Lauren Bacall (1924–2014)

I found this book to be really heartbreaking, for more than one reason. It begins with the details of her early life, then how she broke into the Hollywood scene (playing into that whole "being discovered" thing that just doesn't seem to happen anymore), and meeting Humphrey Bogart. The description of Bogie's illness and death was truly heart wrenching. As Bacall only passed away recently, it must have been really difficult to live through all the changes in cancer treatment.

I think, show more though, that what saddened me the most about this book was how she genuinely seemed unable to be happy by or with herself and on her own. Granted, this first part of her memoirs was published in the late 1970s, but Bogie had been dead for over 20 years by that point, and she still connected her ultimate happiness to being in a relationship. I just found that...sad. Or perhaps poignant is a better way of looking at it. I realize I'm reading this almost 40 years after its original publication date, but I stand by my impression. For being such a strong woman, she didn't seem to believe in herself very much.

And of course the whole book seemed like an exercise in narcissism, but that's probably unavoidable given the topic (actress) and the format (autobiography). It was immensely readable, however, almost like reading her journals. There is (was?) a lot to admire about her as a person and an actress.

I also found out as I was reading this that Bacall was my grandmother's favorite actress, so it was especially bittersweet for me. show less

Lauren Bacall was a wonderful human. Her talent is undeniable as an actress, wife, mother, activist, caretaker, thinker, protector, helper, writer. While she’s now primarily remembered for her work as an actress, I was surprised at how personable and well-written By Myself and Then Some is. It reads like a Jewish grandmother sitting and telling you about her life. Wonderful.

Death fills the latter half of this book. The highs are high, but the lows are so deep. Bacall lived long enough to see show more many of her friends and family die, and it has a sobering effect. She mentions at the end of the book that you don't think about death when you're young. She's right. I don't. Maybe things change once you experience the first death of someone close to you. Maybe you see the world differently. Maybe that's what it takes. It seems she did.

Perhaps because of this, the pathos that Bacall views all people comes through. Her thoughts and opinions come through, but they’re always tempered with either her inherent understanding of others or the perspective of years. Maybe both. In her descriptions of her own life, she pulls no punches as far as I can tell, acknowledging her mistakes, but at the same time, owning them. She had affairs with married men, notably with Humphrey Bogart (in a few short months, her husband), and concedes that was not an ideal situation. But when two people meet and better each other in such a passionate way, surely that’s something to not throw away? So her life goes. I highly recommend it.

What I would have underlined if this wasn't a library book.

-It wasn’t good enough, I thought, to have someone crazy about you if you felt nothing.

- Each time I was in love - this was it. The hunger to belong. Imagination is the highest kite that can fly.

- It was hard growing up. (It’s still hard.)

- Was all life to be proving yourself over and over?

- I could tell him anything - dream my dreams aloud and he wouldn’t laugh…

- My name would be on everyone’s lips, my words would be immortal - what was I to do with the me that was buried below all that, with the me I was stuck with, that was real?

- There was no way Bogie and I could be in the same room without reaching for each other, and it wasn’t just physical. Physical was very strong, but it was everything-heads, beards, bodies, everything going at the same time.

- No one has ever written a romance better than we lived it.

- I don’t know how I did it, except that when you’re twenty, it never occurs to you that you can’t.

- It was as though my brain shifted gears when I saw him – I reactivated the better part of it.

- It takes so long to understand things, so much time wasted.

- I’d become attached… to London. I wished I had a proper reason to stay there – once you’ve lived in that city, it’s a hard place to leave.

- Why can’t we be better than we are? Why can’t we enrich our lives with appreciation of the arts, with books? Why can’t that all be at least as important as making money, having a bigger house, a newer car? …why don’t we take the time to see what is around us - the earth, the sea, the sky? show less

I enjoyed this book perhaps more than it warranted because it was written when Bacall was 70. I liked reading her take on growing old, on having adult children, on the inevitable losses.

Really a 3.5

I enjoyed listening to the audio book version of this book. Being narrated by Bacall herself, it felt more like I was enjoying a conversation with her instead of listening to someone brag about their life. It was amazing to get an inside look at her relationship to Humphrey Bogart (their relationship one of my favorite in Hollywood), was a lovely treat. Her thoughts and reflections on her own life and how things have changed were interesting and felt even more relevant now as show more well as 2004. The audiobook I listened to was the 25th anniversary of the original printing.

The only thing that made me knock stars off is in the update section, it felt Bacall dragged on and on about the people she had started to loose in her life. I understand it was a huge thing for her but she kept going on about how she's not the type to dwell on the past but it felt like there was a lot of dwelling happening.

It was nice for me to get to know Bacall outside of her Hollywood movies. I did not know she did so much theater work and her descriptions of some of her later films makes me want to go out and watch them.

All in all, this wasn't a bad memoir. I learned so much about the woman Bacall was and the wonderful life she led. It was wonderful to hear her voice again after her passing. The whole time I just wanted her to reach out and hug me. The reading she gave made it feel so intimate. show less