Dianeham reading the night away

My name is Diane. I live at the southern most tip of nj - 1/2 mile from the Delaware Bay. I’m retired. Before I retired I was the systems/network librarian for the local library system. I tend to stay up all night and sleep past noon.

I read a variety of stuff - literary fiction, some mystery, science fiction and poetry.

The Delaware Bay

Books read so far this year:

January
Death Writes ⭐️⭐️⭐️
All the Sinners Bleed ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Lost and Wanted ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Tree and The Vine ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Day of the Triffids ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
House on Endless Waters ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Deep ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I Who Have Never Known Men ⭐️⭐️⭐️

February
How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
The Killer Inside Me ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
1,000 Recordings to Hear Before You Die: A Listener's Life List ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
The Ploughmen ⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
When We Cease to Understand the World ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
This Is the Honey: An Anthology of Contemporary Black Poets ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Naked for Tea: Poems ⭐️⭐️1/2
Women Talking ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Listening Walls ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

March
Auguries of Innocence: Poems ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thousand Cranes ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I decided to read a book published each year since I was born. Here’s what I’ve done so far…

The Martian Chronicles (1950) read 12/2023 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2 stars
The Day of the Triffids (1951) read 1/2024 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Killer Inside Me (1952) read 2/2024 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thousand Cranes (1953) reading 2/2024 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Tree and the Vine (1954) read 1/2024 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

For 1955 I am leaning toward The Chrysalids which would make 2 books by John Wyndham who I never read before this year.
1956 - A Dram of Poison
1957 - Owls Do Cry
1958 - A Case Of Conscience
The Listening Walls (1959) read 2/29/2024 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Welcome!

>4 drneutron: Thank you Doctor! Need a little more conversation than I was getting elsewhere.

>4 drneutron: I was reading your profile. I have another online friend who lives in Maryland and he too is a physicist. How weird is that?

That's a beautiful photo, Diane. Dropping my star.

>7 labfs39: Thank you, friend.

I am currently rereading Thirteen Ways of Looking - short stories by Colum McCann. When I read this eight years ago I gave it five stars and wrote that it was one of the best books I ever read. Now I remember nothing about it so I’m rereading it - hoping I still feel the same.

Also reading:

Samuel Johnson Is Indignant by Lydia Davis
Before the Big Bang: The Origin of the Universe and What Lies Beyond by Laura Mersini-Houghton

I have a few poetry books I am perusing - I’ll mention them as I read them.

Welcome, Diane. I love the photo at the top! You live in a beautiful place.

You've had a great start to your reading this year. I'm glad you are joining us here. It is a pretty social group.

>1 dianeham: Lovely topper, Diane.

I thought it was a great idea to start your thread on 29 Feb!

Welcome Diane!

>10 BLBera: Thanks. We do live in a beautiful place. I need to get out more.

>11 PaulCranswick: thank you. It was a good idea but then it took me three days to do it.

>12 banjo123: thanks. Nice to meet ya!

Welcome, Diane . Happy New Thread!

Happy first thread, Diane!

I'm also in NJ, but farther north -in Essex County.

The photo of Delaware Bay is lovely. Not enough people know how beautiful this state is 🙂

>15 katiekrug: Thank you, Katie. Pleased to meet a fellow New Jerseyan.

Hi Diane. I too am somewhat familiar with your neck of the woods. I lived in Delaware and just across the border in Pennsylvania for 30+ years, until 2021 when we moved to Northern Virginia. These days I am more familiar with the NJ Turnkpike since we take that route to visit our daughters who live in Brooklyn. I'm sure your part of NJ is much nicer. 😃

Welcome to the group!

>1 dianeham: What a wonderful topper!

>2 dianeham: You have been reading some excellent books this year.

>17 lauralkeet: I hear Brooklynn is pretty nice these days. I grew up in Southwest Philly - right on the edge of Delaware County. But only went to Delaware a couple of times.

>18 figsfromthistle: thank you. Will look for your thread to see what you’ve been reading.

This is a very friendly group. Thanks for the warm welcome.

>6 dianeham: Cool! Though in fairness, I'm mostly an engineer. :) Any idea where they work?

>20 drneutron: He was in the navy on a nuclear sub in San Diego. He left the navy (after maybe 8 years), lives in Maryland and works at the pentagon. He doesn't work as a physicist anymore either afaik.

Got it. I've not done any nuclear reactor work to speak of - once looked at a concept for a reactor powered spacecraft. Mostly used my physics degrees dealing with radiation in space and how it affects materials and electronics. Left that for spacecraft engineering a couple of decades ago.

>19 dianeham: Like anywhere in the New York City area, it has its nice and less nice parts. Much of it has gentrified. My daughters are in their late 20s/early 30s, and can't afford the gentrified neighborhoods but still live in decent areas.

Continuing the Philly area discussion, when we lived in PA we were first in Chester County near Longwood Gardens. After retiring we spent three years in Center City hoping to live a more footloose lifestyle, but the pandemic put the kibosh on that and we also realized we needed green outdoor spaces.

>22 drneutron: that’s so cool. I had pre-engineering calculus based physics in college at Drexel in Philadelphia but then I decided against engineering and went to film school at nyu. With my credits from Drexel, I was the only film student with a math & science minor.

>23 lauralkeet: from 1986-1988 I live in Washington Heights 187th st. Longwood Gardens is great. I lived in different parts of Philly until I was 35.

Even from Central Maryland, we're Longwood Gardens members, love to go three or four times a year!

Hi Diane, thanks for leaving crumbs on my thread so I could find you.

>1 dianeham: So beautiful.

>3 dianeham: I may steal this idea, I love it.

>9 dianeham: Noted the Colum McCann book.

Hi, Diane...I've starred your thread and look forward to following along with your reading and chatting.

>27 Caroline_McElwee: The book for each year of my life idea is something I read somewhere on LT but I don’t know where. Thanks for stopping by. You’re the best.

At the Delaware bay in >2 dianeham:
There are two nesting bald eagles who have been there for a few years. My husband goes to visit them almost daily.


Today someone (not us) saw two juvenile bald eagles there at the bay. I’m so excited. This picture was taken by a local and posted on facebook. Please don’t copy it.

>30 dianeham: Nice story and possibly the progeny of the same acquaintances of your husband.

>31 PaulCranswick: They must have had 2 hatchlings at the same time. I read they can have 1 to 3 in a clutch.

>30 dianeham: That is so cool, Diane. I'm happy to discover another bird nerd here. Have you "met" Mark (@msf59) yet? He's the ultimate bird dude in the 75ers and posts lots of photos on his thread.

I follow a local nest cam for the Dulles Greenway Eagles (on FB: https://www.facebook.com/EaglesGreenway). I volunteered as a nest cam chat moderator during the cam's first year (2022), and have been an avid watcher ever since. There's been a lot of drama on the nest this year and it's highly unlikely there will be any little ones. If there's one thing I've learned from this, it's that nature is not Disney. Weird, unpleasant, and sad things happen. But watching and learning can still be fascinating.

Welcome to the 75, Diane. Happy New Thread. Love the Delaware Bay topper and the glorious bald eagle pics. Glad you are able to see them regularly. We have a pair nesting nearby but I have not been over to see them.

I also remember really enjoying Thirteen Ways of Looking. I hope the reread works for you.

>33 lauralkeet: thank you, Laura. I know Mark from a poetry thread we have over in Club Read. But thanks for the reminder - I went and gave him this link. I can’t go see your nest cam because facebook is down but I will. Is it eagles?

>34 msf59: Thanks for the welcome. Glad to hear you enjoyed the McCann.

I usually stay awake most of the night and go to sleep anywhere from 3am to 7 am. I fell asleep earlier last night but was awoken at 2am by my husband arguing with Alexa the amazon ai. He had to get up super early today and couldn’t sleep. He wanted alexa to play music to sleep by but the volume was really loud. So then I was awake a couple hours. I woke up around 8am and couldn’t sleep anymore. So I’m awake now and drinking coffee. Facebook is down and when I thought it was just me I changed my password so now when it comes back up, I won’t know what password to use.

I did read a book last night - Dream Drawings: Configurations of a Timeless Kind by N. Scott Momaday - it’s a book of poems and it was great.

>3 dianeham: Oo, I like the idea of reading a book published each year since I was born! Maybe a challenge for next year for me. . .

>30 dianeham: Love the pictures! Thank you for sharing them.

Welcome to the group! I hope that you feel at home here.

