Ape's 2011 Challenge (7)

Prequel
Thread #1 (Book 1)
Thread #2 (Book 2)
Thread #3 (Books 3-5)
Thread #4 (Books 6-10)
Thread #5 (Books 11-13)
Thread #6 (Books 14-15)

Books Read: 22
Pages Read: 5,836

January:
1. Wave of Terror by Theodore Odrach
2. Southern Storm by Terri Blackstock
3. The Ten Thousand by Michael Curtis Ford
4. The Medical Detective by Sandra Hempel
5. Biohazard by Ken Alibek

February:
6. The Atlantic Sound by Cary Phillips
7. The Killers Within by Michael Shnayerson
8. The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway
9. Book of Clouds by Chloe Aridjis
10. Victorian Painting by Julian Treuherz

March:
11. Perdido Street Station by China Mieville
12. Zombie Haiku by Ryan Mecum
13. Vampire Haiku by Ryan Mecum
14. Gods and Legions by Micahel Curtis Ford
15. Day by Day Armageddon by J. L. Bourne

April
16. Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand by Dana Kollmann
17. Terror on Troll Mountain by M.D. Spenser
18. Plague by Edward Marriott
19. Where the Sky Ends by M. G. Stephens
20. What I Was by Meg Rosoff
21. I Am Zoe Handke by Eric Larsen
22. Leonardo da Vinci (DK Art Book)

Good evening Stephen !

Hi Stephen!

How did you manage to sneak into Canada to steal my brains? And can I have them back? They're kind of important.

Hello again. How's that diet of brains treating you?

Hi Cindy! *Waves*

Hi Micky! I bribed the border patrol with pancakes.

Hi Katie! It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. :P

sunned

Mmm, pancakes. So good. Especially with peanut butter and applesauce.

Kath: Ohhh, a sun instead of a star, I feel so special. ^_^

Micky: ... *jaw drops* ...peanut butter and applesauce? B-b-b-but you're Canadian, isn't it against the law to use anything except maple syrup?

16. Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand by Dana Killmann



Pages: 309
Rating: 2/5

Nonfiction: Memoir, Forensic Science

CSI CSI, CSI CSI CSI CSI. CSICSICSI.

Ok, sorry, I just needed to get that out. Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand is a book about forensic science. It is written by a 'crime lab lady' with a morbid sense of humor and a love for dead things. It's also glaringly marketed for fans of the TV show, CSI. The acronym is plastered all over the cover and even loudly proclaims fans of the show will love the book.

The funny part is, the author spends a whole chapter telling you how the real thing is nothing like the show, yet despite her seeming intention to distance herself from the inaccurate TV version of her job she frequently refers to it and other television programs in her text. I'm not really sure what she was going for here.

When I first got to know Dana through her book, I really liked her. She described how hard it was the be a female civilian trying to make it in the male-dominated world of police. I was cheering for her, I admired her fortitude and strength, and unwillingness to be intimidated. She seemed smart, funny, and strong, and I really appreciated what she went through to do what she loved.

Unfortunately, as she went on to describe some of the cases she dealt with over the years, I slowly began to hate her. She's snide and immature, there is no wit in her humor, and I found her mean-spirited commentary very off-putting and sometimes even offensive. I get the dark sense of humor, I like the stuff myself, and she needed it considering what she did for a living. And yes, she dealt with lots of bad people and saw lots of bad things. I don't care. That doesn't make her rude attitude acceptable in my book.

She's funny when she talks about herself. I guess because she doesn't have anyone but herself to be the butt of her jokes. The chapters about her schooling, her childhood, some of the mistakes she made or weird circumstances she found herself in, and the actual science were great. Technically the stories were interesting too. I just couldn't enjoy them when she was calling the fat man "front butt" or her repeated descriptions of how ugly certain women were. She just came off as a snotty, judgmental bitch. Sorry.

Ok, that review was longer than I intended, but I couldn't stop myself. I REALLY don't like that lady...she isn't an LT author is she!? *cowers*

hehe, the book's page doesn't have the LT author badge, so you might be safe. But how else would she learn? Someone has to point out the immature behaviour and things that aren't working in order for her to improve. Then again, I'm a blunt person. . . . so there may be a bias working

Don't cower for giving an honest opinion! I, for one, am glad you did - your first description made the books sound like something I"d love, but I"d hate to buy it to find out for myself that she's a snotty, judgmental bitch. Boo hiss.

Thumbs down for such horrible comments from the author. Hope your next read is better.

As for pancakes, I do like maple syrup every once in a while (although I like other pancake syrup just as well). But peanut butter and applesauce on pancakes is The Best.

*smooch!*

two weeks...

#9: I received that one as a SantaThing book 2+ years ago and still have yet to read it. I am sorry to see that you did not enjoy it more, Stephen. I guess I need to dig out my copy and see if I do.

Katie: Yes, but she's a forensic investigator. I don't want to get on her bad side. :P

Luxx: I personally wouldn't bother with it. There are other, better forensic books out there! I certainly wouldn't buy it. If you must, try a local library or something.

Micky: Okay...I won't alert the officials to your criminal behavior! ;)

Terri: *Shudders* What part of Ohio are you going to be in, anyway?

Stasia: It's a quick read. Even in my time-of-slow-reading, I finished the 300 pages in 4 days. And I know you like forensic science books, so I think you'll have a better appreciation for that. I know I'm the same way with microbiology, so...it can't hurt to try!

#16: it can't hurt to try

The same can be said for every book, right?

Stasia: Oh no no no, not true for me at all. It could definitely hurt to try romance novels. Especacially if I'm wearing tight pants.

#18: Well then, Stephen, I recommend you read romance novels in the buff :)

Oh sure, I can see myself trying to explain that one after someone barges in and catches me in the act.

At least I don't read on the subway. :P

#20: I thought you lived by yourself in a cave in the middle of Nowhere, Ohio? Who would be barging in on you?

LOL @ #21

So.. Terri is visiting you? cool!
I wanna come too!

Well if you ate my brains how am I to visit your new thread huh???

Thank goodness for back ups!

I will be in Dayton April 15-17 for the WGI Percussion World Championships. My son will be there and I am hoping to get to meet his new girlfriend. Plus I love drumlines. Even though the ticket prices this year are outrageous and I can only go to the finals in the evening instead of planting myself in the morning and watching all day.

So I have quite a bit of free time to go searching...

Stasia: So you want me to read a book naked in a cave? ...you've been reading too many romance novels! :P

Kath: No! She's in Ohio for something. I'm hiding. *Cries*

Valerie: Be sure to check the expiration dates on those back ups!

Terri: Oh, good, Dayton is way way way far away! >:P

But I have a car. And Ohio isn't that big...

But...ummm...all the miles are country miles...and...with all the hills, it takes ours to go nowhere at all! Yeah, definitely.

(Was that convincing?)

Stephen is reading romance novels naked in a cave? Think of the zombies!

If we're talking about zombie strippers (just google it) the pantslessness might still be necessary...

17. Terror on Troll Mountain by M.D. Spenser



Pages: 125
Rating: 3/5

Fiction: Horror, Children's

Oh sweet nostalgia. I loved this kind of stuff when I was a boy. It started with Goosebumps in elementary school. They were popular with the boys of that age, but I was a bit obsessive. I just had to have them all! It didn't take long, however, for the 'horror' in the books to become less scary and even at times a little silly. At that point, I turned to the Shivers series.

Shivers is a lot like Goosebumps, just by a different author, and intended for a slightly hardier audience. The books, while still intended for the elementary crowd, were much scarier and I have fond memories of being absolutely terrified while reading them. So maybe I was a bit morbid as a child...

Terror on Troll Mountain is about a boy from Chicago who is visiting his family in Italy. He is told of a folktale involving a giant troll called the Orco who eats children. It's only natural for him to explore the forest in mountains in search for it!

