AuntieClio Reads in 2014 - Page 9

(birthday dinner)

Hi, I'm Stephanie.

This is my second year with the 75ers and am really happy getting to know more of you. I live in Silicon Valley and am a life in transition.

I designed the 75ers t-shirts, etc. More of which you can find out about here Be sure to get yours so we can spot each other in a crowd.

These threads are where I'll keep lists and slice and dice the data said lists generate.

Running total

Monthly reading lists:
January reading list
February reading list
March reading list
April reading list
May reading list
June reading list
July reading list
August reading list
September reading list

Counters:
ROOTS - aiming for 50 read and out of the house



Last year I read 104 but I'm keeping my goal to 75 in 2014.



Emptying and reshuffling some of the many boxes of books I own

Mysterious Box 38:



And as they go out, so too do they come in.
(includes 2 Pearl Ruled)

2014 Running Total
(updated at the end of each month)

2014 Total Books Read: 77
2014 Total TIOLI Books Read: 77
2014 ROOTs: 39

2014 Digital Read: 10
2014 Goes: 39
2014 Loaner:
2014 Stays: 28
2014 Undecided Status:

2014 Fiction: 59
2014 Non-Fiction: 17
2014 Poetry: 1

2014 New Book Categories:
Tudors: 3
60s: 1
Beats: 3
Women: 4
History: 1
Politics:
Religion:
Spirituality:
Photography/Creativity: 7
Business/Marketing: 4
Fiction (Familiar Author): 42
Non-Fiction (Familiar Author): 6
Thingadingy: 6
Other: 7

2014 Books Bought: 37
2014 Gifts: 68
2014 Downloads: 20

Best/Most of 2014
Best of January:
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak

Most Fun of January:
Aloha From Hell by Richard Kadrey

Best of February:
Dust by Hugh Howey
after the quake by Haruki Murakami

Most Useful of February:
The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists by Eleanor Payson

Most Interesting of March:
Who Am I This Time? by Jay Martin

Best of March:
Dune by Frank Herbert
Nation by Terry Pratchett
Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan

Best of April:
Just One Damned Thing After Another by Jodi Taylor
A Second Chance by Jodi Taylor
The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood
Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood

Best of May:
The Story of Lucy Gault by William Trevor
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
My Name is Red by Ohan Pamuk

Best of June:
Maus I, Maus II by Art Spiegelman

Most Fun of June:
White Fire by Douglas Preston & Lincoln Childs
Redshirts by John Scalzi

Best of July:
Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
A Trail Through Time by Jodi Taylor

Best of August:
Howl and Other Poems by Allen Ginsberg
The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

Best of September:
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles by Haruki Murakami
The Wolfman by Nicholas Pekearo

Proposed Rules of Engagement

1. To read what I already own


2. If acquiring new books they must fall roughly into the following categories:
   
   
   
   • Tudors (especially Elizabeth I)
   
   
   • Beats
   
   
   • Psychedelic 60s (mostly 1967-1970)
   
   
   • Women (a rather large category, but in spirit, means women who fit into other loosely defined categories)
   
   
   • Religion/spirituality (particularly early religions)
   
   
   • If fiction, must be by someone I have already read (trying to avoid starting new series by new authors)
   
   
   • Politics (but mostly in terms of other loosely defined categories)
   
   
   • History (most non-fiction will be history, meant to be collective for books which don't fit in other loosely defined categories)
   
   
   • photography
   
   
   • Space Program (Apollo)
   
   
   
   
3. 75 in 2014 is the main goal, not TIOLI


4. Books cannot be purchased simply to fit a TIOLI challenge.

Mysterious Box Count

Mysterious Box 36 - Done


Mysterious Box 38 - in process

Mysterious Box 38 - 31 books

Adams, Douglas - Life, the universe, and everything (goes) (March)
Adams, Douglas - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (goes) (March)
Adams, Douglas - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (goes) (March)
Allende, Isabel - Eva Luna (stays) (June)
Allende, Isabel - The House of the Spirits (re-read)
Aristophanes - The Acharnians, The Clouds, Lysistrata (re-read)
Atwood, Margaret - Alias Grace (April) (Stays)
Atwood, Margaret- Cat's Eye (April) (Goes)
Atwood, Margaret - Robber Bride (April) (Stays)
Buckland, Raymond - The Witch Book: The Encyclopedia of Witchcraft, Wicca and Neo-Paganism (Pearl Ruled) (June)
Chaikin, Andrew - A Man on the Moon (re-read) (June) (Stays)
Coel, Margaret - The Shadow Dancer (re-read) (goes) (August)
Herbert, Frank - Dune (stays)(March)
Herbert, Frank - Dune Messiah (goes) (March)
Herbert, Frank - Children of Dune (goes) (March)
Herbert, Frank - God Emperor of Dune (goes) (April)
Herbert, Frank - Heretics of Dune (goes) (April)
Herbert, Frank - The Jesus Incident
Herbert, Frank - The White Plague (Pearl Ruled) (June)
Herlihy, James Leo - Midnight Cowboy
James, P.D. - The Children of Men (re-read)
Kinnan Rawlings, Marjorie - The Yearling (August) (stays)
Lane, Roger - Murder In America: A History (September) (stays)
Le Mee, Katharine - Chant: The Origins, Form, Practice, and Healing Power of Gregorian Chant
Orwell, George - 1984 (stays) (March)
Peters, Ellis - Hermit of Eyton Forest
Pipher, Mary - Reviving Ophelia (re-read)
Steinbeck, John - Cannery Row (stays) (July)
Tannahill, Reay - Sex in History (stays) (August)
Thurston, Carol - The Eye of Horus (re-read)
Turow, Scott - Presumed Innocent (goes) (June)

Authors new to me in 2014:
Alsanea, Rajaa
Achebe, Chinua
Catton, Eleanor
Gardner, Erle Stanley
Coetzee, J. M.
Ghosh, Amitav
Godin, Seth
Guy, John
Hearne, Kevin
Kostova, Elizabeth
Lane, Roger
Le Guin, Ursula
Martin, Jay
McCloskey, Deirdre
Miles, Barry
Mukherjee, Bharati
Pamuk, Orhan
Payson, Eleanor
Pekearo, Nicholas
Rawlings, Marjorie Kinnan
Sagan, Carl
Sloan, Robin
Spiegelman, Art
Stabenow, Dana
Stephens, Walter
Tannahill, Reay
Taylor, Jodi
Trevor, William
Turow, Scott
Turtledove, Harry
Willis, Connie
Yousafzai, Malala
Zafon, Carlos Ruiz

