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Carlton Mellick III

Author of Satan Burger

80+ Works 3,222 Members 112 Reviews 16 Favorited

About the Author

Image credit: Wikipedia user Avantpunkarmy

Series

Works by Carlton Mellick III

Satan Burger (2001) 404 copies, 4 reviews
The Haunted Vagina (2006) 229 copies, 17 reviews
Bizarro Starter Kit (orange) (2006) 159 copies, 4 reviews
The Baby Jesus Butt Plug (2004) 137 copies, 6 reviews
Razor Wire Pubic Hair (2003) 128 copies, 2 reviews
The Cannibals of Candyland (2009) 116 copies, 3 reviews
The Menstruating Mall (2005) 116 copies, 2 reviews
Apeshit (2008) 114 copies, 2 reviews
Zombies and Shit (2010) 90 copies, 6 reviews
Adolf in Wonderland (2007) 70 copies, 2 reviews
Quicksand House (2013) 70 copies, 4 reviews
Punk Land (2005) 65 copies
Electric Jesus Corpse (2002) 65 copies
Sausagey Santa (2006) 63 copies, 4 reviews
Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland (2009) 63 copies, 3 reviews
Ocean of Lard (2005) 57 copies, 1 review
War Slut (2006) 51 copies, 1 review
The Ultra Fuckers (2008) 48 copies, 1 review
Fishy-Fleshed (2004) 47 copies, 1 review
The Morbidly Obese Ninja (2011) 42 copies, 4 reviews
The Faggiest Vampire (2009) 42 copies, 3 reviews
The Steel Breakfast Era (2003) 40 copies
Crab Town (2011) 40 copies
Sea of the Patchwork Cats (2006) 38 copies, 3 reviews
Sweet Story (2014) 37 copies, 2 reviews
Christmas on Crack (2010) 36 copies, 2 reviews
Village of the Mermaids (2013) 35 copies, 1 review
I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter (2012) 35 copies, 1 review
Clusterfuck (2013) 33 copies, 1 review
Sunset With a Beard (2010) 33 copies
Cuddly Holocaust (2013) 33 copies
ClownFellas: Tales of the Bozo Family (2015) 30 copies, 5 reviews
Fantastic Orgy (2011) 24 copies, 2 reviews
The Terrible Thing That Happens (2016) 24 copies, 2 reviews
Stacking Doll (2018) 22 copies, 1 review
Tumor Fruit (2012) 22 copies
Neverday (2018) 20 copies, 1 review
Kill Ball (2012) 19 copies, 1 review
Mouse Trap (2019) 18 copies, 4 reviews
Teeth and Tongue Landscape (2006) 18 copies
Armadillo Fists (2011) 18 copies
The Big Meat (2017) 17 copies, 1 review
The Tick People (2014) 17 copies
The Egg Man (2008) 16 copies
Hungry Bug (2014) 16 copies
Bio Melt (2015) 15 copies
Exercise Bike (2017) 15 copies, 1 review
Spider Bunny (2017) 15 copies, 1 review
Cybernetrix (2008) 14 copies
Parasite Milk (2017) 14 copies, 1 review
Ugly Heaven (2012) 14 copies, 1 review
Hammer Wives (2013) 13 copies
Ugly Heaven, Beautiful Hell (2007) 13 copies
The Handsome Squirm (2012) 11 copies
Glass Children (2023) 9 copies
Snuggle Club (2020) 8 copies, 1 review
Full Metal Octopus (2021) 8 copies
The Bad Box (2020) 6 copies
Goblins on the Other Side (2022) 6 copies
Apeship (2024) 4 copies
Scorpion Ranch (2025) 2 copies
Red World 2 copies
Cancer-Cute 2 copies
warslut 1 copy
Kiss Fuck Marry Kill (2026) 1 copy
Bicho hambriento 1 copy, 1 review
test 1 copy