>35 dianeham: is it eagles?
Yes, there's been a pair nesting at this location for several years (probably not the same pair), but this is only the third year with a nest cam.

Hello Diane - I jumped over here from the Questions for the Avid Reader thread. I just wanted to say 'hi,' and say that I like your idea of reading a book from each year since you were born. I may try that challenge one day.

>38 alcottacre: Thank you for the welcome. So far I feel very comfy here,

>39 lauralkeet: Facebook is back so I’ll take a look. Thanks.

>40 janoorani24: Janiece, so glad you stopped by. Hope you come back. 😎

I think the funnest thing so far about a book a year is the research. Looking for the books is interesting. I always meant to read Jim Thompson - he has a great reputation in noir fiction. They’ve all been 4 stars but none of them knocked me out. I also feel there’s a kind of discomfort in all of them. A kind of stiffness that people feel around each other. It’s very strong in the Japanese book and in the mystery by Millar. The strange thing to me is the Triffid book, a dystopian novel in England, is probably the warmest. Apocalyptic novels in America are usually terrifyingly violent affairs but in the Triffid book the people were more into taking care of each other generally. In all of these books people were less likely to say what they thought or act on their feelings. I’m curious to see how they might change in the 60s.

>41 dianeham: Interesting comments about the 1960s books you have been reading Diane.

Great pictures of the Bald Eagles, Diane. We are fortunate to have them here all year round, in some abundance. We have a problem with snow geese in our area - so many,and they ruin fields with their poop, but my husband tells me that the bald eagles help keep the snow geese population in check in some areas.

Enjoy Reykjavik and The Fox Wife when you get to them. I've read quite a few books ( most ? ) of Ragnar Jonasson's books and really enjoyed them. I haven't read any other books by Yangsze Choo, but I enjoyed The Fox Wife so much that I purchased her first book, Ghost Bride as my library did not have it.

>44 vancouverdeb: I haven’t read Blackout or Whiteout - not sure why. Maybe there was something weird about the series sequence in English?

I have not read Whiteout or Snowblind from that series either, Diane. I think I may have lost interest in that series ? I'm not certain.

I messed up a medication of mine and think I’m having painful side effects from it today. My whole body hurts on every part of the surface of my skin. I was going to make dinner tonight but now I can’t stand up long enough to do it.

My hubby is in Atlantic City every day this week attending a USCG class on search & rescue. He loves it but it’s tiring and there is something wrong with one of his knees. He’s having problems walking.

>48 dianeham: I hope the side effects are not long-lasting, Diane. Risk/benefit ratios are tough to calculate sometimes, especially if you're on more than one or two meds.

My husband is an old Coastie---he did basic training at Cape May, and then was part of the helicopter crew of a Search and Rescue unit based in Belle Chasse, LA, when we were first married. Kudos to your man for serving with the auxiliary. They need every hand they can get, when so much of their mission now involves more law enforcement than rescue work.

>30 dianeham: I grew up along the Delaware River, in PA, but very near the NY border (in fact I went to school in New York State from 6th grade through high school). I remember my Dad talking about seeing eagles from the meadow of their farm overlooking the river when he was a boy. In my childhood they had disappeared, and everyone feared they would never come back. They DID though, in the last couple decades, and it is always a thrill to see them.

>49 laytonwoman3rd: Hi Linda! My hubby was in the cg for 4 years a million years ago. He was stationed in CT & LI. Nice to meet you.

>50 dianeham: A million years is about how long ago mine was actively serving too! 1971 - 1975.

My husband was 17 when he enlisted - let me do the math…1970-1974! My honey was born in 1953.

I had a number of relatives in the navy but not many, other than my brother in law who served in the Royal Engineers in the Gulf Wars, in the army itself. My family mainly hailed from the Yorkshire coalfields and were in that reserved occupation.

I dnf’d Samuel Johnson Is Indignant: Stories by Lydia Davis. I was very unimpressed and just didn’t want to read any more.

The painful side effects I was having yesterday have morphed into different painful side effects today. I think today is worse. Yesterday it was pain on the surface of my skin. Today it is joint pain.

Earlier this week I was looking at new ebooks added to QPL(I pay $50 a year for a card to borrow ebooks) and I saw there was a new book by Armistead Maupin so I put a hold on it. And I got it already! So I guess I’m reading that next.

>55 dianeham: Sorry to hear about your painful side-effects Diane. I hope they pass soon.

Ages since I read Maupin. Will look for your comments.

>56 Caroline_McElwee: thank You, Caro. So far the Maupin is strange. It takes place at a monor house in England. Oh, maybe that’s up your street?

>48 dianeham: Oh no! i hope those side effects go away soon!

>48 dianeham: Feel better soon, Diane. I have not read Maupin yet, but feel that I should. Someday...

>59 labfs39: Maupin’s books were so - of their time.

Feel better, Diane.

I’m more than half done Mona of the Manor. It’s not as good as being in Tales of the City in San Francisco. However Mrs. madrigal may be putting in an appearance so that should help. The tourists who are staying at the manor are annoying.

I’m a bit better today. Less pain.

A list of all the books I’ve acquired since the last week in December 2023.

These are ebooks
Hard Girls by J. Robert Lennon pre-ordered
The Pole by J.M. Coetzee
Six of One by Rita Mae Brown
Lolly Willowes or the Loving Huntsman by Sylvia Townsend Warner 49 CENTS
The Killer Inside Me by Jim Thompson
Corinne, Volume 1 (of 2) by Madame de (Anne-Louise-Germaine) Staël FREE
The Stranger & The Fall & The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus 49 CENTS
Thousand Cranes by Yasunari Kawabata
The Grey Wolf: A Novel (Chief Inspector Gamache Novel Book 19) by Louise Penny pre-ordered
The Chrysalids by John Wyndham
Martin Dressler: The Tale of an American Dreamer by Steven Millhauser
Daniel Stein, Interpreter by Ludmila Ulitskaya
The Body of the Soul: Stories (The Margellos World Republic of Letters) by Ludmila Ulitskaya
Modern Poetry: Poems by Diane Seuss

Physical Books
Collected Poems by Edwin Muir
Raspberries and Eye Kisses: Tales from the Cockatoo Protection Program by Tim Campbell & Barney Campbell

Welcome Diane, sorry I missed your thread at first. I usually try to welcome each new member.
Thanks for sharing the eagle photo's, such majestic birds! Occasionally I spot one of the white-tailed eagles, they nest in a nature preserve nearby.
Sorry to read you have such nasty reactions on messing up your meds. I hope you feel better soon!

>64 FAMeulstee: thanks for the welcome.

We had some bad weather over the weekend and according to my husband (who checks on them every day) the eagles’ nest is gone. We had extremely high winds so we assume it was blown away. I hope the eagles are okay. And also hope they don’t move too far away.

I had a very lucky library experience today. A librarian where I used to work added two titles that I requested to their overdrive ebook collection. I pay $50 a year for an ecard at Queens public library because they have more of the titles I want in their ebook collection than the library here. The local library usually has what I want in print but I need ebooks where I can resize the fonts. So happily, the two books I got at The Maniac by Benjamin Labatut and You Dreamed of Empires by Álvaro Enrigue. So I need to finish Mona of the Manor.

>62 dianeham: Glad you are feeling better!

>63 dianeham: What a great list. I have not bought a lot of books this year but hope to change that soon.

>66 figsfromthistle: thanks for stopping by, Anita. I read all my books as ebooks. I was thinking of posting a list of all the kindle samples I’ve gotten lately.

I finished Mona of the Manor 4 stars. It was heartwarming to encounter some of the old Tales of the City folks even if they were in England. :)

I read two poetry books over night - Monument: Poems New and Selected by Natasha Trethewey and Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head: Poems by Warsan Shire. They were both excellent books by very skilled poets.

I love Trethewey. She must be due for a new collection.

Do you also read poetry on the e-reader? I've had some not great experiences reading poetry on mine.

>69 BLBera: yes, on the ereader. I adjust the settings when I read poetry. I change to a single column instead of two and sometimes I need to adjust the font size. I’ve encountered some poetry books — but not a lot of them - that give you an example and tells you to adjust the font size until all the words appear on one line -so the line breaks - enjambment - is correct. For years I didn’t get poetry in ebook format. But it seems easier now to adjust. But that’s why I read the whole book at one because it’s not easy to jump from poetry to a novel when you have to adjust font and format all the time.