I won't say these books are fine YA/Children's literature, but I have fond memories of them and I enjoyed revisiting this childhood favorite.

Revisiting childhood favorites sounds like a good way to beat the reading funk, Stephen!

Definitely, Stasia. I loved that book as a kid, FOR THE COVER! :) Those Shivers books used to be sold in Dollar General for $1, and every time I went in there I always begged my mom to buy me one. She wouldn't every time, but every once in awhile I went home salivating over a brand new book.

I remember the day I got that one. Naturally I went straight to the Shivers book rack, I was just expecting to see the same old books, or perhaps a new one or two. I didn't really know, and then...I saw that one! *gasp* I HAD HAD HAD to have it. It was the coolest-looking book I had ever seen. I begged extra hard that day, and at first my mom said 'not this time.' But I begged and pleaded and promised to do all sorts of icky chores and whatnot and eventually she relented. :D

I remember riding in the car on the way home just staring at it. I couldn't even read it because if I opened it I wouldn't be able to see the cover anymore! :P

I've scanned it and cropped out a wallpaper-size picture of the art for my desktop. I tried to upload it but it's too big for my slow internet connection and I keep getting timed out.

Ah well, I couldn't upload the big desktop-sized one but here's a better picture of it than the one in the review post.

#24: I'm so disappointed that I can't make it. I'd love to meet you and your son (and, what the heck, his girlfriend too), and you *know* I love drumlines, but we're so busy right now with the move and the selling of the house and all that jazz. Sad.

Oh, and, Hi Stephen!

>34 Ape:: The cover of that one is enough to give me goosebumps shivers! I guess that's the point, right? Awesomely scary cover.

I also liked the cover (and title) of Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand. Too bad the book didn't deliver, but that's why we have LT - so that people like you can warn us away from the truly awful books. Not that I would ever read a forensic science book...but stranger things have happened.

I'm just going to sit in a corner and cover my eyes until the scary things are gone.

Stephen, I've really enjoyed how much you enjoyed reading and remembering Terror on Troll Mountain.

Just saying Hi on your new thread. I thought your honest explanation of your dislike for the "CSI" book was very courageous. Good for you!

Hi Amber! :P

Donna: Yep, that's what I'm here for, to warn people away from terrible books. Did I mention no one should ever ever ever ever ever read They Hunger? *Shudder cringe*

Micky: Good luck with that. The scary things don't leave my thread.

Thanks Pat. :) I need to re-read books more often, but there are just too many I haven't read...

Hi Angela! Thanks, I'm glad I didn't sound like a snotty, judgement asshole. :P

I'm glad of your review for Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand. I find forensics very interesting, but would have hated reading about someone who treated people rudely. Thanks for saving me!

Michelle: You're welcome! Have you read Death's Acre? It's written by the man who created the Body Farm. I don't know if you've heard of it or not, but it's a place where people can donate their bodies after death and William Bass and company let them decompose out in the open to see how different environmental factors effect how fast the bodies decompose.

It sounds gross, but it's quite fascinating. I gave that one 5 stars, actually. :)

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neat-O! Which show was that always did those types of experiments on poor pigs? Crossing Jordan, Bones?

I've heard of the Body Farm, but not Death's Acre. I will certainly look that one up. Thanks!

I know the episode of Bones for this week will include a visit to the Body Farm. Should be some gross fun.

Kath: Hehe, hey, someone has to do it. His research has made it easier for detectives to know how long ago someone died upon finding their body, based on how decomposed it is. It might sound gruesome, but the research has helped solve a lot of crimes! :)

Katie: I dunno, I saw one episode of one of those crime scene shows, laughed, and decided I'd never watch one again. It involved a someone decapitating another person and using their head as a bowling ball. *Rolls eyes*

And then I watched the one with the hot chick. Yeah, that's vague, I think it was NCIS...

Michelle: You're welcome! I can't compare it to other forensic science books because I've only read two, but you can't go wrong with the guy who created the body farm. :)

Micky: Neat! I'm almost considering watching it... ...probably won't though. :P

Yeah, I don't follow them, but when there's a marathon they somehow such you in o_0;

Oh, and my mother loves them. So sometimes they're on when I'm in the living room.

And I may have been thinking of Mythbusters. I know a fictitious show used them once or twice, but I may have blended the two together thinking there was one show that was overenthusiastic about chopping up little piggies.

I LOVE Mythbusters!! And yes, they regularly do odd things to pigs. The one where they let them decompose in the car to see if they could clean the car out enough to eliminate the smell was... ...interesting...

My favourite episode of Mythbusters was when they blew up the cement truck. *evil giggles at big explosion*

I am a Mythbusters fan too. Unfortunately I rarely can get to see it as my husband is not.

Mythbusters is great. They're almost always good for an explosion of some sort. And. . . . poor car. I was kind of sad that they couldn't get that smell out.

Micky: Oh yes, the cement truck was fun to watch disappear. :D

My favorite episodes are usually the more simpler ones, actually. The explosions and car crashes are fun to watch and all, but my favorites tend to the ones that answer common myths or where science is fully on display. Like the one that disproved that a static discharge could cause a gas station to explode, or when they showed how you could put your hand in a pot of liquid-hot metal.

There are two (maybe 3) reactions you can get out of me after a myth. "Huh..." or "Whoa!" Whoa is when there is a big explosion of some sort. Huh... is when I learn something interesting. I prefer Huh...:)

Stasia: Boo! C'mon, you're the wife, order him to do something time-consuming (mow the lawn or something like that) and watch it when he's busy! :)

Katie: Yes, I'm usually quite sad to see perfectly good cars get exploded when I'm in desperate need of one... D'oh!

He generally mows the lawns on Saturday when I am asleep. That approach is not going to work. Nice idea though!

I love the fragrance of freshly cut grass..

Stasia: Bah! Can't you command him to do the dishes, or dust, or...SOMETHING! :)

Kath: Definitely. Unfortunately I hate being the one that actually does the cutting! My mom always enjoyed living in places with GIANT HUGE MEGA-lawns. And guess who got to cut all the crap? I HATE big lawns. I plan to surround myself with as much concrete as possible for as long as I can.

*looks outside at the slowly melting snow and snow mold* Yeah I'd take the smell of fresh-cut grass right about now.

It's wonderfully warm and sunny here, neener neener!

(wanders in days late and wonders if there's a Cliffnotes version of Stephen's thread)

I'll definitely have to look for Terror on Troll Mountain! I mean, who wouldn't love trolls and mountains and being terrorized by them?? Sounds awesome. :)

#56: Obviously an unmarried man's comments. . .

Sara: It is awesome! I also have fond memories of Night of the Goat Boy, but when I started reading it I was spoiling my own memory of it because it was so bad. *Tries to forget the first 3 chapters and remember how 'good' the rest were*

Stasia: Perhaps. I would argue that those were the comments of a man-slave and a lazy man, but unmarried works too. :P

Man-slave? Where? :P

It's sunny and (relatively) warm here too. We just got a ton of snow this winter and it takes a while to melt. Of course, if I ship a bunch to Stephen...

Stephen- Big wave! Hope all is well in old Ohio!

Micky: Right here! *Raises hand* I might embrace equality in its purest form, but that doesn't stop me from obeying every command any woman ever mutters. D'oh!

You can ship all the snow you want so long as we don't get any of the cold temperatures. :)

Hey Mark! *Waves back* Well, the weather is nice at least! :)

Skimming again because there is no way that I can keep up with your threads. Next time I know you will be on your 8th or 9th or 100th? :)

Mythbusters is a cool show when I get the chance to watch it. I actually quite like the Discovery channel. Informative but also entertaining....well at least most of the time. :)

Skimming again because there is no way that I can keep up with your threads. Next time I know you will be on your 8th or 9th or 100th? :)

Mythbusters is a cool show when I get the chance to watch it. I actually quite like the Discovery channel. Informative but also entertaining....well at least most of the time. :)

I have this odd image of Stephen as a variation of Ella Enchanted which amuses me quite a bit. But don't worry, I WON'T order you about. I promise. ;)

And if I could ship cold temperatures I probably wouldn't bother with Ohio. I'm sure they could use them other places like the tropics. You know, just for a change.

