After that .. .. .. Feb 2022

God's Mum: It's February already, dear. That means Saint Valentine's Day is looming, dear.

God: Saint Valentine has his own day on the earthling's calendar? He must be very big, who does he play for?

God's Mum: You've never heard of Saint Valentine, dear?

God: No, never. Should I have? The idea of dead mortals being elected by the church leaders as "Saints" is such medieval nonsense.

God's Mum: Come away from the window, dear. I'm sure that nice man with the mower is listening, dear. Give him a friendly wave, dear.

https://www.librarything.com/topic/337102#7739731

God's Mum: Most religious leaders ( you call them all Bishops, dear.) spend a lot of time listening to their learned Scholars telling them about God, dear. Who are these learned men, dear?

God: I really do not know. But you are right, they do get listened to a lot and dictate the path that many particular faiths adhere to. But "scholar" suggests "study". What do these men spend their time studying?

God's Mum: Books dear. All study is centred around the written word, dear.

God: Who writes those books?

God's Mum: It can only be other men, dear. Other scholarly learned men, dear.

God: So we complete the circle. It's called The Blind Leading The Blind, there is positively no God involved, Gods do not write books.

God's Mum: The earthlings church leaders are in uproar, dear.

God: Yes, they usually are. What is upsetting them this time?

God's Mum: A new painting in the National Gallery, dear. It shows a group of angels at a holy scene all wearing Covid masks, dear. The Bishops are complaining, "Whoever saw an angel wearing a covid mask?", dear.

God: Whoever saw a holy angel without one?

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ "I think I just about believe in God. I don't trust anyone who works for him, though."

_{Credit: Suspected.Spam, LibraryThing.}

God's Mum: You should be flattered, dear, the number of earthlings who believe that evolution is your doing, dear.

God: I am really flattered. Firstly, because evolution is so wonderful and secondly, that it had been going on for millions of years before you and I existed.

God's Mum: And yet, dear, there are still earthlings who believe that you are sitting here recording in a little book how many bacon sandwiches they consume, dear.

God: *It passeth all understanding*. After all these years of human evolution since Lucy.

God's Mum: Eggs and bacon for breakfast, dear. I see you have been working hard on our library, dear.

God: E & B ! Thank you. I enjoy re-arranging the shelves. Finding all the old favourites. Then after flicking over a few pages, it's hard for me to remember I'm there to work, not to read.

God's Mum: It is all looking wonderful, dear. Can I ask you, dear, would it be possible to put all the Mark Twain books on a lower shelf to make them easier for me to reach without the steps, dear?

God: Will do. One miracle at a time, though, mother. Any toast going?

God's Mum: Thank you for my coffee, dear. Here is the info' you asked for on Saint Valentine, dear:

"St Valentine is commemorated in the Anglican Communion and the Lutheran Churches on February 14. In the Eastern Orthodox Church, he is recognized on July 6; in addition, the Eastern Orthodox Church observes the feast of Hieromartyr Valentine, Bishop of Interamna, on July 30.

In 1969, the Roman Catholic Church removed his name from the General Roman Calendar, leaving his liturgical celebration to local calendars, though use of the pre-1970 liturgical calendar is also authorized under the conditions indicated in the motu proprio Summorum Pontificum of 2007.

The Roman Catholic Church continues to recognize him as a saint, listing him as such in the February 14 entry in the Roman Martyrology, and authorizing liturgical veneration of him on February 14 in any place where that day is not devoted to some other obligatory celebration, in accordance with the rule that on such a day the Mass may be that of any saint listed in the Martyrology for that day, dear. Further it is said . . . . . "

God: Please stop mother! You have me crying with laughter ~ ~ Please stop it ~ ~ He was only a Bishop, you know ~ ~ Gasp ~ ~ Giggle. Who writes all that ChurchTalk?

God's Mum: Maybe an App is available to convert ChurchTalk into English, dear.

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass: ~ Praying is like a rocking chair - - it'll give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere.

_{Credit: Gypsy Rose Lee.}

God's Mum: Listen, dear: The weight one evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram, dear. Did you know that, dear?