Associated Works

The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror: Sixteenth Annual Collection (2003) — Contributor — 240 copies, 2 reviews
Zombies: Encounters With the Hungry Dead (2009) — Contributor — 225 copies, 4 reviews
Werewolves and Shape Shifters (2010) — Contributor — 117 copies
Demons (2011) — Contributor — 72 copies, 1 review
Perverted by Language: Fiction Inspired by The Fall (2008) — Contributor — 47 copies
The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade (2012) — Contributor — 45 copies
Falling From the Sky (2007) — Contributor — 12 copies
13 ran (2012) — Contributor — 3 copies
Walrus Tales (2012) — Contributor — 2 copies
Bizarro Bazar — Contributor — 1 copy

Tagged

Common Knowledge

Canonical name
Mellick III, Carlton
Birthdate
1977-07-02
Gender
male
Education
Clarion West (2008)
Nationality
USA
Places of residence
Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Portland, Oregon, USA
Associated Place (for map)
USA

Members

Reviews

114 reviews
When I try to describe The Morbidly Obese Ninja by Carlton Mellick III, there is only word that accurately describes it: FUN! I had great fun reading it. You can tell that Mellick had fun writing it. It is simply pure fun!

The story is pretty straightforward. Basu is a seven hundred pound ninja in a world where corporate espionage is a matter of daily life and hostile takeovers are literally hostile and involve the assassination of company board members. He follows a strict code of ninja show more ethics and obedience to his masters, the executives of the company he works for. While pulling a job to steal a “piggy bank” containing corporate secrets of a rival firm, he discovers that he is not the only one after them, including a group led by an old ninja rival. Thus begins a game of cat-and-mouse (or ninja-and-ninja) to obtain the piggy bank and return it to their executives.

Heavily inspired by anime, in case you can't tell by the cover, the novel takes place in a future version of California which has been transformed into a psuedo-Japanese type of world. Cosmetic surgery to look like animals or anime characters is common place. In fact, cosmetic surgery to look like anime characters is so popular that they are considered a new race, called animese. Rather than basic weapons, the ninjas wield iKatanas, swords with vast electronic abilities in them that make them more like electronic Swiss army knives than simple swords. These are details scattered throughout the book, but they tend to be done in passing and do not become overbearing. Mellick focuses on the story and the character, and describes the people and places as necessary to paint a picture of the world in which the story takes place, but that is all. It's like some well-prepared food, where the spices are added to enhance the flavor but not overpower the food itself.

Why is Basu so morbidly obese and still a ninja? This is an integral part of the plot, so I won't spoil it. Suffice to say that there is a very good reason for it, and it doesn't glorify obesity at all, as some who don't read the book could possibly be concerned and complain about. In fact, while Basu has learned to use his obesity to his advantage in many ways, he also suffers from a number of physical problems as a direct result of his condition, which is not one that he chose.

If I have one complaint about The Morbidly Obese Njnja, it's that it's too short. The book felt like it could have been so much longer, with so much more to tell. The story could have been drawn out more, which is a rare complaint to make. It happens so fast, and I wanted to know more, have more action sequences, and I wanted a slightly more developed relationship between Basu and Chiya, the animese technician who works on his iKatana. I would have liked more history on Basu, and more history on the piggy bank itself. In short, I just wanted more. As a side note, I do like that Mellick does not go into how the world became the way it is, as usually things like that tend to detract from a story if it is too unbelievable, which it usually is. Mellick suspends disbelief by completely ignoring it, and in this case that method works wonderfully.

In the end, you wind up with a book that's got really great action sequences, interesting characters that could use a little more development than is given to them, and a straightforward and easy-to-follow plot that I would have liked to see stretched out a little more. But this book's strengths are so good that they overshadow its weaknesses very well. The Morbidly Obese Ninja is apparently the author's 31st publication, but it is only the first book of his this reviewer has read. It will not be the last one I read. If his other work is as fun as this book, there will good times ahead.

A very solid 4 out of 5 stars.
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Al empezar conocemos a Karl Lybeck y su rutina al despertarse, que termina en su parte favorita del día, el suicidio. Posteriormente, se nos presenta a la otra protagonista, January, que despierta sorprendida por cómo actúa su novio, que parece está intentado huir precipitadamente sin dar explicaciones. Pero January quiere saber qué está sucediendo y se embarca con él en una persecución en coche que acaba con ambos muertos. Sin embargo, January despierta de nuevo recordando todo lo show more acontecido.

