Rachel Yoder

As a mom, I get this. I get it mostly. But I resent that this book is considered funny or humorous. It's not. It's bizarre and upsetting and uncomfortable and so much more. But it is not a laugh a minute. A mother to a toddler is convinced that she is turning into a dog. Her canines seem to be longer and sharper, she has a weird hairy patch on her neck and there appears to be a tail growing on the base of her spine. She tells her husband, but he tells her not too worry, it's all in her head. show more Then he goes on his merry way and is gone on work trips five nights of the week. The mother dubs herself, the nightbitch. She starts leaning in to her baser animal instincts, she has to do something to restore her sanity! She used to be an artist for crying out loud, now she is bossed about by her toddler and all she wants to do is sleep. So what if she starts nibbling raw meat, and so what if she and her boy take to howling at the moon. Bizarre, bizarre, bizarre. I get it and I don't. How on earth is this going to be a movie?! show less

The story of Nightbitch will be relatable to anyone who's been a mother or a parentified female, having to parent a tiny little human all by yourself. And sure you may be married, and your husband might make really good money that allows you the privilege of staying at home to raise the tiny human you made together, but that doesn't make the mandatory routines of night nights, bath times, cooking, cleaning, shopping for the household, dealing with tantrums, going to toddler activities in the show more neighborhood, and having to deal with other mothers who make being "mommy" their entire personality any easier.

I feel like this should be mandatory reading for any man who wants to have children. Yes, I said men, not women. Women will already know the struggle of having to raise children, especially in times where the titular village in the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child" is gone, so it's just you, your spouse who does the bare minimum at home because he's working, and his childcare skills are laughable in how lazy and incompetent he is! And then there's this tiny human who you love on a primal level because you know they're yours and literally came out of your body, forever being part of you, but you also hate all the routines they force you to go through, to the point of you wanting to die just to escape it all. Not to mention the isolation that comes with motherhood - giving up your job, your dreams, your ability to socialize with anyone who isn't another mom; forced to socialize with women who making being "mommy" their entire personality, countless eyes watching and judging your parenting skills when they're not trying to recruit you into an MLM so you can "have it all" and "be your own boss" and "unlock your true potential". It's a lesson more men need to learn, and the rambly style of narration is real. It's like talking to a friend 1 on 1 without a filter, even if that filter gets a little gory...

Motherhood can be traumatizing, depressing, and absolutely rage-inducing. And the book really does highlight that idea (especially as our unnamed mother protagonist gets more and more invested in her field guide on mythical women), because nature and modern society are built on the backs of mothers. Mothers who give up their own dreams and ambitions to raise the next generation. Mothers who we know we'd be useless and dead without, but are never truly appreciated, living severely undervalued in day-to-day modern society, but seemingly wild, and free, and magical in nature. There's a lot comparing and contrasting modern, human motherhood with animal motherhood, and then there are discussions of "magical women" in the field guide our protagonist reads - the book almost becoming her own personal bible as she tries to navigate motherhood and all of the changes she's going through.

From the very start of the book, she wonders if the changes to her body mean she's becoming a dog, and the magical realism is set to high in this story. You can really see this book one of two ways: a literal "stressed out mom is turning into a dog-shifter" story, or the more realistic, relatable and depressing scenario of a stressed out mom that's slowly going insane merely thinking she's turning into a dog due to the sheer stress of her situation:
- she's a mom who feels her husband doesn't appreciate anything she does
- she's been the 24/7 caretaker to their son since their son was born, while her husband works
- she gave up working in an art museum and hasn't made any art for herself since the birth of their son
- when her husband IS home and tries to handle childcare, he can't get their child to fall asleep to save his life, and bath time is him sitting on the toilet looking at his phone while their son plays in the water
- Hubby doesn't even know how to talk to her or ask her about her day, has the audacity to ask "why are we out of milk?" when she's busy doing a million other things to keep their household up and running and their child alive
- giving up her job means that she hasn't been involved in the art world for at least two years, has no current projects to shop around to different studios, so her art industry "friends" ignore her, treating her differently because they don't have children, or they have nannies to take care of their children while they continue to be in the art world as much as possible
- and forget trying to socialize with other moms! For her, that's a depressing thought, since all the mother neighborhood moms go to things like Tyke Hikes and Book Babies, and have nothing interesting or intelligent to say, because being "mommy" is their one personality trait

But then she also has to wonder, would she be happier if she just let everything go? Tried to enjoy Tyke Hikes and Book Babies? Agreed to sell herbs with the other moms in the neighborhood? Would it be better if she just forgot about art, and intelligence, and whoever she was before giving birth?

