Esther Earl (1994–2010)

Esther (Persian for "star") Earl was a bright and talented, but very normal teenage girl who was diagnosed with thyroid cancer at the age of 12. Despite her declining health, she lived a hope-filled and generous life focused on loving and caring for others. She was a cheerful, positive and encouraging daughter, sister and friend. She passed away in 2010 at the age of 16, but she left her mark on this world despite leaving it much too soon.

This unique memoir is a collection of her journals, show more stories, letters, and sketches, with photographs, and essays written by her family and friends to help tell her story.

Even though this book is aimed at young adult readers, I am 51 years old, and I loved it! I am living with terminal cancer myself, and I wish I could do it with even half of the grace that Esther possessed. Even with our age differences, I could relate to so much of Esther's thoughts and feelings about living with terminal illness, and the roller coaster of emotions that it puts you through.

There are very sad moments in this book, of course, but overall, it's a very joyous book at the same time, a celebration of her life, a life well lived in such a short time; not for her accomplishments, but for how she cared for and loved others. Esther readily admits her flaws also, which makes you love her even more, because she was human.

I love this quote from the introduction to her story by author John Green (The Fault in Our Stars): "And most of all, she was a person, complete and complex. We have a habit of imagining the dying as fundamentally other from well. We hold them up as heroes and imagine they have reserves of strength forbidden to the rest of us. We tell ourselves that we will be inspired through the stories of their suffering- we will learn to be grateful for every day, or learn to be more empathetic, or whatever. These responses, while certainly well-intentioned, ultimately dehumanize the dying: Esther was uncommon not because she was sick, but because she was Esther, and she did not exist so that the rest of us could learn Important Lessons about Life."
I totally feel the same way, but I never knew how to put it into words, and I thank John Green for doing so. I also thank her friends and family for sharing their
"Star" with the rest of us.

(I'm sorry if this review is a long one, but this book just resonates with me so much!). I also loved reading about Esther's online community of friends, and how they were all there for her. I am very lucky also to have many wonderful online friends, and they are just as "real" as IRL (in real life) friends, even though a former friend of mine once told me they were not. And on that note, I have to quote John Green just one more time:
“I dislike the phrase 'Internet friends,' because it implies that people you know online aren't really your friends, that somehow the friendship is less real or meaningful to you because it happens through Skype or text messages. The measure of a friendship is not its physicality but its significance. Good friendships, online or off, urge us toward empathy; they give us comfort and also pull us out the prisons of our selves." show less

My sister died when I was a sophomore in high school. She was only a few years older than me and her battle with cancer took up much of her young life. Her loss left a hole in the hearts of my brothers and sisters that we still feel to this day. She was the bravest person I know and I truly believe that every ounce of bravery and compassion I have in my body I learned from her. I miss her terribly.

I was afraid to read this book. I read the introduction by John Green and started crying. 30 show more years after my sisters death it was still hard to think about it. I put the book down. Tonight I decided to read it and I am glad I did. Esther's words were powerful. Her bravery was astounding. Her words and story made me love and cherish my sister even more. I am not going to pretend like this book will cause some sort of epiphany. I also don't believe the loss of Esther or my sister or any of the people we have all lost in our lives will suddenly have meaning. Will suddenly be transformed into a happy ending. Nothing will replace the lost years. What the book did do was give me a chance to remember my sister's courage. My sister's love. This was a book worth reading. I thank Esther and her family for letting me share it. show less

A lot of people are really, really missing the point of this book. And that's an absolute shame. So let me set something straight here, because these overly positive reviews and these overly negative reviews are making me quite irate.

You're not supposed to read this book because Esther was some sort of god-child who loved all whom she crossed paths with, or parted oceans, or whatever.

You're not supposed to read this book because she "is" Green's Hazel.

You're not supposed to read this book show more because you pity Esther Earl.

You're not supposed to read this book because it's "brilliantly written" (let me tell you right off the bat - it's not).

This book is the documentation of a girl's life. A life that was tragically cut short. That is this books *entire purpose for being*. When you hold this book, you are holding somebody's life in your hands. I'm not saying that metaphorically. I'm saying that literally. And as the pages tick down, closer and closer to the spine, you're seeing the end of that life. This is what makes this book brilliant. Esther wasn't an amazing writer - she certainly had the seeds of becoming one, as seen in her short fiction stories at the end of the book, but you need to remember that she was practically a kid at the end of her life. Esther's story is, sadly enough, not so different from those of other children afflicted with terminal cancer.

But what sets Esther apart from other kids is that this book is, quite simply, her.

Look at your copy of TSWGO. You are literally holding Esther's life in your hands. Her memory continues because of your purchase or your rental. I know that it sounds like I'm repeating myself, and that's because I am. I need to drive this point into your head like a nail. Understand. Drink this in.

All of her childhood drawings, all of her innermost thoughts, this book is a raw, emotional journey through the life of a girl stricken with a terrible sickness. You can't get much more real than reality. This is the heart of the book. This is what makes the book worth reading.

Did TSWGO probably help TFIOS' sales? Probably. Does that mean John Green didn't legitimately care about Esther? God, no. I want to dispel that too, as I seem to be encountering this line of thought in the reviews. That is such a toxic way of thinking that it almost makes me sick.

"Yeah, but if she didn't meet John Green, this book would have never been published." And? What is your point? Does that somehow make this book any less poignant? Because it was backed by money?

I realize that this review has been me loosely rambling about the reviews of this book more than the book itself, and for that, I apologize. All I can really say is that it is a grave mistake to go into this book with pessimism, martyrism, or just plain doubt. You're not going to get a literary masterpiece, but you're going to get something very coarse and real, something that I think a lot of people would benefit from reading. show less

I knew Esther. Not as well as anyone in Catitude knew her, but we chatted in those BlogTV live shows back in the day. She was such an amazing person, and I was devastated when she passed. I love that this book exists, as it's a way for Esther's words and writing to live on and find new people to inspire.

Along with writings from her journals and blog posts, and even some transcripts from her videos, there are also stories from the Catitude members who knew her best, her friends and family, show more other great people that got to know her like the DeGeorge brothers and Andrew Slack, and even her doctor. And yes, John Green writes the introduction and shares his memories of Esther, but that's really only a potential draw for those who only know about Esther through her inspiration on The Fault in Our Stars. The rest of us, the Nerdfighters and the potential Nerdfighters out there, are drawn to Esther. John may have introduced many of us to her, but she had a light that was all her own.

I am so happy that the Earls put this book together. That we get to read Esther's unfortunately unfinished fiction along with her diary entries is such a treat. She was an amazing writer and would have gone far, I think.

This Star Will Never Go Out! show less