Completed August Reading
70. (G)(F) Lincoln's Dreams by Connie Willis (gift) - TIOLI #2 - Read a book with a Top 50 Event listed in its Common Knowledge section (American Civil War)
71. (S)(P) Howl and Other Poems by Allen Ginsberg - TIOLI #5 - Read a book whose cover image contains text only--no pictures or images
72. (D)(F) Second Star by Dana Stabenow - TIOLI #1 - Read a book with a two-word title, with each word beginning with the same letter
73. (S)(NF) Sex in History by Reay Tannahill (Mysterious Box 38) - TIOLI #10: Read a book with a title that is also catalogued by a different author (Gordon Rattray Taylor)
74. (G)(F) Doomsday Book by Connie Willis (gift) - TIOLI #17: Read a book featuring time travel and is not written by Jodi Taylor
75. (G)(F) Shadow Dancer by Margaret Coel (Mysterious Box 38) - TIOLI #18. Read a book in which one (and only one) word in the title contains a suffix (er)
76. (G)(F) Bellwether by Connie Willis (gift) - TIOLI #19. Read a book that you told someone you would
77. (S)(F) The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings (Mysterious Box 38) - TIOLI #23. Read a book that was on your shelf unread when you joined LT and remains unread to this very day

---

New to the Stacks:
105. Hexed by Kevin Hearne
106. Playing Big by Tara Mohr (LTER) (goes)
107. Hunted by Kevin Hearne
108. Hammered by Kevin Hearne
109. Cosmopolitan Greetings by Allen Ginsberg (stays)
110. Death and Fame by Allen Ginsberg
111. A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr.
112. The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood

---

August Total Books Read: 8
August Total TIOLI Books Read: 8
August ROOTs: 4

August Digital Read: 1
August Goes: 4
August Loaner:
August Stays: 3
August Undecided Status:

August Fiction: 6
August Non-Fiction: 1
August Poetry: 1

August New Book Categories:
Tudors:
60s:
Beats: 2
Women: 1
History:
Politics:
Religion:
Spirituality:
Photography/Creativity:
Business/Marketing:
Fiction (Familiar Author): 6
Non-Fiction (Familiar Author):
Other:

August Books Bought: 7
August Gifts: 1
August Downloads:

Proposed September Reading
Murder in America by Roger Lane (Mysterious Box 38) - TIOLI #19. Read a Book with a Noun in the Title (Murder, America) - COMPLETED
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami (gift) - TIOLI #10. Read a book that takes place in a country in which you have never set foot (Japan) - COMPLETED
Old Man's War by John Scalzi (gift) - TIOLI #14. Read a book that is part of a series and whose author's first or last name is five or six letters in length
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende (Mysterious Box 38) - TIOLI #11. Read a book that was first published after 1950 and adapted to film or tv (Published: 1982, Film: 1993)
The Ghost Brigades by John Scalzi (gift) - TIOLI #15. Read a book which has a military term in the title (Brigades)

Completed September Reading
78. (S)(NF) Murder in America by Roger Lane (Mysterious Box 38) - TIOLI #19. Read a Book with a Noun in the Title (Murder, America)
79. (S)(F) The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami (gift) - TIOLI #10. Read a book that takes place in a country in which you have never set foot (Japan)
80. (S)(F) The Wolfman by Nicholas Pekearo - TIOLI #5. Read a book you didn't buy

---

New to the Stacks:
113. Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley (Tina)
114. The Wolfman by Nicholas Pekearo (Tina)
115. Not Your Mother's Slow Cooker Selected Recipes by Beth Hensperger

---

September Total Books Read: 3
September Total TIOLI Books Read: 3
September ROOTs:

September Digital Read:
September Goes:
September Loaner:
September Stays: 3
September Undecided Status:

September Fiction: 2
September Non-Fiction: 1
September Poetry:

September New Book Categories:
Tudors:
60s:
Beats:
Women:
History:
Politics:
Religion:
Spirituality:
Photography/Creativity:
Business/Marketing:
Fiction (Familiar Author):
Non-Fiction (Familiar Author):
Other: 1

September Books Bought: 1
September Gifts: 2
September Downloads:

Next one's all yours! :-D

EEEEEK! I'm number 1!

ETA: How often does that happen?

Hey cool Heather Rachel! As first visitor on my new thread, you get a signed, limited edition postcard featuring one of my photographs. Please PM your address to me.

Doomsday Book by Connie Willis

If Willis had stuck to the story of Kivrin getting stuck in 1348 England and adapting to life there, this would have been a great book. But the story set in 2054, the time from which Kivrin originally comes, and the academic infighting, the health emergency and .... oh *sigh* that part was poorly written and *boring.* Willis spent so much time pointing out one of the character's Christmas Gift muffler/scarf I was convinced it had something to do with the reason Kivrin was stuck.

How this won a Hugo and Nebula is truly beyond me.

The Shadow Dancer by Margaret Coel

Christianity (Catholicism) vs. Native ways, White man laws vs. Indian Laws, celibate white priest vs. lawyer indian woman divorced from snake who is convinced the family just needs to be together again and everything will work out. Murder, threatened racist mayhem, lines drawn, sides taken ....

There was a time when I really liked Margaret Coel's books set in Arapaho country in Wyoming. Many, many years and all of Tony Hillerman's books have passed through my hands since. The Shadow Dancer isn't a bad mystery, it's just a little predictable and I am so over the theme of whether it's okay for an indian man/woman to be in love with someone who isn't. Just get on with it already.

Lovely new thread under construction here, Stephanie!

I've been reading Chez Panzienza for years now, first at his blog Deus Ex Malcontent and now at The Daily Banter. I mention this because Chez is in Ferguson, MO covering the protest there. Last night, he got hit with pepper spray right in the eyes. I don't know him personally, but it's like a distant friend getting hurt. Either Chez is nuts, or he's brave. Or some of both.

Stopping by and waving hi!

I'm so sorry to read about the miserable way the temp agency has treated you, Stephanie. They should be ashamed of themselves...very, very ashamed.

However, a huge "rock on" to Leslie for being a real person when you needed one. You just keep on putting out that positive energy. I'll be praying on my end and sending my good thoughts that direction too. That job is yours!

I managed to keep this inside my head where it belongs, but as I was looking longingly at the chair and the empty desk once occupied by a now gone co-worker I kept thinking, "My ass would look really good in that chair."

I have to keep reminding myself to leave these poor people alone and let the process work.

