R.R. Haywood

Warning for SPOILERS and mentions of SUICIDE (in the book, not my own – it wasn’t that bad):

Despite its impeccable narration (I still can’t believe it was all one guy), the actual content of this audiobook is, to put it bluntly, bad – it’s unclear to me if there is a physical version, but I am certain that if there is, and I’d read that instead, it would have received one star.

The concept – specifically the setting – while not necessarily unique, is, at least, a cool one. I show more was excited to see it explored in a full-length book. To quickly explain: the worldship Humility is one of many immensely large spaceships (called worldships) that fled Earth due to an oncoming meteor, hoping to find a new planet to inhabit. Finally, after 120 years, they’ve found one, only the high-ups are considering keeping this a secret, instead going down alone, leaving behind the overpopulated and crime ridden working class “Elfor levels.” Or, in other words: Snowpiercer meets S5E2 of Doctor Who, The Beast Below, only with a run time of 13.9 hours.

Unfortunately, however, while Snowpiercer and The Beast Below are both able to utilise their incredibly interesting settings and plots despite their much shorter time frames – just 40 minutes in Doctor Who’s case – the Worldship Humility does not, even when given the full 13.9 hours.

The example of this that sticks out to me most is when Janey, one of four main characters, can be heard from a “Suicide Booth” – a place where suicidal people can essentially kill themselves – and Sven, another of our quartet, says (or something similar anyway – I’m not listening to this whole thing again): “We can hear her, that’s a design flaw.” To which I, simultaneously, said: "That’s convenient."

This is when it became undeniably clear to me that for this book, its provocative setting is just that: a setting. Despite it being the most compelling part of the story, it remains largely unexplored and undeveloped – so much so that something like a “suicide booth” is downplayed and ultimately useless to the wider plot. Would it not be so much more interesting to explore the context of a world in which suicide has been commercialised? And if you don’t agree with this (I’m talking to the writer here), then perhaps don’t include it in your story?

This scene also reveals another major issue I take with this book: the characters, namely Sven (though they all have their issues). In a later chapter we find out that Sven’s mother committed suicide, using this exact same booth – I have my thoughts on this too, but this review is already way too long.

However, in this scene, in which a friend is quite possibly about to die in the same way, he is the most unbothered of them all, the most relaxed, cracking jokes and seeming almost impossibly disinterested. Even the incredible (and I mean incredible) voice acting can’t make this character any less one note than he is. He’s the gruff older friend, nothing more. Everything the writer did to try and combat this was surface level – his debt, his work, his mother’s suicide – each one is mentioned briefly and then dropped just as quickly, never to return.

And this isn’t just a problem with Sven, most, if not all, of the characters have one thing going for them: Sam’s awkward, Yasmine hot-headed, Zhang Woo is a sex addict, and Janey is fat. Which only further cements the total misfire made in deciding not to correctly utilise the setting. Not only are we ignoring all the actually interesting elements of this book; we are doing so in favour of following the most whiny, insufferable and, worst of all, boring characters imaginable. Not to mention that they spend the majority of their time – and I’m being quite serious here – mucking around at a café.

Every time I think the plot is actually going to start, it stops itself, instead making us listen to these abysmally irritating characters plan a party or have a long, cringeworthy conversation about “wanking.” It feels like the things of actual substance are all just about to happen, as if we’re stuck in what should have been a two-minute flashback halfway through the actual plot. In fact, most of the actually interesting stuff appears to be happening off screen (off page? Out of ear shot? You know what I mean). For instance, included in the synopsis is this:

“The Gagarin [the ship looking for a new planet] returns with a code of information that suggests a habitable planet has been found. A few rogue captains want to keep the information to themselves and colonise the new planet. When Yasmine inadvertently steals the code, she and Sam become caught up in a dangerous game of murder, corruption and political wrangling.”

Except this barely happens, despite it reading here like the actual story. It gets mentioned every once in a while, for about two-minutes, before we’re back listening to the most insufferable people in the world who, when they’re done whining about everything, talk almost constantly about each other’s tits, bits and pits.

