Con Riley

I knew this was going to be a rougher read than #1 was, but holy cow. But it's so good. I mean, if you have a heart, brace for having it wrung out, particularly by grief. But do read it. If you know anything about AA or rape or trauma or PTSD or loss, a lot of this story will resonate powerfully with you because the author did the work, but also, the imagery is lovely. Powerful. I will absolutely read another in this series, no question.

POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: Death of a long-time partner.
A year after the sudden death of his longtime partner, Ben, Theo Anderson is still grieving. The last thing he's looking for is a new lover. But as Theo soon discovers, sometimes life has other plans.
Losing a longtime partner, someone you've loved with all your heart, can't ever be easy. Even if we've never experienced it, we all understand this at least on an intellectual level, but to be confronted by it emotionally would be so much harder. show more Writing about it credibly, and with compassion, while keeping the readers' interest seems would be a challenge, but this author, Con Riley, has met fully with this book. Just be aware that it will leave you emotionally drained, but satisfied with the way things have turned out for Theo. The story is a slow burn, totally realistic, and illustrates the different stages of grieving and survivor's guilt at every step Theo takes.

Theo has lost more than his partner; he has lost his will to live. He goes through the motions, and he tells himself that this is "coping", but he has clearly completely shut down. His friends try to bring him back into the "land of the living", but Theo just can't deal with it. He tells himself that it's too early, but the truth is a complicated mixture of guilt, not knowing where to start, and a reluctance to even think about much less start another relationship to possibly face another loss. He knows won't survive it.

His and Ben's friends, Peter and Morgan are total opposites and finally confront Theo with some real choices he needs to make. Peter is all about the physical, but even just taking that step back into even touching a man is difficult to even imagine for Theo. Actually, there are not many emotions that he does feel would be easier for him to deal with. But, in the end, the question becomes something has got to work for him, but the question remains if it is going to ever be enough.

Morgan is the one man that Theo really feels attracted to on an intellectual level. They didn't meet until fairly late in the book, so their relationship has time to develop. When they do meet "all hell breaks loose"... in more ways than one. Dealing with his attraction to Morgan forces Theo to confront not just the need to say good-bye to Ben, but also to face some of his own preconceived ideas of what a relationship really should be.

One of the things that was truly amazing was how quickly and deeply the author got me into Theo's head and heart to actually feel those emotions with him. When he is torn between the two potential new love interests, even though he barely even acknowledges them as such initially, I felt torn as well. The gradual dawning of the solution, and the slow awakening of Theo's desire to live again were a real joy to watch. If you like realistic stories about men who deal with loss; if you enjoy the slow burn of a new romance; and if you are able to deal with grief as being a part of life and is a topic you may want to find out more about, you will probably like this novel. Just be aware there are parts that will break you apart. show less

The emotions that have surged through me during this novel! The giggle-snorts and the sad tears. I have journeyed with Theo after Ben, and I have seen what Theo saw, I have felt what Theo felt.

I have had all the emotions:
The aching after losing a loved one. (“For years he had bruised his nose, pressing it against the buzzer until Ben opened the door for him.”)
The excitement of tumbling around on the net, finding friends who are easier to deal with than your real life ones. (“Theo show more sat in his bed, pink cheeked, wide awake, and smiling.”)
The giggles as Theo tries to get his bearings again. Like when he watches the two interns meet on his street between interviews—the two who later fall in love with each other at his office. (“This was the most entertainment he’d had in… forever.”) Or: (“When the tall man looked up at Theo and winked, Theo walked right into a rack of shirts.”)
And then the love. The surging, all-encompassing feeling that just needs an outlet. The feeling that makes you race around the globe, running like the wind, to look deeply into a lover’s eyes and tell him that you are in love with him. *happy sigh*

I adore Morgan. Absolutely adore him. God, I love an intelligent man. A well-versed, confrontational, intellectual man. (“Pissed and amused was pure Morgan.”)
I love how Morgan connects with Theo on the net, how they play and live and have fun, without knowing who they are in real life. How those moments, at the end of the day, (and later also in the beginning of each day), become moments to live for, moments that make you NOT give up. Sheer brilliance. Made me cry huge, salty, happy and sad tears. Anyone who has suffered loss, and later, the revival of spirit, can relate to the words in this novel.