Happy new thread, Stephanie!

Hope that you do get a permanent spot there. Finding a good and decent place to work is not easy.

Congrats on the new thread, Stephanie. Fun to see your list of authors that were new to you this year - kudos to you for stretching out like that.

Happy new thread, Stephenie.

Well, there is good news and bad news on the job front.

The good news is that I have work until September 15th.

The bad news is that sometime between yesterday's confirmation of a second interview and this afternoon's conversation with my manager, things changed. There were two positions open and they have both been filled by people who are not me.

Supposedly, there is a third position but it has not been approved yet and they want to go through the whole recruiting process again. Which might mean I have to re-apply.

Matthew is doing what he can to keep me around but I am so tired of living in anxiety over money I feel like I could just curl up in a little ball (well, not so little, my body is not a compact one). There's always a plan and a reason to keep my faith in the universe but I'm having a really hard time right now. Things work out at the very last second but I am really tired of that. I want to know from day to day I have income. It's hard to plan my life living like this.

ETA: Reassuring meeting with Leslie who told me to keep the faith. "Things are changing here so fast ... just hang in there." She's going to talk to some people and make sure that Matthew understands I like working for him and do like working here. At first I didn't like it here and he picked up on that, now he just needs to know that's changed.

We also talked about how what we say and think affects the world around us. So she kept encouraging me to keep believing I have this job, because I do.

So not only am I asking for the job which belongs to me, but also the calm and patience required to wait until the time is right.

Bellwether by Connie Willis

Willis catches the ridiculousness that is academic/bureaucratic scientific businesses perfectly. The never ending flows of required paperwork which no one can figure out how to fill out. The inept employees who think their mistake is someone else's mistake (yours, in point of fact). The scientists who just want to do their research. It's all here and it's painfully funny.

Sorry to hear that those positions were filled, but still hopeful for you!

I LOVE Bellwether--with your experiences in academia, I expect you to love it as well.

Well ding, dang, Stephanie. *sigh* Still keeping you in my thoughts, hoping good things come your way job-wise, and soon so that you can rest from worrying.

I realized last night that I keep saying, "I'm tired of ..." No wonder I'm tired all the time. I'm going to switch it and say, "I'm eager to be able to meet my financial obligations and live a more relaxed life."

I'm eager for the waiting to be over. :-)

Stephanie, sending you a huge amount of positive thoughts and wishing you a relaxed weekend.

Stephanie, I admire your ability to turn a bad situation into positive thinking. You go girl!!!!

Today was soooooo great. I was filled with energy and only missed getting a couple of errands done, neither of which are critical.

Car has an oil pan gasket issue and I can't afford what my mechanic wants to fix it. My neighbor has a friend who offered to change the oil pan gasket for about half my mechanic's price plus parts. Feeling only a little guilty for cheating on Vik, I agreed to have this guy work on Car.

I am very particular about who I let touch her, and while it did make me a little nervous to let someone I hadn't met work on her, I thought there wasn't much choice. Having her engine fry is much more expensive than an oil pan gasket replacement. So arrangements were set for this morning (Saturday).

Only, as far as I can tell, the guy didn't show. I waited until 1245, with apartment door open so we could be sure to see each other when he came to knock. There were things to be done, and I no longer sit around waiting for people to show up. So I left.

Knowing Car was several quarts low, I took her to Vik's and explained the situation. For the price of an oil change, they checked everything out. Car is not in grave danger of a major oil leak or anything but we do need to take care of the gasket sooner rather than later. All through my time there, he kept saying, "I'll take care of it, don't worry." Vik has never failed me. Relieved to have Car in the safe zone again.

Then last minute lunch with a friend I haven't seen all year. Things worked out such that we met at a restaurant not far from Vik's.

There was laughter, cheers, high fiving and eye rolling to be had. Along with an adult beverage for each of us and food. When the bill came and I asked what my share was, her answer was, "I'm buying because I missed your birthday and because I know what it's like to go home and eat crackers for dinner because that's what's available."

Shortly after I got home, Senora (my landlady) brought a plate of fresh chiles rellenos and rice for dinner.

Surrounded by love I am. :-)

The Yearling by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

I understand how this has remained a favorite over the decades. I fell utterly in love with the Baxter family, and although I saw the end coming, my hopes were that it would be otherwise.

Okay, well, LibraryThing ate my first review, and since I was flailing to write something reasonable, I'll just say this:

Rawlings deserved her Pulitzer for this wonderful book. Her writing is so evocative of the time and place in 1870s Florida where the Baxter family lives off the land, striving to make their farm provide the sustenance they require. There are the usual heartbreaking tragedies, including a near fatal snake bite, a flood which wipes nearly everything out and the nearest neighbors who don't view life in the same light as the Baxters.

Told over the span of a year, from the time son Jody Baxter adopts a young deer whose mother is killed in service to saving father Penny Baxter's life. The cycles of the season, the farm and life are caught as Jody, and his fawn, Flag grow together. Jody learns big lessons about life and death, as he mourns the changes that must be acknowledged in order to continue growing.

What a fantastic story!

I am also about to start The Yearling, Stephanie so let's compare notes.

Keep positive on the job front and I am sure all will work out just fine. xx

>34 AuntieClio: and >35 PaulCranswick: Oh - I've been wanting to re-read that one. I should see if I can join the two of you. I'm sure I can find a copy by tomorrow.

>33 AuntieClio: It sounds like you had a wonderful day, Stephanie - couldn't have happened to a more deserving lady.

I hope that the positive just goes on and on for you Steph!

I want to assure you all that I live far enough away from the epicenter of this morning's earthquake that I suffered no damage, aside from being waked at 330. Didn't realize it was so big until I read the news.

>17 ronincats: Hullo Roni!

>19 Whisper1: Hi Linda!

>20 TinaV95: Tina, I just can't even wrap my head around what happened. Plus, no statement like, "wow, I'm sorry this happened." Just ...

Lunch with a friend who gave me names of two other agencies to look into that seem more up my alley for the kind of work I'd like to do.

>22 scaifea: Amber! Hey ya

>23 mckait: Kath, yes you're right, good work places are hard to find and I don't understand that.

>24 jnwelch: Hi Joe, thanks. May is the purposeful read outside my comfort zone time, since I've decided to read non-US authors for my Thingadingy. However, in going through boxes, I come across books by authors I've not read but think I should. And then there's Scott's and Kevin's, "Oh, you need to read this!!!"

Not having money to spend on books has been good for me, because it's forcing me to read what I already have and there are many lovely discoveries with in.