Valerie: I like the Discovery channel too, although I no longer consider it 'educational.' What with shows like Dirty Jobs, American Choppers, Deadliest Catch, Swamp Loggers and all those other manly-man tough-guy-job shows, it's about as educational as MTV is musical. :P

Not that those shows are bad. I watch Dirty Jobs from time to time and I watched 1 season of Deadliest Catch and I find both fascinating! Just limited in their educational value.

Micky: This might come as a surprise, but I've never read Ella Enchanted, so I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult. :)

*puffs in slowly like a marathon runner crossing the finish line* I am a bad person... I am a bad person... I am a bad person... WHERE'S MY TIN FOIL SHEET?!

See, you knew I'd get here eventually! And I read EVERY SINGLE message I missed across the threads, so that's extra brownie points, right? And I added Day by Day Armageddon to my wishlist. :-)

Sorry you didn't like Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand though - I thought it'd be right up your street. But the author maketh the book... I guess you never heard the old 'doctor's notes' thing? About the abbreviations pissed-off doctors sometimes use in patient notes? My mum used to work at *undisclosed big hospital* and her favourite was 'PP' for a particularly stupid patient. It stood for 'Pumpkin Positive', aka 'If you shone a light in their ear their head would light up'... Hehe, I know it's bad but it's funny!

I started Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand last night, Stephen, and am about halfway through. I agree with you about some of her humor - I think she is simply trying to hard and perhaps that is part of the nature of the job, dehumanizing the victims.

Ellie! Glad you could catch up! I'm pretty certain that counts as a read-a-thon, so I think you won't have to worry about joining any of those for awhile! :)

Yes, Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand was right up my alley, but unfortunately the author ruined it...

And the abbreviations do sound hilarious! I'll have to keep my eye if I ever find myself in a hospital.

Stasia: Oh yes, I agree with the dehumanization of victims. Like I said in my review, she saw some horrible things and developing a coping mechanism (in her case, a dark sense of humor) was necessary. My problem is how she dehumanizes the living! She came off as very rude and disrespectful towards those she dealt with at crime scenes, and while I understand she had to deal with some unsavory people in some unsavory places, I was irked by her snobby attitude. Maybe it was just me though.

Happy Friday to you dear Stephen!

I'm already 71 posts behind on your new thread.

I enjoyed your review of Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand. I'll skip that one based on your comments regarding the author coming across as a snotty bitch.

I Googled some more medical slang for you:

CTD – Circling the Drain (patient expected to die soon)
LOBNH - Lights On But Nobody Home
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury
Digging for Worms – varicose vein surgery
Departure Lounge – geriatric ward
AALFD - Another A**hole Looking For Drugs
AGA - Acute Gravity Attack (fell over)
APTFRAN - Apply Pillow To Face, Repeat As Necessary (for annoying patient)
BFH - Brat From Hell
BTSOOM - Beats The Sh*t Out Of Me
Chocolate Hostage - constipated
CRAFT - Can’t Remember A F*cking Thing
Creepers - geriatrics using walkers and wheelchairs
Crop Rotation - Ambulance shuttle service from nursing home to surgery and back again

There's more coming - these are brilliant! :-D

Thanks for the laughs Ellie. It is yet another overcast, grey, dreary day here in Pennsylvania.

It is good to smile.

DILF - Doctor I'd Like to F***
Donorcycle - motorbike: the biggest cause of donated organs! (I can attest to that one, living near a road notorious for motorbike fatilities!)
DPS - Dumb Parent Syndrome
DUB - Damn Ugly Baby
ELFs - Evil Little F*ckers (irritating children)
Ego Boost Units - med students/junior doctors that follow a doctor
Faecal Encephalopathy - Sh*t for brains
Father Jack - (the drunken old priest in Father Ted), confused and elderly patient who constantly shouts and tries to get out of bed
FFDIG - Found Face Down In Gutter
Finger Wave - rectal exam
GOLP - Generalised Old Lady Pains
Gone Camping - patient in oxygen tent
Go to Ground - fall out of bed or chair
GRAFOB - Grim Reaper At Foot Of Bed
GROLIES - (UK) Guardian Reader Of Low Intellect In Ethnic Skirt

Hehe, so much more of the alphabet still to laugh at... Actually, some of these would apply very well to my customers too, perhaps I should start my own list!

Head Bonk - an otherwise uninjured patient who was struck on the head and presented at A&E just to be sure
HIVI - Husband Is Village Idiot
HMF - Hysterical Mother Figure
House red - blood
Incarceritis - becoming dubiously ill when arrested or in court
Lancelot - a medic who drains abscesses (called Pokemon in the USA)
LFTWM - Looking for 3 Wise Men (applied to young pregnant females who deny having had intercourse)
Loop-the-loop - flamboyant surgical rearrangement of the intestines.
Matern-a-taxi - when a pregnant woman calls an ambulance because the contractions are every 2 minutes, but she doesn't have a single contraction during a 30 minute journey to hospital
OBE - Open Both Ends (Diarrhoea and Vomiting)

OPD - Obnoxious Personality Disorder
Ostrich Treatment - pretend it's not there and hope it goes away
Pecker Checker - either a urologist or a sexual diseases doctor
PHALS - Post-Harmless Accident Lawsuit Syndrome
Post-Weekend Fatigue Syndrome - an ailment which presents at GP surgeries on Monday mornings
Q-Tip - White-haired elderly person
Rectoencephalitis - head-up-own-a** syndrome
Road Map - injuries incurred by going through a car windshield face first
SHS - Sullen, Hostile, Stupid
Speed bumps - haemorrhoids
Spin the Patient - CT scan

Spots and dots - traditional set of childhood diseases - measles, mumps, and chicken pox
Stage Mother - person accompanying patient and encouraging patient to exaggerate the complaint (often to obtain a particular diagnosis or to get an unnecessary prescription)
Stream team - urology dept
Toaster - defibrillator
TSL - Too Stupid to Live
TSS - Toxic Sock Syndrome (often related to homeless)
TUBE - Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination
RWSAM - Roach, Will Survive And Multiply
UPF - Un-Passed Fart (gaseous distended abdomen)
Urban Outdoorsman - Homeless person
Velcro - Family or friends accompanying patient everywhere
Viaggravation - what a doctor gets from a patient who is demanding erectile dysfunction medication on the NHS
VTMK - Voice To Melt Knickers (the voice deliberately cultivated by some doctors)

Okay, last one I swear - this is a Veterinary Acronyms thing:

VETERINARY ACRONYMS

Agroceryosis - lack of groceries i.e. owner hasn't been feeding the animal
BDLDLDL big dog, little dog, little dog lost (usually Chihuahuas that try to fight a German Shepherd)
BSBF - buy small bags of food (almost dead)
CFT - chronic food toxicity i.e. obese
CSTO - Cat Smarter Than Owner
DIC - dead in cage or death is coming
DSTO - Dog Smarter Than Owner
PU - paws up (dead)

*sighs* Well, that's taken me right through to going-home time! Now, I just need someone to swoop in with a zombie picture and I think we're done.

Ahhhh, the power of idle Googlage...

Stephen, your thread's gotten awful educational these days. What happened to jello brains?

As for Ella Enchanted, I have to admit I haven't read it either, only watched the film. But the gist is that Ella is compelled by a gift from her fairy godmother to do anything she's told to do.

fun zombie site

I think there is/was a zombie book in this batch of ER books...needless to say, I thought of you. ;)

Linda! It's always nice to see you. :)

Ellie: ROFL! Yep, I think I fall under a few of those categories. :) And Toxic Sock Syndrome made me laugh. *cackles*

Micky: My thread can be very educational, although it's usually educational about things you don't want to be educated about...

