Bheind the Eighth Ball with richardderus

Silly buggers, the lot of you. Here it is. Keep it tidy!

Books Off the Shelf group thread is there, where I will review 25 books that've sat on my shelves since who-whipped-the-cat and also 75 new books...published no earlier than 2008...this year.

Reviews 1,2,3: first thread
Reviews 4-7: second thread
Reviews 8-12: : third thread
Reviews 13-20: ... fourth thread
Reviews 21-30: ... fifth thread
Reviews 31-37:... sixth thread
Reviews 38-42: :... seventh thread

I now have a Homeless Reviews thread in Club Read 2010. I've set a completely arbitrary goal of 50 books to review that I don't own, and were published before 2008, so they don't fit anywhere else.

FOR THOSE JUST TUNING IN: I don't know the readers of my reviews personally, for the most part, so I don't have any way to gauge whether you'll agree or disagree with me. It's always perfectly fine with me either way, and I invite comments from all.










Books are reviewed in post number:

46. Seven Cities of Gold...#221

45. The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag...#163

44. A City Comes Out...#104

43. This Book is Overdue!...#31

Oooh! I've never been the first to arrive at someone's thread before! All starred now...

>2 flissp: Fliss darling, you made it! So glad. I know, it's weird not to see Stasia at the ready...she must be bailing someone out, it's not the end of her shift yet.

It may be the 10 minutes of the day in which she sleeps - what time is it over there?

In Texas it's 7:03a...I think her shift ends at 8a, but I could be wrong. It's unsettling, though, not to see her johnny-on-the-spot.

Bheind the Eighth Ball? Sounds like the name of a Hindu mystic.

LOL

That's me...Guru of the Bookstacks!

I have nothing interesting to say, but I'm here to read all the same! Smooches.

#8 Ditto!

*smooches* back to y'all! Heck, *I* don't have anything interesting to say at the moment, since I have a reading and research assignment for The Divine Miss. Needs to be done today, since tomorrow's going to be vilely hot again and I want to go to the beach.

*she waves*...and staggers off...anticipating another 90 degree swelter....

i love that "Eighth" ball bit.....who knew, sweetie?

;-}

Well...let's at least pump this one up to an even dozen before we even get to a book--imagine--we want books??? Richard, you have put me to shame. I promise to set new thread up very soon...

waves as she goes off to watch soccer

Happy reading and researching, Dear Richard. And, as to tomorrow, happy beaching time. Sounds as though you had a wonderfully fun weekend.

I was shocked AND appalled that YOUR thread went over the "allowed" two hundred and fifty posts. I am so relieved to discover that you have stepped up to take care of the former situation and have begun this new, fresh thread.

Kath, do you still have a copy of the arrest warrant for Mr. Derus? Keep it dusted off and ready in case he slips up again. Okay? Faithlessness is NOTHING when compared to literary overages and verbosity.

Look at you all sneaking over here while I obliviously continue posting in thread #7.....posting right under the obviously too subtle announcement of an eighth thread. Where's the bold blinking text, I ask?

>11 jdthloue: *snerk* I don't need to advertise, dearest.

>12 tututhefirst: Let that be a lesson to you, young lady! SOME of us are proper netizens. If sleepy ones.

>13 womansheart: Woofie! Welcome! I? Faithless? In what manner have I deserved such opprobrious description?

>14 ty1997: Tom, if you know the code to make things blink, share...elsewise, read carefully!

(last thread) You remember that incident too? I thought it was hilarious, though I didn't see it myself. My younger brother told me about it and I had a wicked giggle.

Hi Richard, let's get you on to thread nine ASAP;)

Just wandering through...on my way to feed the tomatoes. They'd like some of your heat, Richard.

*stands outside blowing and waving his arms south-by-southwest*

I'm going against the Jet Stream, Roni, but tryin' my best!

Here in SE Ohio...I am sitting in front of my laptop...with the ceiling fan running..plus a floor-fan blowing directly on the laptop (her "fan" died last year..and i have a Lap Top Cooler underneath her tush already) It's too damned hot for June..this is August weather...perish the thought of what the "Real" August will bring.....

*yurk*

;-}

It's still only June? Dang! Hot, hot, hot, did I mention hot, here in the deep-ish south.

Although I must say I've been in Maine when it's been well over 90 several days in a row...about twenty miles north of Portland, and with little a.c. available. But the water, oh my, how wonderful.

Love the new thread name, Richard.

Hey ho, ricardo .... it's hot and muggy out here, and dark dark clouds are rolling in .. .methinks we're in for a thunderstorm later tonight. Maybe i should go look for a book tonight that speaks to dark stormy nights .... any suggestions?

>20 jdthloue: Jude...real August will be 65F and cloudy from the 1st to the 28th, then 85F and sunny until 9/6, then back to 65F and cloudy.

>21 Matke: It's only 90F for a few days in a row? Pshaw! Anything over a week is Bush-Administration-style torture, less is to sneeze at.

>22 cameling: Thunderstorm reading...I'd go with any of Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files books! OOO, or join the group read of Sabriel!

Drats ... I've got the Dresden File books on my wish list but none in my TBR Tower as yet. I might have to make do with Amagansett by Mark Mills ... ok, it's not dark stormy night material, but it's still edgy .. at least I hope it will be. Or maybe a Fred Vargas .. I've got some of his stuff in my TBR Tower

Actually, I think Amagansett might fill the bill nicely. I liked that book.

Amagansett it shall be then. Now to get myself home in an hour's time.

>23 richardderus:

yeah, Richard..bite me.!!!

*polite as i can be*

oh god, i'll get flak for THAT but(t)......

Found and starred rdear. Now I am running off to read. Wicked storm here.... but I had to come and post about my Amy's dog...

Scary..

Glad to see that you finally put up a new thread though.....................................

#5: Yes, my shift ends at 8am, but I do not work Tuesday nights, only Thursday-Sunday. I actually went to sleep Tuesday night with a sick headache so I missed out. Sorry, Richard. Maybe next thread :)

Hope you're better Stasia! Hello Richard :)

Review: 43 of seventy-five

Title: THIS BOOK IS OVERDUE!: How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All

Author: MARILYN JOHNSON

Rating: 3.7* of five

One full star off for snarky reference to avoiding dog ownership and absence of similar judgment on cat-ownership's insanity.

I thoroughly enjoyed (most of) this book. It's true that I'm a recent re-convert to library usage, after many years of avoiding them because of one old prune-faced, pursey-lipped hag's humiliation of me: She wouldn't let twelve-year-old me check out Stranger in a Strange Land "because it has S-E-X in it" until my mother approved. Mama's rejoinder to that was, "Honey, so does life. If you're lucky." (Actually, she was middle-aged, plump, and wore a HUGE cross around her neck...when she was done with her mischief, I made my mother laugh by saying, "too bad it wasn't the crown of thorns.")

But the many and various challenges that libraries face are completely transparent to the public that uses them. We just expect that they'll keep on being there, checking books out to us, providing online resources for our kids and grandkids, being waystations for us when our own Internet connections go down or whatever. We're not fond of paying for the libraries, either, as demonstrated by the readiness of governments of all sizes to cut their acquisition, staffing, maintenance budgets to the bone and beyond, to the point of amputation.

Fortunately, The Librarian is a resolute and resilient subspecies of Homo "sapiens", and has cleverly disguised itself in some very odd places...Google "Second Life" sometime and go for a walk on the Weird Side! Lots of librarians talked to author Johnson, and told her tales of woe; but she heard paeans of praise and odes to joy, too, and reports each and all of these classes of utterance with clarity and asperity.

Libraries and librarians have moved onto the World Wide Web with verve and enthusiasm...but back in RL, things aren't so rosy. The New York Public Library's iconic building at Forty-second and Fifth will, for the first time in forty years, house a circulating library. It comes at the cost of the Asian and Russian collections, but what the hell...the money from redeveloping the Mid-Manhattan Branch's site into yet another hotel will do some good, too, right? But...and this is where I get madder than hell...can any amount of material gain make up for the loss to the culture of the world that two collections of rare, irreplaceable material objects (the papers of the Tsarist government! the contents of a monastery's library!) properly curated and indexed represent? I presume the fact that I bother to phrase the question tells you what MY answer is.

I said in another review that "{h}istory is the beautiful, brightly lit foam on top of the annihilating tsunami of the unrecorded past. History books are the spectrographic analysis of the light glinting off that foam." Yes, but I left out a key component: Without a library to house, organize, cross-reference, FIND that book, what good does the damned thing do?

Support your local library in a PRACTICAL way. And go hug a librarian.

Great review, Richard. The closet librarian in me needs to read this book.

Regarding supporting your library in a practical way: I owed $0.40 in fines to CPL, so I gave them a dollar and told them to keep the change (impressed with my rich ways, are you) and they said no, no no! We must give exact change back to you! I'm sure the library staff would have been happy to have my extremely generous $0.60, but some administrator (I'll just blame Mayor Daley by proxy) made that impossible.

My librarians are darling people and I do like them so hugging them the next time I visit will not be an issue .. I generally do anyway. Good review there, ricardo ... but i don't think i'll be reading this.

No comment re: libraries.....
The books sounds ~ not my thing right now, but lovely review, as always...might even have to go and thumb it..!!!!

Already read that one, so I dodge that particular book bullet.

I LOVE my local librarians Susan, Donna, Anissa, Michael, Jennifer, Brenda, Marilyn and LeeAnne.