I have an appointment at 12:45 for an xray but it’s 6:30 am and I haven’t gone to sleep yet. I went ahead and rescheduled online. My husband has an appointment right after me also for xrays. He’ll have to go without me. I can’ go on little or no sleep.

I started reading The Maniac - thought it would put me to sleep but it didn’t. It’s a fictional biography of John von Neumann the mathematician. After he left Europe he ended up in NJ at Princeton.

Ooh, it’s pi day! 🥧

>71 dianeham: I think the touchstone may go to the wrong book.

Yay! Pi Day!

Sweet Thursday, Diane. I also loved Monument: Poems New and Selected. Do you think I will like Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head: Poems? It sounds good.

Happy pi day, Diane. Thanks for the info on reading poetry on the e-reader. I will have to fiddle with the settings.

>70 dianeham: Three book bullets - I've requested both poetry books from the library. I like Trethewey, and I've heard good things about Shire.

I'll keep Mona of the manor in my back pocket for when I need a fun read.

And thanks for the info about reading poetry on an ereader. I have a couple of collections I may use that trick with.

ETA
P.S. Good luck with your xrays!

>73 labfs39: thank you, Lisa. Touchstone fixed.

>74 msf59: Mark, I think you would like it. I’ll post a few over in the poetry thread. Give me a few minutes.

>75 BLBera: Happy Pi day to you too, Beth.

>76 markon: sorry, not sorry, for the BBs. Hubby is off to get his xray and I only slept like 2 hours and woke up again.

>62 dianeham: I am glad that the pain has lessened and I hope it has gone completely by now.

>72 dianeham: I am lucky in that pi day falls on my birthday so I get my favorite pie , blueberry, every year :)

>78 alcottacre: Happy Birthday and happy Pie!

I’m still reading Thirteen Ways of Looking not sure why it’s taking me so long.

I know a lot of people here don’t read ebooks but I’m wondering if any of you have encountered Boundless? It’s ebooks by Baker & Taylor. I use Queens PL for ebooks and they have overdrive/libby and Boundless. Boundless has fewer of the books I want but don’t know if that’s the vendor or QPL’s selection process. My local library has overdrive and hoopla. Hoopla has many of the books in translation title that I look for. Hoopla and Overdrive seldom have the same books but hoopla will have the more obscure ones and some classics.

I was looking at my most recent ebook samples earlier. I read the beginning of each and decided whether to keep it or chuck it. One of them was so good I have to read it now. It’s on the Booker International long list - Crooked Plow.

Some of these are for my book for every I’ve been alive. Some are Booker International. The others I’m keeping tbr are:
A Jest of God 1966
The Lady in the Car with Glasses and a Gun 1966
A Mind to Murder 1963
The Deadly Joker 1963
The Outsiders 1960
The Leopard 1960
After Visiting Friends recommended by Mark, I think.
Rembrandt’s Hat 1973
How to Speak Whale nonfiction (want to learn more about whales)
Two Sherpas sounded interesting
Undiscovered Booker
Crooked Plow booker
Lost on Me booker
The Details booker
The Einstein Intersection 1967
Herzog 1964
Owls Do Cry 1957

Going to the doctor with my husband. Think there is bad news about an xray. Send some good vibes if you read this.

Yikes. I hope all is well. Thinking of you

>82 dianeham: Fingers crossed for positive results.

I requested Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head: Poems.

>83 labfs39: >84 msf59: Thank you both. He needs an mri but it looks likely that he has cancer. There is a lesion - a hole - in his tibia caused by a tumor. Getting him to stay off his leg is the hard part now.

Mark, I hope you enjoy her poetry.

Sorry to hear this news, Diane. Was it a complete surprise?

>86 msf59: It was yesterday when I read the results. We were assuming a knee replacement because he already had a hip replacement. But it explains why he was anemic.

Aw, bummer. Wishing you the best moving forward.

>85 dianeham: I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's results, Diane. That's tough. Best wishes as you pursue his treatment.

As for books, I read A Jest of God several years ago and have read other books by her that I enjoyed. They are not uplifting books, but I did enjoy them. Perhaps right now you might like something lighter?

That's a tough one, Diane. Best wishes to you both in the weeks ahead.

>89 vancouverdeb: I’ve read most of her other books ages ago but I think you’re right. It was for my book for every year since I was born project. The Lady in the Car with Glasses and a Gun is a the same year - 1966. So think I’ll go with that one.

>90 labfs39: >88 msf59: thank you. My husband usually does all the grocery shopping so we’ll have to get deliveries.

I'm sorry to read the news about your husband, Diane. Wishing you both the best as you process this and determine next steps.

Dear Diane; my very best wishes to you and your husband. Let's hope if it is confirmed as what you both fear that it has been caught early and a full recovery can be made.

You will be in our thoughts and prayers in the days and weeks and months to come.

>82 dianeham: Sending good vibes your way!

>83 labfs39: Oh no! Sorry to hear about this news. (( hugs))

>92 lauralkeet: >93 PaulCranswick: >94 figsfromthistle: thank you all so much.

On Wednesdays my husband goes to the Coast Guard base and helps teach the recruits how to tie knots and throw heaving lines. He went today. AND today is his birthday - 71.

I finished rereading Thirteen ways of Looking last night. I think I liked it better the first time. But I still like it.

Things are moving really fast which is good for getting my hubby better fast but it’s sure making our heads spin. The cancer doctor called him today and they want to admit him to the hospital as soon as a room opens. The hospital is an hour away. So Michael is packing a bag and we’re waiting to hear back. Today is his birthday and tomorrow night we have reservations at the fanciest restaurant in Cape May. I don’t drive so he’ll drive himself.

Keeping good strong thoughts for 21st century medical wizardry for your husband, Diane. And I hope you will be able to keep your reservation and enjoy your dinner. (Just btw, what IS the fanciest restaurant in Cape May these days? I fondly remember one from 50+ years ago --the Lobster Trap, maybe?--but I'm sure it's long gone.)

>96 dianeham: I'm glad his doctors are being proactive, but I'm sure the suddenness of everything is disorienting. Hang in there.

>97 laytonwoman3rd: do you mean the lobster house? That’s still there. The restaurant is just a couple of years old. It’s called Primal. https://www.primalcapemay.com/gallery

I am sorry to hear about your husband, Diane. Fingers crossed that all will be well. Sending healing thoughts your way.

>100 BLBera: Thank Beth. It’s so werd that he isn’t here.

I’m thinking of you and your husband often , and wishing you both well . I hope you had a lovely dinner together, and that you are soon able to visit him, or that he is soon home from hospital.

>102 vancouverdeb: thans Deb. So far I know they did a cat scan. They have him fasting. They probably will do a biopsy but they are also talking about surgery to repair his leg. I will probably go up later. I don’t drive but my stepson said he’ll drive up. He takes almost 2 hours.

I'm thinking of you both too and greatly wishing for a very positive outcome. Very glad you are getting some support from your stepson.

>104 mdoris: thank you. I saw him tonight. He seemed ok.

They are doing an mri tomorrow. And they want to keep him over the weekend and do surgery to repair his leg on Monday. And then give him some pt on maybe Tuesday and Wednesday. Turns out they found a mass in his lung so the bone cancer is metastatic. So the bone cancer doc has to hook him up with the lung cancer doc, I guess. This isn’t good.

So sorry to hear this, Diane. What a tough time for both of you. I glad you saw your husband this evening. Is there public transportation in your area to the hospital where your husband is? Or perhaps an affordable motel near to the hospital where he is at for now, so you could see him more easily. I'm very glad your step son is there to drive you . Wishing you all the very best.

>106 vancouverdeb: thanks Deb.

>99 dianeham: That looks lovely Diane.

>105 dianeham: Oh no! Try to keep up spirits for the both of you, Diane, which is know is much easier said than done.

At least the hospital and physicians seem to be on the ball, which does give some confidence that at least he will be in good hands.

I'm sorry to learn about your husband's diagnosis Diane. You and he are both in my thoughts!

>109 janoorani24: thank you Janiece.

Sunday night after the hospital I am going to stay with my nephew who lives closer to the hospital. Then when michael get released, nephew will bring us back home to the seashore.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis, Diane. Best of luck.

Thank you Beth>111 BLBera:

I am very happy for you that you are able to stay with your nephew, nice and close to the hospital while you husband continues treatment. Best wishes, Diane and Michael. I'm thinking of you both, often.