>25 Ameise1: Hallo Barbara!

>28 ronincats: Roni, Bellwether was so much fun to read. I'm giving it to a friend in the hopes she will find it fun to read too.

>29 scaifea: Amber, thank you for your positive thoughts. I seem to have calmed down quite a bit from all the turmoil and stress. Of course, it's Sunday night, let's see what Monday has to bring.

>31 Ameise1: Barbara, what lovely lovely flowers to add to my thread. I'd love to live in the cottage in back and sit near an open window so I could look out and see the colors and smell their fragrance.

>32 Whisper1: Ah thanks Linda! I've discovered that what I say and think really can have an impact on my world, so I'm continually seeking ways to be more positive.

Since I stopped thinking/saying "I'm so tired," I've had much more energy. This weekend was fantastically productive.

I'm eager to have a job which pays well in a good environment which will allow me to stop worrying. ;-)

>35 PaulCranswick: & >36 thornton37814:
Paul and Lori, should we set up a discussion thread for The Yearling? I'm about halfway through and loving it.

The news from Napa and Sonoma north of me has not been cheery. Lots of damage and destruction done by this morning's earthquake. I remember what it was like in 1989, when that earthquake took a bridge out. Fortunately, it seems none of the bridges were damaged this time.

For those of us in Silicon Valley, the rolling that woke us at 3:30AM seemed no more than a run-of-the-mill 3.0 (very mild) quake. Most of us went back to sleep completely unaware that it was really a 6.0.

One of the televisions at the laundromat was tuned to the news so I learned about the damage that way. My heart goes to those in the area, hoping for a speedier recovery than 1989.

So glad to hear you are ok, Stephanie. And I'm even more glad that the positives keep rolling in now for you. :-) Hope the week ahead continues with good cheer and everything wonderful.

The excellent news is that no one was killed, though, right? Thank goodness for that.

Clio, very glad you had such a good weekend! And also very happy you loved Bellwether as much as I did. Willis has such a snarky sense of humor!

>46 AuntieClio: Quite happy t0 make my c0mments here Steph, Letter 0 playing up again!

>48 cameling: Thanks Caro, me too :-)

>49 scaifea: Amber, so far as I can tell there were no deaths due to the earthquake. Less than 100 injuries requiring attention at the hospital. Mostly property damage, and lots of wine spilled. Thank goodness for earthquakes which happen when nearly everyone is not out conducting the days' business.

>50 ronincats: Roni, I am all out of Willis to read now. Of the three I liked Bellwether best. I would love to put Doomsday Book at the top but the story set in contemporary in 2054 wasn't very good. The story about Kivrin in 1348 was fantastic!

I am loving The Yearling, it took just a few pages to get the feel for the dialect and the setting but once I did the story really took off.

I really like this family, the Baxters, that Rawlings has created. Just about every emotion has resonated true to me. From the contrast between the Forresters and the Baxters, to the relationship of Jody with his parents, especially his dad.

And Penny is such a good counterpart to Jody's mom. His honesty and integrity, and the lessons, he teaches Jody about dealing with people and respect for the land and animals is really nice to read.

I've just gotten past Oliver's fight with Lem, the rattlesnake bite to Penny, and Fodder-wing's death and think Rawlings got things right. These are tough lessons for kids to learn, but showing Jody's confusion as he works through them and arrives at a solution that works for him is solid.

Eager for the work day to end so I can do chores and get back to reading. :-)

The conversation at lunch about the book I'm reading included this:
"Oh, the Yearling? What's it about?"

"A family of farmers in Florida."

"They have farms in Florida?"

OMG The Yearling!! A watershed moment almost equal to Charlotte's Web!! (Which still makes me choke up to remember.)

*smooch*

I'm heading down into the stacks to pick up a copy. We supposedly have two on the shelf. Crossing my fingers!

>56 thornton37814: Lori, I'm hoping that you can catch a copy. I'm enjoying it so much!

>57 AuntieClio: Got it. One of the copies wasn't on the shelf, so I'll need to mark it missing so we can search for it.

Today is one of those days, and I am eager to be shut of them. In the meantime, I could use this.

>58 thornton37814: Oh yay Lori. Looking forward to reading what you and Paul have to say about it.

One of THOSE days indeed. *smooch*

Murder in America by Roger Lane (Mysterious Box 38) - TIOLI #19. Read a Book with a Noun in the Title (Murder, America)

The thing I've always liked about history is the stories. No matter how broad or narrowly focussed, the stories drag me in. There's a lot of statistical facts in Murder in America (blah blah blah) and a lot of extrapolating and what not. But what fascinated me were the cyclical trends and the anecdotal evidence used to back up Lane's speculation.

One of the trends I found really interesting is that as people become more educated, the murder rate goes down and the suicide rate goes up. Another is that it's really difficult to get a grip on the numbers because murders are often miscategorized depending upon the victim and, more to the point, his family and colleagues. Infanticide is still a big issue, with many deaths going unreported.

Lane's book is more of a meta-overview of the numerous books already available on the history of murder in the US. And, he sticks to the East Coast, particularly Philadelphia, pretty closely. I would have liked to read a more geographically inclusive study. This is not to say that the Southwest, the Plain states and the West were completely left out, but the stories for those parts of the country were pretty sparse.

Murder in America bolsters other arguments that murder is nearly always a male crime regardless of race or class. I found this an interesting, if occasionally dry, read.

>59 AuntieClio: Ahh -- to have a good soak can be next to heaven, eh? I carry most of my stress in my shoulders and neck. A good soak or time under the shower is sometimes the best medicine.

Sending big POSITIVE thoughts your way. Patience, my dear.

>63 michigantrumpet: I would love a good soaking. There's a great place in Palo Alto with private hot tubs, that I occasionally visit. It only takes money.

Another conversation with another person from HR, her name is (pronounced) Twee (does that make the correct spelling Thuy?). She gave me a pep talk saying, "I really want you to stay too." So she's also keeping an eye out for me and knows where some of the jobs get posted and is going to send me stuff to look at.

It just seems like I really belong at ITU. :-)

And thank you Marianne.

Here at passive-aggresive r us ....
My manager told the agency on Monday that my assignment had been extended until September 15. They, in turn, are supposed to tell me that it's been extended. But they have not.

Trying to pay my cell phone bill from the phone when the systems tells me it doesn't recognize my zip code. Meaning I have to talk to people! First person says, "Oh, hmm, that's the zip code we have on file for you. Let me transfer you."