I love your stories. Another entertaining review.

"because it has S-E-X in it" until my mother approved. Mama's rejoinder to that was, "Honey, so does life. If you're lucky."

Haha, that had me laughing. Love it.

Great review Richard. :)

>32 ty1997: Tom...now that just seems perverse, turning money away! Not even a "tip jar" next to the register? Weird.

>33 cameling: Chicken! You'd like it, really you would, go on and give it a Pearl-Rule 50pp!

>34 mckait: You and I share the affliction of local liberries staffed by cats-in-human-form, officious censorious unpleasant beings with NO desire to help or be helpful.

>35 alcottacre: *snaps fingers* Blast! And I was aiming *directly* at you, too.

>36 London_StJ: *blush* You're very kind to a fat hairy old bald man, dear, your reward is in Heaven.

>37 Ape: Stephen, my mother was a stitch! Very, very amusing raconteuse, and quick with a line. Mean old pedophilic monster, but charming and funny!

Pwwuakk puck puck puck puck ...

Another great review, Richard. I grew up as a heavy, not to say compulsive, library user. Now mostly I ignore the clerks at our local main branch, who have been happy to ignore me, and also happy to give me curt, bordering-on-rude directions when I'm brave or foolish enough to ask for assistance. Thank God we have online reservations, automatic pick-up, and digitized checkout. And I'm really not complaining, as the library is actually in another state and allows those of us living in the hinterlands free access. I donate as I can.

Of course, our *instate* (almost typed "insane") local library has one-tenth of the books available and charges, oh, three or four dollars per year for out-of-county use, which I am happy to pay. Their clerks are friendly and helpful. I guess you just take your chances.

My dream is to be a volunteer clerk; I'd try to be kind. If I ever have consistent free time, I swear I will serve in a cheerful manner.

Our "little" library did away with official fines, and tell people when they ask "just give us whatever you think keeping the book was worth" --you get much more then you'd ever get with fines, and thankfully small town bookeeping doesn't require us to keep track of the nickels and dimes. We use that money to pay for the postage to return Inter-library loans.

Great review Richard - this is one that is near the top of my TBR list. Once again, I find much to agree with you about, and I haven't even read the book.

ETA - BTW, at my mom's home library in Baltimore, they no longer charge overdue fines. Instead, you pay for 'extended borrowing period' - love the positive spin!!

It's no wonder I love my library so much, the people there are so nice. They make a mumbling bumbling fool like myself feel very comfortable. :)

The librarians at my local branch were friendly and helpful when I needed them. Otherwise, I only interact with the check-out folks (who, as I understand it here, are not librarians). Everyone's always been friendly and helpful at this and the other branches I've been to.

I still can't believe they don't The Wire though. Can't expect perfection, I guess.

Regarding libraries and librarians...If you are so inclined, please send up prayers/positive energy for Gregg, my wonderful librarians husband who had a kidney removed today. Originally it was planned to removed 1/4 of the kidney. Sadly, cancer was discovered.

The positive news is that no chemo or radiation is recommended at this time. Stephanie is a dear, wonderful person who was a previous patient of my partner.

------------

Richard, wonderful, wonderful review...as always!

#38.. true dearie...

DVR took care of that show as soon as I got in, but I will have missed 20 minutes..

It is a lovely evening and Dunkers and I were hanging out outside :)

I will watch it tomorrow early afternoon when dan leaves. I tried to watch but.. instead used the DVR, because dan was not interested in watching ....ahem

#40 I and my children after me were VERY heavy library users... rd has it right
though, and these days.....not so much.

>39 cameling: Good lawsy me! Someone left the chicken coop open! Stephen, you're youngest, go close it up.

>40 Matke: Gail, I am just glad for you that there *is* a liberry near enough to be useful. Many, many rural dwellers aren't so lucky.

>41 tututhefirst: Tina...that's inspired! I'd give a buck or two in fee-fines for fun had. (I think that had a familiar rhythm....)

>42 Ape: They are good people, then, for not mocking you and voluntarily sending your borrowing records to the FBI. (Read the book, you'll know what I'm talking about.)

>43 ty1997: Tom, the liberry I actually use is in a different village very close by, and it's staffed by some lovely and knowledgeable and helpful folks. Love 'em! Gonna remember 'em in my will!

>44 Whisper1: Linda, how very distressing. I've got Gregg on our healing circle's list.

>45 mckait: Instant replay at 11p, if you want to adjust the DVR. Might one inquire as to why there isn't a second TV in the house?

Love your review Richard. Thumbed. Longtime library user and lover. I could never afford to buy all the books I read but as your review notes, libraries have become much, much more. And judging by how busy the libraries around here are, they serve a very hungry public.

Richard

I realize that some of my favorite reads are recommendations from you. Specifically, The Birds of East Africa, Beasts of No Nation and Montana 1948...So, a BIG thanks to you!

46: Oh dear, yes...my borrowing records must look...errr, suspicious.

My library has a copy of the book, I'll have to add it to the wishlist.

46 There are several other tv's. i have one in my bedroom. I think that if I asked my friend to accompany me to my bedroom, she might think I was getting fresh.
;-)

She left soon after. I will watch it at 11 though... thank you :)

#44: Sorry to hear about your librarian's husband, Linda. Hopefully the nephrectomy will be sufficient for a cure.

Just dropping in to say hi. I've been over on your Club Read thread, thinking I was here.

Hi Richard, the book sounds interesting but I think I'll pass this time. I love my local library system - they actually buy the books I find on LT;)

>47 brenzi: Thanks, Bonnie! And aren't we glad they do serve us? Where else in time has there been such a giant gift by the taxpayers to themselves?

>48 Whisper1: Awww, Linda...thanks, but consider it just returning the favor.

>49 Ape: Suspicious? I suspect that you're due for a home visit by men in black suits, reflective sunglasses, and a length of hose....

>50 mckait: she might think I was getting fresh
THINK?! ;-P

>51 kidzdoc: Nephrectomy. Now that's a mouthful. Hope I never have to say it while I'm drunk.

>52 avatiakh: Glad you got here, Kerry...it's the disadvantage of having three threads.

>53 calm: Well, calm, I don't know how much if the information would apply to English libraries anyway...we have things like computers and online catalogs, as opposed to page boys in tights who bring huge, leather-bound tomes to chain up to reading desks lit only by the faint glow of stained-glass clerestory windows in drafty old castles.

Gee, that sounds *good*!

54: I guess I better cancel that order for the centrifuge, incubator, and freezer. Hmmm... ;-P

>56 Ape: LOL

Depends on how scary you find the hose, I guess.

Great review Richard - probably one I shall skip however.

Goodness, you could hardly keep me out of all the various local (there are advantages to growing up on the border of two counties) and school libraries when I was still at school - and my school librarian in particular was wonderful - I have very fond memories of her.

When I left school, I got into the habit of always buying books (mostly 2nd hand) and the only time I would ever go to a library was when I was abroad (good travel tip - there is almost always free internet in libraries - incidentally, I thought that the librarians and staff in the huge central Chicago library were very friendly - it's an amazing place). However, since buying my own flat and discovering a local library just round the corner (lovely people) I've been wondering why I ever stopped using them - it's such a great way to discover books you wouldn't try otherwise...

I worry a bit about their funding too - I can't see how they can possibly make money on the system of fines and CD/DVD charges that they have currently - and they recently stopped asking money for inter-county loans too...

"we have things like computers and online catalogs, as opposed to page boys in tights who bring huge, leather-bound tomes to chain up to reading desks lit only by the faint glow of stained-glass clerestory windows in drafty old castles" - SPLUTTER!!! (*tries hopelessly to mop up all the tea that went everywhere*)

#55 she isn't my type..

*hands flissp a tissue*

loved the show rd... silly me crying..
discuss later?

>61 mckait: Check. I'll be here after 3p. I cried too.

xo

Good lawsy me! Someone left the chicken coop open! Stephen, you're youngest, go close it up.

Right, I see how it is. You think just because I'm from Ohio I know something about farming. Well, I'll have you know... ... ..oh, alright *closes the chicken coop*

I like a young man who respects his elders....
*grin*

Respect? Oh no, it's just that I fear Richard's hose more than I fear the FBI's...

..... o i c

page boys in tights who bring huge, leather-bound tomes to chain up to reading desks lit only by the faint glow of stained-glass clerestory windows in drafty old castles

I want to join that library on at least four counts.

>65 Ape: LOL!

>67 Eat_Read_Knit: Yeah, Caty, even I think it sounds good.

I love you picture of British libraries but ... Well there is one where you can't take the books away



but this is the one I use the most



Not very castle like!

63> Your post made me think of this (and for that I apologize in advance): I had a friend in college who was a poultry science major. I learned from her that chickens in the US are bred really fat (we love our chicken breasts). They are so fat that they can't mate....it's not physically possible to get in position. Artificial insemination must be used. But in order to inseminate, you need to collect the sample. So for one of her classes, she had to learn how to....generate a sample from a male. (Apparently: rubbing/tickling the belly is the answer.)

On a completely different note, I must go to the library (often) when I'm in England in August.

>69 calm: I like your local better than mine:



This gives a completely false bucolic image of the place...it's got a seven-story apartment building where the lamppost is, for example...but it's just *blah* no matter what.

>70 ty1997: Another job I will *never* apply for.