Estupenda novela corta de ciencia ficción distópica de Carlton Mellick III, el gran abanderado de la literatura bizarra, con una historia que bebe de ‘Atrapado en el tiempo’ y ‘Al filo del mañana’, como bien indica el autor el la introducción.

Pero Carlton va más allá. Aquí no se repite el mismo día para un único personaje, sino para toda la humanidad. Hay personas que llevan reviviendo el mismo día cientos de años, e incluso miles, como Karl, aunque no recuerda nada. Están los durmientes, que todavía no se han percatado de que viven en el 17 de abril de 2017, y los despiertos, como January, que acaban de enterarse. Existe un centro de terapia para intentar ayudar a los recién despertados a sobrellevar la situación, y aquí el autor maneja ideas muy interesantes, ya que hay una embarazada de nueve meses que despierta siempre sabiendo que nunca conocerá a su bebé, siempre agotada y con sueño. O un hombre con resaca, que sufrirá durante todo el día. O un escritor, que nunca volverá a publicar un libro, aunque podría escribir en línea el libro cada día, ya que escritor y lectores no olvidan. Pero hay una advertencia, algo totalmente prohibido: bajo ningún concepto, nadie puede quedarse despierto para saber qué sucede al día siguiente y posteriores en lo que se ha dado en llamar el día de nunca jamás, Neverday.

Carlton Mellick III nos arrastra en una lectura trepidante, con giro tras giro tras giro. Nunca sabes que está por venir, y eso es muy divertido. El final es abrupto, pero no importa, el viaje vale la pena.
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‘Sweet Story’ es una novela corta que comienza como un cuento infantil inocente pero rápidamente se transforma en una historia bizarra y perturbadora, característica del estilo de Carlton Mellick III.

La trama gira en torno a Sally, una niña de nueve años que viste como si fuera de la época eduardiana y juega con muñecas parlantes. Un día, Sally encuentra el final de un arcoíris y un pirata del arcoíris le concede un deseo. Con la intención de hacer felices a todos los niños show more del mundo, especialmente a los pobres, Sally desea que llueva caramelos para siempre. Sin embargo, este deseo aparentemente inocente desencadena el apocalipsis.

En resumen, ‘Sweet Story’ es una lectura rápida, impactante y a menudo hilarante que demuestra la habilidad de Mellick para crear narrativas únicas y desafiantes. Es una excelente introducción al género bizarro y al trabajo de este autor para aquellos dispuestos a aventurarse en lo extraño y lo incómodo.
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‘The Haunted Vagina’ es una novela bizarra que desafía las convenciones literarias tradicionales. La premisa es tan absurda como sugerente: Steve, el protagonista, descubre que la vagina de su novia Stacy es un portal a otro mundo.

La trama se desarrolla cuando Steve decide explorar este extraño universo, adentrándose literalmente en el cuerpo de su pareja. Lo que encuentra allí es surrealista, ya que está poblada por esqueletos y seres gelatinosos con costumbres peculiares.

Mellick show more combina elementos de terror, ciencia ficción y fantasía para crear una historia única. A pesar de su premisa extravagante, la novela sorprende. El estilo de Mellick es directo y sin pretensiones, con toques de humor negro y situaciones grotescas. Sin embargo, bajo la superficie de lo bizarro, la novela explora temas más profundos sobre las relaciones y la identidad.

‘The Haunted Vagina’ no es para todos los gustos. Su contenido explícito y sus situaciones extremas pueden resultar perturbadoras para algunos lectores. No obstante, para aquellos dispuestos a adentrarse en lo extraño, ofrece una experiencia de lectura única y memorable.

En resumen, esta novela corta, mezcla de romance, horror y sátira, es un ejemplo destacado del género bizarro.
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Statistics

Works
80
Also by
10
Members
3,222
Popularity
#7,944
Rating
½ 3.7
Reviews
112
ISBNs
117
Languages
4
Favorited
16

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