Katie: Yippee for zombie sites!

Angela: Awwww, thanks... :P

Shyanne had an adventure today. I was in the living room and I kept hearing knocking noises under the house. I figured it was Shyanne and I wasn't too concerned but it kept happening, so I grabbed a flashlight and check under the house and what do I find?

...nothing...

Perplexed, I sat there a couple minutes flipping the flashlight around when I heard her whining.

She had crawled into a hole in the insulation and was stuck...and she had been there for awhile, I assume.

I panicked. :(

I crawled to the hole (not an easy task, there was a lot of room and I nearly wedged myself into the 'stuck' position a few times) and tried to coax her out. I did this for a good 15 minutes, and I could hear her whining and moving the entire time but I couldn't see her.

I didn't know what to do, I flipped the flashlight off and stopped calling her name and listened, and realized she had stopped making noise. I was thinking the worst, because she eats EVERYTHING and all I could think was that she ate a throat-full of insulation.

So I sighed, turned around to get out and travel to the nearest telephone, and what do I see? Shyanne's head sticking in the hole I used to get under the house, with a stupid grin on her face and her tail a-wagging. There was a solid 5 seconds of stunned silence, and then I uttered my first words upon seeing her:

YOU BITCH!

I meant it in a loving way, of course. There was lots of companionable patting and sighs of relief...but I have no idea she sat there and stared at me. Must've been the several minutes I didn't hear anything from her. I guess I'm going to have to figure a way to keep her from getting under there now.

Silly puppy! She certainly keeps you on your toes, doesn't she?

Hi Rachel! Yep, she's definitely been that type of dog. :)

I finished a book today too. I'll post a review tomorrow morning, before I head off to the library.

Did I mention there were chickens on my roof this morning?

Very weird day...

Why, do our pets like to make us look silly? 8-)

Sounds like you did have a weird day, Stephen!

I finished Never Suck a Dead Man's Hand this evening. IMHO the second half of the book really does go downhill. I will not be keeping this one in my permanent collection.

One Week.

Two Weeks. Sorry, I have no idea what that means, I just thought I'd join in!

Haha, sounds like Shyanne bested you good and proper Stephen! At least she didn't go and fetch all her friends to come and have a good laugh... :-)

Ellie, I think it is how long of a time before Terri is heading to Ohio (and hopefully, tracking down Stephen while she is there!)

Cindy: They are just demonstrating who is really in control!

Stasia: Yeah, it was the same way with me. I'd have easily given the first half a 4-star rating...but the second half was terrible.

Terri: *Shudders*

Ellie: What Stasia said. Terri is coming to Ohio for a festival in Dayton, which is WAY WAY WAY WAY far away from me (actually, it isn't...) and she keeps trying to give me nightmares with her threats of tracking me down. I'm not *gulp shudder* scared! ...

Review and random numbers coming up!

18. Plague: A Story of Rivalry, Science, and the Scourge That Won't Go Away by Edward Marriott



Pages: 282
Rating: 3/5

Nonfiction: History, Science - Disease (Plague)


Plague. There is a lot of books on the stuff. In fact, trying to link to this book on the forums using touchstones is quite difficult, considering the countless other books with the same name. Many of the books use plague as a blanket term to describe a disease in general, however. This, of course, is a testament to how deeply-rooted our fear of plague has become, that its name can be used to describe any disease that causes widespread destruction. It has wreaked a lot of havoc in the past, and the mere mention of its name has come to signify terror.

Edward Marriott's Plague focuses on two outbreaks a century apart, 1894 Hong Kong and 1994 Surat. I found this going back and forth a bit confusing as I sometimes didn't realize which time period I was reading from, but then I realized how scary that was, that I couldn't tell the difference between a plague outbreak in the 1800's and one from less than 20 years ago.

The book also focuses on the rivalry between Alexandre Yersin and Shibasaburo Kitasato. Both were in Hong Kong in 1894 trying to solve the same riddle of plague, but both had entirely different experiences. Kitasato was the local hero, who had anything he wanted and the support of the public. Yersin on the other hand, was rejected, restricted, and forced to work in a straw hut in horrible conditions. Not that it mattered, there is a reason plague is known as Yersinia Pestis today.

Plague is a perfectly decent book. It's a little all over the place and I sometimes felt the author couldn't decide where he wanted to go with his book, and in the end I felt like there was a little something missing. It left me with that vague, slightly-unsatisfied feeling. I can't find a whole lot to complain about but I find a good reason to praise it either. It's just okay.

And finally, here are my randomly generated numbers. I wasn't sure if I was going to do it this library trip because of my book semi-funk, but I've been reading more regularly lately and I figure, at worst, I can simply not read what I pick. Soooo, here are the numbers.

Nonfiction: 36
Fiction: 16, 9

So that's "Social Sciences - Social Services" (360-369) for nonfiction and Pi for fiction. :)

Ohhh, yeah, I should have remembered that Terri's a-comin'... Y'know, to Ohio. To find you. Taking the state one house at a time. Aided by ninja spies. *catches Stephen as he keels over*

Still, by joining in gamely I just inadvertently doubled your preparation time, so I wouldn't complain too much! ;-)

#93: I think I will give that one a pass. After a couple of duds in a row, you are due for a real winner any day now, Stephen!

Ellie: Richard already has Ninja Spies tracking me, and if Terri's are anything like Richard's...umm...I don't think I mind much. :D

Stasia: It wasn't terrible, there was some memorable stuff in the book and the compitition between Yersin and Kitasata was interesting...but yes, definitely not a must read.

I'm back from the library, and here are my randomly generated book choices!

Fiction: The Night Class by Tom Piccirilli
Nonfiction: Where the Sky Ends by M.G. Stephens (362.292)

I'm not sure if I'll read the Piccirilli book. I read A Choir of Ill Children years ago and loved it, it was a terrific atmospheric horror novel, but it's a little big and if the funk re-emerges, I'm not sure if I'll be up to it. Although, one of the books I checked out is a part of a series and needs to be returned (The Afghan Campaign) so I might have plenty of time for it.

Hope you had a nice time at the liberry! Your favourite place... :-)

I'm not sure if Terri's ninja spies are the same as Richard's - maybe you could ask her when she arrives on your doorstep so you'll know for future reference? *cackles gleefully* ;-)

Oh...dear...

I just went to The Night Class' page and saw "the other cover."

*ahem*

I just want it to be known that I have this one, not...ummm...the other one. :P

Ellie: Not listening!

>84 Ape:: Hi Stephen, loved the latest Shyanne story. We took our (overweight Lab) Lucky with us to Texas over New Year's week-end because we couldn't get a dog sitter. He gets very nervous when he's away from his nest. I woke up during the night to an undulating bed and a whimpering dog. You guessed it. Fat Lab stuck under the bed. (FLSUB - with a nod to Ellie's acronyms upthread). I was not amused but at least it was an easy fix.

I'm glad to see you're still reading randomly. I think that's a great idea - for YOU! I thought of you when I did my nightly reading in my latest book. It is fiction based on the cholera outbreak in England in 1831. That's sort of up your alley, but the part that made me think of you (for some reason) is the doctor looking for bodies (dead ones) to further his anatomy research. I'm calling it "gothic horror" right now at the halfway point. Oh yeah, the title: The Dress Lodger by Sheri Holman.

Oh yes, Donna, I do love me a good cholera outbreak in Victorian London, I do. I've read a couple books on John Snow, which is about 20 years after that outbreak, but I do find the time period and their problems with disease control fascinating!

As for the dead bodies...RIGHT! Yes...ahem...it's all for anatomy research, definitely... *Evil laugh*

I'm sure my ninja spies are NOT the same as Richards. Remember, I got custody of the naked dancing boys...