So for one of her classes, she had to learn how to....generate a sample from a male. (Apparently: rubbing/tickling the belly is the answer.)

Hmm, I've had my belly rubbed and tickled but never had a result like that...

Your libraries look so nice. Mine's a small-town library, one floor...basically one small room until last year, when there was a HUGE addition that pretty much doubled it's size, which is fantastic! They don't have a picture on their website though...

I just found a picture from before they expanded, just picture two of these and you'll get the idea. :D



Not nearly as fancy-looking as your guys' libraries, but I love the place. :)

...very small.

Well as long as we're showing pictures here's the library I most often utilize. I like the UK's better but this one's very, very good as far as having and/or getting what I want/need.

Here's my library...

Maybe Richard you ought to start a "show a picture of your library" thread so we can keep you from having 100 threads before the end of the year.

Catching up, oh, 64 messages on the previous thread and 76 on this?

Great review, Richard. I shall go impart a thumb!

Ah, library talk!

thankfully small town bookeeping doesn't require us to keep track of the nickels and dimes.

Our small-town library keeps a tally of the nickels and dimes on a paper form for each day -- fines, donations, photcopy, fax, and book sale money -- but we're always willing to accept EXTRA for the library fund. Can't get over the library that must give exact change for fines. Never heard of a library that doesn't take cash donations. NEVER. Definitely sounds like something some big city bureaucrat came up with -- surely not a librarian! I like the idea of blaming the Mayor. I've found that big-city library systems have a lot more rules and assorted balderdash than small town operations do.

#44 Linda, I'll be happy to remember your librarian's husband in my prayers!

ETA to fix the spelling. Oops!

Here are photos of the two libraries I frequent:

Just here to wave & vanish... :-)
Nothing intelligent to say at all today. Not even a library photo to post, unless it's the Chatterbox ambulatory library.

ditto 79

Wow, these pictures are great! I can almost feel the love for the institutions you're frequenting just from the fact y'all're posting pictures of 'em.

I've reviewed *one* book in 80 posts...I need to get crackin' here! I need to write reviews of The Beebo Brinker Chronicles, Small g, and Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress. I've decided I don't need to do a full review of A Personal Matter by Kenzaburo Oe because all I can say is "YUCK," and that's not a real review.

Oh c'mon ladies, I never have anything intelligent to say, but does that slow me down? Not a bit. :)

>82 Ape: The *difference* is, though, that they're *capable* of intelligent commentary and therefore feel an obligation not to let the side down, Stephen.

Don't worry about figuring that out, it's smart-people stuff...we won't hold it against you. Promise!

;-P

Why I oughta...



=)

LOL!

>76 tututhefirst: - I love the idea of a thread devoted to pictures of libraries (but not volunteering to actually do anything about it....)

Local library pictures...yey! This is my fav in Toronto. It's not the one closest to me (that one is ugly) but it's the one I frequent the most. It has a great YA section!

My adorable childhood library. The second floor ceiling was around 30 feet high, and 25 feet up there was a door. It always fascinated me where that door went and why it might be there.



My current local library branch:



And, of course, the amazing main branch:

Tom, that's a really twee little liberry from childhood...looks like fairies and ogres and leprechauns used it, and there's even a Tinkerbelle Door for them to use.

Since it seems interest in the idea of sharing our spiritual homes with each other is real, here's a thread where we can do that!

You are all making me jealous...the library that I help out does not even have its own building! It's on the 2nd floor of our community center, which used to be an old school building. It takes up the space of about 3 former classrooms. But in spite of that, it has the best circulation of all the libraries in the county!
One day we hope to raise enough money for them to move out and 'have their own place.'

I posted my pictures in your new picture thread..

waiting dinner for you....

Richard, many thanks for starting the picture your library thread. I look forward to finding others who (like moi) exist in 936 sq ft of one room school house. Your leadership is truly appreciated.

* hands over a brand new gimmee*

So all sorted for the return of Auntie?
Glad that you had a little break.. caregiving is arduous and emotionally draining..

>92 tututhefirst: Leadership? Huh...just seemed like the thing to do so I did it. Never thought of it as leadership.

>94 mckait: Oh heavens no! I've just bowed to the inevitable. The Divine Miss will be here, so I plan to stand back and watch, since I've expressed my opinion and my ideas and had them roundly and rudely rejected. I don't agree with, and I won't support, her ideas.

I suspect that she will come around...

It's 88degrees here and i'm puddling...but stopped by to say hello...love all the Library pics, but can't find a decent one of our County Library here...and the ones I haunted in Akron throughout my childhood (until I left at age 18) have changed so drastically..they aren't the same (though they are awesome..from the Pics I saw last night) as the humble Liberrys that saved my sanity when I was young...Like CHATTERBOX..i think I'll have to take some pics of my in-house version..bookcases upstairs, downstairs, all over the house!!

;-}

Jude: Would this be the one:



>:)

Not a "decent" picture though, I suppose. But better than nothing...assuming it's the right building... :)

These are great pictures .... I'll have to remember to take a photo of my library tomorrow and post it.

Love the library pictures, but it makes me like the uninspired architecture of our libraries here even more. Sigh...

Why thank you, Stephen..that's the only one I found...and it is the right building. I wanted a view from the actual front of the building..this is a side view...Oh well..if I can I'll try to take my own pic this week when I "go to town"...otherwise...yours will do fine....thanks again!!!

;-}

Jude: Haha, I always say "go to town!" People used to always laugh at me when I said it. Not sure why, I really was...going to town...that's how it works when you live "in the woods!"

omg.. rd, I can hardly wait to send you this book!
hilarious!

Review: 44 of seventy-five

Title: A CITY COMES OUT: How Celebrities Made Palm Springs a Gay and Lesbian Paradise

Author: DAVID WALLACE

Rating: 3* of five

Oh my dear sweet goddesses. ANOTHER gossipy tell-not-so-much entry in the evergreen (apparently) "Was THAT ONE queer, too?" celebrity book genre.

I don't really care that much who is/was/will be disporting him/erself in what fashion, or with whom. I don't like the idea of invading someone's privacy, unless they've asked me to (eg, porn, magazine interview). So why did I procure this little marvy? Because it was a buck.

It's not poorly written, for the genre. It's not awful, it's not wonderful, it's just...dreary. Some of the celebrities Wallace profiles need defining for audiences younger than Wallace, so he does...which ends up making me feel older than dirt. (I mean, Tab Hunter? Janet Gaynor? Y'all've never heard of THEM?!)

What I hoped for when I got the book was a spiced-up treatment of Palm Springs's social changes and what they mean to GLBTQs of all ages. What I got was a dulled-down version of a smutty tell-all.

Recommend it? To whom? And why?

#104: OK, skipping that one and sincerely hoping your next read is better.

(Oh, and I have heard of both Tab Hunter and Janet Gaynor - yes, I am old!)

I mean, Tab Hunter? Janet Gaynor? Y'all've never heard of THEM?!

...nope...

But then, I'm completely out of the loop with current celebrities. When I see a picture of someone I recognize, I say "Ohhh, that's that person from such-and-such movie." I'm hopeless beyond that, so I probably don't count.

Tab Hunter - did they name the diet soda after him?
Janet Gaynor - is that Gloria's sister?

*Checks to make sure it is not on tbr pile.. sighs with relief...*

Thanks, Richard. I would have bought it for the same reason you did. Sometimes it's difficult to find information which is entertaining yet not, um, tawdry or worse: dull.

http://planetgreen.discovery.com/videos/the-fabulous-beekman-boys/

http://beekman1802.com/

for your viewing pleasure~

I don't believe that there are any spoilers...

>104 richardderus: I'm old enough to remember Tab Hunter singing "Young Love" but I still don't want to read that book Richard. Thanks for the honest review.

The whole current celebrity dirt-dish tell-all mania leaves me cold. Can we possibly find some real role models to hold up to our youth? Just because I bare my bosoms (or other parts), pump my lips full of some toxic substance (hello---it's a toxin for god's sake), strut around in shoes high enough to put a 14th st hooker to shame, do booze, drugs, and try out as many spouses (same sex, other sex, mine or yours) as I can, does that make me a hero? Does the fact that I can run faster, put more balls through a hoop, or race my car around the track faster than you, make me better than you and therefore to be adored and followed by the venal paparazzi?

I'm not advocating we hand our kids Butler's Lives of the Saints either. I just wish we could get them to realize the real people to admire and look up to should be parents, teachers, coaches, policemen, authors, poets, artists, scientists, etc etc .

Yep...showing my age. I believe in college as a opportunity to get an education (not job training) and I remember Tad Hunter, Janet Gaynor, Annette Funicello and even Arthur Godfrey.

Sorry....rant over.

112: Yea but...Keira Knightley was so hot in Robin Hood.

Oh, errr, no, really, I agree! Even though I still don't know who any of these people are. :)

ETA: Oh, see? It was called Princess of Thieves, where she pretended to be Robin Hood. I'm so clueless on this subject!

Hi There Richard! Does your freedom end tomorrow, ie is July 1 the date Auntie is scheduled to return home?

>114 Whisper1: In she comes, like a cold front, bright and early on 7/1. *sigh* It was a delicious vacation.

Who's Keira Knightly? There's a Robin Hood since Kevin Costner?

