New Year .. .. .. Jan 2022

God's Mum: To-day is the first day of January in the earthlings calendar year of 2022, dear. They see a new year as a fresh start and make nice wishes for one-another, dear.

God: Yes, that's true. It is a good time for them to think positive thoughts and move forward. It is sad to see so many of them wasting their time in useless prayer just because the Bishops encourage them to do it.

God's Mum: So, if you could make a wish for them, dear, what would you wish for them, dear?

God: I'd wish they would teach their children that a pair of hands open and ready to help others are far more use than hands pressed together in useless prayer.

==================================

God's Mum wants you to have your best year, ever .. .. .. Make it happen. 😎

God's Mum: Good morning, dear. The Pope is complaining, dear. He says that people do not care enough about The Holy Bible, dear.
Drink your tea, dear, and are you going to finish these cornflakes, dear?

God: Hmmmm?

God's Mum: Here's the way we described it back in Nov' 27th, dear: "The Bible. The ultimate mixture of comedy and fiction". But the Pope says it is a beautiful book full of wisdom, dear. He claims that if only people would just follow the bible they could live in peace, dear.

God: Hmmmm?

God's Mum: The Bishops say nobody cares about the Bible, dear. It's sales at bookshops are less than Wallace and Gromit, dear.

God: Wallace and Gromit ?

God's Mum: There ! You see? It's true, dear. Nobody cares about the Bible .. .. ..

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ "If Jesus Christ Almighty ever returns to Earth he will become an Atheist."

_{Credit: God's Mum©}

God's Mum: .. .. .. and then it goes on to say here in the earthling's Bible, dear, .. .. .. "Bartachin, Who begat Enceladus, Who begat Ceus, Who begat Tiphaeus, Who begat Alaeus, Who begat Othus, Who begat Aegeon, Who begat Briareus, Who Begat Bartachin, Who begat Enceladus, Who begat Ceus, Who begat Tiphaeus, Who begat Alaeus, Who begat Othus, Who begat Aegeon, Who begat Briareus, Who begat Ghislaine Maxwell, Who bega .. .. ."

God: Sorry to interrupt. Ghislaine Maxwell? Ghislaine Maxwell?

God's Mum: Not really, dear. I was just checking you were still awake, dear.

God's Mum: The Church of England is “not on the way out”, the Archbishop of Canterbury declared recently, dear. But he conceded that next year (2022) will mark 70 unbroken years of annual decline in the number of churchgoers, dear.

God: Wow ! clairvoyant as well as Holy?

God's Mum: In the wake of January 6, 2021, dear, a speaker in USA, Michael Flynn, the former national security adviser for the Trump administration was speaking at a church in San Antonio, Texas, when he said: “If we are going to have one nation under God, which we must, we have to have one religion. One nation under God and one religion under God.” ~ ~ What do you think, dear?

God: I can just see the headlines now: "Flying Spaghetti Monster Unites America". The USA is not my responsibility, it is 100% their own responsibility now.

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ In Jerusalem: In the year 01 AD, in the Cash Only Saloon, (Beer, Wines, Spirits served all day) adjoining the rear of the Holy Temple.

"Hallelujah ! Have you heard the good news? A new messiah has just been born in Bethlehem to great fanfares of trumpets and Gods Angels singing on high. There were great blessings of joy and glory shining all around." ( All lies, of course ! See: Dec' 25th)

"Oh yeah? I've never seen glory shining all around. Come to think of it, I've never heard or seen any of God's Angels either. So how much is that lot going to cost us?"

"But don't you understand? He hath come to set you free."

"Oh yeah? Hath he? So I won't have to go to work on Monday? And this messiah is going to pay King Herod all my taxes? and get those bastards at the temple next door off my back for local priest payments? I wish I had your confidence in bullshit, Bishop."

God's Mum: Something you could tell me, dear. In England, is there some reason why the Prime Minister has to be a Roman Catholic, dear?

God: Only if his new wife says so .. .. ..

God's Mum: It's only a gravestone, dear. Why do you keep reading it, over and over again, dear?

