Suzanne Stabile

My wife came home from church one day and said, “I want to take that Sunday School class on the Enneagram.” I’d heard of it, but I knew nothing about it. Over the next few weeks, she kept calling people numbers. “You’re a five.” or “I’m a six.” Intrigued, I decided to read this book to learn more about it.

I was – and still am – very cynical that human personality can be broken down accurately into nine parts. Even though the enneagram has ancient roots in Christian show more spirituality, the system seems somewhat contrived and arbitrary. Why must things combine in a set way? Why can’t they be some other way?

At its best, this book offers a language to communicate about concepts that make people’s personalities tick. At its best, the enneagram provides a lens through which to understand the people in our lives with compassion. At its worst, it’s just another reductionistic self-help program.

These concepts are all-the-rage in mainline Christian churches today. Some people treat all of this as incontrovertible gospel. In some ways, it’s the new Myers-Briggs psychology test, which was the new Jungian archetypes. It’s helpful to be exposed to, at the very least in order to learn the language. But there is more to life than personality as there is more to psychology than the almighty self. This book needs to teach us about others, not self-absorption, about love-of-neighbor instead of mere narcissism.

Therefore, I think this book is misnomered. The goal is not self-discovery. The goal is discovery of how to understand those closest to us. I know I thought of co-workers and family members as I read. I thought of how I could have handled situations and people better than I did. Yes, it taught me about myself, but that wasn’t the point. It taught me about them and how I can relate to their lives better. It didn’t teach me how I can be me better. It taught me how handle me so that I can love them better. show less

I tried reading this when it first came out but didn't really get into it until I recently heard the author speaking on a podcast, so I thought I'd check it out again. I like that she doesn't try to break down all the numbers again as she expects you to know yours already and instead talks about how your number can handle stress better. I also liked hearing about "stance" as I don't think it's mentioned as much in other books on the Enneagram. I still want someone to explain where this show more "ancient" wisdom came from considering apparently no one talked about it until the 1960s (I also really need someone non-Christian to explain to me why it's the only woo that the Christians will accept...), but I do still think the Enneagram is a great way to learn more about yourself and this book is a good addition for that. show less

I both enjoyed reading this and got a lot out of it. So far it’s done the best job of breaking down each type of the Enneagram for me to understand them. They’re explained in more real world ways (types as children and at work...), and I appreciated the steps to transformation for each type.

Finally, I realized that I’m very judgmental when it comes to Christian publishers, and I need to get over that. This was a lovely non-preachy book without the “Jesus stuff” I apparently show more expected, and I just need to read books without having a bias except whether I enjoy the read or don’t. show less

This is a pithy, but highly informative read about what motivates us. It gets at our dearest and darkest desires and how we can be our best selves, particularly if we are people of faith. When reading my section, I felt a shot of pain, but also great enlightenment. I will return to this again.