I watched "Bell, Book, and Candle" with Turkish Delight this evening. He took a whole night off work to canoodle, since we're losing our clear field as of tomorrow. Kim Novak impressed him, but he got *really* interested in Jimmy Stewart. Apparently blue-eyed old guys do it for him. (Thank GOODness!) I don't think he got the point of the film, but he remarked that it was a lot more fun that the crappy movie we went to see last month. (I don't even remember which one it was, it bored me so badly.)

Ah well. Here we go, back into caregiving hell.

#88 A photo of the main Chicago library! I loved the building and tried to get a photo, but there was absolutely no way to fit it all into the frame. Clearly a helecopter was needed (or a high-rise view)...

#113 Did her hotness make up for her plank-like acting abilities?

Who's Keira Knightly?

I wondered the same thing. I didn't know who she was when I watched the movie last year, I was just browsing around TV, the title of the movie caught my attention, and then the lady did the same. Afterward I googled her and was mortified by her hideous red carpet pictures. I still haven't figured out why women insist on plastering their faces with pig lard (or whale fat or cow shit, or whatever your preference might be.)

Kevin Costner can't touch this or this. Sorry Richad. =P

(Yes, I know ladies wear pig lard on their faces in movies, but it's made to look natural, not clown makeup)

#113 Did her hotness make up for her plank-like acting abilities?

Absolutely not...well, usually. The reason I can't stand the horror movie genre is because casters insist on casting boneheaded young men and women who can't act for their life, but look "pretty" on screen. Sorry, I don't care how large your chest is, if you can't act then I'm not interested. I mean really, if I want to see women with large breasts screaming at the top of their lungs, I'll go rent a porno. I'm watching a horror movie and I expect good acting and dark atmosphere...and horror movie casters just don't get that.

This is probably why I don't like movies much at all. If casters can start casting good actors over good LOOKING actors, I'd probably enjoy them a lot more.

But...in this instance, yes, her hotnss made up for her bad acting! :) It's not my nature, but I watched the entire movie, which wasn't great, with my eyes glued to the actress the entire time. I guess I really do have an inner "sexist pig" in me somewhere, it's hidden most of the time but I guess on occassion it rears it's ugly head. :(

--->117 Ape:: Perhaps the rather vapid (in the physical attraction department; just one old and odd woman's opinion) Costner isn't in it with Keira, but do check out picks of Errol Flynn in the old movie and even Bail Rathbone in the same flick as the villain. Suh-huh-huh-exy.

--->115 richardderus:: Love Bell, Book, and Candle, Richard. An old favorite. Personally I never find Stewart physically compelling, but his persona more than makes up for that. And Kim Novak in that film simply oozes appeal.

Sorry your grind of personal hell is restarting. I hope you enjoyed and made the most of your respite.

To be perfectly clear, I do't find Costner all that appealing, I just had no idea there'd been a Robin Hood flick after his. Further clarifying that clarification, if Mr, Costner were to appear in my bed, eating crackers, I would not exile him.

Miss Knightley is a bland little porridge compared to Kim Novak (who also couldn't act, but who cares?)

The latest Robin Hood 'stars' Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett.

Kim Novak? No no, that just won't do I'm afraid. But then, I've been accused of being attracted to the "little and cute, almost boyish" women, so...*shrug* As a matter of fact, in that Kiera Knightley movie, her father (Robin Hood) is imprisoned or some such and so she dons her fathers gear and passes herself off as a young man. ...hmmm...

...and he doesn't even Hood-up until the last 5 mins... ...and there's no tongue-in-cheek-ness - it's soooo earnest! Kevin Costner may be another plank, but I love "Robin Hood Prince of Thieves" - I don't think anyone will ever top Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham ;o)

#117 "I guess I really do have an inner "sexist pig" in me somewhere, it's hidden most of the time but I guess on occassion it rears it's ugly head." - nowt wrong with finding a lady attractive! I'm sure I've been to see films purely because Guy Pierce or Joaquin Phoenix was in them ;o) (of course, both of those can act...)

I've never heard of the Kiera Knightley Robin Hood thing (Robin Hood's daughter?!?!) - worth investigating, or was the only interest Ms Knightley? (bear in mind I do like ridiculous swashbuckle type films of the "Die Hard"/"Gladiator" ilk...)

123: Well, I can't really say, I mean, I was only really pay attention to one aspect of the movie...

It was, I believe, a made-for-TV movie, and I saw it on one of those USA//TNT/Spike channels (forget which one, I lump them all together as "those channels that play the 1 same show over and over and over again.) It was on one of those channels that play TV shows all week and then movies on the weekend.

The movie wasn't terrible, I guess... I'm just not a big movie guy. Don't watch a lot of them and am usually not all that interested in them. However, I managed to watch the entire thing. So either Kiera had me so enamoured I couldn't change the channel for multiple...or it wasn't half bad. *shrug*

I searched for it on my satelite...it's not showing up, so it's not going to be played for atleast 2 weeks. :(

"Well, I can't really say, I mean, I was only really pay attention to one aspect of the movie...
" - LOL ;o)

Knightly is a cutie, I just wish she'd drop the Kate Moss look and eat a sammich.

Now all of you go rent Love Actually, stat.

Love Actually is one of my favorite movies. I second ty1997.

I don't wanna watch a movie! Movies are *boring* and movies with plank-shaped actresses are even more boring! Women should have curves, heavy hips, and be well-padded, or else they're pretty much men without the extras. What's the point?

Love Actually is a British ensemble. Knightly brought it to my mind because she is, in fact, in it...but like everyone else she's only a small part of the movie (she is not the reason I am recommending the movie, though she is unobjectionable in it) I suggest seeing it for Emma Thompson and Colin Firth. And the hilarious Bill Nighy.

I should warn you though: The movie is heartwarming.

Not a big fan of the Keira Knightly storyline in "Love Actually", even though it does feature Egg from "This Life", but I loved the Bill Nighy story and as you say, Emma Thompson is wonderful in it (actually, she always is, in my opinion).

Ah, I love films, even the truly ridiculous ones. I don't watch much regular TV though, so does that even things up a bit?

I don't watch much regular TV though, so does that even things up a bit?
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Perhaps! I watch more TV than movies because I can consume it in bite-sized chunks. I frequently will turn my tv and catch a 30 minutes-an hour of Steve Colbert or Mythbusters. :)

Richard, 128: Well Richard, not all of us like the "extras." :) As far as small/plank-like vs. curviness, I can't say either of them is a good or bad "choice." Beauty comes in many forms, physical and otherwise, and I certainly don't prefer any particular one over any other. You can probably find just as many women with giant breasts and wide hips who look masculine as you rail-thin boyish girls who are absolutely feminine.

Knightly is a cutie, I just wish she'd drop the Kate Moss look and eat a sammich.

Indeed, another thing that's hard to understand. I don't like skeletons, I don't like clowns...yet it seems Hollywood is exclusively populated by skeletal clowns. :o

Ohhh, I loved the Bill Nighy storyline in Love, Actually! Who wasn't singing 'Christmas is all around' for weeks afterwards? And the immortal line on the kid's show... 'Now kids, listen to your Uncle Billy. Don't buy drugs... Become a popstar and they give them you for free!'

I'm divided on Keira. She has moments where I like her acting (The Edge of Love) and moments where she's the definitive plank; she has moments where I think 'good Lord, you're beautiful' and others where she leaves me cold. There you go...

Oh, and Stephen - I LOVE Mythbusters! Adam Savage: Legend. 'I reject your reality and substitute my own!' Sounds like a good maxim for us bookworms...

Oh Crikey..i can't keep up

but

#128...i have definite "curves & padding" i also have ATTITUDE and a "foul mouth"...plus a few guns (which i know How To Use).....yeah, whatever

*wink*

;-}

*sulks*

Oh oh! I have curves and and padding too!

...errr, of course, it's not so attractive on guys I suppose...

*sulks too*

curves and padding here, too, also an attitude. Mouth a bit less foul than it once was. No guns, however... I did once shoot a crossbow and hit the bullseye! (she said hopefully)

I don't have any guns either. I do have an old slingshot from my childhood though! As far as bullseyes go...not so much. I was lucky to shoot a rock off without hitting my own finger. Don't ask. :)

Good thing ain't no guns around the ol' plantation today. Auntie came home.

Oh dear god.

This is gonna be hell on a cracker. FINALLY The Divine Miss gets it, there will be no stair-climbing twice a day for her. Not even a remote possibility. So now I am the cater-waiter, on top of everything else, planning, shopping for, cooking, and carrying her meals up to her three times a day, plus bathroom help, plus plus....

The little dear needs to be in a facility. She's past the time in her life when she can do anything at all for herself except breathe. Something needs to change very soon to make this either affordable for us (ie, another $8K a month to pay for 24-hr help) or we're not going to last very long as is.

I am uncheerful. I'm also exhausted. Bedtime for Bonzo.

Sorry, Richard. I wish I could help.

Big hugs to you Richard. What you are doing is not easy!

Be sure to check out any local organizations that might provide free assistance in some way (deliveries, medical equipment, etc...), Richard. Exhausting yourself won't help.

It's a tough time, Richard, with some difficult decisions to be made. Best wishes to you - I know it's not easy.

Hang in there... I dread this happening with one of my parents one day.
Does she not want to be in a facility?
At some point, she must realize that if she kills you both, she's going to end up there anyway.
(Sorry if that sounds callous, but... my grandfather killed himself, literally, caring for my grandmother after her stroke(s), so I have strong views on this.)