Hi Diane, I’m happy to have found you and send a warm welcome to the group, but so sorry to hear of your husband’s recent diagnosis. I’m glad you have some family nearby to help, especially with transportation.

You’re going through a very tough time and I wish you both all the best. *hugs*

>113 vancouverdeb: Deb, I knew you would approve of that plan! Thanks. I need to post a picture of my nephews 5 mos old daughter. She’s adorable.

>114 Copperskye: Glad you found me Joanne. And thanks for all the Christmas cards. I’m having a hard time reading with all that’s going on. Played a little farmville today. That’s my level of engagement right now.

I’m listening to the feeding calls of humpback whales and they make me smile. Sometimes they sound a little like underwater pigs. They also sound a little whiney.

Hello Diane, and welcome to the 75 challenge group. I'll be sure to visit and follow the books you are reading.

I’m really feeling weak today. Need to make my dinner but i’s hard to stand up long enough to do it.

I’m sorry you are feeling so weak today, Diane . You’ve had so much to try to take in, in a very short period of time . I hope you are able to make yourself something to eat, and maybe just lie down a have a nap , if you are able , and just have an easy on yourself day. FarmVille sounds just fine to me . (Hugs)

>119 dianeham: Please take care of yourself, rest, and keep it simple.

>121 Copperskye: thanks. I’m trying.

Take care, Diane.

I’m at the hospital and staying overnight. Surgery on his leg in the morning.

Thoughts are sure with you both!

"I’m listening to the feeding calls of humpback whales and they make me smile." This also made me smile. Let us know how the surgery goes. I am glad you are able to stay with your nephew for the time being.

Wishing you and your husband all the best today. Let us know how the surgery goes . Thinking of you both .

Best wishes for both of you, Diane. Please let us know how things go.

Keeping you and your husband in my thoughts this morning, Diane.

Thinking of you and your husband today, Diane.

Thinking of you both today, Diane.

Thank you all. The surgery was 7 hours long.it went well. The hole in his tibia was much larger thab they thought. The rod was inserted into the tibia bone. The delay in surgery time had to do with some specific equipment. He’ll have physical therapy tomorrow and hopefully come home Wednesday. It was a rough day.

>132 dianeham: Relieved at least that the surgery went well, Diane. Take good care of yourselves.

That sounds positive, Diane. I know you'll be glad to have him back home with you.

>132 dianeham: I am glad to hear that your husband's surgery went well, Diane, and hope his recovery goes well too. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Glad to hear the surgery went well. Good luck with the recovery.

Modern medicine is amazing...but the real healing starts once he gets home. Continuing to send recovery energy your way.

>132 dianeham: I forgot I posted last night. I slept all night which was great. I didn’t go to visit today but he has other visitors. He was in a lot of pain when I talked to him and couldn’t handle walking. I’m being well cared for at my nephew’s. I’m so used to being alone or just with Michael - it’s different.

Thanks for the support.

Popping over from your CR thread, Diane. I've been away for a few days and catching up on threads - so sorry to hear how life has changed so dramatically since I was last 'chatting' with you. I think all you can do is take things a day at a time. I hope tomorrow is a better day for your husband after his leg surgery and that they get his pain under control.

>138 dianeham: Yes it must be strange as well as worrying for you. What is the prognosis re the pain?

>140 kjuliff: I’m trying to get ahold of a doctor to find out if they are releasing him tomorrow. I don’t see how they could.

>139 AlisonY: thank you Alison

I'm relieved to hear the surgery went well. I hope they can give him something that works for the pain.

>138 dianeham: Keep your chin up, Diane. That post is very moving in its stoicism.

I'm glad the surgery was successful even if it went longer than planned. I hope Michael's pain is less today. Take care.

>144 PaulCranswick: feeling less stoic today.

Michael is very sad. He won’t be going home. He has to go to a rehab first. The rehab will be near us. I don’t know which rehab or when. I think I’ll go home tomorrow and hopefully they will move him tomorrow or Friday. At least I’ll be able to take an uber to go visit him. Today he was in pain, nauseous from the pain meds and didn’t feel like eating. Oh and really tired from the pain meds too. I hate seeing him so unhappy. This is all so sudden and weird.

I’m staying at my nephews and they have a rabbit. The rabbit jumped on my stomach the first night. Scared me - i jumped and the rabbit jumped. Then the rabbit was stealing a candy wrapper from my purse while I was sleeping. 💤 I’m trying to get a photo of the bunny but he runs away.

Hello Diane, This sounds like so much all at once and difficult. Fingers crossed that the next days will be better. It is good that Michael will get the help he needs in rehab and hoping you can have some good supports too.

Your story of the bunny reminds me of......
The Runaway Bunny by Margarent Wise Brown a beautiful now old children's classic.

Hi Diane. Such a challenging time. I am sorry that Micheal is feeling very sad. I'm sure you are too. I'm glad the rehab will be near to your place and I hope he will soon be up and around and home. Thinking of you both , often.

>147 mdoris: I’ll look for the book and keeping trying to get a photo.

>148 vancouverdeb: they asked him to pick 2 rehabs off a list and according to a friend who is familar with rehabs - the first 1 i picked is the best and the 2nd one is awful. Now I’ll feel really bad if they send him to the awful one.

This evening I started Two Sherpas. Hope it will hold my attention.

Keep your chin up, Diane. I am sure that Michael will get benefit from any positivity you can muster. My heart goes out to both of you. xx

So sorry to hear about your husband Diane, and so stressful for you both. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Hang in there, Diane. Hopefully the rehab will getting Michael up and mobile quickly. That will help his mood, I'm sure. Rabbit attack! Sounds like a Monty Python skit.

Fingers crossed Michael gets to go to the "good" rehab. I hope the pain is better today. Thinking of you.

I hope both you and Michael are doing better today, Diane!

Thank you for all the support. He’s doing much better today. He was able to walk from the better to the window with the walker. I stopped to see him and then I came back home. I’m glad to be back home. I need groceries but I;ll do an order/delivery tomorrow. I don’t know yet when they are moving him . I’m taling off tomorrow unless they move him tomorrow.

The hospital he is in is so nice. Everyone who works there is so nice and accommodating. I’ve never been in a hospital like this before. My sister-in-law tells me all hospitals are like this now but I don’t believe her.

>156 dianeham: Pleased that Michael had a much better day, Diane and that your impression of the care he is receiving is a positive one.

>157 PaulCranswick: I’ve got the whale music on again.

I'm glad to hear that the hospital your husband is in is so nice, Diane. It's great to hear he is up and walking with a walker . Fingers crossed that he gets the better rehab place. I'm glad you are enjoying the whale music. And great idea to order in groceries. Some years ago - 5 or so, my husband fell on some logs at the beach and ended up fracturing 2 ribs and 4 spinal processes. He was fine other than being in a lot pain and having to spend a couple of nights in hosptial for pain management. I drive, but I also ordered groceries then too. Just one less thing to do and worry about at busy and stressful time.

Encouraging news, Diane. I'm sure if feels good to be home for a bit. Fingers crossed that the next phase goes well.

Happy Friday, Diane. Thanks for keeping us updated on Michael. Glad to hear that the hospital is such a pleasant place. Good luck finding an equal rehab center.

>156 dianeham: Thanks for the update, Diane. I'm glad things seem to be going well with the recovery.

>159 vancouverdeb: >160 labfs39: >161 msf59: thanks.

Still trying to decide what to order. Kind of different eating alone.

Not very pleasant but I have sores on both my lips. I think it’s from stress but it’s uncomfortable and probably unattractive.

I’m just going to report on my pretty boring day because I’m home alone. I ordered groceries from the supermarket. I used to use Instacart during covid because it worked better. So this time I ordered through the store. The delivery is scheduled between 5 and 7 pm. It was hard to figure out what I would eat while alone. I probably should have ordered some frozen dinners but I didn’t. I just dozed off writing that.

Good news. Hopefully darling hubby is being moved tomorrow. He will be back in our county and much closer to home. The hospital is giving him blood now. His hemoglobin is too low and the rehab won’t take him unless it’s higher. They said the insurance company won’t pay to transport him because he could walk from his bed to the window. So we’ll have to pay because I don’t have anyone to transport him. It takes us almost 2 hours each way. It’s ok - we can pay. So he should be nearby tomorrow.

That's good news, Diane. I know you will feel a lot better having him nearby.

Fingers crossed your husband's move goes smoothly. It will be very good to have him nearby.

