bothered me because it wasn't textbook or storybook. It was real. There is guilt, pain, a shared childhood, rage, love, and a myriad of emotions and then David would disappear again.

Laurel's character is so well developed, as is her grandmother's and her grandmother's grief which is nearly forgotten by Laurel. They deal with the memories, the objects that need to be cleaned out, the clothes, Laurel's senior year, the looks of pity, the relationships formed of pity, the healing and the conclusion.

What I liked best about the book is that it is not neat and pretty. The loss is still a loss. Time is marked by "Before" and "After" but the year following is a different passage of time. It's not quite "after" but the time where the survivors piece together what is left and make as much sense of their life as they can. Laurel slugs through while David runs away. Eventually both characters find equilibrium for themselves in different ways.

Language: mild
Sex: lightly implied but some petting
Dialogue: mild

I'd let my 16 year old read it. show less

What Happens Now was honestly a much deeper story than I expected it to be, and that's a good thing. When I first met Ari, our main character, I believed that this would be a story that dealt strictly with depression and cutting. While it definitely dealt with those topics, Jennifer Castle manages to wrap up so many other things right along with it. She adds in perfect moments of levity, and of self-discovery. This book isn't nearly as dark as I thought it might be, and I appreciated that.
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Ari was an excellent main character, especially when it came to her battle with depression and anxiety. I really appreciated how Castle dealt with the way that Ari felt, on a daily basis. Her life didn't automatically go back to normal after the big life choice she made, and her relationships were simply perfect again. No, Ari had to fight for normality. She had to battle against people who just expected her to be okay, by explaining that she just didn't work the same way as others. I loved that Castle gave Ari a strong support network, but also added in some barriers for her as well.

In fact, one of my favorite parts of this story was the big focus on relationships. Ari's relationship with her stepfather and mother was interesting. Often, in books like this, the main character isn't a fan of their stepfather. For Ari, her relationship with him was stronger with her mother, and I kind of liked that. It made for an excellent opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Even the relationship between Ari and her best friend Kendall wasn't perfect. They bickered, they got annoyed with one another, but at the end of the day they were always there for one another. Just like real life, which is refreshing to read about in a book.

So why the missing star? Honestly, there are portions of this book that tended to drag a bit, and it made some of it a burden to get through. I loved Ari. I ate up her adorably awkward friendship with Camden and his own group of friends. Still, some of the decisions that Ari made took so long to come to fruition, that it made things slow down. Overall it was a really solid story though, and I ended up enjoying it quite a lot. show less

Wow. I just finished The Beginning of After after a marathon reading session—only food and bathroom breaks tore me away, and the food was mainly to be polite to my family. (And mostly because I'm with my mother—my kids are fine with me reading at the dinner table when it's just us.) This novel was amazing. When I requested it from NetGalley, I really wasn't a hundred percent sure I wanted to read it, because reading about grief can be tough. If it's done well, it's hard because if you've show more been in a similar place it might bring you back a little bit closer to it than you wanted to be. If it's not done well, sometimes that's even worse because you just know that whoever wrote those words really doesn't get it. They may think they do, they might think it's something that they can just imagine, empathize with, and put into words, but they just don't. Having experienced something "truly crappy" (as Jennifer Castle has Laurel so succinctly describe the event that the rest of the book is "after" in the novel's very first paragraph) myself a few years before, I knew that "ka-pow, shake-you-to-the-core-and-turn-your-bones-to-plastic kind of crappy" that Laurel talks about because I've felt that too. (I read that line and said, "Yes! That's exactly what it feels like!")

Laurel's story is…I know I've already said amazing, but it is. It covers the accident that changes her life and about a year and a half of her "after" afterwards. You see her grief and how she tries to deal (and not deal) with it. You see her struggle between wanting to be normal and wanting that cushion of people knowing that she's not normal and giving her latitude because of it. You see her trying to balance between what her family wanted and expected for her, what those who are still there and care about her want for her, what she wants (and figuring out what she wants), and what she's actually going to do. It's heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. I cheered for her and cried for her. Sometimes both at the same time.

Read. This. Book. It's truly—wait for it—inspiring. (And amazing. You knew I had to say it again!) show less