Richard Dear - my heart goes out to you. The demands placed on you are way too much. Carve as much Richard time out of this nightmare as you can and make sure you take care of YOUR health. Sending big warm hugs your way.

My husband's mother is in a 24/7 facility and when we go to visit her I realize how much of a burden caring for a senior is. The medicine, the personal care, the meals, the dealing with an elderly and usually confused person whose quality of life is less than optimal are relentless and draining. And when they have to go to the hospital for falls or heart arrhythmia or whatever, as soon as they can be kicked back home or to a rehab THEN home from the hospital because of insurance, that's what happens.

My sister's FiL is starting to go into the hospital for heart problems regularly, but they bounce him home as soon as they can, usually with a new infection acquired in the hospital that he then has to go back into the hospital to get treated.

My husband's father has been in the hospital twice this year, once in rehab for 3 weeks after that then home. Step-mom is exhausted from caring for him when he's home but still has to work part time to make ends meet.

My neighbor Louise is scared to death that her husband will need to go somewhere sooner than later because of his Alzheimers. He's starting to forget major things and can't be relied on to finish tasks he starts or care for their dogs properly. Plus he follows her around like a puppy dog himself.

It makes one scared to get old, for sure.

Massive amounts of sympathy Richard. We recently had to have my Nana put in a home - for much the same reasons you note. She really could not take care of herself any more and it was becoming a 24/7 job for the family. And whilst she was a bit confused at first, now she's really happy there. She was really lonely and now she has friends all around. Plus there's always someone on duty to give her a cup of tea and put her back to bed when she goes wandering off in the middle of the night...

Hugs, best wishes, sympathy etc. heading your way, Richard. That's one difficult job you've got there, and I do hope you can find a way to make it bearable.

Oh Richard, I'm sorry you had such a dreadful day - caring full time for someone must be extraordinarily exhausting for both of you. I hope you manage to find a workable solution and that a good night's sleep did you some good.

Richard, just adding my own hugs to the pile. And I know you are not one of those anti-national health care people, so I don't need to say a word about that, do I?

Sounds like a tough time. I hope you all can work everything out and come to an agreement.

>139 alcottacre: Thanks, Stasia...I wish you could too! We'd at least be able to talk about books.

>140 Whisper1: You know, Linda, it's not *hard*...it's just wearing, grindingly wearing, to worry all the time.

>141 jadebird: Excellent advice...several organizations exist to give me a "day off" for 4-5 hours, and they'll be contacted rest assured!

>142 Copperskye: No, Joanne, it's not easy, but it's got to be done...this is a little old lady who never married or had children. Can you imagine how lucky she is?!

>143 Chatterbox: Suzanne, I don't think she's ever thought in terms of what her needs cost others in the whole of her life. She's never had to, been a pampered little princess since birth. But *we* know what it costs, physically and psychically.

>144 karenmarie: You know, Karen, this isn't what I think of as too much, but what I think of as too often...there's never a time when one isn't On Alert for trouble. It's been that way for quite some time. It's that fact that makes it hard on me. Bless you for relating to the probelms so caringly!

#150: You could move me to NY, but Kerry has to come along as well :)

>145 BekkaJo: Auntie's trip through the rehab facility was less successful that I'd hoped. She engaged few people and was more or less constantly confused...her hearing loss is severe now, and she's not able to sustain ordinary social interactions. It's very, very unlike her, since she was always a garrulous type.

>146 Eat_Read_Knit: Thanks, Caty...I'm lookin' hard!

>147 flissp: My hope, Fliss, is that it's the same old story...first day, worst day. Thanks!

>148 JanetinLondon: Oh no, don't crank my Victrola up, Janet! I am repulsed that anyone who has been through this nightmare could be against national health care!!! And I am appalled at the knowledge that there are lots of people in Auntie's situation, childless elders, who somehow have to navigate this by themselves...I don't know how they can do it, and it hurts me horribly to imagine their terror and helplessness.

>149 Ape: May it never happen to you, Stephen. Ever!

>152 alcottacre: Hmmm...hmmm....

;-P

rd... I am concerned about meds.. she may be getting more of... pretty much everything than she needs. My grandmother was on a load of meds at one time, confused and unable to walk ( severe RA)

Finally one dr too her off of several meds and reduced others. She found the pain manageable and was more of herself. Older people, slow metabolisms .. need less in the way of meds. Doctors often fail to see, or think about this. Even a tiny bit of help will be good..

141 is right.. respite is available. Try the agency on aging or whatever it is called there...

avail yourself

Hugs to you, Richard. I know how hard it is because I took care of my mother at home until she died. There are programs that provide in home daily care that you might be able to take advantage of. That would help relieve you of some physical work and in some instances the government will provide you money as a caretaker. All this doesn't help with the worrying though. Hang in there and remember to do what is best for both of you.

I think you're a hero for the day-to-day, Richard.

aww, Richard :(

All the work you must endure makes me sad. The fact that your such a good person to do it makes me smile.

*ahem*

I just wanted to say that Richard is the kindest and most generous person ever who is completely full of awesomeness and amazingment, and who deserves some kind of medal for being the coolest person on the planet. That's all. :)

(Note: You will have noticed some odd words like "awesomeness" in this post. This is an attempt to appeal to a wide demographic. If a 15 year old boy reads this, he needs to understand how great Richard is and "full of awesomeness" will best convey the intended message to this particular age group.)

Though, I'm sure all of you already knew that. :)

I may just have to copy and paste that message at the beginning of all your threads. Y'know, to remind everyone. ;)

Oh, Richard, I'm sorry. The workload in and of itself is a drag; then there is the beaten-down, supressed, denied-as-unworthy anger at it all...I know. I've been there. Do, please, as others have said, take advantage of respite care...and perhaps a housekeeper once or twice per week, even if she/he just ran her personal errands and sat with her for awhile while you and the Divine Miss had some time off right there in the house, can be such a relief.

As for the worry...well, you can't help it too much, really, being a caring person. The only thing that helps me now as hubby very very slowly but surely declines is that I've seen it before, within my own house, Grandfather, Father---both of whom had agonizingly slow downturns, and then Mother who held up really well until the very last year of her life, when she got on a quite fast slide. All you can do is your best to make her comfortable; the rest is just out of our hands. Much love and special thoughts heading your way. Your sense of humor will be your best ally now.

>155 mckait: We're all over it, Kath...but she's not getting most of the meds from before because I just flat refused to give some of the blood pressure stuff to a woman whose blood pressure is *low*! She's on the minimum doses of everything except Tylenol.

>156 Kirconnell: Many thanks, Velma, and those are good ideas. Sadly, though, I can't qualify for a stipend per their rules, since the care I provide isn't "skilled." *snort*

>157 London_StJ: Which is why I adore you, dear Luxx...you make me feel good for doing what I see as the right thing to do.

>158 ty1997: Your kind words mean a lot, Tom, and thank you for them...though I don't know that I've earned quite such high praise. But I'll take it!

>159 Ape: *smooch* Back at'cha, kid.

>160 Matke: Gail...exactly. Thank you for putting it so succinctly. I can only expect to socialize on the computer until auntie goes to her reward, because frankly this is not going to be that long-term a trip. As terrible as I feel for saying it, that's a relief.

Review: 45 of seventy-five

Title: THE WEED THAT STRINGS THE HANGMAN'S BAG

Author: ALAN BRADLEY

Rating: 3.9* of five

These are cute, cute, cute books! I don't buy it, a kid being this kind of smart, but I don't care. The plot's a little on the thin side, but I don't care. The fun of these books is the delightful fantasy of Eng-er-land post-WWII seen through the eyes of eleven-year-old Flavia, daughter of decayed privilege.

The murdered man, a puppeteer/drug dealer, *richly* deserved killing, which always makes a mystery more fun for me. His relict, of sorts, is of course a suspect, but her Delicate Condition (which Flavia suspects, and confirms by a chemical test that I'd never heard of before) ends up eliminating her...and shortly after she is in the clear, she buggers off somewhere...but I suspect that she'll be back.

The murderer, when identified, made me smile. I was so hoping the guilty party would be who it turned out to be, since I took an instant and complete aversion to that person. Not always a reliable indicator of guilt, but in this case...! Yippee!

So why read this? Because it's fun. Because it's frothy. Because it's summer, and because it's worth a few hours of your time to escape your ordinary world for the exciting world of Flavia de Luce.

doing what I see as the right thing to do.

That's exactly what makes you a hero.

I'm glad you enjoyed your fun summer read!

I should have known that you would be on top of that..
hang in rdear...

Richard

All these messages of support are merely a reflection of how very highly people think of you and love you. This is a wonderful, caring bunch of folk. You are now getting back a fraction of what you so lovingly give to us...to others.

I was the only caregiver for my grandmother. The rest of my family didn't "have time." I don't regret it because I had some wonderful, wonderful memories. Still, I was exhausted all the time.

More hugs coming at you.

Richard, I don't post on your thread very often, but want you to know that I think your situation is unbearably difficult. I hesitate to even use mere words here as there are none that can make it easier for you. I was in these bowels of hell for several years with my mother.

You have my empathy and caring thoughts. I only hope that you and your Divine Miss can make the most humane and tolerable decisions regarding Auntie.

I'm glad you were able to "escape your (contra)ordinary world" for a few hours with your last read.

I feel for you Richard - I had to do it twice, myself and in the case of my mother it was a horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE time. Somehow or other I am now unable to recall great chunks of those years. I trust that you will get through this and not let it get you down - too much.