God: It says: "Here lies Howard Hidebetler, a Bishop and an Honest man."

God's Mum: Nothing wrong with that, dear.

God: Can that be legal? Three men in one grave?

God's Mum: You are looking perplexed, dear and you haven't drunk your tea, dear.

God: I am pondering, mother. You do not like my use of the word "Bullshit" and if I am honest I am not keen on it myself.

God's Mum: Then why use the word, dear?

God: Because, in my study of the Bible and the way it has been used by the church for years I can find no other word that truly encompasses the total fabrication and incompetent interpretation of the history.

God's Mum: How about "lies" or "mistakes, or "errors", dear?

God: They are all words that are too gentle to convey the manipulation by the church of data available. No, Bullshit is the only word that will fit, until we can find a more expressive term.

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ In Jerusalem: In the year 01 AD, in the Cash Only Saloon, (Beer, Wines, Spirits served all day) adjoining the rear of the Holy Temple.

"I'll have a pint of Abraham's Old Ale and a bacon sandwich."

"Sorry , The holy men say, God has forbidden us to sell bacon sandwiches."

"What? ~ Not more bullshit? ~ Why?"

"God only knows. I can make you a Cash-Only-Saloon Secret-Sandwich, they're very popular."

"What's in it?"

"Bacon."

God's Mum: Why do you think the church leaders of Biblical times told the earthlings they were forbidden to eat Pork or Bacon, dear? We know it did not come from God, dear.

God: Obviously financial reasons. Church leaders were probably all in the Camel and Sheep business. (Read about it here )

God's Mum: But the poorer families were missing out on a much needed food resource, dear.

God: Not the wise ones. Church leaders just told 'em the usual "It's an order from God" fairy story, to frighten 'em into obedience. Why should Church leaders care? This was money in their pockets.

God's Mum: And to think, through fear alone, it has continued for thousands of years, dear.

God: Exactly the type of psychological problem religion creates.

God's Mum: I'm reading a very sad tale about a man named Joseph who was searching for his long lost son, dear.

God. Hmmm ~ ~

God's Mum: His son was an unusual boy who fascinated earthlings, dear. He attracted a large following with his stories of truth and love. The people loved to hear him and he travelled through many lands, dear.

God: Hmmm ~ ~

God's Mum: Unfortunately the authorities were afraid of his popularity, dear, and one evening at supper with his friends they snatched him, dear. Joseph is afraid they tortured him and did away with him, dear.

God: Hmmm ~ ~

God's Mum: You know who I am talking about, don't you, dear?

God: Pinocchio?

God’s Mum: That was a bit nasty turning that nice lady into a pillar of salt, dear.

God: Mother, surely you aren't starting to believe things you read in the earthling's Bible?

God’s Mum: I'm just making breakfast chatter, dear. Do you think the earthlings actually believe some of those bible ~ stretchers ~, dear?

God: If it appeared in their morning newspaper they would laugh at it. Because it was written down by an idiot, more than 2000 years ago, and the Bishop talks about it, the gullible will believe it.

God's Mum: And these earthlings actually choose to love a creator who would do these dreadful things, dear?

God: It passeth all understanding, as the bible is fond of quoting. Any tea going?

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass: ~ If you can sell 'em God and The Bible you can sell 'em anything.

_{Credit Basil Faulty.}

God's Mum: So it has been decided that Jesus died on the cross on Sunday April 17, dear.

God: That doesn't sound accurate to me, somehow.

God's Mum: That is the Easter Day in 2022, dear. It says so in the earthling's newspapers, dear.

God: So that is the day of his Cruciversary. How come it get's moved around each year?

God's Mum: I don't know, dear. We will have to ask around, dear.

God: Do you think The Pope would know? That's probably his department.