I can't imagine men dancing around naked would make for very good spies...or ninjas, for that matter! :P

. . . . unless they have an amazing camouflage paint job

Maybe they're stealth naked dancing boys. They're all ninja when they hunt you down but once they find you they strip and dance, drawing much attention to your location. :O

My browser pooped out on me again. :/ And I can't remember what I typed. Oh well. Hope you enjoy your Tale of Two Moons . . . or Night Ass or whatever it was called. :P

I thought they were being sent out in pairs of girls who mysteriously get lost and "randomly" stop by your house to ask for directions - no? Are you sure?

And Terri, I know he's in the country and everything, but didja notice two more clues upthread? Look for a smallish hole that goes under a house and that may or may not have a flock of rabid chickens on or near it. That should help narrow down your search a leeeetle bit.

Morning Stephen! How are you? I'm still trying to thong it up around here, but I'm starting to lose it (more than before, it's kinda scary) and I'm using LT as a distraction from the reading that I really want to be doing but I'm not because I've been awake for 20+ hours and I keep thinking that someone is shooting someone outside but really some moron is randomly shooting off fireworks in a parking lot close to my house. Yep. True story.

Okay, gonna go spread around some more crazy unless I decide to step away from this machine and plonk my butt down to read.

Maybe I should make some tea? Or OOOH! I still have coleslaw! Maybe I'll eat some of that. Coleslaw sounds good. Nom nom nom... do you ever read "cozies" Stephen? I'm reading one now and it's okay but I'm not in luuurve with it like my Mom wants me to be. Have you ever had chicken and waffles before? It sounds kinda weird at first, but I bet it's good.

Okkkkkay... The crazies are everywhere right now! I love your sleepy messages Laura, they're very much like Katie's, which is scary for you but deeply entertaining for the rest of us! :P

Katie: Okay, that's officially totally creepy! Why is she smiling? Is it typical for women to enjoy this activity? If I dress in camo and then jump out of hiding and ambush women with hugs, will they react similarly? Hmmm...

Micky: Oh dear! You should be a horror writer...that's terrifying!

Sara: Night Ass!! *cackles* Yes, I definitely don't have the copy with THAT cover. XD

Laura: Ha! Nope, the chickens are gone and the hole is behind the house, so you got nothing on me! I see you are doing well with you readathong. Great job!

It probably depends on your definition of 'cozies.' I mean, plague, ebola, smallpox, and cholera don't fit under the category? :P

I've never had chicken and waffles, but it sounds like a perfectly suitable combination. Problem is, I think it's usually fried chicken, and I'm not huge on fried chicken. Don't get me wrong, it's good and it's not that I don't like it...I just don't get all that excited by it. *shrug*

Ellie: She definitely gets chatty, doesn't she? :P

Stephen: It depends on the girl and if they actually like hugs. Or maybe it's just the reaction that keeps her sane? 'Ah, random word-camouflage-dude hugging me. . . let's just smile and laugh until it stops, then walk away slowly'.

Ellie: Crazy and sleep deprived is the best time to post. And it does seem somewhat like mine. Let's see if she gets (music video) link happy like I do :P

If I could've figured out a way to do it while crazy, I'm sure you all would have been sick of me posting clips from Will & Grace, Peep Show, The Golden Girls, and then some oldie-but-goodie stuff from Britney Spears, NSync, etc. Yep, that's how I roll.

I fear some residual crazy may pop up later on today due to sleep-deprivation, so there's always more to look forward to. Glad I'm entertaining while losing it!

Haha! And people always laugh hysterically when I tell them I'm terrifying.

Katie: ...does that work for fondling too? :P

Laura: Oh no, don't refer to those people as 'oldies,' you'll make me feel old or something! Britney Spears and NSync are...ummm... "Slightly-aged-modern-pop!" Yes, that's it.

Micky: Can't imagine why they would laugh hysterically... *laughs nervously...*

Totally weird thing happened today when I was reading. I was sitting there just reading my book, and out of nowhere I had this extreme craving for McDonald's fries. I could literally SMELL them, and I had to pause for a minute because all I could think of was fries. I naturally thought of how fast food is intended to be addictive and how you can get those sudden, random cravings. I don't know, but for a few seconds there I NEEDED McDonald's fries...

Well anyway, I ignored and and pressed on, and after I flipped a page and read a couple paragraphs, guess what I see? "I was eating McDonald's fries..."

Eerie coincidence!!!

. . . that would probably earn you a slap.

McD's fries... yum! And clearly literary.

Oh my gawd, I could just eat some McDonalds fries! Way to spread the craving there, Stephen... I had a book for one of my uni modules that smelled of Hula Hoops (do you have those in America?) - I got through a fair few packets while I was reading it! To clarify, this was a new book, not some second-hand cast-off that had already seen its fair share of Hula Hoop-munching students...

Katie: ...darn!

Kath: It is rather literary. The guy wrote the word "tchotchkes" in his book. Literary, indeed. :P

I've never seen Hula Hoops here, but I remember you mentioning them on your thread and googling to see what they were.

McDonald's ruined regular cheeseburgers for me. Their burgers are...okay...but not great. But I had their BBQ/bacon angus burger...ummm thing, IT WAS DELICIOUS! And now I can't eat a cheeseburger with ketchup. BBQ sauce only for me now!

Love the Shyanne story! Yet another story that proves animals love to mess with our heads.

Didn't you just post a photo of your first car here somewhere? The car that's still in your driveway? Couldn't Terri search for you that way?? Sorry, Stephen, I couldn't resist. ;)

:P~~~~~~~~~~~~

BBQ sauce is yuck

Angela: Huh? What? Nope, I have no idea what you're talking about... *laughs nervously*

Kath: !?!?!?

Gotta say, I'm not a fan of anything from MickeyD's. Although I have been fighting a french fry craving for over a week. Thanks for bringing that back. :P

Micky: I know what you mean about not liking the food, but fast-food fries are always good! :)

19. Where the Sky Ends by M. G. Stephens



Pages: 170
Rating: 4/5

Nonfiction: Memoir - Addiction

Having grown up in a large family with 8 siblings, in a house filled with so many people it was hard to be noticed in the crowd, with an alcoholic father who gets in fist fights with his sons at least once before they move away, Michael Stephens did what many people would. He turned to drugs and alcohol. However, this isn't some unique circumstance or some isolated incident that would become the family scandal. No, it seems many of his siblings turned to the same devices. Apparently in Stephens' family, alcoholism is hereditary.

Where the Sky Ends isn't necessarily about the drugs and alcohol specifically, though. Throughout most of the book he only briefly alludes to his previous addictions, and his years of sobriety. This is more of a family history, the damaging effects alcoholism has had on his family and his relationship with his father, and the his struggles understanding his own feelings about his father's death - the man he never loved or felt connected to, but also the man he has come to parallel in so many ways.

Where the Sky Ends might be 'just another book on alcoholism.' It's a terrible and far too common disease, and likewise there are plenty of memoirs out there discussing it. I can't compare it to others, I don't know if there is anything about it that makes it stand out from the crowd, and I can't say that it is some eye-opening book filled with so much insight and enlightenment. All I can say is I enjoyed reading the book, and I'm glad I came across it.

>124 Ape: Doesn't sound like a read for me. After taking a class a couple years ago on representations of drug addiction in popular culture, I don't feel compelled to pick up stuff like this much. But I'm glad you enjoyed it.

>123 Ape: I like fast food fries but I tend to favour New York Fries. Or the curly fires from Arby's. Mmm. Great, now I'm hungry. :P

I love BBQ sauce! In fact, I'm about to eat a pizza with it as sauce :D

I totally had New York Fries for lunch. French fry craving satisfied!

I love pizzas with BBQ sauce, chicken, and jalapenos. Humm. . . now I want pizza and it's 5am.