God: That's it ! From next week all the Spike Milligan in our library is going up to the top shelf out of your reach ~ ~

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God's Mum: I saved this to read to you, dear. About The sisters of Mother Theresa, dear. It says here, dear:

The sisters didn’t waste time fixing, controlling, or even needing to understand what is wrong with others. Instead, they put all of their time and energy into letting God change them. From that transformed place, they serve and carry the pain of the world, which they are convinced is the pain of God.

God: Thank you for saving it. A typical piece of meaningless ChurchSpeak. Is it any wonder religion is in such a mess? I think the only word is B......

God's Mum: I interrupted just in time, dear. From that transformed place, dear, Can I get you a convincing, pain-free cup of tea, dear?

God: Now you are talking my language, yes please.

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_{Have you seen a good example of ChurchSpeak lately? Copy it to God's Mum and we'll share it.}

God's Mum: The Bible clearly states that Jesus was a Jew, dear.

God: It certainly does and he certainly was. Why do you mention it?

God's Mum: If Jesus was a Jew, dear, how come he had a Mexican name, dear?

God: You've been reading my Spike Milligan haven't you?

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God's Mum: Book of the Month. ~ February. 2022 💙

Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space by Carl Sagan.
https://www.librarything.com/work/57246/reviews/211194871

Yet another great book by Carl Sagan.
Carl Sagan's writing gives that sense of awe about the wonders of our world, that you could have never imagined while preoccupied with your daily grind.
It makes you feel like a child again, when you first had those science classes and you'd be fascinated by all the planets, stars and galaxies.
The experience is truly humbling and rewarding.
What would I give to get an updated version of this book by the same author; sad he's no more. He'd have been amazed by the new discoveries made by Cassini, Voyager, Curiosity and various other missions.

💙💙💙💙💙 (5 stars)

_{Credit: @Govindap11 LibraryThing.}

God's Mum: Charles Robert Darwin FRS FRGS FLS FZS; dear. He was born on this day, 12 February 1809, dear, and lived until 19 April 1882. He was an English naturalist, geologist and biologist, best known for his contributions to evolutionary biology, dear.

God: What a genius. Probably one of the most important men who ever lived. His proposition that all species of life have descended from common ancestors is now widely accepted and considered a fundamental concept in science. In a joint publication with Alfred Russel Wallace, he introduced his scientific theory that this branching pattern of evolution resulted from a process that he called natural selection.

God's Mum: That is very true, dear and he went on to say that in the struggle for existence there is a similar effect to the artificial selection involved in selective breeding, dear. Darwin has been described as one of the most influential figures in human history, and he was honoured by burial in Westminster Abbey, England, dear.

God: Darwin published his Theory of Evolution with compelling evidence in his 1859 book On the Origin of Species. By the 1870s, the scientific community and a majority of the educated public had accepted evolution as a fact. These are the men the earthlings should be celebrating and naming days on their calendar to commemorate. Not the so-called saints.

💛💛💛 ❤❤❤ IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY ❤❤❤ 🧡🧡🧡

It is a wonderful, wonderful life
On a wonderful, wonderful planet
It is the only life you will ever have
So take care of one-another
It is later than you think.

_{Credit: God's Mum©}

God's Mum: Now what are you laughing about, dear?

God: The Vatican has just returned a copy of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster it had ordered from Amazon.

God's Mum: It is very commendable that the Vatican decided to include that Bobby Henderson book in it's library, dear. Good to see they are taking an interest in the "real world", dear. Why did they return the book, dear?

God: The Vatican wanted it in Latin.

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On Feb 24 and every month thereafter, God's Mum will feature an item of ChurchSpeak. These are unedited passages written in such obscure church language that they are unintelligible, clearly demonstrating that the writer is unable to communicate in the real world.

Religion never intends to be humorous, that's what makes it such a laugh. 😎

God's Mum: There is talk that McDonald's have asked the Pope to change the wording of The Lord's Prayer, dear. They want to change it from:

"Give us this day our daily bread."

to:

"Give us this day our daily burger."

What do you think, dear?

God: Clever advertising. I wouldn't worry if I were you, by the time The Vatican makes up it's mind, burgers will be history. Shall we eat out this evening, mother?