Second person says, "Is there another zip code you could use?"
"no, nothing's changed since the last time I used the card."
"Well, maybe you should call your bank and ask them."
"Uhm .... no, nothing's changed. It's only your company that's having an issue."
".... have you tried paying online? ..."

Now why would I do that when you, the person at the computer ready to take my payment can't make it because of the same problem I encountered while trying to pay by phone? Is there not someone higher up the chain you could talk to about this? How about someone in Tech?

*grump*

At least I get to go straight home tonight. :-D

Sending good thoughts for you on the job front. So frustrating to feel so unsettled.

>66 SuziQoregon: Hi Juli, thanks for dropping in. It really is frustrating. I'm eager to have a steady job with steady income and employer provided benefits.

Adorable anglerfish reading.

>68 richardderus: the big teeth was me today as I continued to battle with the phone company and the bank. We finally got it figured out but I really did want to chomp on someone.

And ... thank you for the giggle Richard. *smooches*

De rien, ma amie.

((((Stephanie))))

I know you don't feel this way inside, but keep saying out loud "I will get this job. This job is mine." Say it, sister!

Now what kind of book do you want to read next and let me see what I have in my library that might could come your way...

>71 TinaV95: Oh Tina!!! I would love any kinda book you want to send me, especially if it's one you think needs to go to a loving home. :-)

I sent Thuy an updated resume and a really good (if I do say so myself) cover letter tonight. She had asked for clarification on what sort of job I am looking for and I spent all afternoon thinking about that.

At lunch Leslie told me that earlier in the week she had asked Matthew to send her the resume I used to apply for the job originally. She is going to pass it on to someone higher up the chain.

There are more and more guardian angels watching out for me every day there.

In Don news:
It's not so great right now. He traveled around Texas for two weeks visiting friends and family. During the second week, the fracture in his jawbone started acting up and he was barely able to eat. By the time he got back home last week, he was so weak he could barely get out of the airport wheelchair on his own. I helped him the best way I knew how to get in and out of my little Honda Civic and haul his two suitcases and one very heavy tote bag. (Insert rant about girlfriends who "forget" they said they would pick him up, or being too ill, take your pick. I'm grateful he texted me to pick him up but ...)

He was still so weak on Tuesday this week that he asked me to help him clean out his fridge and take the trash out. Then he asked I stay for a while as he ate crackers and hummus. I was *grumpy* that day so I had to work extra hard to keep an even keel, because no I do not want to help him with his trash.

His weakness has kept him from getting out and about as he is accustomed to which has made him feel really helpless and lonely. Today he told me he was feeling better and might be able to eat some semi-"real" food.

So the plan for tomorrow is to stop at the brand new falafel restaurant near work for take away and go hang with him for a while. Somewhere in there I'll need to get groceries for both of us.

I am ever grateful that I'm the one he's asking for help, but sad to know there's no one he trusts as much as me. Of course, knowing each other for over 30 years probably has something to do with that. I seem to be one of the very, very few who has no agenda other than to be there for him and help in whatever way I can. Sometimes I just want to wrap my arms around him and protect him.

Hey Stephanie! Sorry about your your job woes. Trust me, I REALLY can relate. I'm SO happy to have a job coming up, even though it's not in my own field! I think next time I apply (perhaps within a year or so), I will hire a professional to prepare my resume. I tried the whole read-a-book-and-make-changes thing. It didn't work. It's sad that we live in a world where we have to hire professionals for these things!

Of course, I think I depended too much on a strong resume and not enough on networking. I suck at networking. Learning to brand myself and network are the two things I want to do next year. (My other goals are to focus on books I already own, and series that I've already started; to continue my studies of theology and history of religion; to switch my blog over to Wordpress; and to do a full-length triathlon. (I'm not sure why you needed a list of my goals, but there you are!))

>73 The_Hibernator: Hey Rachel! I suck at networking too, it makes me so uncomfortable. and ooooh .... such a great list of goals especially the theology and history of religion part, those interest me too.

I have guardian angels watching out for me at my temp job, but it's tough being patient and not getting more than a little nervous while I don't have a permanent job yet.

We were very young when we met at a radio station in Lubbock, TX. Our early 20s, with everything ahead of us. We've been close friends from the day we met, two peas in a pod, so to speak. Now we are in our 50's and there isn't a day I'm not grateful for his presence in my life.

Don's hospice nurse just called to ask me to pick up a few things to help him. She's also called his mom who will come out for a while. He is still very weak and is having problems getting around his home. The nurse says it's not imminent, but she would feel better if there were people around who could help until his mom arrives.

I'm at work with a breaking heart, selfishly praying for more time, knowing that he is in so much pain it would be better for him to go. He's not ready, there will be claw marks on the door out. But goddess, I just ache right now.

Falafel delivery to Don for dinner tonight. He says he's feeling somewhat better but is still pretty weak. But he also said things are not as dire as his nurse made them sound. He assured me he was okay for the night and sent me home because I am really tired and will be heading to bed in a few.

I asked two things:
1) when people I don't know call on his behalf please have them say, "He's not dead" before they start talking to me. That way I don't freak out so badly.

2) tell the girlfriend to get over herself, he needs both of us in his life and he shouldn't have to be dealing with her issues with me. She needs to put her big girl panties on and acknowledge that I am not the evil harridan set on "taking her place."

So, things not fantastic but he's not circling the drain yet.

Stephanie, I wish you a relaxed weekend.

>76 AuntieClio: Hi Steph. I've been reading every unread post in your thread. You are such a strong and courageous woman. Keep looking at the bright side and I love it that you stopped the 'I'm so tired off...' thing. Very good.

And about # 2 in your post! That is an excellent point you are making there. I hope Don feels the same about it!

Sending all kinds of good vibes your way!!

Housekeeping:
Topper picture now added, taken by Jess at my birthday dinner.




*not so coyly points at the ticker*

>77 Ameise1: Barbara, I just love the purple!

>78 connie53: Connie, thank you, it's much appreciated.

It has been a bit of a chaotic weekend, I'm extremely grateful for another day off. The weather has been hot which has not helped my mood as I get stuff done.

Brunch with a friend yesterday, errands for Don, including fixing some soup for him. Phone call from his girlfriend which I am still mulling over. We were polite to each other.

Today, more errands. His mom arrived in the afternoon. Yes, he is still really weak. He is able to sip soup and drink Boost (a nutritional drink with extra protein) now. Today he drank two and said he was "stuffed."

Trying to be mindful of how to take care of myself during this time. And, of course, fitting some reading in.