Speaking of which – why is everyone in this book so horny all the time? There’s a reference to or a joke about sex probably every third line, if you cut them all out you could slice this book in half. Sex is used both for plot and comedy (‘comedy’) and even then, both are pretty poor. The dramatic sex scenes are overdone and uncomfortable, the sex jokes are unfunny the first time, by the 100th they’re agonising. Again, I can’t emphasis enough how the only thing that makes this whole book at all tolerable – and still it’s borderline – is the narration. Big ups to that guy, I guess?

To sum up – the setting is underutilised, the plot we could have had is far more interesting than the dull and trivial one we got, and the characters are literally the worst.

Also, the constant perspective shifting is annoying and I hate it. show less

A little more up and down to the quality of the book for me. Howie finds the whisper of hope for his parents irresistible. One of the attractions so far is that humans are still trying and not descending into warring with each other--yet.

As Howie journeys back to his town, he ends up in a strip club, one of my least favorite scenes of the book. The porny scene with the club owner is absolutely bizarre and left me downrating the story for its illogic and voyeurism. If there was something show more Haywood was trying to say about how people chose to act at the end of the world, it could have been done so much better. Still, the return to Tesco and discovering David was a high point. I like the interactions between David and Howie, which give us a sense of David's more limited range, and Howie's care in talking with him.

Enough to go on with. show less

Delightfully basic. No super-soldiers. A night manager at the local Tesco has some extraordinary luck as the zombie apocalypse begins. It begins with a nice slice of life that humanizes our narrator, Howie. There's nice moments of fear, violence and humor to keep things moving.

"I inhale deeply and feel the nicotine receptors joining the party held by the sugar dudes in my brain."

This is novelette length, verging on short story, about worth the 99 cent price tag. While it doesn't end on a show more cliffhanger, it does end as Howie falls asleep, and each subsequent book follows suit. Told in first person, it stays in character without being excessively descriptive or focused on the 'how' of the crisis. show less

Let's start this review off with a big WOW! The Undead series is nothing short of amazing. I read the entire thing in a mere four days and was sad to see it end. It shocked me to find the series has yet to be picked up.

RR Haywood spins a tale of Mr. Howie, a night shift grocery worker as he fights off the wretched undead and meets some pretty awesome people along the way. Howie first teams up with Dave, a fellow co-worker at the store. Dave is a killing machine, methodical and devoid of show more social grace, it came as no shock when he revealed having Asbergers. His dry demeanor mixed with Howie's witty humor makes for some pretty deadpan comedy.

Joined by rookie soldiers Cookey, Blowers and Nick the comedy continues as they each dish out witty barbs. Each character is fully developed and believable. It's evident in the writing that a lot of thought went into creating them and the dynamic they bring to the group. Along the way, many more people are introduced. I won't go into their details, since that's the fun part about reading, but I will say they were each written just as well as the others.

Despite the never ending battle to survive, Howie and company continue in their mission to secure a safe haven for refugees. Destruction never ceasing to knock down their doors, the action is non-stop.

These aren't your garden variety zombies. They are a collective, pushed onward by an infection portrayed as an entity all it's own. The infection morphs and evolves in it's single minded goal to wipe out humanity. The undead aren't interested in eating its prey, it's only desire to spread the infection.

There are zombies of all shapes and sizes. Slow and lumbering, fast and vicious, thinking and plotting, seducing, vengeful...you name it, they've got it. The one thing they have in common is the red eyes. Lucky for the eyes or survivors would be completely fubar. The infection itself is original. It allows what could have ended up long and drawn out to keep me on the edge of my seat and never bored.

The Undead series is an ever changing, exciting work of fiction that will keep readers glued to the pages from start to finish. With it's terror, humor, unique story and likable characters, it is sure to be a huge hit with the masses.

Important note: This series is not for the feint of heart. In addition to the blood and guts, there is a lot of bad language (most of it pretty hilarious) and a few sexually explicit scenes that may be shocking to some. I appreciate the authors show of restraint as he did not harp on the uncomfortable moments. Oh, and spiders...lest we not forget the spiders. Haywoods description of poor Paula as she is stalked by an eight legged terror had me squirming in my seat and making noises of fear and disgust, followed promptly by a full body check and scan of my surroundings to ensure I, too, was not about to be attacked.

Visit www.bookie-monster.com to read my entire review. show less