>164 London_StJ: *smooch*

>165 mckait: I am such a suspicious mo-fo, Kath, that I look up the drug, the diagnosis, and the strength needed for each and every Rx that auntie gets. After a doctor overdosed her on a diabetes drug, causing three hospitalizations, I have figured that any decent physician would prefer to know twice than not at all if something is causing trouble. So far I haven't found my efforts rewarded with thanks, but they've learned to listen to me, like it or don't.

>166 Whisper1: Don't even get me started on absent family! I did this *by myself* for my own mother. One of my sisters is doing it by herself for our father (that was the deal). But there is another niece who's many thousands of convenient miles away. Hmmm. Life choices turn out well for *some* of us.

>167 Donna828: It's positively amazing to me, Donna, how many people share this issue! I am appalled at what that means about the USA...the number of useful work hours that are spent in uncompensated labor...think if there was a support plan in place for this kind of activity! What a huge boost to the economy! *grumble*

>168 Fourpawz2: 4P2, it's a form of amnesia that the brain gifts us with, causing horrible, stressful memories to recede into the dim distance. That way we humans don't kill ourselves at 50x the current rate!

Richard, I will keep you and your aunt in my prayers but you really need to get some help. Most people who get to your aunt's condition don't want to throw the towel in but you need to get her to accept the fact that she is way too much for you to care for before you are too totally exhausted to go on. I had a single aunt too who got to the same kind of point and we just had to say, "no can do any more." It's not humanly possible. Good luck. You're a good man.

I look up the drug, the diagnosis, and the strength needed for each and every Rx that auntie gets. After a doctor overdosed her on a diabetes drug, causing three hospitalizations, I have figured that any decent physician would prefer to know twice than not at all if something is causing trouble. So far I haven't found my efforts rewarded with thanks, but they've learned to listen to me, like it or don't.

I'm sad to say that a lot of physicians don't want to be bothered with questions from those who are taking care of their patients, something I've never understood.

Are you familiar with Epocrates (http://www.epocrates.com)? It's an online formulary that many physicians (including myself) use on our PDAs or smartphones to check medication dosing, cost of medications, etc. One of the most valuable features is the drug interaction checker; you can enter the names of some of all of the medications a patient is taking, to determine if one of them may adversely interact with another. Epocrates is a free program, and you don't have to be a physician to register for the site.

I'm also sorry to hear about your aunt's condition and the burdens and stresses that you're experiencing. Hang in there, brother.

Outstanding review of The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag. I enjoy suspending reality and entering the weird, but fun world of Flavia de Luce also. I should be reading this one soon.

link Darryl... thanks :P

Richard, with docs, it's not a popularity contest. You don't care if they like you or not; just that they know you are overseeing your aunt's care. Bottom line...

Empathy vibes headed your way... Make sure you find some way to get yourself respite care; I'm sure there are agencies that can help with this. And yes, I know exactly what you mean by doing the right thing because it's right. This may be highly out of fashion, but for those of us who happen to have morals, ethics, etc. etc....

smooches...

Regarding AUNTIE...I wish I had some wise words..my only experience of ElderCare was..the last two weeks of my Father's life..a different scenario than yours. Get as much outside help as you can...as far as "doing the right thing"...I think anything that YOU would do would be right!! It's hell figuring this s**t..and if I lived closer I"d help you out....my words read pretty lame so I'll shut up.

The Weed that Strings the Hangman's Bag...i have on Kindle...i know how you love books with "spunky" pre-pubescent girls (not)...so maybe check out Cruddy by Lynda Barry..a whole 'nother smoke..and one of my all-time favorites (i "love" smarty-pants little girls, too)

;-}

Richard there is nothing I can say about the Auntie situation that hasn't already been said. So many of us in this generation have gone through this (or will sooner rather than later). We are getting smarter about asking for help, and not letting the elders dump loads of guilt on us. Smaller families mean less room to share the load, and it is impossible to find the ideal situation unless you have bazillions of $$ to take all the caring off your shoulders. Big Hug, lots of love, and feel free to dump on us anytime.

Now about Miss Flavia. I couldn't stand the little brat when I read the first one, but based on your wise words, I'm willing to give this one a shot --sometime down the line.

>171 brenzi: Bonnie, things are looking up re: help...we have a morning home health aide, who's been with us for two years, and she's able to come seven days to do the setting-up of auntie's day! Hooray! And the evening helper *could* be in the offing soon. I am so hopeful. Won't know for sure until next week, what with the Fourth, but I am hopeful for the first time.

>172 kidzdoc: Isn't epocrates.com *amazing*?! I love it, and I use it with glee and rapture. Discovering it made my life so much easier, and I suspected that docs were using it but keeping mum about it. I wish her doc would use the thing. His NP does, and she's the one who told me about it. I love her for many reasons, not least of which is her openness to input, and she's the one and only reason I keep auntie in that practice.

>173 chinquapin: Chinquapin, if you haven't read The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, I'd recommend starting there. It's as much fun, and a few important life-facts about Flavia's family are introduced in greater and more fun detail in that book.

>174 mckait: *smooch*

>175 Chatterbox: It's so true, Suzanne, I am not worried about auntie's doc (or anyone else, for that matter) liking me...I find that it's easier to get my way if I am at least not snarly mean to the idiot (10cc of Lantus for a woman who weighs 140lb!!!), but it's a strain sometimes.

I ran into the baffling (to me) praise heaps when I left my career as a literary agent to go back to Texas and care for my mother in her last days. No one else was going to do it. It had to be done. So I did it. What's the shockeroo there? I genuinely don't see that it's unusual...or perhaps I'm just naive. In my little world, one does what's necessary because it's necessary to do it in order to be able to look in the mirror without having to avoid looking one's self in the eyes.

Does this make me unusual? Please say no....

>176 jdthloue: Jude my sweet, it's te willingness to help others that makes a person a good friend. Thanks for wanting to help, that in and of itself helps.

I loved "Ernie Pook's Comeek", Lynda Barry's long-ago weekly strip! I don't do well with graphic novels, as I lack patience for artwork messing up my story. I think it best that I leave the appreciation of the form to its better readers.

>177 tututhefirst: Oh Tina...DO NOT READ Flavia de Luce books! You are exactly the wrong temperament to appreciate them, in my observation. You'll see them as silly, mannered, cooked-up unfunny wastes of wood pulp. Leave them to the light-minded whimsy brigade. The Lumby Lines taught me a lot about the Tina humor style. What a delight that book was! The Divine Miss stole it before I got my second read in...I have to claw it back sometime soon.

Richard...

Cruddyis not a comic..it's a real book...i own a copy ( i know you are Graphic Novel averse)

be warned

later
J

Richard - apologies, I am so behind on the threads :(

Catching up with you now and pleased to hear that you are getting respite care sorted for your Auntie. Take time for yourself when you can and I wish you all the best for the future.

--->170 richardderus:: You are right, Richard: people so often say: "My GOD! How could you do it?!?"
My best friend, whose daughter was in NICU for her first six months, and I, whose husband had an acute abdominal anyeurism while we were on a "John and Gail Do Lewis and Clarke" vacation 2500 miles from home and 250 miles from the nearest trauma center, obviously share your philosophy. We used to answer, "You don't have a choice. You just do it. How could you not?" We didn't understand the question, honestly. But I'm not sure how common or usual that feeling is. The time for possible collapse, sorrow, and dithering is afterward. You're in my heart, Richard.

Oh, and thank you for the rec. for Orgy Planner Wanted, a terrific fun read. What a day-brighener!

Richard, I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt.

Is she eligible for hospice care at home? When my father was really sick, they were a godsend. I've never experienced better caregivers who were willing to look at the big picture rather than just a specific ailment at a time. They really were a wealth of knowledge and support.

My mother (who has moderate Alzheimer's disease) was also able to be on hospice for a time with a diagnosis of "failure to thrive". (Based on that, I should qualify!)

I wish you the best with all of this.

Another belated message of support, Richard, for all you are going through with caring for your aunt. I've not (yet) had to go through an equivalent experience so can only begin to imagine how tiring and frustrating it must be. I hope the additional help does materialise.

You are such a good caring soul, Richard. There's only so much you can do, but your aunt may need a higher level of care soon that you may not be able to give her. Has she broached the subject of perhaps moving into an assisted living or a nursing home? It's a hard decision to make, and if she's on a lot of meds, she may not be able to make that decision for herself.

Do try to take some time out for yourself, Rdear ... being someone's care-waiter can be overwhelmingly stressful and you have to make sure that you don't wear yourself down in the process. Wish I could do something to help ... if you think of anything, just give me a holler!

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

{and one more}

>181 jdthloue: But Jude! Its book page says it's an illustrated novel! What else is that but sneaky-tongue for "graphic novel"?

>182 calm: Hi calm! Thanks, it's all a process. Not a quick one.

>183 Matke: I know how much fun Orgy PLanner Wanted gave me, so I'm really glad it did the same for you, Gail!

>184 phebj: Pat, it's not that close to the end yet, so hospice won't kick in for a while. For some reason their standard is a terminal diagnosis, no allowance for anything like "failure to thrive", which auntie isn't. One day, possibly, but not today. I hold it in reserve.

>185 gennyt: Genny, I hope by the time the issue has personal relevance to you, things are better sorted out.

>186 cameling: Caro, it's really The Divine Miss who doesn't want to put her in a facility. She hates those places. So it's going to be a long, wearing time before she realizes that maybe it's best to use that option.

