Milena Busquets

Milena Busquets novel “This Too Shall Pass” is evocative, honest, and touching. The narrator and main character, Blanca, is trying to recover from the death of her mother. Surrounded by her ex-husbands, friends, children, lover, and those who knew her mother, she works on reimagining her life now that she must go on without her emotional core.

Busquets’ description of the coastal town of Cadaques was such that I pulled up Travel Advisor and began planning a vacation there. But show more Busquets’ true gift is in describing the truisms of life without flippancy or mawkishness. An example of the writing that captivated me:

“What we have inside always ends up expressing itself. We become who we are, beauty and youth only camouflage it for a time.”

“I used to measure how much I could trust a person by asking myself whether they would have been a collaborator in occupied France, but now my trial by fire is whether they would send me to a nursing home.”

“When you fall in love—she insists she’s not, that he’s just a lover and nothing more, a strong sign she probably is—the way you think about your object of desire never corresponds with reality, especially with regards to physical allure. How good it would be if we could only preserve this truth for the next time round, but love always returns the settings back to zero, and if we’re lucky, the next man that comes along will once again be the most handsome, sexy, smart, fun and amazing man in the world, even though he’s really a halfwit hunchback.”

“But I think I’d have fallen in love with Cadeques even if I had only stopped by one afternoon on my way somewhere else, even if I were from the other side of the world and shared no cultural baggage, no language, no memories, nothing else that tied me to the steep, craggy landscape and its cul-de-sac shoreline where the silky pink sunsets are whipped by a black wind to fade over the sea, where everything pushes you out toward the clouds and the sky.”

The pain of losing one’s parents, and especially one’s mother, can be overwhelming. Blanca looks for solace and understanding from the normal sources—sex, alcohol, irresponsibility. But it’s only when she is honest about her complicated relationship with her mother, and how that has affected her relationships with others, that she can begin to get back on her feet.

I enjoyed this book. The style of writing was different, but actually heightened by appreciation for the work. show less

"For some strange reason, I never considered what it would be like to be forty…And yet here I am. It's my mother's funeral, and if that's not enough, I'm forty…Illness evicted her from her throne so cruelly in the end, it completely destroyed her kingdom, and pretty much screwed us all up one way or another."

Cadaqués, a remote Spanish village, buffeted by savage winds, isolated by mountains, breathtaking sunrises and only accessible by a "hellish" road.

Bianca and her larger-than-life show more mother shared 40 years of love, laughter and fun; a life together that Bianca thought would never end. Throughout the years, they shared this zany life with a cadre of poets and free spirits drawn to her mother like a moth to the flame. These adults lived life to its fullest with her effervescent mother as the center of their world. And yet when the insidious creeping disease (Parkinson's) showed up progressively dimming her mind and froze her smile, the friends that couldn't live outside her shadow were nowhere to be found.

Most people go through the grieving process by reaching out for support from others or keeping themselves so busy there is no time for deep reflection. Some go to the opposite extreme by withdrawing from loved ones and friends; avoiding places that remind them of their lost loved one. And some act-out by engaging in what most people would consider dangerous or socially unacceptable behavior.

We find Bianca floundering in her grief. She is no longer someone's daughter. She doesn't know who her mother was in the end. Will she face the same fate? Question upon question fills her mind. She tries to mute her pain and confusion through frequent sex. Sex is "the only thing that momentarily alleviates the sting of death-and life-...is sex. It only lasts a few seconds, though..." (Some readers may be offended by the occasional use of the word f*** or the many references to her sexual escapades.)

She leaves Barcelona to return to her mother's house in Cadaqués on the Mediterranean. Cadaqués, a remote Spanish village, buffeted by savage winds, isolated by mountains, breathtaking sunrises and only accessible by a "hellish" road but to the adventurous and brave…paradise. Accompanying her are her two sons, two ex-husbands, and two best friends...and a married lover who sneaks in from time to time.

Surrounded by those that love her, she progresses through her bereavement..first numb and stunned then moving deeper through memories and reflection until finally she comes out the other side at peace. She comes to know that it is okay for her to become an adult without needing her mother's approval or guidance.

The last memory of her mother that she shares with us is perhaps the most poignant.
I still occasionally tell myself the story you told me once, when you [were] consoling me after my father died...A very powerful emperor gathered all his wise men and… said to them, "I want a short sentence that serves all possible circumstances." [Following] months of contemplation…"We have the phrase, sire. This too shall pass."