God's Mum: Book of the Month ~ January. 2022 💙

The Blind Watchmaker: Why the Evidence of Evolution Reveals a Universe…
Richard Dawkins (Author) https://www.librarything.com/work/1576656/book/207857771

Reading Dawkins seems somehow more relevant and refreshing {now} than it probably was in the 80's when The Blind Watchmaker & The Selfish Gene were written. In a world where vaccines cause autism, climate change is a hoax and the Earth is still somehow f'ing flat (!), reading the thoughts of a purely rational & smart person is the brains equivalent of taking a big gulp of cold, spring water when you're dying of thirst.

The Selfish Gene is one of my favourite books and this one is not straying far from it in terms of it being a "pillar of belief" for my own conceptions of science and critical thinking.

💙💙💙💙💙 (5 stars)
_{Credit: @parzivalTheVirtual}

God's Mum: Lunch time, dear. What would you like, dear?

God: I'll have the same as you, please. I am watching a lecturer at the university. Here is a man with an honest face and genuine appearance telling a crowd of students, in a reasonable way, that he can walk on water. They are laughing at him and deriding him, as he knew they would.

God's Mum: What's his point, dear?

God: Then he asks them why they cannot believe he can do it, but they readily believe someone they have never met and probably did not even exist, did actually walk on water 2000 years ago? They cannot articulate an answer.

God's Mum: Brainwashing from an early age, dear?

God's Mum: Can it be true that Moses wandered around in the desert for 40 years, as told in the Bible, dear?

God: That rather depends on who wrote that piece of evidence down.

God's Mum: The bible says it came from many contributors, dear.

God: Were any of them in the desert with Moses?

God's Mum: That isn't at all clear, dear.

God: Say no more.

God's Mum: The goings-on in USA *Passeth all understanding*, dear. I am reading here of a Jan 6 rioter, now in court: "The defendant went on to compare himself to Jesus, saying he believes he brought about a "spiritual insurrection"", dear.

God: The court will crucify him, probably.

God's Mum: I don't think they do that anymore now, dear, not even in USA, dear.

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ "Now look here, Saint Peter. I was a Bishop. I came to your big pearly gates and you welcomed me in. I have been here for months and now I want to complain, not to you. I want to go to Big G."

"Well, Bishop, tell me what your complaint is and I will put it forward and get you an interview in His office."

"OK:

•It is boring here.

•It's badly organised.

•No daily worship.

•No dominance over underlings.

•No wine and bickies.

•No big mitre and pretty gown.

•I might just as well be in hell."

"Where do you think you are, then?"

God's Mum: Our library is getting very cluttered, dear.

God: That's what libraries do. That's why they are so enjoyable. I'll have it all in order again in a day or so.

God's Mum: I see you are reading The Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster again, dear.

God: Yes. I have been making a close study of it. When it comes to Wisdom, this book contains more Wisdom than all the earthling's other holy books put together.

God's Mum: Probably because it is the most up-to-date, dear. I'm so glad it is not in Latin, dear.

God's Mum: I'm sure the earthlings would embrace religion more readily if it were light-hearted, with some humour in it, dear.

God: Hmm. What would you suggest?

God's Mum: It's so hard to imagine the Bible characters, so beloved by the church, being capable of even a smile, dear. But it does need humour, dear.

God: Hmm? Humour? Let's look at what the Pope and his cardinals are wearing on stage. The big hats, the gold trim and the necklaces. You have to admit they are doing their best to make the whole world laugh.

God's Mum: Many leading characters in the Bible were prepared to murder their own children, dear. On an alter of sacrifice because of the imagined voices in their heads, dear. The chroniclers regarded it as a virtue , dear.

God: Much like today, the leaders were con-men. Telling their followers that "God told me to do so-and-so" would frighten the meek into conformity.

God's Mum: Leaders were always alone when God called, or "God spoke to them in a dream", so no witnesses, conveniently, dear. Confirmation-bias was something they used but did not understand, dear. Judging by what is written, most of those leaders were criminally insane by modern standards, dear.

God: Too true. If Jerusalem had built a secure lunatic asylum it is unlikely that the Bible would ever have been written.

God's Mum: It is astonishing, dear. And earthlings worshiped those characters, dear.

God: Some still do.