>165 dianeham: That is good news, Diane. It will be nice for you to have him closer.

Good news that Michael will soon be close by, Diane. ((Hugs))

I'm so glad Michael's getting out of the hospital and moving closer to home. Make sure you don't skip meals just because you are eating alone. Take care

Thanks all. Guess what? Turns out all my groceries weren’t delivered. There were 6 things missing. I called the grocery store and they don’t answer the phone. I left a message and they haven’t called me back.

No word from the grocery store but I guess they just started work at 9am? I called them and got someone who transferred me but then no one answered after that. This brings out a side of me I call my Philly side - it makes my Philly come out. Don’t mess with the Philly girl. Get my food and deliver it now! Grocery stores won’t hire people full time so they don’t have to pay them benefits. People work there for years before they can get full time. So they don’t staff their stores in a way that benefits the workers or the customers. So yeah, Im a pissed off former Philly woman.

And to throw in a book post. Here is my favorite quote so far from Two Sherpas: He pretended he was asleep. He imagined he was sleeping. Until he fell asleep.

>172 dianeham: my Philly side made me laugh, Diane. I know exactly what you're referring to! And although I try to be careful about it, I admit to using that technique myself on occasion. I hope your missing items show up.

Diane, these hard times are truly bringing out the Nora Ephron in you - your wry little snippets of a window on your day really had me smiling. Answer the phone to this woman and sort out those missing items NOW! I hope you ordered in some food treats for yourself.

No doubt your husband's anxious to get home - hopefully his rehab stint will be short but positive for his post-op healing. I'm sure he'll be tired after the 2 hour journey.

My groceries did show up. I finally got a live person on the phone. They asked me to list the items missing and they found my bag lying around there. They sent it over with a door dasher. I managed to take a nap - despite the fact that there is a new neighbor in the house behind ours hammering on things in his driveway. He’s been doing that all day. This neighbor seems to have appeared during the three days I was gone.’

Meanwhile my neighbor up the street who used to work at the same library I did knocked at my door. She has a memory impairment that she is taking medication for. She was carrying her paper address book and she wanted my phone number again. She did the exact same thing a month ago. She should have brought her phone and entered my number in that! I went through the book and didn’t see where she wrote it last time. I think she’s driving me crazy and i feel guilty for getting mad at her but… for the second day in a row I asked her to get my mail for me and again she couldn’t find my mail box. It’s that big thing next to the front gate.

I’m watching a show on my ipad The Devil’s Hour staring Peter Calpaldi. Doesn’t sound very relaxing does it?

>174 lauralkeet: Glad you know what I mean.

>175 AlisonY: That’s not the first time I’ve heard that Nora Ephron comparison- although I’m thinking it was someone else who was similar? Not sure, there’s this memory thing going around. 😎

Thanks for keeping me company here.

I saw my husband in the nursing home. I don’t like the place. It looked very untidy, cramped and messy. He’s happy because they got him out of bed and in a wheelchair. Going back tomorrow at 3. He has pt at 1.

I had a sandwich for lunch. I should probably eat again. I’m tired. My annoying neighbor knocked at my door twice today. I didn’t answer the first time. I answered the second time. She asked how hubby was. I said I was getting ready to go see him. And she asked where he was - which I told her yesterday. I hope she doesn’t do this every day.

So sorry about your husband's health problems. Hopefully he can come home soon.

And the neighbor sounds so annoying!

>178 banjo123: thank you. 😊

>177 dianeham: Just catching up on your thread, and I hope that he is better and home again soon. Best wishes!

>180 rasdhar: thank you.

My life is totally turned upside down. I need to change the title of my thread because I no longer stay up all night. I woke up just before 7am this morning - woken by the annoying sounds of a text message from a doctor’s office who keeps sending reminders of an appointment that I told we couldn’t keep. I know patients get taken to appointments from nursing homes but he just got there on Saturday and since the insurance company wouldn’t pay to transport him from the hospital to the nursing home- they probably won’t pay to take him from the nursing home to an appointment.

>181 dianeham: Are you on Medicare? If so you need to have the hospital to say an ambulance is a necessity. I had a problem when the rehab place filled the form out incorrectly. Talk to your insurance company as this problem will probably recur. As for the grounds for their decision.

BTW I noticed you were no longer up late, as I’m always up late and was used to seeing your posts. See if the admin can change the title. Or just ignore that thread. It will stop appearing at the top of your followers “Talk”.

>177 dianeham: Ask the annoying neighbor for a lift or something else for her to do. There may come a time you may need her. If she is just nosy she’ll go away. Otherwise she may prove helpful.

Re the nursing home - I understand your concern. They are only good for physical therapy. I don’t know about other states, but in NYC they are dreadful places. I was shocked when I first experienced “rehab” here. I don’t understand why so many American think America has the best health care in the world.

My thoughts are with you in the this trying time.

>183 kjuliff: I would not ride with the annoying neighbor she had an accident and left the scene and had to go to court. I’d be terrified to ride with her.

The insurance company wouldn’t pay transport because my husband was able to walk a few steps. They wanted me to pick him up and transport him.

I hope you are able to sort out transport, Diane.

If you want to change your thread title, @drneutron can do that for you. Or, since your thread is more than 150 messages long you can create a new one (click on Continue this topic in another topic at the bottom of the messages). LT will automatically fill in the current thread title, but you can change it.

>185 lauralkeet: thanks. Yes, I’ll change it when I make a new one :)

It's good to hear that Michael has been released from the hospital. Hope the PT will enable him to come home soon. Did the lung doctors ever show up?

Hang in there. Eat. Read. Sleep when you can. And yes, notifying Michael's facebook friends (with his permission) sounds like a good thing to do.

>187 markon: What Arlene said! Take care of yourself.

I am glad that Michael is able to get the PT he needs and hope he is able to come home soon!

They never took him to physical therapy today. We were not happy.
But a friend of ours took me to see Michael today and he had us laughing the whole time. We also took Michael our usual Monday night dinner - fried chicken. I fell asleep when I came home.

It’s been raining for ages here. All the ground is soft and muddy. I had trouble taking the trash out. I got the regular trash container outside the yard. It was hard - there was a flood outside the gate and I had to roll it over clumps of wet muddy grass. Didn’t get the recycle outside the yard. Both entrances to our yard flood. Looking for water resistant shoes now. Got offers of rides but no one offering to do the trash. And still trying to avoid the one neighbor. I have a lot of boxes that I have to fold/flatten to put out but I didn’t want them to get all wet so they can wait until next week. I hope to clear out a bunch of junk here. The boys & girls club pick up donations so I might be able use some of those boxes. We need to clear some bookcase space - horrors!

Haven’t been reading. Looking for a book that hooks me - a-can’t-put-downer.

I imagine that yes , indeed, life has turned upside down for you and Micheal, Diane. I am sorry Micheal couldn't get to physical therapy today. I hope he will be able get there soon. It's great that you have offers of rides from , and I'm glad you enjoyed your usual Monday night dinner. Sounds delicious. Thinking of your both.

>190 vancouverdeb: Hi Deb

Raining AGAIN here in South Jersey. I’m listening to humpback whale songs - appropriate - songs from the watery deep. My back yard is seriously flooded as well as under the house. I may be in the watery deep soon - not really - I think the foundation is secure.

>192 dianeham: Wonderful cartoon Diane. Take care in all that surrounding water.

I hope your husband gets his PT today, Diane. Perhaps they were short-staffed yesterday as it was Easter Monday.

I also hope the biblical rain stops soon. We've had several weeks of horribly rainy weather which has been depressing. It's amazing what a bit of sunshine and blue sky can do.

Husband had pt today and he walked 30 feet with the walker. I had a very productive day. 4 loads of wash, grocery delivery, dishes washed and made myself teriyaki salmon. A neighbor is going to take me to the nursing home tomorrow.

Every night since all of this started I’ve fallen asleep early (for me) and I’ve slept all night. Not tonight! I’m waking up every 2 hours. But I fell asleep typing. And the whales are still singing.

Hi, Diane. Just checking in. Thanks for keeping us updated. Glad to hear Michael got his PT in. Good luck with everything, my friend.

>195 dianeham: That is good news, Diane. Fingers crossed that recovery continues to go well. Take care of yourself.

>192 dianeham: You made me laugh.

>198 BLBera: those dogs look pretty sad about the absence of a poodle. We had a standard poodle. He was so cute and so smart. His name was Cisco Kid.