My personal thoughts? It was a great read on a rainy day. It is only 169 pages long. The descriptions of Spain and Cadaqués make me want to pack my travel bags. And I must admit it brought back some personally difficult moments as I sat by my mother's death bed; and it is true...This too shall pass. But it is never forgotten. show less

Blancas Mutter ist verstorben, die wohl der wichtigste Mensch in ihrem Leben war und Blanca zu dem Menschen 'machte', der sie heute ist. Nicht immer entwickeln sich aus solchen Erkenntnissen positive Gefühle, doch in diesem Fall entstand eine große Liebe. Blanca liebt ihre Mutter über alles und in den Tagen nach deren Tod ist sie ihr fast immer gegenwärtig, bei den unterschiedlichsten Gelegenheiten. Die Ich-Erzählung aus Blancas Perspektive habe ich wie einen Brief an die Mutter show more empfunden: Sie erzählt ihr von den Tagen nach der Beerdigung, wie sie sich versucht abzulenken und dennoch stets auf's Neue ihre Mutter in den Vordergrund rückt. Menschen, Orte, Gesten, Gefühle - immer wieder werden dadurch Erinnerungen hervorgerufen, denen Blanca sich hingibt. Voller Wehmut und Schmerz, aber auch mit Zärtlichkeit, Freude und voller Liebe. Dies mag nun Manchen allzu sehr nach Rosarot klingen, doch es gibt auch Rückblicke, die deutlich machen, dass die Mutter-Tochter-Beziehung nicht nur harmonisch war. Doch die Liebe überwiegt...
In diesem Buch gibt es so viele wunderbare und schöne Sätze, dass ich vermutlich ganze Wände damit tapezieren könnte ;-) Beispiele gefällig? Also: "Du hast mich so rigoros und nachhaltig gegen jede nicht spielerische Form von Unterwerfung erzogen, dass ich noch nicht einmal Feministin werden musste." oder "In deinen Augen rechtfertigte die Liebe eigentümliche Verhaltensweisen, die du unter allen anderen Umständen verurteilt hättest. Wenn ein Kellner ... dir die Suppe über's Kleid schüttete und du, eben dabei, dich zu beschweren, vom Maître erfuhrst, er sei verliebt ..., sahst du ihn wohlwollend an und sagtest: "Ach so, na dann..." Und aßest seelenruhig weiter in deinem suppendurchtränkten Rock." oder ""Leichtigkeit ist eine Form von Eleganz", sage ich, "leicht und fröhlich zu leben ist sauschwer." "Du verwechselst Leichtigkeit mit Schlendrian, Blanquita."" Vielleicht ist es das, was das Leben von Blanca und ihrer Familie ausmacht: Die Leichtigkeit und die Liebe, was sich auch in den noch immer sehr guten Beziehungen zu ihren Ex-Ehemännern zeigt, den Vätern ihrer beiden Söhne.
Doch es ist nicht nur die Liebe zum andern Geschlecht, sondern ganz allgemein die Liebe zum Leben, die Liebe an sich. Deutlich wird das besonders auf den letzten Seiten, wo Blanca ihrer Mutter eine wundervolle Dankesrede und Liebeserklärung schreibt, die alleine schon das ganze Buch lohnt. "Von dir habe ich die Liebe auf den ersten Blick als einzig mögliche Form, sich zu verlieben (du hattest recht), die Liebe zur Kunst, zu den Büchern, den Museen, zum Ballett, die Freigiebigkeit in Gelddingen, die großen Gesten in den passenden Momenten, die Rigorosität im Handeln und im Reden. Das völlige Fehlen von Schuldgefühlen und die Freiheit und die Verantwortlichkeit, die damit verbunden sind.... Du hast mir auch das irre Lachen geschenkt, die Freude am Leben, die völlige Hingabe, den Spaß an jedem Spiel, die Abneigung gegen alles, was in deinen Augen das Leben kleiner machte und einem die Luft nahm: Knauserigkeit, Mangel an Loyalität, Neid, Angst, Dummheit und Grausamkeit. Und den Sinn für Gerechtigkeit. Die Aufsässigkeit. Das überwältigende Erkennen von Glück in den Momenten, wenn man es in Händen hält und ehe es wieder davon fliegt.... Und die Grandezza, eine Fähigkeit, die Dinge zu benennen, sie zu sehen, eine aufrichtige Toleranz den Schwächen und Unzulänglichkeiten anderer Menschen gegenüber...".
Auch wenn das Hauptthema dieses Buches der Tod eines Menschen sein mag, ist es für mich viel mehr eine Hommage an das Leben und die Liebe. show less

This was an artful meditation on maternal loss. Situated in Spain using second person narration, Busquets invites readers in a month of her life after the death of her mother. Blanca, main character struggles with accepting and finalizing the loss of her mother. She spends a weekend surrounding herself with her closest friends, ex husbands and sons and her lover at her family summer home. She drinks, screws, smokes pot and fades in and out of coping with upsurging feelings regarding her show more mother. This process brings out dry humor, classism, and philosophy regarding aging, youth and dying. This is a heartfelt short work and deserves every star I gave it! Thank you Librarything for sending it my way! show less