Micky: Awww, it only has 5 users on the books page, that's not pop culture. :P

Katie: YES! BBQ and chicken pizza is the most amazing pizza ever! :)

Micky: Mmmm... *still craving fries*

Michelle: Mmmm... *craving pizza too*

My thread is making me fatter, I think...

That one may not be popular but we did read a book similar to it. You might want to try it: How to Stop Time: Heroin from A-Z by Ann Marlowe. It was actually pretty fascinating but not a sub-genre I'm likely to spend much time with.

I'm going to have a muffin!

Hmmm, maybe. I really only read Where the Sky Ends because it was my choice for my 'randomly generated books' thing... but I did 'enjoy' it! Then again, I always seem to 'enjoy' depressing books. D'oh.

I hope "having a muffin" isn't some new slang I'm unfamiliar with... :P

Well, I hope it just means muffin, because I know what muff diving is and I'm not going there today. XP

Oh dear! Well, I was thinking that cute guys are sometimes called 'muffins,' so having a muffin is a slang phrase just waiting to be born...

Actually, it sounds like taking a poo.

And what about muffin top? Not a cute saying. Poor, poor muffins. :(

I can't think about muffins without being reminded of the talking muffin joke. You know, the two muffins are sitting in the oven... the first muffin says "Wow, it sure is hot in here" and the 2nd muffin says "OH MY GOD, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Cute children's book:

#135: (scratches) Hmm, don't remember that one, but sounds funny. :)

#136: Ok, you got me there, mamzel. Not every muffin word is gross. I love those books. :)

If you give a moose a muffin, it says "what's this aboot, eh?" and eats it with maple syrup? *shrug*

I feel sorry for muffins now, look!



If you google Muffins are ugly cupcakes you get all kinds of results! *Weeps for poor, rejected muffins*

I like this one

Me too, Kath. And this one:

hehehe

Aawww, now I really do feel sorry for muffins. (gives a hug and nibble to every muffin she meets)

Yes, poor muffins, I'm never eating a cupcake again! (Unless it's with antagonistic fury.)

So I tried to get a pic last night that says "Muffin vs Cupcake. A race straight to my ass" . . . . but the link gave my comp a virus, so no silly pic :(

Stephen- Loved the review of Where the Sky Ends. I'll have to get this one on the WL.

135- The kid on Two and a Half men told that joke during a re-run that my grandmother was watching. (Yes, my grandmother watches Two and a Half Men!) The joke caught me by surprise and I laughed out loud. I think it's a cute, silly joke.

link to thinkgeek..

http://www.thinkgeek.com/interests/looflirpa/e88a/?pfm=Carousel_Zombie_Bunny_1

and

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/b9b2/

#147: Haha! I love those, especially the bathroom drapes!

Katie: Hmmmm...it's the cupcakes fault!!

Hi Mark! Thanks...y'know what? Ummmm, I think I fell behind on your thread again. D'oh!

Angela: I know, I laughed the first time I heard it too. My mother watches Two and a Half men as well, which is odd considering how anti-man she is. I think she uses it to add fuel to her own fire or something. :P

Kath: Ha! I love the shower curtains and mat!

Sara: Uhh, right, I agree! What Sara said.

Drapes? *Looks again* Hmmm, I think in this case I would prefer the carpet didn't match the drapes...

Slip of the tongue. Curtains, drapes, whatever, y'perv. :P

Hello cupcake Stefano ... I'm sorry I was away for so long but I've been giggling nonstop catching up on your thread.

Sara: Ok, there were bloody drapes and I made a bad 'carpet' joke, did you have to say a 'slip of the tongue.' *cringe*

Caro!!! Nice to see you! Just for you, when the worldwide Cupcake Crusades happens I'll be sure to allow these ones to survive.

whoop whoop... a rainbow cupcake! How could you possible even think of destroying this darling tasty looking cupcake, Stefano.

Whoa, one idle comment about my tasty muffin from Cookies by George and I start a cupcake vs. muffin war? Why can't we all just get along... into my tummy. :D

Nice review of Where the Sky Ends, Stephen. Unfortunately my local library does not have it yet.

Caro: *Walks in with face covered in rainbow cupcake icing* Ummm...yes...who would think of destroying that!? *Nervous laugh*

Micky: ...but there are less explosions involved in getting along. I mean that's really the whole reason world leaders start wars in the first place, to see things blow up. Yay fire! :P

Stasia: Thanks Stasia! It's not a very popular book, it seems...I might never have come across it had it not been for my random number generation thing!

Is anyone else having problems loading reviews? Sometimes I go to book pages and there just aren't any. Even some of my own reviews aren't showing up. My review for Where the Sky Ends, for example, isn't appearing for me. I hope they aren't getting deleted! Although I guess I have them all backed-up here on my 75 threads...

Ohhhh, how I laugh as I meander through this threadly medley of madness. I LOVE the shower curtain/bath mat combo, though probably more as a gift idea than as a starting point for my own radical Psycho-esque bathroom redecoration. The rainbow cupcake looks yummy - though I have to say that Cake Wars aside, I'm definitely on the side of the muffin. Bigger cake, giant chocolate chips, less of the sickly whippy icing... What's not to love? In fact, I had a warm choc chip muffin for breakfast this morning with a big mug of tea! :-)

I need to think about breakfast.. or lunch .. or something..

>157 Ape: I'm all good with explosions in action movies and the like. But I think real ones would be scary. So I think I'll just stick to eating muffins and cupcakes and see if I can't negotiate peace that way. :P

Make sure you eat equal muffins and cupcakes though, otherwise you could get accused of favouritism, cake envy will grow, and it'll all go to hell in a handbasket... Muffins throwing tiny grenades into displays of cupcakes, flocks of cupcakes pouncing on muffins in dark alleys... it won't be pretty. All that'll be left by morning is a handful of crumbs, a single chocolate chunk, and a lurid scrape of pink icing on the wall...

Okay, that was mad, even by my standards. :P

Yummy muffins. Tasty cupcakes. Why can't we all get along? (and eat them!)

Ellie: Icing! Why is it always so awful on those premade store-bought cakes? The regular icing tastes like styrofoam and the decorative icing tastes like plastic. Blech!

Kath: Odd, I never seem to have a problem thinking about food... I have leftover pizza!

Micky: Pffft, explosions are cool and Muffin Vs Cupcake war is inevitable, you can't deny it!

Ellie: You forgot the torture techniques! I think the cupcakes dumk the muffins in water to make them soggy and the muffins hire kittens with scratchy tongues to lick the icing off the cupcakes. >:)

Rachel: Bah! Stop that, you're being too logical! *Sends an assassin disguised as a muffin to kill a cupcake general* Bwahahaha!

20. What I Was by Meg Rosoff



Pages: 209
Rating: 3/5

General Fiction

I love good books. I hate bad books. What I hate most though, is books I'm so torn in half over that I can't decide whether I loved or hated it. It's infuriating, and What I Was is one of those.

Who he was was a young boy 'stuck' in a boarding school. He was exasperated with his education, which he viewed not so much as academic but more like authoritative obedience training. He was sick of having his future pre-ordained, and frequently dreamed of freedom from society's shackles. Then one day he happened upon a cabin in the woods, where he met what he describes as the most beautiful boy he has ever seen. What follows is a coming-of-age story of friendship, love, liberation, and outright adoration.

It's a wonderful book, really. The characters are simultaneously lovely and strange, as is the plot, and both made for such an enjoyable and rather amusing read.

The problem, unfortunately, is that it isn't long enough! This is sometimes a problem when books are so good you don't want them to end, but in this case the book literally feels rushed and unfinished in the end. I had that sinking feeling in my stomach when I flipped to the last page and realized it was over, and I wondered what happened to the rest of the book. Technically the author finishes the story, but it's so glossed over it just isn't satisfying.