Cisco Kid looks so cute and well dressed. I'm glad that Michael got his PT done yesterday, and every good wish to both of you.

>199 dianeham: Diane what a gorgeous dog! We have had 5 standard poodles in the past 37 years, 4 blacks and a red but never a grey one. He's was a gorgeous one!

>199 dianeham: What a lovely dog Cisco Kid was, Diane, such soulful eyes!

I was down last night. I have so much to do and so far the only help I get is rides. Our house is a disaster. The sliding shower door is broken. I have to get it fixed or dh won’t be able to get in and out of it. The house is beyond a mess. There is too much stuff and no place to put things. I want to get rid of the rug in the living room and just have the hard wood floors.

I did try reading last night. Still reading Two Sherpas which I kind of like but it put me to sleep. I finished watching The Devil’s Hour and it was really stupid. It was interesting up to the end abd the end that explained everything was really lame.

>199 dianeham: What a beautiful dog...those eyes! I've often thought if we should get another dog I'd like to try a standard poodle. We were always Sheltie people, and I'm sure that breed would be a bit too much for us now. We loved 'em, but they're very peppy, and can be quite vocal as well.

>204 laytonwoman3rd: Cisco's only problem was food aggression and we probably could have trained him out of it if we had known how. I love him so much. He was a wonderful dog.

Cisco Kid is adorable.

>203 dianeham: Can you hire someone to come and help you? I wish I lived closer. I would be over to help. It's handy to have a book that puts you to sleep.

>206 BLBera: yes, I’m investigating locally for someone to hire for the shower doors and for cleaning. There a fb group for the local community so I’m asking in there for recommendations. My neighbor who is a year older than me just helped me with the trash. She said she’s strong because she’s a swimmer. She said she’ll come back Monday and help me put the trash out but she is the one with the bad memory.

There was just a 4.8 earthquake here in NJ. I heard things rattling under the sink. I was afraid there was a critter under there. And sounded like banging in the yard. Didn’t really feel anything. But I wished my husband was here.

>208 dianeham: I'll bet that earthquake was unnerving, Diane. I hope you got a good visit in with Micheal today.

>208 dianeham: For me it would have been hard to decide whether an earthquake or critter was a worse option. I do not do furry vermin friends.

What a difficult week, Diane. I hope today's a better day.

>209 vancouverdeb: Deb - you’re like my friendly (far away) neighbor who checks on me every day. Thank you. I barely got to talk to Michael during our visit. They took him to pt later than usual so he was doing that for the first hour. I went in and watched but I was told that isn’t normally allowed. How am I supposed to know when to go if they don’t tell him their schedule? Then we went back to his room and 2 friends from the Coast Guard Auxiliary showed up. And then my ride came back. I talk to him on the phone longer than I did there.

>210 AlisonY: I agree. A furry critter would have been pretty startling.

A serendipitous thing happened - I found out an old friend who I haven’t seen in ages because she moved away is back in the area and she organizes and cleans houses. She’s coming at 11 this morning. I woke up at 5am and my entire right arm was numb. It took a long time to get the feeling back and it was painful. It feels like it came from my shoulder as opposed to my wrist. Maybe something in my shoulder is impinging on the nerves? Hopefully I can go back to sleep.

Oh, this old friend is willing to help me with a lot of "issues" that I can’t get our family to help us with. I asked my step-son and grandson both to pick up new recycle cans from the township and both of them said they either couldn’t fit it in his car or can’t get there when it’s open. Neither one of them offered to find a way to get them - like ask a friend to help, borrow a pick up - nothing. The old friend just said - we’ll get someone to pick them up for you. We recently lent both of them a lot of money - in fact I borrowed money to do it. I didn’t say the bank is closed when I can go so I can’t. I hate complaining about my stepson - he works 2 jobs and he is trying to get his new house in shape so he can live in it.

Some of this is so overwhelming and the only real support I’m getting now is people driving me places - which I greatly appreciate. Getting the house ready for him to come home will be great. I look forward to that.

I’m sorry I’m not talking about books but it’s helpful to put this stuff someplace where a lot of other eyes won’t see. Michael feels very bad about how all this has affected me (affect or effect?) so I try to be cheery - like him. 😎

Diane, I'm so happy to read about your reconnection with an old friend. Times like these, you really need someone like that, and this happened just in time what with needing to get your house ready for Michael's return. I can imagine how overwhelming that is, and to have both emotional and hands-on support is a real gift.

I'm glad this is a safe space for you to share your feelings. That's one of the great things about the LT community, and especially this group.

I am so glad that you have connected with your old friend! Those rehab centers can be so difficult to visit; it's lucky that Michael is so positive, that probably helps him cope there.

I am sorry you hardly got a chance to speak to Micheal. That is so disappointing. I hope today went better. I'm so glad you have so many neighbours around who are keen to help with driving. I'm glad you reconnected with your old friend and I hope the cleaning went well today too.

>211 dianeham: Don't apologise for putting the books to one side for now, Diane. All your pals are here to listen to you and to continually wish you well.

>215 PaulCranswick: thank you, Paul.

Just caught up with your ups and downs Diane. I hope your husband will be home soon. I love serendipity and your helpful friend coming back into your life at just the right time.

>217 Caroline_McElwee: Good to see you.

You won’t believe how exhausted I am. I sit all day and she asks me keep or throw away. And I’m so tired. I fall asleep as soon as she leaves.

I keep getting ebooks that I have on hold. I check them out but am too tired to read them. I hope we can spring him on Friday.

I’m working very hard at home to get the house ready but I’m too worn out to visit Michael. I feel bad because I know he hates it there. I’m hoping we can get him out on Friday. I just don’t know how much help he’s going to need at home.

I'm sorry to have been out of touch, Diane. The nor'easter caused lots of problems here in Maine. I'm glad you didn't suffer damage during your own weather/geological event. I too am worried about flooding with this two feet of spring snow melting very quickly.

Michael seems to be making great progress with his PT. I hope he is able to come home soon, as that will make things better for you both. I hope your house project continues to go well, and that you get good rest. How fortunate to reconnect with such a helpful friend!

I'm glad to hear about reconnecting with your friend to help you with cleaning Diane. And I totally understand about falling asleep after all those keep/donate/throw away decisions. It's hard work!

I also hope Michael gets to come home soon. Please feel free to vent all you need to. You've got a lot on your plate right now.

>220 labfs39: >221 markon: Thank you both.

We have a meeting with the nursing home people tomorrow. An "evaluation " they call it. I’m hoping to bring him home on Friday. We’ll see what they say tomorrow since this is the first time they are even talking to us.

Things aren’t as ready here at home as I hoped they’d be. Mainly because I didn’t get the shower door fixed. But that still might happen.

We have a new mattress on the daybed in the living room for him. Took the rugs up, threw away tons of stuff, hung new curtains. There are. Bunch of boxes he has to look through of his stuff. And then I guess we have to figure out where to put stuff he’s keeping.

Our house is really a mess but the rooms he’ll be in are good and there are clear paths to get through with a walker.

Thinking of you, Diane and Micheal. I hope the evaluation goes well. As you have clear paths for Michael's walker, I think it will be all good . Fingers crossed for a Friday homecoming.

We went to the meeting at the nursing home. They convinced us to keep him there another week. They want to work on his ability to get around. I got home around 2 and I am totally exhausted. I slept after I got home. I ate a frozen dinner and now I am watching Constellation on apple tv. I wish he was home. I’m so tired of this. My organizer/cleaner won’t be coming for the next 3 days so I can get our taxes done. When I was staying at my nephew’s his wife was around all day and I loved that. I enjoyed talking to her and their 5 month old baby. My nephew made lovely dinners every night and I felt taken care of. I miss that.

I hope that Constellation is at least diverting and maybe even entertaining, Diane. I can imagine how exhausted you must be . I'm not all good when my husband it out of town, or once, in the hospital for couple of nights as he had broken his ribs. I was exhausted . I'm sorry Micheal is going to stay another week. I guess it's good that they will work on his abilty to get around. Big hugs , Diane, and as much as possible, take it easy.

>224 dianeham: The nursing home seems like it is full of sensible and caring people, Diane. Keep your chin up, dear lady.

Take care, Diane. It's lovely that you have been able to connect with an old friend. I'm sure Michael will be happy to be at home.

>132 dianeham: Dropping in to say hello. I am glad that the surgery went well and that your husband is able to start physio therapy at a location close to your home.

