Aziz Ansari

I really enjoyed this well-researched, easy-to-read and fun book on modern dating. I experienced both the more traditional dating scene in in 1990s and the modern landscape in the 2010s: different experiences to be sure but lots of similar aspects as well. From my perspective, Ansari does a good job of capturing the similarities, differences, pitfalls and attractions of dating, especially in a modern era.
I also enjoyed how he showed the longevity of relationships and how they shift over show more time. There is definitely a lot to be learned, especially at a time where there is pressure to "live your best life" at all times.
The jokes are sometimes cringey but I definitely did laugh out loud, and they made the book all the more pleasurable to read.
I would definitely recommend it to anyone the dating scene and beyond, even if this book was already published 10 years ago. show less

Aziz Ansari teams up with sociologist Eric Klinenberg to explore love and marriage - what makes our "modern romance" in the age of texting and online dating different from generations before?

I mostly enjoyed reading this book. The humor sometimes fell a little flat, and I would've preferred a less comedic version of the same statistics. And I ultimately came away with a different take than Ansari did about his own findings: he concludes (and I'm not really giving anything away, I could see show more this throughout earlier chapters) that while maybe relationships have become more difficult now because we are looking for soulmates, we ultimately have a better chance of having the excitement of passionate love, and it's worth it. My take? I saw a parallel (that he doesn't draw in the text) between what he terms the "good enough" long-lasting marriages of yesteryear with the companionate (long-term, like family) love that grows even as passionate (excitement and like a drug of a new relationship) love wanes in a long-term relationship. While I have experienced the benefits of emerging adulthood (that time between moving out of your parents' house and settling down), and cultural acceptance of not marrying, and wouldn't say technology is all bad, either, I think that one of the downsides of having more potential dating options than "the girl next door" has made us less likely to be content in general. So, I ended up reading against his narrative a lot of the time even while I was taking in the information. Interesting, but not life-changing stuff. show less

from Laura:

Comedian Aziz Ansari and sociologist Eric Klinenberg explore the history of dating and courtship rituals in Modern Romance. Topics covered include online dating, marriage, texting, sexting, cheating, snooping, soul mates, monogamous vs. monogamish, and more. The pair conducted research all over the world and it was fun to hear about the different ways that other cultures define and pursue relationships.

Ansari's delivery is much like his stand-up: timely and topical, rapid-fire and show more a little abrasive, but not *too* crass, and of course, very funny. As a listener (rather than a reader), I was treated to some audiobook asides that made me laugh pretty hard. He performed some quotes from his focus groups with funny accents, something like: "I don't remember what she actually sounded like. I just imagined that she had a southern accent because she said 'tizzy.'" Also, "I've always wanted to use the word 'whopping' to describe a statistic, and I think we can all agree, that statistic? Is whopping."

"Firm takeaway from all our interviews with women is that most dudes out there are straight-up bozos." I enjoyed the subsequent liberal use of the word "bozo" throughout the book. Also, "bing-bong."

From the introduction:"This is the audiobook of my book, Modern Romance, and I'm gonna read it to you. God, you're so lazy! You don't have time to read it yourself, you want me to read it to you? Alright. Um, this should be fun! [pause] I wonder what you're doing right now. Are you like, curled up in bed with some tea by a fire...have you thrown this MP3 on? Ooooh...that sounds nice. Alright. Are you getting irritated that I haven't started the book yet? What if I spent another five minutes talking about how lazy you are for not actually reading the physical book? No, I'm not. Here we go."

I think this book is better enjoyed via audio than print, if you don't mind being occasionally berated by Aziz for listening to it rather than reading it. show less

This book surprised me. I expected it to be another memoir/biography/essay collection by a famous comedian/actor. I've read a lot of these and would have been satisfied. However, this book is actually a thoughtful and somewhat rigorous look at the experience of dating in the modern world.

How has technology changed the dating landscape? Does online dating services make it more difficult to find love? Are people happier now or less happy? And what does the rest of the world think about these show more issues? Using interviews and panels around the globe, Aziz tackles a complex issue with humor and thoughtfulness. I totally respect Aziz for choosing a topic for his book other than himself - although I would totally read that book too. show less