The parts of Italian family-life that emerge in a short section of this novel is so spot-on that I found myself giggling almost hysterically. Yes, I live in Italy. No, I am not Italian, so I look at this funny society a little bit from the outside. I love it, and Con Riley has captured the animus of a Milanese family so well it truly cracks me up. Oh, yes, Ben came from this crazy, incredible and loving place, for sure. His little brother Marco killed me with his happy-go-lucky (!) attitude and huge insight. Brilliant character, and lovingly described. As I sit here and write these words, I find I am wearing a wolfish grin from one ear to the other. Marco does that to me. (Con Riley, if it would please you, next time you are in Milan, the caffé in the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele is on me. I can also show you where to dig your heels in, for luck. On a bull’s balls, no less. No kidding.)

I am happy to know that there are more books coming in this series, as I feel lonely without Theo. So much so that I have started over from the beginning.
I would recommend this first novel in The Seattle Stories, to all who love to read about Love, in itself, for itself, wherever it came from and whomever may be involved; a must read for lovers of Love is Love as a concept. This is a finely tuned story about losing your life partner and about what comes next, when you try to live again, by yourself. It is heart-breaking and beautiful, and happy and funny. Con Riley has a witty language-streak and possesses true mastery of the English language, with very few typos/errors, for those who care about that sort of thing. (I know I do—yes, I’m slightly (ha!) OCD when it comes to these matters). I shall be following this author closely.

Here there be monster-emotions.

***

I was NOT asked to read this book by anyone. I did, however, receive it as a present, so for once I did not pay with my own money, as I usually do for all the books I read, all the music I listen to and the movies I watch. However, I would have bought this ebook if it hadn’t been given to me, and I am right now considering getting a printed copy, to put in my bookshelf. Yes, it is that good.

ETA: 18 August 2013—Just read this again, and the emotions are even greater.

This review can also be found on: My Fiction Nook show less

Jude is at sea when “His Horizon” begins. He has been searching for his parents. They were caught in a huge storm while on the trip of a lifetime and were lost at sea. He returns home to the pub his parents established that’s being run by his sister, Lou. But he finds a town he doesn’t even recognize anymore. Jude was once on a path to become a top chef in London, he was competing against his antagonistic colleague, Rob when he found out about his parents. There was a kiss… then show more Jude fled to find his parents without explanation.

When Jude returns to the pub, he finds the pub locked and Rob sleeping in the boathouse. There’s a long story about why Rob is there… but there sure is some drama as the three main characters struggle to figure it all out!

There are a few themes running through the book… it’s much more than a romance! That’s one of the things that I enjoy about Riley’s writing. I love the romance genre, but I love it even more when there’s some real substance to it.

People are missing in this book and that really brings up a lot for the characters. Riley does a great job of exploring how terrifying the thought of “giving up” on someone can be. When is someone missing “long enough”? When there’s no body, how do you even begin to come to terms with the fact that someone may not be returning home?

Jude isn’t open about his sexuality in the small town he comes from. He lives with some heavy emotions that are left over from the past. Riley really hits home with this part of the story… showing that relationships from out past can really leave a mark on us, change how we think, leave us with behaviour that is difficult to change. There are many reasons for not coming out in a small town, not the least of which is how our families may receive us. Sadly, Jude is haunted by his father’s reluctance to engage anyone who was gay. That’s a legacy that has stayed with him.

Speaking of fathers, there is also an unresolved relationship issue between Rob and his father. Rob’s father is very successful and has plans for Rob to take over his restaurants. That’s not what Rob wants, he doesn’t want gifts and money… he wants his father to be proud of him. There’s a lot of hurt feelings and misunderstandings between the two men.

The sexual relationship between Jude and Rob is sweet and very hot. They might be opposites, but the energy they put into disagreeing with one another translates well into a physical relationship.

Rob was definitely my favourite characters. He was lovely and complex… more so than you might think at the very beginning of the novel. His motivations were always quite lovely, even though the decisions and choices he makes throughout the novel weren’t the best at times. He was likeable and from the beginning I was rooting for him.

Riley is also great at world-building. The town of Porthperrin may not be real, but I’m familiar with the type of seaside town that is Jude’s home in this book. The pub atmosphere and the small town are perfectly described… and I could imagine myself being there. I loved it.

“You don’t talk, Jude. You’re quiet, so people fill in your silence. That means when you do speak, people listen.” – Rob “His Horizon”

This is a great book. It’s a good, solid romance with a lot of other things packed into the story. If you’re a fan of Riley’s other books I’m certain you will enjoy this one. show less