Thank you all for your good wishes, positive vibes and support. I'm grateful to have found this group of people, and for each and every one of you. You make my life easier.

Hi Stephanie - just been catching up on your threads. You have a lot going on and I can only send more positive vibes your way. Sounds like I need to read The Martian, I'm coming across mention of it everywhere, cool that you scored a signed copy.

>82 avatiakh: yes, you need to read The Martian, says the resident space cadet!

>82 avatiakh: >83 drneutron: Yes, The Martian is a must read!

>81 AuntieClio: Stephanie, it is hard to be someone's rock when you don't feel secure yourself. I hope you have job security soon and I know all the help you give Don is tipping your karma scale in the right direction. Hang in there. : )

((((Stephanie)))) Do please remember to be extra kind to yourself as you are taking care of Don and stressing over work... He is a lucky guy to have had you in his life for so long. I can't imagine the pain you are in watching him as he declines. Take care of your body as your spirit aches. My heart is with you.

I will see what kind of mindless book I have on the shelf that I've enjoyed that could use a new home with you. :)

Things were slower today, felt less frantic. Out doing laundry in my jammies because, yes I really had no clothes. There was even time and space for a nap and reading!

Matthew said I could change my hours at work so I'm going in a half hour earlier. Hoping that this will make things feel more relaxed when I get home.

>83 drneutron: >84 Berly: Library request has gone in for The Martian.

Still no official word from the agency that I am still working until the 15th, so we've been making jokes about it. Matthew thought about calling and asking why I wasn't at work. There is an online timesheet for this week available so I told Matthew that apparently I'm the only one who doesn't know I'm supposed to be working.

Congrats on blowing past the 75 book mark, Stephanie!!

Talked to Don's mom yesterday and she was quite chipper. She has been able to help get some of the clutter cleaned up and to fix food for him. So relieved for her to be able to help.

>79 AuntieClio: ...daisies...trumpet...yeeesss? Clearly I'm not seeing something....

:-)

>91 richardderus: :-p

*smooch*

*hic*

>78 connie53: Hi Connie, thanks for your kind words and your visit.

Don agrees with me about the girlfriend but isn't quite sure how to get that point across to her. Over the years they've been together, I've been a big thorn in her side and nothing he's said or done has sunk in yet.

>82 avatiakh: Kerry! So glad to see you visit. And thank you for the positive vibes. I'll take whatever I can get.

>84 Berly: Berly, With the arrival of his mom, I feel much less stressed and frantic and very relieved. They've always gotten along really well.

And thank you for the good wishes. I know there's a job for me at ITU, they just haven't figured that out yet. :-)

>85 TinaV95: Tina, thank you so much. I made a big decision over the weekend about how to approach Don's eventual death which has given me much more peace and relief.

If you are of a mind, the sequel to Enchanted Inc. or the first of the Diana Rowland books wouldn't go amiss. But only if they are already on your shelves and looking for a loving home.

*hugs*

>89 ronincats: Thanks Roni! :-D

Book talk. I know that it's absolutely shocking there should be book talk on my thread. My current read Murder in America is fascinating. Not so much for the statistics (blah, blah, blah who cares) but for the trends from Medieval England through colonization and beyond it's interesting. There's even some theories as to why murder rates, and the types of murders change through time. I wasn't sure what I was letting myself in for when I picked it up, it's turned out to be a great read.

Okay this just happened and was completely awesome to listen to.

ITU has a policy that people not working for them must check in at the Front Desk first. I've seen several students walk into our office and get told to go back downstairs and check in.

A student just left our office after being told several times by several people that he would have to go downstairs and check in with the front desk. For about five minutes or so he tried to come up with as many reasons as he could for why he should be helped before he checked in at the front desk. Yet another awesome piece of amateur performance art.

I just don't get the girlfriend, Stephanie. She makes it so clear that to her, it's all about her and not about Don, and I don't get that when her boyfriend is dying.

>101 AuntieClio: Ha!

Our daughter is a true crime aficionado, Stephanie. I'm going to see whether she knows about Murder in America.

>102 ronincats: Roni, I don't either. She obviously has a lot of baggage she's carrying and is so insecure that she can't see how her actions are affecting Don. Yes, she has two low-functioning autistic sons who are about to age out of the system that she has been raising alone, and she gets ill frequently requiring antibiotics. But given that, and those are big things to be taking care of, it doesn't excuse her refusal to allow someone who is capable and willing to help. Don would rather it be me than just about any of his other friends.

I give her major respect for raising those two boys, and have just decided that the best compassion I can summon for her is that there's a need getting met with her behavior.

A friend keeps telling me she will be really glad when I no longer have to deal with the girlfriend any more. And his father.

>103 jnwelch: Joe, it would be interesting of Sherlock's food provider knew about it. I'd certainly like to know her thoughts about Murder in America, if she has.

>104 AuntieClio: She hadn't heard of it, Stephanie (Murder in America). She's going to look it up. Knowing her, she'll be reading it soon. She's seasonsoflove in the 75er group, btw: http://www.librarything.com/topic/163746.

ETA: Yup, she's enthused, and put it on her WL.

{{{Steph}}}

Sending you extra special and warmly positive thoughts today. Love that bit about the 'Do I really have to check in at the front desk?' performance art.

You make me smile.

>106 michigantrumpet: Hi Marianne! Was thinking about you this morning as I made sure I had singles in my pants pocket.

*hugs*

I am just ..... argh! I think that explains it. There have been so many new hires and departures this week and none of it has to do with me. One of the managers of another group asked for my resume and said if I didn't qualify for his opening, he would send it on to others.

HR finally told me where they are posting the job listings and only one of them seems to be of minimal interest and qualifications for me.

It's about a week before this extension is over. I overspent this week's paycheck because shoes and Harry Potter ... my plans for a quiet weekend have already been spoiled with something I won't say "no" to.

I have practically been begging the universe to send me a job ....

I belong at ITU, I know I do and I know I have a lot to offer and can do so many things ....

And I know, anything can happen in a week.

Argh ... argh ....

At least my Harry Potter DVDs were delivered today (or so the internet tells me) so when I finally arrive home I can watch one and have frozen pizza, visualizing the day it's pizza from my favorite place.

Stephanie, I wish you a fabulous weekend.