>187 ronincats: Awww, Roni, you know how to brighten a guy's day!

Maybe not so long rdear...
other changes in the wind, so who knows?

Have a nice cool day...

Hopefully you'll be able to reason with The Divine Miss soon and change the situation so that Auntie is in a place that's best for her. Edd's grandmother lived with his parents until she was 100 and then she fell and they couldn't give her the level of care that she needed after that, and she went to a lovely nursing home .... they fought it all the way (she was the one who wanted to go) but once she was in, they admitted that it really was for the best, since they weren't so tired all the time, had more time to themselves, could go on little trips, and still got to visit her at least twice or 3 times a week. His grandmother was also happy because the staff were delightful and caring, she got to sit outside in the garden with other residents when the weather was nice, since the staff were on hand to wheel her out and bring her in when she wanted to come in, and they got taken on short trips too in a bus. This was up in Glen Cove on LI .. maybe you can get TDM to go take a look .. just as a potential option?

I can barely write anything for sympathy -- I was the primary for my mother and I still lie in bed at night and at odd moments questioning the choices and decisions I was forced to make -- the horrendous hospitalizations, the indignities and humiliations she had to endure .... we have to 'do' something about the inhumanity before it is our turn. My heart goes out to you in a big way.

>190 mckait: From your mouth to God's ear, Kath!

>191 cameling: I suspect, Caro, that TDM will see reason one day soon. Glen Cove is a beautiful place! I think auntie will end up in the care facility in Freeport, though, because it's only 10min away.

>192 sibylline: Lucy, it's just a dreadful system, and it's due for a change. The issue remains, though, how to change something that's profitable the way it is. Greedy SOBs don't like it when you change their profit picture. Look what happened to Obama's health care bill.

I wonder what will happen to us in the next 30-40 years. This issue should be Front And Center for every boomer. We're headin' that way fast.

Just stopping in to say I'm thinking about you. It's rough, but we do what we have to do. Being the "spinster" of the family, I will be expected to do the same some day for my folks (although maybe not. I skipped today's family reunion because I just didn't want to go, and I suspect forgiveness will be a long time coming). Anyway, chin up and take care of yourself too!

I skipped today's family reunion because I just didn't want to go Good for you! Life's too short. Hang with the cool kids, they're more fun.

Glad to see you here!

Just checking in, Richard, and so sorry that life has suddenly become so much more difficult for you. You have my empathy and admiration for all you are doing for Auntie! I do hope that good help will line up quickly, and that a more stable solution will be forthcoming. (Sounds like she really does need to be in a full-care facility.)

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

I skipped today's family reunion because I just didn't want to go + Hang with the cool kids, they're more fun.

Amen!

Life is too short to spend time trying to please others all of the time.

#197: Life is too short to spend time trying to please others all of the time.

Especially since that is impossible to do anyway!

These messages regarding refusing to do what we don't want to do, resonate with me today.

I have a lovely friend whose dark side is control. She consistently tries to change plans. We were going to get together for light dinner tonight. She left a long rambling message on my phone that she was going to take me to Longwood Gardens today (about a five hour round trip on a heavily trafficed day) and told me what time to be ready.

I'm steaming a bit and will call her back shortly. She will still try to control even though I'll tell her I'm weary and my neck is hurting big time today.

I'm not going to Longwood Gardens.

---------------------

Richard, I hope you had chance to read yesterday and that Auntie didn't need too much of your time.

>196 tymfos: Thanks, Terri...I will.

>199 Whisper1: That's the sort of outrageous behavior that needs nay-saying. Stick to it!

I'm getting little reading done...I'm still working through Search the Dark and enjoying it. Few new things, though, for lack of time.

good job Linda!!!!

rdear, things will settle into a humdrum consistency soon.. and reading will ensue.

>201 mckait: *locates straight razor and opens veins*

Farewell, cruel humdrum world!

I know YOU are, but what am I?

What are you, Richard?

You are someone who has been handed a very diffcult task...emotional and physical. I don't have any platitudes to offer (just don't open your veins....will just make a hellish mess..you Need that Blood!) hopefully life will settle down and the Right decisions will be made...either voluntarily..or of necessity

*smooches and hugs*
Jude

It's the "of necessity" part that has me all stressed out. But life is, was, and will be outside my control. I guess I need reminding of that, huh?

Okay ... I was sad, but okay til that last post!

I really hope that was an attempt at humor.

Before I got to #202 I was going to say,

I dearly wish I could come help. I'm fine with muggy hot summers on LI. Really wish there were a way.

>207 suslyn: How very sweet, Suse, and goodness knows I'd let you! But it's a looong trip from Bucharest.

No, not oppening any veins today...or tomorrow...or really, any day, because I can't imagine *choosing* not to be here for the weird, bizarre, and unexpected future. I'm just too curious as to what's gonna happen next.

*whew* Thx for letting me know. I'm too frequently borderline suicidal to find those funny or let them pass. I woulda been on a flight or at least the phone post haste!!

I've never seriously entertained the idea of suicide. I've never been tempted to leave the party before my appointed time...and I'll probably argue about the appointment with a very tenacious irritation! "NO! I don't *wanna* go! Just one more century, c'mon, you don't need *me* to fill you quota...go get a Republican or something equally awful!"

I just thought of a funny story idea: "Death Turns Liberal" about a persuasive old New Deal/Great Society politician who argues Death into focusing on the sources of pain and misery in life--conservatives!

*ponders a future without conservatives*resolves to live forever*

LOL

sounds like a good book :)

>210 richardderus: It's taken me 1/2 hour to clean up the mess where I spewed my coffee across the laptop screen and my lap!!!

I just thought of a funny story idea: "Death Turns Liberal" about a persuasive old New Deal/Great Society politician who argues Death into focusing on the sources of pain and misery in life--conservatives!

I think it's my turn....marry me Richard....we are kindred souls!

>212 tututhefirst: See? Toldja. Shoulda nabbed me when I was available.

#210: Well, you and I would probably being killing each other if you had taken up my offer since I am definitely of the conservative bent, but I am glad to hear that your suicide mention above was not a serious one. Been there, done that and I am glad to hear you are not.

Sending lots of hugs your way, RD. Like Susan and the rest of the LTers, I wish I could be there for you.

I just thought of a funny story idea: "Death Turns Liberal" about a persuasive old New Deal/Great Society politician who argues Death into focusing on the sources of pain and misery in life--conservatives!

Yellow dog Democrat here - preaching to the choir. The older I get the more worthless I think the conservative (s)creed is. The problem is that they are dangerous sources of pain and misery in life.

>214 alcottacre: That's okay, Stasia, I love you anyway.

>215 karenmarie: There now, Karen, it's soothing to know that there are a *few* of us left in this incivil, shouting-match oriented, wrong-is-right and black-is-white conservative dominated discourse.

Folks...everyone...I can joke about suicide because it's simply not something I could/would/want to imagine doing. If you read somewhere sometime that I've committed suicide, badger the DA to open an investigation! Nefarious nastiness will have been done!

And Stasia says, "I wish I could be there for you"...but each and every one of you *are* here for me! Right here, where I come to get my daily dose of fun and support. It's a wonderful feeling to have this level of support and caring energy available to me whenever I log onto my computer. I thank you so very much for the outpouring of positive energy. It helps me every day.

Now see? I really *am* one of those disgusting upbeat people. The glass is always half-full.

That's so good to know :)

xox

I really *am* one of those disgusting upbeat people.
It's okay, Richard--we won't tell anyone!

Sympathizing with your situation - I helped my mother care for my grandparents for 7 years and it just about killed both of us. (My grandfather helped care for my grandmother and it actually DID kill him - she's still alive, now living in a nursing home.) Mom and I are still trying to get our health back to where it was before. Hang in there!!

On a different note, I thought of you when I read the blurb about the new Louise Penny book. It seems like the murder case against "a certain person" is not over yet...so there is hope! That is, if you can ever give Ms. Penny another chance. ;)

Hi Buddy

Just stopping by to send lots of love your way.

Review: 46 of seventy-five

Title: SEVEN CITIES OF GOLD

Author: DAVID MOLES

Rating: 4* of five

This is a novella of alternate history, starting from the Point of Departure (from our own timeline) in 714CE. The author posits that seven Christian bishops, fleeing the all-conquering armies of the Caliphate, took ship from Oporto, Portugal, and flung themselves over the edge of the world into the mouth of the Acuamagna, or as we call it, the Mississippi.

A millennium and a half of idiot sectarian/colonial warfare ensues. (People are, after all, people, and we do *so* love hating other people, then even killing them, based on which imaginary friend they talk to at night.) Our story begins with the Buddhist Japanese peacekeeping and humanitarian mission to Espirito Santo, the major port city at the mouth of the Acuamagna (New Orleans, in other words), which was devastated by a huge typhoon (Katrina, anyone?) then blown up by the Christians in the world's first atomic bomb blast to keep the city from falling into Muslim hands.

Our PoV character is a Japanese aid worker, tasked with saving the world from these weirdo monotheists (too late, dear) and their latest contribution to disharmony: A prophet called Clara Dos Orsos. The aid worker, addicted to opium, is sent far up the Acuamagna to find and treat--by force if necessary--the prophet for schizophrenia. This, reason the Japanese aid commanders, will end the monomania and psychosis that characterize monotheism's worst excesses.