Wishing you both the best as you move forward ((hugs))

I know "one more week" is really difficult, but it sounds like it's the best decision for Michael's recovery and mobility and hopefully will make things a bit easier for you as well when he's back home. I hope you continue to have support and companionship from your organizer friend.

Sleeping does not make me less tired.

Have a restful weekend, Diane. I think some me time is probably in order.

Darling husband is coming home Friday. We went to see the surgeon’s pa yesterday for a wound check. We asked her the results of the biopsy which we had never gotten. That was not good news. Michael has stage 4 lung cancer that has metastasized to his bones. We see the cancer doctor on Monday and we have to see a radiologist to do radiation on the leg. I don’t know what else to say.

Oh Diane I am so so sorry.

>233 kjuliff: who ever heard of going to the doctor for a sore leg and ending up with lung cancer. That’s nuts.

Diane I just so sorry for the very bad news you received about your husband. i am glad that he will be able to come home on Friday. I'm sure that is very important to you both!

I’m so sorry, Diane . I’m so glad Michael will be able to come on Friday.

Hello Diane. I'm so saddened to read your news about the cancer, but heartened to see that your husband will be home this week. My thoughts are with you often throughout the day.

Thank you all.

I’m so sorry to read that, Diane. Sending all good thoughts to you both.

I'm so sorry, Diane. Holding you and Michael in the light.

>241 lauralkeet: thank you

Adding my sorrow and support for the news you and Michael received.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's bad news, Diane. It's good that he is coming home soon. Sending good, healing karma your way.

>232 dianeham: "I don’t know what else to say." If you think of anything, it's always safe to say it here. As hard as it may be to imagine, there will be good days ahead.

Thank you all. I’m going to get his clothes now. I’m so tiredof my friend who is organizing/cleaning my house. I don’t know where anything is anymore.

>246 dianeham: I’m so sorry for the bad news and the tiredness and stress. At least Michael will be coming home.

Oh Diane, I'm just catching up on your thread now, and... crap. I'm really sorry. No stranger to the spousal cancer diagnosis here—it's a lot. No advice to give, other than hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Shadowboxing is also good when you're bouncing off the walls. And be easy on yourself no matter what.

>247 FlorenceArt: tired and stressed - yes.

>248 lisapeet: I order fiji by the case. I don’t know how I’m going to do everthing I have to do but I do get lots of offers of support so we should be okay.

I've been off the threads for a couple of days so am just seeing this. I'm so sorry, Diane. I'll be thinking of you. At least Michael will be home tomorrow. Hang in there.

251 posts - probably time to start a new thread. Today may be a good day to start anew since it’s my 74th birthday.

Happy Birthday, Diane!

>252 janoorani24: Thank you!

Happy Birthday, Diane! 🎂. I’m so glad Michael is coming home today.

Happy Birthday!

>251 dianeham: Happy birthday, Diane!

I hope all goes well with Michael coming home today.

Happy birthday Diane.

Well, Michael coming home is a good birthday present. Wishing the two of you as restful and healing a weekend as possible.

Michael seems to be catching up on his sleep. He’s been sleeping all day.

>259 dianeham: Yes hospitals don’t give one much opportunity to sleep, plus there are all the tests and procedures; exhausting for all concerned.

I'm glad he's home, Diane. I hope you had a good night's rest as well.

Happy belated birthday, Diane. I'm glad that Michael is home. Take care and ask for help when you need it.

Happy belated birthday! So sorry about your husband's diagnosis, that's so rough.

Ty, ty, ty, ty, ty.

We’re doing good. Still trying to figure out where the organizer put things. And re-ordering things I can’t find.

My husband has a lot of friends, acquaintances, admirers etc. My husband is an extremely nice person and people pick up on that immediately. He is still in contact with lots of people he grew up with, people he worked with, people in the USCG-Auxiliary and people currently serving in the coast guard. Not to mention neighbors and everyone at the stores where he shops. He’s like the mayor of our local supermarket. So we decided to start a facebook group to keep people updated on his treatment etc. We’re hesitant to put too much on general facebook. We thought a private group would be better.

Thankfully we don’t have to be anywhere else today and tomorrow. Mondat afternoon is the new cancer doctor.

The private FB group is a brilliant idea, Diane. I know someone who's done something similar and besides being helpful to those in the group, it's been really good for them to feel the love and support.

I'm glad your husband is back at home, Diane. I've been away in England got a few days and am just catching up. I'm so sorry that life has taken such a dramatic and difficult turn for you, and hope that LT friends can at least be helpful in lending a listening ear and providing a little support.

>264 dianeham: The private FB group is an excellent way of updating friends and not having to repeat yourself over and over. I actually advocate private FB pages for all as then you don’t have to worry about inadvertently posting something you want to be private.

You sound like you both are coping very well. Peace and love, Kate

I'm glad you are having a restful weekend, Diane. I hope you and Michael like the new doctor on Monday. Happy belated birthday too!

>266 AlisonY: Hope you enjoyed your time in Englad.

>267 kjuliff: we are coping well so far although when I get stressed I look for someone to fight with - preferably someone I don’t even know. Good thing I don’t drive.

>268 labfs39: thank you.

I think I’ve mentioned my neighbor with the memory issue here before. She came to the door today and I invited her in. She asked if he was getting PT - I saiid he had that in the nursing home and will probably have some more at home. She said that’s good. She said maybe when you’re better we can go to dinner. I said: Kate, Michael has cancer. She said she was very sorry and didn’t know. I’ve told her that at least 5 times before. Why doesn’t she carry pen and paper and write things down. She’s driving me crazy.

I started the fb group and there are 105 members already.

I'm so glad you are able to have a couple of quiet days at home. Sorry about your issue with your well meaning neighbour with the memory issue. I once was out walking , and during the block that I walked with another lady walked with me, she asked me three times where I lived. I guess she couldn't remember things either. I can understand how that would get to you. I'm happy about your Facebook Group. Great idea.

I'm glad Michael's home, and even happier to hear that you have so much support, Diane. That's huge. It's one thing I worry a lot about, not having family closer than a four hour drive away, and no good friends save one closer than an hour and a half subway ride. Not having to feel like you're on your own with this is really a gift.

As for your neighbor, she doubtless doesn't carry around something to write reminders on because she doesn't know how bad her memory is. I've found that one aspect of dealing with serious illness is having to cut other people a LOT of slack. Even the most well-meaning of friends won't remember the details of his illness, its prognosis, what you're coping with at any given moment. People can only hold so much in their heads when it's not them or their family going through it... you learn to correct gently or—a lot of times—not at all, just appreciate their kindness and good thoughts when you can and turn around to do something else when you can't.

>271 lisapeet: I’m a pretty direct person so it takes some effort to be gracious sometimes.

It sounds like Michael is settling in. I hope you're having a relaxing weekend. The FB group is a great idea. Good luck with the doctor tomorrow.

>272 dianeham: As a direct person myself, sometimes it doesn’t sink in unless you ARE direct. But I know what >271 lisapeet: - Lisa meant. I’ve had so many people forget I have no central vision.They'll say, why not see a movie? I tell them I can’t see faces so don’t understand the plots. Then they say to take up knitting.

I sometimes say, “I don’t know any other way of saying it, except LOUDER.”

I made dinner and did 2 loads of laundry and that was a lot for me.

Goin to see the cancer doctor today. First visit.

>276 dianeham: Hope she can answer all your questions

Thinking of you Diane!

Hope it goes well, Diane. Write everything down!

>279 lisapeet: they gave him a copy book to write things down.

We liked the cancer doctor. She ordered a pet scan. He has a fever today.

Do people really want me to post this stuff here. I can’t read anything so far. I start things and they sound stupid. I started a book about talking to whales and it annoyed me and i love whales. My amazon alexa in my bedroom keeps stopping but i don’t know why. The one in the living room is okay.

>281 dianeham: Diane please just post whatever you like. Please. Don’t worry about what you post. Personally I like to know how you are both managing, but only post when and what you are comfortable about posting. As for the books. I always love your book posts. But don’t feel obliged to post at all. This is YOUR time and we all care and understand.

>282 kjuliff: thank you.

I’m waiting. A nurse was coming and is late. The radiation dr’s office doesn’t answer the phone. And a nurse a calling back at noon because Michael had a fever earlier and she wants to check up on him. And I could fall asleep right now.