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami (gift) - TIOLI #10. Read a book that takes place in a country in which you have never set foot (Japan)

In truth, much of this book takes on an almost zen-like opaqueness,
a resistance to logical categories and syllogistic thinking. Certain
charged incidents and agents—confinement in the bottom of a well, a
missing cat, a debonair man who hasn’t spoken since age six, an
unlucky house, and the call of the recurring wind-up bird (yes, there
is one)—each add to the growing weirdness of the tale. And, as
always in Murakami, we have final resolution. But when you add it
up, the numbers don’t really compute—not the way readers have
come to expect from most novels. In a different age, this might have
been Oriental “otherness.” Then again, in the future they might just
label it as Murakami-esque.
Ted Giola - The New Canon

As I said to a friend recently, "Murakami is weird, and I love it!" There are so many bits and pieces running through The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle and a good 400 or so pages are spent wondering how they all fit together. And somehow, it all comes together and is almost nearly explained. Almost.

While understanding the references to Kafka, I see more Isabel Allende and Gabriel Garcia Marquez, than Kafka. Kafka is grim and cruel, with no brightness or hope. Allende, Marquez, and Murakami are less grim and lighter.

Although The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle has its own share of cruelty, usually contained within the stories of Lieutenant Mamiya, who opens up and recounts his time with the Japanese Army during the second Sino-Japanese War between China and Imperialist Japan. Mamiya was witness to some brutal things and experienced POW camp in Soviet Russia under a man called "Boris the Manskinner."

There's also the story told by businesswoman Nutmeg Akasaka about the Japanese Army's killing of zoo animals at the zoo where her father is the vet.

What these stories have to do with the protagonist, Toru Okada, is, at best, obtuse. There are similarities in the details within the stories and what's happening to Toru. But are they really happening to Toru?

And here we get to the crux of Murakami's work, the blurring of the lines between what's real and what might not be. Toru moves between realities looking for the connections to all the weird events going on in his life. Which reality is his? Are they all? Or is he yet another person who's gone off his nutter because he left his job, the cat ran away and his wife disappeared one day?

While a bit dense to read, there is a payoff. This is not to say that Murakami ties everything up in a nice bundle and presents it as a complete answer. But for fans of magical realism/surrealism, this book nearly completely satisfies.

Don's mom and I went to the grocery store together on Friday after work. Although not happy that her son is dieing, she is glad to be looking after him. They were always such a great pair.

And I got my relaxing weekend. Two days at home doing chores, reading and watching Harry Potter movies. Plus sleep, lots and lots of sleep.

Laundry tomorrow after work.

Glad you had your relaxing weekend. And lots of sleep. I could use some of the latter myself. Sending goof thoughts your way and to ITU--get a clue people! Hire this woman!!

So Don just told me to "put my big girl panties on and deal with it." I snorted loud enough to get the office's attention.

I can just imagine you did! What the hell?

I wonder about human nature some days.

We were texting about picking up some of my stuff that's in storage (namely grandma's trunk) and I told him it was hard for me to be asking right now.

That's when he told me what to do.

OIC

Well, I hope he meant it ironically. Pull the big-girl panties any higher & you'll suffocate on the damned things.

sheesh

>116 richardderus: --snork-- That was perfect, Richard! He obviously isn't appreciating all the juggling Stephanie is doing.

Hope things are going well! Fingers and toes crossed that a job will come through before next week.

>117 streamsong: Janet, Don is of the "ewwww emotions .... bluch .... get off me" school, so when I get sad and tell him I'm having a hard time with a situation his illness has brought up, he will be extra sarcastic. At least I haven't been the recipient of "*I'm* the one who's dying."

Work is a day by day thing right now.

Okay the "final" word from Matthew is that there isn't enough work to justify keeping me past the 15th. I kinda get the feeling there's really not enough work for me until then, but the 15th is definitely it with Matthew and the Registrar's Office.

I've already sent email to Leslie asking if there were other groups looking for a temp or a new hire.

I think I'm kinda relieved, things were so fraught that it will be nice not to worry about whether they're even going to interview me and then watch other people get hired. I know they don't know what they're missing out on by not hiring me and that I would have been a fantastic asset, still can be. For whatever reason, they chose other people for reasons that don't seem to really have anything to do with me. It still stings a tiny bit to come in every day and look at them knowing they got the opportunity I didn't.

I don't wish them ill, there's abundance enough for everyone and my turn will come. Soon, very soon, I hope. I am eager to continue getting a regular paycheck.

Stephanie, I keep my fingers crossed that everything is turning to the bright side. Hugs xx

Hope you enjoy The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Stephanie. I thought it was terrific.

Sending you good wishes in your employment search. I'm sure you'll find something very soon.

>120 Ameise1: Thanks Barbara :-)

>121 jnwelch: Joe, I'm enjoying The Wind-up Bird Chronicles immensely. I figured I would. Thanks for dropping in while you're off in London seeing the Queen.

>122 mstrust: Thanks so much. I know there's a job for me which suits my needs. I would very much like to have that job soon.

You will get the RIGHT job. You will get the RIGHT job. Just keep saying it with me!

>98 AuntieClio: So I don't have either one of those on my shelves (sorry!!). I borrow the Rowland books from the library because I had no idea how much I would love them. BUT... you should be getting a package from me by the end of the week. Nothing as good as the Zombie books, but it's what I could locate on the shelf for now. :)

Keep your chin high and walk out that door with grace knowing that they will soon realize that they let an incredible worker walk away.

((((Stephanie)))))

>124 TinaV95: "I will get the RIGHT job. I will get the RIGHT job." :-)

Tina, I am grateful for your generosity, and I love surprise packages in the mail.

This is truly the first time I KNOW they are missing out by not hiring me. No matter what happens next, the last two months have been a great affirming experience for me.

And *hugs*

Also, several people are unhappy I'm leaving. One made sure to tell me that Matthew always praises me and knows I'm a hard worker.

You are inspiring in your approach to all this. Keep those positive thoughts going, m'dear!

I just tried to explain Isaac Asimov's Catch That Rabbit to a non-science fiction reader.

"Oh ..... robots?" puzzled look

yeah, never mind

>127 michigantrumpet: awww thank you Marianne

The weekend approaches and it will not be as quiet as I want, but then that's been the way of things for a while now.

Groceries tonight, probably with Don's mom. Chores at home tomorrow, including clearing a path through the stacks of books to get grandma's trunk into my apartment. Sunday is set for retrieving grandma's trunk.

There's both good and not so good stuff going on. Practicing patience as I wait it all out.

Stephanie, I wish you a lovely weekend.

Don is now bedridden.

Stephanie, I'm so sorry to hear that. Hugs xx

>110 AuntieClio: that cover is so interesting! And it makes me want to read it, so I guess it is doing its job there. :)

And the indoor pool picture from way up appeals too.....

eta: >131 AuntieClio: just read further down your thread, and am so sorry to hear that your friends illness has gotten to this point :( Take care of you too, remember.