So you see? I'm torn. On one hand I loved the novel because reading it was such an enjoyable experience, but on the other I was so disappointed at the end that I have a hard time looking back on the book now without a teensy bit of displeasure. I just wish it would have been a little longer...

Great review! I'm intrigued by the book but a little scared by the rushed ending. The cover is pretty though. :)

Hmm, might read it. Might not. You'll never know. Or care. :P

Thanks Rachel. I can't really encourage/discourage you in any way...I want you to read it immediately and stay away from it at the same time! Can you do that?

Sara: Would to care!! I would definitely be curious about what other people think about it.

Oops! I'd better go and pack for my road trip tomorrow!

Maybe your mom would like to meet me in a bar tomorrow night for drinks and man-bashing?

Except, of course, there will be no bashing my naked dancing boys...

#164: Another nice review, Stephen!

I'm about a week and a half late in my response, but I just wanted to say that I hope my boys beg and plead for books with snazzy covers one day...

Terri: Eeek! *Checks map and draws a line between Missouri and Ohio* Nope! I'm not in your war path. You'd have to go MANY MANY MANY hours out of you way to get to my town. I think I'm safe. :P

The only thing my mom hates more than men is bars, probably. Only because they are filled with drunken 'perverted' men who have nothing good on their minds. Isn't that was bars were made for!? :P

Thanks Stasia! *Smooch*

Luxx: Hehe, I was lucky. I liked anything with dark and creepy pictures, and Dollar General was the most boring store to be in ever (as a child,) so I always went straight to the Shivers book rack. And the best part is they sold for $1, barely more than a Hot Wheels toy car, so I was always begging for books and cars. :P

*staggers in very, very late*
Just giggled my way through the whole thread (Team Muffin ftw :P) and I'm sorry the CSI book didn't really work out for you, it's probably my fault for not being discerning enough to pick up on the author's bitchy tone and rating the book reasonably well. Or it just means that I have a few too many mean bones in my body :S

*sneaks back into lurkdom*

Hi Rach! It might have just been me. Considering how I grew up (very poor) I get defensive easily when those of a higher social status look down their noses at those they deem 'below' them. :(

I get the same way when I see middle class folk with big houses, nice cars, lots of big TVs, new computers, and pristine swimming pools complain about money. *rolls eyes*

173- Me too.

Pretty cover on your latest read but I think I'll pass. I have serious issues with poorly done endings. But I'm glad you enjoyed everything before that.

Cupcake icing is awesome. Especially on mini cupcakes. It's almost a 1:1 ratio of cake to icing. :D

Angela: Yep!

Micky: It's even purdier in person!

Blech, I'm really not liking my current read very much, but I'm so deep into it I'm not sure I want to abandon it...I can probably (maybe) finish it by Monday...I think.

bah! Life's too short ... if you hate it .. chuck it!

I'm thinking about it, but...it's only 200 pages...

Do you not like it for the writing style or the content? If it's writing style, I usually push through. If the ideas are good, then I can play with them after the book. But if the content is rubbish and it isn't written exceptionally well, I chuck it. Very few occasions has the prose been good enough to get me through a crap book. In any case, I hope you find your next read is better.

I actually like the writing, I'm just so uninterested in the story that I dread picking it up and actually reading it.

I don't think I was paying attention. What's the horrid read called?

It's called I Am Zoe Handke. I'll give it another try today, see if I make any progress...

I should have taken my own advice on the one I just finished. Bah!

Stubborn! :P

Congratulations on your lovely review of What I Was. Thumbs up from me..

Congratulations on a well-deserved hot review.

Thank you, Linda! I haven't been focusing much on reviews lately...I guess I'm just happy to finish a book, writing reviews haven't felt very appealing afterwards. Nice to see I can make it up on the list anyhow. :D

Much luck in vanquishing your current read!

Stephen

Watch out...Terri is in Ohio. She was lost. Perhaps you saw her driving in your neighborhood.

Hey! Where did you find that picture of me?

Micky: I got a nice chunk finished yesterday...found myself skimming a bit though (sigh) but I think I'll finish it sometime today.

Linda: Haha! Well, I didn't see that, although someone did drive by in a golf cart yesterday...

Hi Terri! So, are you still in Ohio? When are you leaving? I mean I mean, ummm, how long are you staying... ;)

That was my neighbor in the golf cart..
with the video camera

#171: A smooch from Stephen? *swoon*

Kath: Oh... ...well, that's okay. I was inside, you got nothin' on me!

Stasia: Oh dear! Stasia, are you okay? I must be a disease vector or something, you seem ill. *Sweeps Stasia into his arms before she collapses.*

:P

*sweeps through thread like a whirling dervish*

Hi all! *plonks a big smacker on Stephen's cheek* Bye all!

*Swoons and accidentally drops Stasia*

All this smooching and swooning going on here. Are you sure you don't like romance novels Stephen?

I think he's planning on writing his own.

Bibliophile, Ape Style

Micky: Pretty sure. I don't like books with lots of sex for the same reason I don't like books on physics. Makes my head hurt... :(

Luxx: Now there's an idea! I suppose there will a dashing scientific hero out to tame a crazed lady-beast known as Flesh-Eating Backteria, whose overwhelming sexual prowess is kept in check (but just barely) by a group of robotic defenders known as Antibionics. Will Flesh-Eating Backteria become antibionic resistant? Well, shoot...in this case I might be rooting for the wrong side. :P

Define "wrong."

Well, I generally root for drugs beating the microbes, but crazy flesh-eating lady-beast named Backteria? ...hmmmm...

ahem.

Awww, no fair Kath. They baited me into that one! ...

nope.. not that.. just a reminder...

Oh, that's good Kath, because I didn't even get to the best part yet. In my romance, there is a very primitive tribe that lives deep in the jungles of someplace, and they practice many gruesome and barbaric rituals, all manner of things like self-torture, cannibalism, and necrophilia. One of them, you see, involves ejaculating on the faces of the recently deceased. The idea is that covering the faces of the dead with the seed of the living will somehow grant eternal life. It's grotesque and is liable to make the average person cringe if they were to watch it. *Shudders*

Flesh-Eating Backteria the lady-beast, upon breaking free of the antibionic chains, finds the tribe and takes advantage of it. She transforms herself into someone who has recently died and takes the place of their body. When the ritualist is about to ejaculate on her face, she awakens and bites him! Ouch...

The man begins to rot slowly, from the groin outward, until he himself dies. The scientific hero fellow has dubbed this condition Necrotizing Facialitis.

hmmm

Just buzzing by just in time to see mention of flesh-eating bacteria and I know all is well in Apeville. :)

>204 Ape: - That may be the most disturbing post I've read on LT to date... *backs out slowly so she doesn't startle the crazy boy, whispering to her fellow LT-ers to run while they have the chance*

*Waves* Hi Lynda! :)

Ellie: See? This is why I don't write romances. :P

I finished The Book yesterday, but just didn't feel like writing a review. I'll get it done later today.

lol, so much lol. Looks like the beginnings of a sci-fi/horror b-movie

207- What Ellie said! :)

Katie: Never!! This is a romance bestseller/classic in the making! >:P

Angela: Oh, I dunno, I still think Stephen's Necrotizing Fasciitis Pleasure House might be one of the odder LT inventions...

Review coming up!

21. I Am Zoe Handke by Eric Larsen



Pages: 216
Rating: 2/5

General Fiction

I Am Zoe Handke is, technically, a well-written book. At least, if you're definition of well-written is that it showcases the author's ability to write lovely sentences. The language in the book is beautiful, and I in no way question Eric Larsen talent as a writer.

The unfortunate part is I found the story utterly dull. No matter how pretty the paragraphs were, I just couldn't get interested in the book. I found my attention flagging and my mind drifting, and I kept snapping to attention only to realize I had 'read' half a page without absorbing a single word. I just couldn't concentrate on the book, as it did little to capture my attention.