What >282 kjuliff: said, plus it's good to have a place to go back and look at what you wrote down. Nothing emphasizes how imperfect memory is more than dealing with something overwhelming like illness, yours or others'.

>282 kjuliff: I agree 100%.

>282 kjuliff:, >284 lisapeet: I agree as well. Posting your thoughts and frustrations here in a safe space may help you cope...and that's a wonderful thing. We've all taken advantage of this group in that way at one time or another.

I used to stay up all night - or most of the night - and sleep until noon. Today it’s 7 am and I can’t go back to sleep.

Stress does horrible things to our sleep. I'm glad you liked the cancer dr. Is Michael's fever down today?

I went through a tough time several years ago, and LT was a nice outlet for me, especially since I don't use other social media. Use it as you want and need, there are no rules here.

>288 labfs39: yes, no fever today.

I just started The Woman from Uruguay. It’s only 152 pages but not sure if I'll make it that far.

Tomorrow we go see a radiologist.

— Woman from Uruguay looks good.
— The radiologist will probably be able to give you a schedule. Once you can work out what the treatments are and what appointments are needed, life will become hopefully more stable and predictable.

>291 kjuliff: The radiologist is probably just targeting his leg. After that we find out how the oncologist wants to proceed.

>292 dianeham: OK. When do you get the information from the oncologist.? How is Michael?

We have to get a pet scan and mri and see the ocologist again on May 6.

Michael is pretty good. He seems better every day.

Keep posting, Diane. My thoughts are with you and Michael. Take care.

>295 BLBera: What Beth said. I'm really glad he's feeling better.

I am really sick. Seems to be a virus. I’m coughing and when I stand up, I get very dizzy. I’ve tried 3 time to go in the kitchen and get him some breakfast but I can’t. My heart starts bearing really fast when I try it. He doesn’t want me to call anyone to help us.

Diane such a difficult situation. Sure hoping you get feeling better very soon.

Feeling a little better.

>297 dianeham: I know it's hard, but despite his wishes, if you feel you need help, PLEASE call someone.

>300 laytonwoman3rd: I did. I called our friend who helped us wuth the house and she’s sick too.

How are you now?

I'm a little worried about your health, Diane. How are you feeling now ? As Linda, Laytonwomen said, please call someone if you need help. Best wishes, Diane and Micheal .

I’m much better now.

Touching base and checking up on you and your husband. In being there for Michael you also must not forget Diane. He needs you strong and you need you strong.
I agree with the comments of my friends and peers here - we are all pulling and praying for you both. Sometimes it helps to vent and this is surely a safe place to do that.

>304 dianeham: Good news Diane, so glad that you are feeling better.

Glad you’re feeling better, Diane. Maybe when you both are in a calm time you could talk about why he didn’t want you asking folks for help? Is it a guy/pride thing? (I don’t mean that in a derogatory way—I’ve just seen it play out in our house, especially when the diagnosis was fresh.) Not to get all advicey on you, and apologies if that’s overstepping. Just my own cancer spouse experience that it’s good to get in the habit of hashing out this kind of thing when you can, because it’s a new elephant in the room that doesn’t go away.

>305 PaulCranswick: hi Paul. Thank you
>306 mdoris: thanks
>307 lisapeet: michael accepts help much more now than he did in the past. He would never even ask someone for a ride in the past.

We have company coming tomorrow with meatballs - Michael’s favorite food.

I'm glad you're feeling better, Diane. I hope today's visit (and meatballs) is good.

I started a book yesterday - an early reviewer scifi called All Of Us Alone. So far it’s about a family of aliens who crash land on earth. They don’t look anything like us. They have many many spider like legs and their heads are flat like a fish. They are in the southwest desert hiding out in a silver mine. There is/are? 3 generations, grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, and boy and girl teens. They have a psychic link between them. It’s entertaining.

>310 dianeham: Is it a comedy?
The aliens use North American idioms in their speech, which felt odd to me at time, and would go from not knowing what an object/item was in one sentence to understanding the whole concept of, say, bell peppers
@flagkatnortonwriter

>311 kjuliff: yea, that bothered me too. I don’t think it’s supposed to be a comedy.

A text message from fedex woke me up at 8am so I put do not disturb on until 10 am and proceeded to gave the weirdest dream. In my dreams "home" is usually where I grew up. I left home when I was 19 but it’s where I am in many dreams. The name of the street is Allman St. Ironic much? I went out - wearing a dress - looking for whiskey and a newspaper. I didn’t acquire either but came close. Whiskey was not a good idea since I’ve been sober 45 years. I ended up in some strange buildings that were like mazes. At one point I almost stole a prime rib off someone’s plate. I was in a room and there was a young, very skinny bear there in a bed. A man came in and unbeknownst to him, he laid on top of the bear.

I finally found a newspaper stand but as I was buying a paper, the man sold it to someone else. I was looking for a liquor store but never found one. I kept trying to phone home but phones in my dreams never cooperate. I got a wrong number and the woman who answered was taunting me and suggested I should kill someone. At one point I ended up in a huge space and there were men with automatic rifles. They let me out and actually gave me directions to where I was going.

The last thing that happened was someone gave me directions to get home. I realized I was at a train station and as I crossed to get the train my way was blocked and I missed the train. The end.

Thank you for your dream story. It made my morning. Please put a bit of work on it and submit it to the New Yorker. I’m serious. I also had a dream but mine was a recurring dream. I’ll put it on my own thread later maybe.

>314 kjuliff: Thank you. Funny thing my decluttering friend found a dream catcher and said it’s to keep away bad dreams. And I responded that I don’t have bad dreams. Geez, did I speaks too soon.

I'm glad I don't remember my dreams.

>315 dianeham: I have a dream catcher. They don’t work for me.

>316 labfs39: I think dreams are really important. I’m glad I can remember them.

>317 kjuliff: I can usually alter or direct dreams I am uncomfortable with.

>318 dianeham: That’s very interesting. I’ll try to do that tonight. The worst dream I’ve had was when I was 19. It was so terrible I cannot write it down. I only dreamed it that once.

>319 kjuliff: I had a dream in which I walked up to a woman on the street and told her I was dreaming and she was in my dream. I said I’ll prove it to you by jump over that pile of snow. And then guess what! I couldn’t jump over the snow. Kind of embarrassing.

I wish I was born into one of those societies where everyone shares their dreams every morning.

>320 dianeham: I’m fascinated by your dreams. I really like the idea of telling a dream woman she was in your dream. It’s making me want to talk to people in my dreams, but I’m always alone and so busy cleaning, sorting out papers or making time-tables …. The Henry Lawson guys only turned up because @thorold mentioned that writer recently. Normally I’m all alone.

>322 kjuliff: Maybe I can pop over to one of your dreams :)

>323 dianeham: You will be very welcome. Please carry a bunch of cornflowers so I will recognize you.

>232 dianeham: I am so sorry about this shocking news. Thinking of you both as your husband begins treatment

>297 dianeham: I hope you are feeling a bit better. There is some kind of flu bug circling around at work as well.

>315 dianeham: >321 dianeham: I used to have a dream catcher when I was a kid. It was given to me by a friend of my parents who made it specially for me. When I moved into an apartment for university someone took it while I was hosting a dinner party.

It would be neat to share dreams the morning after. Sometime if dreams are scary, the power it can hold over the dreamer might be released when spoken out loud.

Hope you have a low key week ahead.

This week people have been bringing food. Sunday was meatballs from Philly. Monday was chicken soup from an old friend. And this morning already - spaghetti and meatballs.

This afternoon a nurse and physical therapist are coming.

>326 dianeham: It's so great that you have some help with meals, Diane.

>323 dianeham: You weren’t carrying the cornflowers!

I have no idea how my husband would deal with all this sick stuff if he was alone. All the doctors’ offices, visiting therapists, insurance claims, getting a walker. Getting rides, eating, taking meds. Pretty much all he does is sleep. And eat. And watch videos.

The declutterer and I started on the kitchen today. I was nauseous earlier but better now. She’ll be back tomorrow.

I'm really glad people have been bringing food and I hope that continues. Great to have a declutterer. I could sure use one. Take care, Diane and Micheal.

Stopping by to say hello...

>329 dianeham: It will get easier once you have a routine. It’s overwhelming at first but you cope for the simple reason that you have to. I know as I have several illnesses and I am alone. I do pay for home-help, but all the organizing and picking up of prescriptions, insurance, equipment is done by me. Some days I feel I can’t cope but I do.