Her newfound dog instincts say otherwise.

And her dog instincts aren't simply a rejection of modern motherhood. It's this primal sense of self within her. It's "don't gaslight yourself into being one of those mommy moms", "don't give up on art", "you can have it all: the art, the baby, etc." - and it's embracing this dog-like side of herself that's improving her relationship with her son and making motherhood slightly more tolerable because now she and her son bond over doggy games, and she's less stressed out. But it's also really easy to get lost in this dog mindset... Again, it's ambiguous and pretty much up to the reader if the dog-shifting and transformation is literal or metaphorical. And if you see it as metaphorical and you see it as just a mother developing psychosis due to the stress of motherhood and living in a society that undervalues motherhood, and her feeling unfulfilled - the story can be outright depressing.

It really isn't for anyone, because this isn't meant to be a comedy whatsoever. It's meant to be raw and real, relatable and unfiltered, because being a mom can be that stressful when you're at the end of your rope and no one can offer meaningful help or connection. It's something a lot of moms, and girls who've been parentified in childhood are bound to relate to. And thanks to social media, there are moms from all generations sharing their experiences, offering advice, and sharing the overall sentiment that motherhood is hard, necessary, but severely underappreciated. A lesson that women know all to well, where men are severely lagging behind - giving rise to married single moms, and women who are happier being single, divorced moms, instead of being married to a person that feels like a second child.

It really makes you think, and the book really packs a punch the movie adaptation just couldn't. I've had the book on hold at my local library for over almost a year, watched the movie adaptation thinking it would fill the void, but the movie was so dull. Sanitized the concept way too much, adds a filter to a story that really shouldn't have a filter to it at all. The movie's magical realism falls flat and attempts to wrap up the story with a neat-ish little bow to provide a positive ending, but the book will really make you question life, reality, sanity, motherhood, the village in which we raise our children (or lackthereof), and maybe whether or not you want to be a mother yourself.

So skip the movie. Just go for the book. It's a raw and primal ride that will make you ponder society and instinct. show less

Nightbitch's magical realism caught me off-guard. I expected this to be more of a psychological thriller in terms of how it frames the main character believing she is turning into a dog. Rather, the book explores the power of the unexplainable and pursuit of truth in the face of societal pressure. It was a mixture of fascination and rage that kept me reading the book. Nightbitch's pursuit of a life that she finds meaningful is sympathetic to what I am seeking as someone entering adulthood show more after life changes that I did not expect. Her rage at societal expectations and standards of motherhood, explored very plainly in section one of the book, ignited rage in myself as a reader. This is one of the few books that I have had to step away from before continuing to read due to my own emotional response. Nightbitch is potent, be ready to explore your animalistic truths in reading this book. show less

Disillusioned with having voluntarily given up her career to be a SAHM, a mother starts to notice thick hair growing on the nape of her neck. Her teeth also seem sharper. And is that the beginnings of...a tail? She dubs herself Nightbitch and questions her own sanity as she feels the glorious, irresistible temptation to run on all fours into the night and smell all the smells.

Body horror aside, the sentiment of this book resonated with me as possibly no other book has, speaking as the parent show more who stayed home with a newborn because the other parent's job was more lucrative. Though I had a supportive husband, the monotony, the loneliness and the literal fantasizing about sleep is spot on and was nearly PTSD-inducing. I too had "idealized fantasies of motherhood" shattered by the reality of not enough mental capacity to coordinate and execute all of the many fun endeavors we would embark on (e.g., art projects, science experiments) on top of working and keeping a household afloat. This book will definitely make you uncomfortable, but it may also make you feel seen. show less