It may be that the character Zoe Handke was actually taken from another book, and this whole novel is used to give background information on her. I, having never read of the girl, had no interest in her childhood and family history, and the author gave me very little reason to care.

I guess it shows that sheer writing talent isn't enough to make a book worth reading. Despite the author's flair for writing, I still found it a bland and boring book. I'm glad I'm finally done with it.

I think I'm going to sneak out with Ellie while there's crazy "romance" novel plotting going on. The book is bound to be a bestseller in the zombie demographic though, I'm sure. ;)

P.S. Hope your next read is better.

Thanks Micky, I'm 'reading' an art book on Leonardo da Vinci. Much better, indeed!

Ooooooo, pretty books!

drive-by hug

drive - by HELLO :)

Micky: Definitely! Although most of pictures I'm finding pretty aren't painted by Leonardo himself...

Richard: Stand-still hug!

Valerie: What? I'm not huggable? Bah! *Gives Valerie a big hairy hug*

I might have a chance to take a trip to the library a little later, so I think I'm just going to pass on my randomly generated fiction book. Here are the numbers for this trip, if I go today:

Nonfiction: 99! (990-999 - General History)
Fiction: 20, 6 (Tf)

I'll have to round off the Tf to Te or Th.

Good Morning !

Mornin'! *Raises cereal spoon in salute to Cindy*

*patiently waits*

Oh, I hate it when an author takes talent and only uses it to showcase talent. Narrative is just as important as mechanics and devices, people.

>222 London_StJ: *applause, applause*

*Waves at Kath* :)

Luxx: What Richard said.

Richard: ... ...I agree!

I finished the art book thingy this morning. Like before, I'm not sure if I'll write an official review but I'll make a post for it later tonight sometime...probably.

taunter.

I'm going to the library today too! Of course, I work there...

Hope you find some awesome books if you do go. :)

Micky: Lucky! I want to work at a library! :(

Funny, I was on here earlier after I got home and was rushing to make a post, because a huge storm was brewing and I didn't want my computer on during a lightening storm. While I was posting I got distracted by one of the heaviest hail storms I think I've ever seen, and when I made it back to the computer my connection was dead.

Anyway, I finally got it back online, and here were my choices.

Nonfiction: The Bounty by Caroline Alexander (996.1 Al)
Fiction: Kowloon Tong by Paul Theroux

The sad part is I'm not sure I'm going to read either of these. Now that I have it home, Kowloon Tong just doesn't look all that interesting. As far as The Bounty is concerned, I 'accidentally' checked out 7 books, so I'm not sure I'll have time for it.

...although of 5 other books I checked out, 2 are novellas and 1 is an art book. So... *shrug* we'll see.

I'll definitely add it to my wishlist though. I really want to read it! It seems fascinating.

Drive by hugs are more than OKAY....as long as I don't think a mouth full of fur... :) *Goes off coughing up a furball*

Ditto what Luxx and Richard said. Somehow, that's more disappointing than plain bad writing or good ideas hidden in fluorescent purple prose.

Hi There Buddy!

The end of the academic semester approaches and it is exceedingly busy...next week will be crazy! Thus, I want to be sure to wish you Happy Birthday and say that I hope April 25th is a day as special as you are!

229 - It really is, because you know the author has real potential. I can't help but think ego gets in the way.

229: It definitely can be.

230: Thanks Linda! *Smooch* Hope things calm down for you soon. :)

231: The worst part is wondering whether you should try another book by the author or not... in this case, I don't have to worry because my library doesn't have any more. :P

Hey everyone! I'm just making a quick post to say GAH! My power was out most of yesterday and, when it did come on, I couldn't get online. After several hours of tinkering I've discovered the power strip behind my computer has gone bad (hopefully that means it stopped a power surge from ruining my computer.)

I have my computer plugged directly into the wall right now, but I can't keep it that way.

I have a review for a Leonardo da Vinci art book finished (not sure if I'll post it on the book's page or not) and I'm more than half way though my current read.

Hopefully I can get a new surge protector soon!

I wondered if the storms had gotten to you ...
we had some bad weather too.. but my area was unscathed..

I went ahead and officially posted this review!

22. Leonardo da Vinci (DK Art Book)



Pages: 133
Rating: 3/5

This DK Art Book series is one I stumbled upon when browsing my local library's art section. It's only the 2nd book of art I've ever read, so I can't really compare it to others or offer any knowledgeable insight. I can say, however, that I loved the format of the book. Each page is marked with a colored bar (yellow, blue, or pink) which indicate whether the page is covers the life and works of the title artist, historical background information about the time period or about what other artists were doing, and 'masterpiece' pages that show a specific work by the artist and analyzes it, hi-lighting certain aspects of the work and offering interesting details about it.

The book offers a wide variety of art, either by Leonardo or those of his time period, and the masterpiece pages really helped me get an understanding of why certain pieces were painted a certain way.

Leonardo is far from a favorite artist of mine, but I liked the way this book was set up and I think I'll return to the series in the future.

Hi Kath! Yeah, it was pretty bad. I was woken up by lightening striking right outside my house, and I think my power was out shortly after!

Oh, I don't get to post about buying books like everyone else very often, but I went on a little birthday shopping spree! :D I do it every birthday/Christmas...but lately I've been reigning myself in because I can't afford 'luxuries,' including books. But I'm getting the car soon, so I splurged a bit. But then, of course, right after my power strip goes bad. Gah!

Anyway, here is what I bought for a about $30.

Riddled with Life: Friendly Worms, Ladybug Sex, and the Parasites That Make Us Who We Are
The Demon Under the Microscope
Guns, Germs, and Steel
Level 4: Virus Hunters of the CDC
The Sword of Hannibal
The Isle of Stone
A Canticle of Leibowitz

I predict that you will like A Canticle for Leibowitz a lot...
geesh, we went through a few copies here when the kids were home..

Yikes, not good news on the no-power-busted-surge-protector front. But YAY for new books! It looks like a perfect Ape Basket. Hope they get here soon!

Kath: I just noticed it is part of a series...is it necessary to read the 2nd one, or is it a 'distant' sequel?

Laura: Haha, I suppose it is a very Me basket. I'm a much more diverse reader when I'm browsing the library shelves filled with free books, but when I'm spending actual money I tend to fall back on my trusty favorite topics/genres. :)

I second Kath's prediction re: A Canticle for Leibowitz. *snort* The canticle...priceless!

Hi Richard! Actually, it was only something like $4.30 after $3.99 shipping... :P

Ah...I see you embody a Wildean dictum: "He knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing."

*facetious little pisher, I'll have the redheaded ninja-girl get after him*

Redheaded ninja-girl? ...now that sounds valuable. Speaking of which, I'm sure there is a joke there involving 'embodying a dictum' or something, but I don't feel like putting in the effort...so to speak.

The second book by Miller was written very, very many years later. I have it but haven't read it yet.

Just stopping by to make sure you haven't drowned, during all this crappy weather.....I know that sandals are "out" for me this year, unless I find someway to fix my webbed feet.

Thankfully, the power stayed on here...or I would have been a real basket case.

;-}

It has been years, Stephen.. I don't recall a series.. just that book..

Thanks Roni! :)

Hi Jude! That reminds me, weren't you the one that recommended Kitty Ferguson to me? I checked out one of her books (Prisons of Light), we'll see if I get around to it. I checked out so many books at least one or two of them probably won't get read...hopefully I can fit it in!

Cross-posted, Kath. Thanks, I guess I won't have to worry about it. I was just worried about a cliff-hanger ending or something.

I don't know if I recommended Kitty Ferguson...but, I sure do love her work! glad you finally found her!!!

I thought it was you Jude. I just checked the conversations page of Prisons of Light and saw I had posted about it on a thread in 2010. I checked it and sure enough, it was you. You recommended her after I posted a review for First Light. :)

New thread coming up, and a review!