One thing I want to have happen before Don dies is to have a steady job with a steady income so he doesn't worry about me.

I'm so sorry about Don, Stephanie. Thinking of you both, as always.

Stephanie, I am sorry to hear about your friend Don. I am also hoping that you get permanent employment soon…for Don's peace of mind and your reward for patience and persistence. Hugs from Missouri!

Just popping in to say hi! Prayers for Don.

My heart goes out to Don and yourself dear Stephanie. Wishing you both the very best that can be.......for Don as little pain as possible and the continuation of all the love that he is so fortunate to have bestowed upon him by his good friends and for you that deserving break in your career that I am sure is there waiting to be yours somewhere close at hand. xxx

Continued thoughts & prayers for both you and Don. I will just second everything that Paul said so beautifully in >138 PaulCranswick:.

((((Stephanie))))

  

The Wolfman by Nicholas Pekearo - TIOLI #5. Read a book you didn't buy

If Stacia Kane's and Richard Kadrey's books got together and had babies, The Wolfman would be a product of that union. So gleefully dark, unrepentantly hard ass, The Wolfman is not your mama's werewolf.

Marlowe Higgins is straight up don't give a fuck material. His life is hard because well, serving in Vietnam and then becoming a werewolf just makes even the simple things more than a little difficult.

After having been on the road for years, Marlowe finally settles down in a small town. He gets a job as short-order cook at a diner, lives in a crappy house that was once owned by the town cat lady at the edge of town, and drives a truck that often has to be cursed at in order to bring it to life. He's also, somehow, become a kind of friend of the local sheriff. This is what is normal for Marlowe.

What's also normal is that once a month, Marlowe turns into a werewolf and kills. But this is not the werewolf story any of us grew up on. Marlowe's condition didn't come from a bite, and in a way, he's made peace with his beast and lets it loose only on people who "deserve" it. Until the serial killer comes to town and it all goes sideways.

As the pieces fall together, we also learn the story of how Marlowe became a werewolf, what it means to be a werewolf, and how one dies. All of these bits are original and creative. Nicholas Pekearo takes what we think we know about werewolves and turns it upside down.

I loved this book and read it in almost one sitting. I would give it at least 4.5 stars but for the fact that I had the bad guy figured out from about the second paragraph he was introduced. "Nah," I kept thinking, "that's so obvious, it's got to be someone else." This does not, however, detract much from what a lot of fun this book is to read.

Unfortunately, what could easily have become a series of Marlowe Higgins adventures will not come to pass. At least not with Nicholas Pekearo writing the stories. He was a volunteer with NYPD and was shot in the line of duty. The kevlar vest he paid for himself only stopped one of the bullets fired at him.

If you like grim, gritty urban fantasy with creative remaking of the established mythos, settle in for a good time with Nicholas Pekearo's The Wolfman.

Thank you Tina! This was the right book at the right time.

I don't have a lot to say right now. Today was the last day of my work assignment. The rest of the week will be devoted to resting, chores, and a few appointments. Mostly, I feel a deep abiding need for quiet and alone time, so that's what I'll be doing.

I am grateful for you all and your kind, loving words of support for both Don and I.

It is 1:03AM on Wednesday, september 17th and my dear friend Don just died.

Oh, Stephanie. I'm so sorry. You're in my heart, friend.

(((((Stephanie)))))

I am so very, very sorry.

Safe journey home, Don, and thanks for all that you did.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you today.

So sorry for your loss.

Coming back round to give you a mid-day hug...

I'm so sorry.

Stephanie, I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts. Hugs xx

Gentle journey to his spirit, and healing for yours.....hugs

Tributes are pouring in from all over on Don's Facebook page. Some had no idea he was even sick. I didn't know he was so well-known and universally liked.

Lunch with his mom today who is doing really well. She will fly home on Friday, as will his body. There's a graveside funeral planned in Lubbock, TX for Sunday. I will not be attending that, or any other communal grieving ceremonies.

The dispensation of the project with the radio and phone gear from earlier this year is being coordinated by a mutual friend who contacted me and asked how he could help. With Melissa's permission, I asked Eric to coordinate with another person and let me know, so I could be there to help them find the bins we inventoried.

Fingers are being pointed about things which are completely irrelevant. I found myself stepping back quickly so as to avoid being poked. Even his mom made a couple of cracks about Melissa which really surprised me. (Both the cracks, and that she made them.)

Except for what needs to be retrieved from his safety deposit box, I believe I have all the possessions I want. Once I am settled financially again, there's a tattoo which needs to be designed and done. We talked about what I had in mind the last time I saw him and he approved.

Of course, I am sad and I miss him. And I am relieved that he is no longer suffering the humiliation and pain which comes from having cancer. This is the second friend I've lost to this ugly, bastard disease. Please universe, no more.

Watching Don wither away was freakin' hard. Now he is jamming with a great blues band and eating really good barbecue, and I am happy thinking of him that way.

I want to thank you all, again, for your love and support while Don was so ill, and dying.

It doesn't seem like it's less than 48 hours since he left us, so much has happened. As expected, things are not going to end the way anyone would have liked with his possessions or his assets. There are people coming to me asking how they can help and I literally take a step back and put my hands up. "You'll have to talk to the girlfriend," I say.

While feeling awkward and ghoulish about it, Mom encouraged me to go through and take what I wanted. It's becoming clear that no one likes the girlfriend, and the list grows by the hour. It's also clear that his parents do not trust that anything logical, useful or sensible will be done with any of it. There seems to be no coordinated effort to make any sense of it.

And, as I promised myself, I am having nothing to do with it. At Mom's insistence, I have picked things that are useful (KitchenAide) and give me good memories of Don (all his scrub tops in colorful materials). I was urged to go through the pantry and the refrigerator as well. And while I felt awkward about all of this, there's the understanding that if I don't give it a good home, it might wind up in the rubbish heap. Which makes me flinch, and very, very sad.

And do not get me started about the guitar I wanted and how it wound up with the girlfriend. It just makes me gnash my teeth. In the end, it's just a thing and I have other memories I can cherish.

He was maddening to all of us, but he was also kind and funny and supportive. That was my friend, not the one in the hospital bed with breathing and eating difficulties.

So hard. So sad. {{{Stephanie}}}

Oh, boy. I'm sorry that it's not going very well. I'm glad to see that you've got such a healthy attitude about it all, though.

Thinking of you, friend.

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