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ In Jerusalem: In the year 01 AD, in the Cash Only Saloon, (Beer, Wines, Spirits served all day) adjoining the rear of the Holy Temple:

"Listen! It's January 25. It's a month today since Holy-Joe-next-door said that his messiah was born in the stable in Bethlehem. (See here) So it is a big deal, because it means we are now into the year 01 AD. That's Anno Domini."

"You've got that wrong for a start. It's year 02 AD."

"How come?"

"Because the kid was born December 25 last year, so this is the second year."

"But that was only a month ago today, surely."

"DONT call me Shirly, you *☪☸🔯*🕎#♈* idiot"

"Here they go again! . . Barman! . . Throw these two out, stop all this noise."

"Look! I've got a crowded bar to run. Leave me out of your stupid talk. I don't care who Anno Domini is, so long as he pays for his beer."

* * *
Note: You have just witnessed one of the first arguments this nonsense caused for the next 2022 years.

God's Mum: Our library is looking better organised again, dear, you have worked hard on the cataloguing, dear. Still a way to go, though, dear.

God: It is always an enjoyable on-going task, but we are both too busy. We need to place an ad' on LibraryThing to find someone to admin' the God's Mum Library for us.

God's Mum: Now that's a good idea, dear. We could do with some help around here, dear, (I'm turning into a poet, dear). I had not realised we had so much work by Spike Milligan, dear.

God: All mine I'm afraid, I love his quotes and his humour, he says:

"There ain't no answer. There never was an answer. There never will be an answer.
That's the answer.

_{Credit: Spike Milligan.}

God's Mum: Circumcision, dear. Earthlings mutilating their own children, dear? * It passeth all understanding *, dear. Who speaks up for the babies, dear?

God: Certainly one of the lowest points of human behaviour. Unnecessary cruelty to satisfy their own selfish guess-work. What possible justification can there be?

God's Mum: Why do they do such awful things to young babies who cannot protect themselves, dear?

God: It's because babies cannot protect themselves or run away or fight back. They put their simple trust in the parents and that's the way they are rewarded. Very sad.

ETA:
https://www.secularism.org.uk/opinion/2022/01/recent-studies-agree-the-risks-of-...

God's Mum: At a party in Dallas, Texas, recently, dear, a devout party-goer turned 10 pints of water into wine when the hosts wine supply had run out, dear.

God: That must have helped the party along with a swing, good for him/her. What did the press have to say about it?

God's Mum: This is 2022 (CE), dear. It's not 22 AD, dear, the newspapers didn't report it, why would they, dear? It's no big deal, is it?

Laughter is the Best Medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ "The Bible cannot be the word of God because it is a translation.

The word of God would have been in English in the first place."

_{Credit: Spike Milligan.}

I don't make this stuff up.

Every conversation posted here in God's Mum is a genuine overheard snippet passed on to me by a part-time servant who mows God's Mum's grass.

Sworn on Cardinal Pell's Holy Bible. Oct 2018.
See: "Come home Cardinal Pell".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Minchin

* * *
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-60070132
Catholic Church clerical sex abuse. The BBC.

Former Pope Benedict XVI has admitted providing false information to a German inquiry into clerical sexual abuse.

Benedict, who resigned as the global leader of the Roman Catholic church in 2013, said on Monday that he had attended a meeting with local church officials in 1980 to discuss a suspected* paedophile priest. He blamed a previous written statement to German investigators – in which he said he was absent from the meeting – on an editorial error.

* Convicted but not removed.

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ ~ "Gods do not write books."

_{Credit: God's Mum©}

Your posts to @PinkSeeSaw wall. 😎

We love all your irreverent gags and ideas sent by private message to our wall, please keep 'em coming. If you don't see them used, hang on, they almost certainly will be soon. Our tiny team have a lot of fun reading and adapting as requested.

* * *
Thanks for sharing God's Mum all the way through January 2022. One post each day.

A new topic: TODAY ~ 💛 ~ After that .. February 2022 (Here) takes over now.

God's Mum looks forward to seeing you there .. ..