God's Mum: So tell me all about Jonah, dear. The one you saved after he lived for three days and three nights in a whale's stomach, dear.

God: Total nonsense. Never had any dealings with the man or the whale.

God's Mum: But it says here in the Bible, dear, that Jonah was fleeing from your wrath when he was swallowed, dear.

God: Can it be possible that earthlings are wasting what should be wonderful lives trying to find meaning in this drivel? Just because it was scribbled in some scroll somewhere thousands of years ago by a not-very-bright-scribe?

God's Mum: * It passeth all understanding * dear. I thought it sounded a bit fishy, dear.

God's Mum: What do you think of this news bulletin, dear?

https://edition.cnn.com/2022/02/14/us/pastor-invalid-baptisms-resignation/

A pastor baptized people for decades using one wrong word. Now those are all considered invalid
By Chuck Johnston and Steve Almasy, CNN

A Catholic priest has resigned after a church investigation found he performed invalid baptisms throughout most of his more than 20-year career, according to Bishop Thomas Olmsted of the Diocese of Phoenix.

Father Andres Arango, who performed thousands of baptisms, would say, "We baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." But Olmsted explained the words "We baptize" should have been "I baptize" instead.
"The issue with using 'We' is that it is not the community that baptizes a person, rather, it is Christ, and Him alone, who presides at all of the sacraments, and so it is Christ Jesus who baptizes," Olmsted wrote in a message to parishioners posted last month.

God: Oh dear ! Oh dear ! Oh dear ! Whatever shall we do? It is surly the end of the world.

God's Mum: Do you not feel, dear, as the Bishop says, dear, "It is Christ Jesus who baptizes", not Father Andres. Therefore the fault lies with Jesus, dear.

God: OK, lets see if the Bishop has the courage to suggest that Jesus should resign.

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass: ~ "No being has ever existed who could fulfill all the imaginary qualifications needed to enter the church's imaginary heaven."

_{Credit: God's Mum©.}

God's Mum: Breakfast, dear. Honey-nut cornflakes with lots of strawberries, dear. What are you reading this morning, dear?

God: Thanks for breaky. I am reading about that wonderful man, Desmond Tutu of Africa. Like so many other mortals of wisdom, he had a technique of laughing up his sleeve at the Christian Church. This is a lovely quote:

"There is a story . . . . which is fairly well known, told about when missionaries first came to Africa, that they had the Bibles and we, the natives, had the land. And then they said, "Let us pray" and we dutifully closed our eyes. And when we opened them, why, they had the land and we had the Bible."

_{Credit: Desmond Tutu.}

God's Mum: That was very vengeful what you did to Sodom, dear. Crushing the whole city and killing all the earthlings who lived there, dear.

God: Not me. Never been there.

God's Mum: The Bible says that's what you did, dear. But you saved Lot and his wife and daughters because they were pure, dear. Which turned out to be very poor judgement in the light of what they got up to after his wife died, dear.

God: Why? What did they get up to?

God's Mum: I'll tell you when you are a grown-up, dear.

God's Mum: Here's a cup of tea for you, dear. I have heard that McDonald's are not giving up on the idea of changing The Lord's Prayer wording, dear. >16 PinkSeeSaw:

God: Ahhhh! A cup of tea, thank you. So what are McDonald's up to now?

God's Mum: They have offered the Pope and his top Cardinals new sets of stage costumes, dear. Gorgeous frocks with huge sleeves, even bigger hats with gold trim and longer gold necklaces, dear.

God: Very smart thinking by McDonalds. Just the area those Vatican guys are most serious about. Watch this space.

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God's Mum: Did you notice the earthling's calendar date today, dear? 22 02 2022, dear.

God: You couldn't write that backwards, could you?

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-60070132
Catholic Church clerical sex abuse. The BBC.

Former Pope Benedict XVI has admitted providing false information to a German inquiry into clerical sexual abuse.

And it came to pass ~ Former Pope Benedict XV1 would like to apologize for his previous apology.

