Tommy Hays

[[Tommy Hayes]] [In the Family Way] is a small gem of quiet domestic fiction -- a boy has lost his brother and best friend, a family their second son -- the story starts a year or so afterward and moves toward the time of letting go and moving on. The story is a little uneven, stretching toward improbability once or twice or retreating from consequences, but there are far more absorbing passages that ring deep and true, when the family car breaks down up in the mountains, anything to do with show more the great aunt and uncle, Clem and Louise, the different and unaccountable ways people seek to assuage grief.... **** show less

Weavings in the bamboo forest.

This is a coming of age story set in North Carolina, US. It is narrated by twelve year old Grover Johnston, who is grieving the death of his mother in a recent car accident, for which he feels responsible - if he'd collected Fantastic Mister Fox from Videolife, it would never have happened.

Grover was always a bit of a loner, but after his mother's death he has retreated into himself and spends every waking moment in the nearby bamboo forest, where he weaves show more structures interlaced with twigs and leaves.
At first he made smaller weavings to decorate his mother's grave, but as time passed he found his weavings were becoming larger and larger, actually woven into the forest because they needed the support of living bamboo.
Grover's sister, Sudie, is two years younger and loves to help Grover with his weavings. Their father is coping with his grief by spending more and more time at work and they are left largely to their own devices.

When stakes appear around the bamboo forest, closely followed by sign boards advertising its sale, Grover is devastated that the one place where he can find solace might be taken from him.

While their father's old friend, Jessie, holds things together, with hot pot meals and support, another influence arrives in the shape of a family that moves in over the road. A mother and two children who have lost their father to war, gradually become more and more important in the lives of the Johnston family.

I was disappointed with this novel, the cover art is very dated and the book has a corresponding feel. I would not have been at all surprised if I had been told that this book was written in 1980. The title doesn't really sell itself either, being rather unmemorable. The narrative was very American, with frequent use of the phrase "y'all" and similar Americanisms. I cannot imagine this book appealing to the boys who I look after, maybe it would be better received by girls, even though the main character is a boy.

Many books have been written with children coming to terms with loss and in my opinion this is, sadly, not one of the better ones. show less

This is a story about a man whose wife has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. He is forced to place her in a care facility and must face living alone again, amongst all the reminders of his wife when she was younger and more able.

At the same time, his son (whose wife was killed in a car accident several years earlier) is going through some difficulties himself. In order to pursue an art fellowship, the son must leave the grandson with his grandfather for the summer. The old man and the show more young boy get to know each other and come to terms with their respective losses over the course of the summer.

I really liked this book quite a bit. I found the characters very realistic, and it resonated with me after watching my grandmother deteriorate with Alzheimer's. The main character is still in love with his wife, and finds it very hard as he loses her day by day.

Some may find this book a bit slow, as it's not really about "action". However, I found it a quick read, and it helped me relate to my elderly relatives as they face this terrible disease. show less

heard Tommy Hays at South Carolina Book Festival several years ago and he talked about his dad who had Alzheimer's. I bought the book as my mom was struggling with her memory. I now am my mom's caretaker. I appreciated the sensitivity that Hays used to deal with such a heartbreaking disease. I so understand about those moments of laughter and those times of tears.