Needless to say, the story isn't about a triumphal march up the Mighty Mississip' but rather the voyage into the Heart of Darkness. War's horrors, the evils of colonialism, the insanity of religion, none of them new themes. This time they're played out against a backdrop of American territory. But for some small zigs in place of zags, the current Congolese crisis could be played out in Louisiana...an instructive thought. We're not exceptional, Americans, we're exceptionally *lucky* and should be deeply, profoundly, and eternally grateful for our good fortune.

The story itself doesn't feel particulary well glued together. There are holes in the behaviors of some characters, and the charisma of the prophetess Clara Dos Orsos in particular is shortchanged. As it's a novella, though, I wasn't inclined to blame the book for that. Being a beautifully made object earns a title a lot of leeway...and PS Publishing makes beautiful books. I'd recommend the book to lovers of alternate history, and to the curious about the genre a warning: It's addictive, this fictional answering of the question "What if...?"

>218 tloeffler: *whew* I knew I could count on your discretion, Terri!

>219 BookAngel_a: Hi Angela, and welcome...I can't even imagine forgiving Louise Penny. I just can't. She's too horrid and cruel a person. *sniff* Poor Gabri.

>220 Whisper1: Hi Linda, thanks for dropping in! xoxo

#221 - yikes...there's too much there for my brain to digest in this weather...doesn't look like it will be on the TBR pile anytime soon. I have lots of others to use for brain games.

rdear, books sent.. should be there friday?? maybe?

Alternate History doesn't work for me now....neither does History in RealTime...

Thumbed your review (daintily, as always)

J

I'm usually wary of alternate history, mostly because my knowledge of actual history is usually a little spotty. I always feel it's necessary to know a lot about the time period to truly enjoy a good historical fiction, and I'm never confident enough in myself to just dive into a random alternate history book. Still, that "what if?" question is always a nagging one and it can be a lot of fun to see how authors can imagine what would have happened if certain things might have turned out a little differently.

Oh, and, good review Richard, of course! :)

Sounds interesting, I like a good bit of alternate history. It's now on the list.

Will you please stop reading good books, I'll never be able to find them all!

Note to self - Must learn to ignore pretty blue words on Richard's thread;-)

>224 mckait: Coolio, Miss Lady. I'll let you know when they arrive.

>225 jdthloue: And a daintier thank'ee for you, dear Jude.

>226 Ape: So start with The Guns of the South. It's a perfect gateway drug, being about the Civil War and every Murrikin knows how that turned out.

Please...just to reassure me...tell me you know how it turned out?

>227 calm: HA! Calm, I gotcha! But it's a UK publisher, so it won't be hard to come by there in teensy little England, will it? I had to have it shipped to me from there.

Grrrr...... dilemma ... should I add this or should I just give it the cold shoulder? (pondering going on here, do not answer, Ricardo) .... a good review and I like alternate history, but I think I'm going to pass on this because the fact that there are holes in the characters and flappy storylines from the lack of glue I think outweigh the interesting bits about the history.
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then again, i'll bookmark this just in case i change my mind. ;-)

>229 cameling: *snort* Like you could ever resist a gorgeous case-bound book, four-color art on the cover that's positively scrumptiously moody and atmospheric, with somber-yet-luxurious purple endsheets. G'wan, try. And don't forget...the story is about a world in which one of the major centers of power is Singapore....

Did i forget to mention that you are evil incarnate sometimes, Ricardo?

Moi?

*batbatbat*

you know those pointy little things on top of your head .......

Did i forget to mention that you are evil incarnate sometimes

I agree, but somehow irresistible... must be his crusty yet oddly upbeat demeanor?

>226 Ape: So start with The Guns of the South. It's a perfect gateway drug, being about the Civil War and every Murrikin knows how that turned out.

Please...just to reassure me...tell me you know how it turned out?

Isn't that the one where we dropped the big bomb on Japan and the radiation mutated some random lizard to massive proportions to wreak havoc on various oddly-fake-looking japanese cities? Or was that a different war...hmmm...

;)

I've read some alternate history, but not very much. My library has lots of Harry Turtledove, maybe I need to investigate? I started the World at War series but...I wasn't that into it.

#221: Adding that one to the BlackHole - not that it needs any more additions!

>234 mckait: Awww. I'm iwwesistabuuul!

Auntie has, through means I cannot begin to fathom, reprogrammed her cable box. It's daid. Cable will come tomorrow and help us. I hope.

>235 Ape: The World at War series...is that the one with the space aliens in WWII? Blech. How Few Remain is a decent start.

>236 alcottacre: Oh oh, Stasia, it's gonna be a tough sell at the liberry because it's a $30 purchase. From Eng-er-land. *shivers*

has she changed the input channel.. ( or whatever you call it )
where it has to be on ch 2 or 3 for the box to work?) Dan did that recently...

good luck with it anyway..

I am outta here for the night.. need some reading time..
potboiler inspired by ( oddly) yerveryownself~

and another hot review for you! congrats!

#237: Nope, I will not be getting my hands on it any time soon. *sigh*

237: No, no aliens in the World at War series. It was a parallel re-telling of WWII, in a fantasy setting. All the technology that was present in WWII was translated in the most interesting ways. Instead of machine guns there were "magic sticks" that shoot bolts of power. Instead of bombers, there were dragons dropping explosive eggs. Tanks were replaced with giant behemoths with giant, mounted "sticks," and submarines were represented by giant leviathans. The fantasy-equivalent of 'Hitler' was just starting to make massive blood-sacrifices of the "blond people" to power giant magical attacks or something. It was actually a fun and interesting idea...it was just terribly written. Hundreds of characters to keep track of and few of them interesting. :(

Re: post 221 above...it's been flagged on the Hot Reviews section as "Not a review"! ROFL

I think someone didn't like my characterizations of sectarian violence.

twernt me
I love your characterizations of sectarian violence.

We disagree .... it's a review and a Hot one at that!

How can that not be a review? Some people!

Sheesh, Richard, don't you know how to write a proper review! :P

It's ok, I got my first flag recently for my review of Lab 257...I guess people don't like reviews with the tiniest touch of negative opinion!

>245 alcottacre: Because I was mean. That makes it not a review.

>246 Ape: I don't recall what you said in that review, but if you dissed "Twilight" or Jesus, you're gonna get a flag.

That just ticks me off......... I post reviews on Amazon.. and it is a big problem there..
people neg you for reasons that have nothing to do with the review. I don't actually care..because imo a review is just that, my opinion of the book and nothing more. I am not trying to be a top reviewer or gain any sort of silly recognition.. ( I am just opinionated) . I does infuriate me though when others react that way if they do not agree with you .. GRRRRRRrrrr

Immaturity comes with the territory on the Internet. It's open season, so it's always going to be that way, because some adults never learn that theirs is not the only permissible opinion.

And it's royally annoying!

247: Nope, no Twilight or Jesus disses...unless the author is Jesus...

(or if he was bitten by a rabbid homeless guy and under the light of the full moon in the hour of twilight he transforms into a rabid blood frenzied Jesus-monster thing...)

Not a word! No, keep lips buttoned! I have already begun the ninth thread for reviews forty-seven forward.

(or if he was bitten by a rabbid homeless guy and under the light of the full moon in the hour of twilight he transforms into a rabid blood frenzied Jesus-monster thing...)

OOO! I smell best-seller! Get to writin'!

Well - it is definitely a review and I've counter flagged.

>252 calm: Thanks, calm...it's just amazing that this occurs!

Sorry to hear about your difficult situation as a carer. Even with the NHS and some publicly funded social services here, this is still a situation which also faces many people in Britain, including a scary number of children who act as carers.

Laughing at your comments on conservatives, though I'm no liberal - I'm proud to be what has been called "a red diaper baby

I think it's quite impressive to get such a strong objection to your review, and it is a review.

>254 elkiedee: I can't help but think, Luci, that the idea whizzing through the heads of the powerful as they decide what to spend *our own money* on, is simply "Well, families need to care for their own like they always have"--hell with the personal costs, it's just *women* who usually do this work.

Some things don't change. Until we force them to.

Thank you, Richard. My brother's partner tenderly and faithfully cares for him, in almost incredible circumstances---massive stroke having left him with movement in head, neck, right hand only. I've never seen anything quite as moving as watching them together. What a man he is! As are you.

And ya know, getting back to books and reviews, I'm not too sure what the purpose of the "flag" is within the review system. Surely anyone should be able to post any opinion about any book, without fear of censorship. Well, all right, the endless repetition of "this book is shit becasue this book sucks because the author is full of shit"...yeah, a flag there. But an hponest opinion? NO way!

>256 Matke: Well, Gail, it's always hard to do this work. Many years ago, I was an AIDS care volunteer, and I saw how many people buckle under the strain of caregiving...as do I occasionally...and I came to feel that the simple act of giving human kindness to someone not long for this world is an actual calling, on a par with more formal religious callings.

As for that flag, well, when I gore their precious ox, many of the religious respond with self-righteous huffing and puffing. I'd trust their enlightenment more if they simply laughed at me.

#257:

#257 I agree. Some have a hard time seeing beyond, to the person inside the illness. One who can't do that, can't be a true caregiver, in the fullest sense of the word.

Very wise comments re caregiving, Richard...

Stasia, would LOVE to know what that panda is saying as he keels over laughing!!

#260: It is probably saying something along the lines of 'Richard is so funny!'