Do you understand ChurchSpeak? 😎

Herewith an example of ChurchSpeak:

Pope Francis opens Vatican priesthood conference by upholding celibacy as a 'gift' ~ Pope Francis met with Cardinal Marc Ouellet, prefect of the Congregation for Bishops, as he arrives to open an international symposium on priesthood at the Vatican.

Pope Francis kicked off a much anticipated three-day Vatican conference on the future of the Catholic priesthood by upholding clerical celibacy as a "gift" that should be lived out through "healthy relationships."

"Celibacy is a gift that the Latin Church preserves, yet it is a gift that, to be lived as a means of sanctification, calls for healthy relationships, relationships of true esteem and true goodness that are deeply rooted in Christ," Francis told some 400 Catholic bishops, priests and theologians attending the conference in Rome.

"I would also add that when priestly fraternity thrives and bonds of true friendship exist, it likewise becomes possible to experience with greater serenity the life of celibacy," said the pope. "Without friends and without prayer, celibacy can become an unbearable burden and a counter-witness to the very beauty of the priesthood."

A book was released ahead of the Vatican's 2019 synod on the nine-nation Amazon region, which among other proposals, considered the ordination of married men to minister in the remote region. Despite more than two-thirds of the synod's members voting in favor of the proposal, Francis has declined to respond to it directly, instead creating a special body tasked with implementing its proposals.

The pope has previously said he is not in favor of completely abandoning the church's discipline of celibacy, but would be open to allowing older married men to be ordained to the priesthood where there is a "pastoral necessity."

Yet despite touching on the sometimes-controversial issue of the all-male, celibate priesthood, the pope's nearly hour-long address steered away from hot-button theological issues and instead focused on his desire for priests to be pastors who model God's "compassion and tender love."

Francis structured his remarks on what he described as the "four forms of closeness" that should define the attitudes and lifestyles of priests: a closeness to God, the bishop, other priests and to people.

The 85-year-old pope said his reflections may be the "'swan song' of my own priestly life."

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Meanwhile, back in the real world ...

God's Mum: It is hard to understand earthlings killing other earthlings for what they imagine is Blasphemy, dear. What are they talking about, dear?

God: Ahh yes. Blasphemy. Another way of saying Human Sacrifice. There cannot possibly be a genuine case of blasphemy.

God's Mum: But religious zealots seem to find quite a lot of it to persecute, dear.

God: Because that is the way * The God Industry * works.
Every case of blasphemy has to be proved in court. If the defendant goes into court and states that god is a total waste of time. Is that blasphemy?

God's Mum: It seems to be what * The God Industry * Church is claiming, dear.

God: And if god doesn't turn up in court to fight his case, how can the defendant be guilty?

God's Mum: Good morning, dear. Some tea and toast for you, dear.

God: Thank you, I will enjoy that. Very sad loss of life and loved ones in Ukraine.

God's Mum: We watched this all before in 1937 didn't we dear? Exactly the same, dear.

God: We did. This time it is a devout Christian leader and a devout Christian nation who are killing hundreds in the name of their cause. I do hope the world's Christians are taking note.

God's Mum: I believe their eyes will be looking the other way, dear.

God: I fear you will be right:

Goodbye Ukraine.

Goodbye Europe.

Goodbye America.

God's Mum: Church leaders worldwide have asked congregations to pray for peace in Ukraine, dear.

God: Well, we knew they would, did we not? I am impressed by the response of one LibraryThing member (who shall be nameless).

God's Mum: What was the member's comment, dear?

God: Member comment: "Typical! Sit in church with your eyes closed and your hands clasped and ask God to do what you should get off your backsides and do for yourselves."

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ Booking the Last Supper:

"Hello. We want to book a supper meeting for Jesus and his disciples, landlord. We will need a table for 26 persons."

Landlord: "But there are only 13 of you."

"Yes, but we have a painter, Leonardo, who is coming to paint a picture of our meeting, so we all have to sit on one side of the table. "

https://www.librarything.com/ngroups/640/Happy-Heathens

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Thanks for sharing God's Mum, one post every day, all the way through February 2022.

A new topic: TODAY ~ 💛 ~ March On: .. .. 2022 takes over now. See here

God's Mum looks forward to seeing you there