Donna Williams (1) (1963–2017)

I'm glad I read Temple Grandin's "The way I see it" before reading this. The contrast is absolutely fascinating. Although Donna Williams is quite a bit younger than Grandin (fairly close in age to myself as far as I can work out), this book is very clearly a product of a much earlier era. In fact, the experiences described make me wonder if Australia was way behind the US in its understanding of autism.

Temple Grandin depicts a very logical, scientific background for autism, making it seem show more clear, straightforward and normal. The foreword to "Nobody nowhere" makes a great, unknowable mystery of it. Where Grandin focuses on ability, the forward to Williams' book focuses on disability. Williams is made to appear as a fascinating specimen and her achievements as being wonderful - for someone with a disability. In fact, Williams writes deeply, feelingly (most of the time) and thought-provokingly; she doesn't need to be judged against a lower standard.

There is one thing I really do like about this book. Grandin pushes responsibility to conform onto the person with autism. She encourages individuality, but only insofar as it does not get in the way of conformity with society's norms. That's fair enough, but it leaves me a bit uncomfortable at times. Williams champions the inherent value of a person as they are, without need of meeting someone else's standards of acceptable.

One thing does fascinate me. As soon as Williams described her "wisps" I recognised them immediately. I still see them occasionally. Mine (I assume) are a result of "litter" at the back of my eye. I like to watch them too. But as for the spots, well, um, doesn't everybody see them??? show less

'I believe I was born alienated, and if not, I was certainly so by the time I got left behind in emotional development at about the age of three. Autistic people are not mad, not stupid. They are not fairies, not aliens -just people trapped in invisible, crippled emotional responses. At the same time it would be misleading to think that such people do not feel.'

Every life experience is different. When it comes to autism, Donna Williams (who wasn't diagnosed until she had reached adulthood) show more certainly ticked many of the expected boxes -the hypersensitivity; the spinning and jumping; loosing herself into objects while trying to avoid people; the obsession with classifying, ordering and copying; the challenging behaviours (by her own reckoning: aggressive, uncooperative, disruptive); the lack of common sense; her way of talking 'at' people, not 'with' (which her family pejoratively called 'wonking')… Yet, how much of that was down to autism? How much to her very own personal upbringing?

The thing is, Donna Williams grew up in a dysfunctional family and was particularly abused, as a child, by her mother (who wanted her locked up into an institution against the prevailing wishes of her father). The home dynamic was toxic; and when children grow up into such traumatic environment, whatever the type of abuse being melted upon them it leaves scars that always get carried into adulthood. It's all part of an emotional make up and learnt ways to cope so as to survive. She, of course, didn't escape that, although she mitigates it ('my home life affected some of the forms that my behaviour took, though not the behaviour itself'). She actually went as far as to depersonalise herself, creating herself different personalities to help her cope with the outside world. Was there here an issue with mental illness? Well, she was first diagnosed, wrongly as it turned out, with schizophrenia...

What's truly sad here is to see her repeating self-harming patterns -the abusive boyfriends, the precarious jobs, living on the poverty line when not, at time, being homeless... Beyond autism, here's indeed the autobiography of one of these countless runaway girls fleeing abusive homes, just to end up being abused again and again, until abusing even themselves (e.g. she will reach the point of self-mutilating). Is that steering away from autism as such? Not really. After all, abused childhood or not, autistic people too are at risk of abuses and exploitation, and they too struggle with personal relationships, let alone finding a place in society and on the job market!

We moved a long way from her era, though. She grew up in the seventies, and this book was first published in 1992. What I also found interesting here is the mindset from that period, not so far back in time. There's the taboo if not ignorance (denial?) as to her condition (she was simply labelled 'disturbed', a lack of proper recognition which seriously messed up her schooling to start with, while her mum overall was perceived as being one of those 'refrigerator mother'...). There's the confusion even among the medical profession (again, her misdiagnosis as schizophrenic; a common mistake back then...). One cannot, in fact, but wonder what would have happened had she grew up a few decades later? Her life would certainly (or so we hope) have been very different...

Here's an extraordinary autobiography indeed. Her path might not be the typical path of an autistic, and many things have changed since the seventies and eighties. Nevertheless, the insight into her mind as an autistic, and, the story of her reckoning and triumph through a painful journey remains a powerful and harrowing account. It still worth a read if you have any interest in autism. show less

Amazing book!!
A first person telling of an autistic life. Searing in parts, heartwarming in others, but always a stark telling of the reality of the author's life.
I found it a stunning window onto the life of a person living in the same world as me, but living differently. The writing is so clear and transparent.
I was in awe of the author - to live such a difficult life, and to be able tell the story so vividly and compellingly!!
Published 30 years ago, when autism was not widely understood show more (or diagnosed), I'm sure that Ms Williams played a out-sized role in lifting the understanding of autism in both the professional and broader communities. show less

The follow-up to Nobody Nowhere, and again Donna Williams succeeds brilliantly in telling the world about autism from the inside. It's truly remarkable - impossible not to be moved by the searing story of her life and struggles to understand how to live in this strange world she finds herself in.
But she succeeds - both in living successfully, and in writing about in an highly accessible way. Amazing.