Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Received this book from Early Reviewers and read the introduction, wasn't moved enough to read further, and just picked it back up over the weekend. After reading into the first two chapters I wondered aloud to my husband why I didn't devour the book when I first picked it up. Read the entire book so quickly the second time around!
Since Brown refers to her TED talk in the book, I was excited to watch it (fan of TEDTalks) but wanted to read her book first.
I am - I think - one of the kinds of readers that she refers to in the book that is skeptical that a topic on vulnerability or shame is worth reading an entire book about. Consider me reformed. She makes a strong case for considering vulnerability. One lightbulb went off when she show more explained how so many of us cite joyful moments as vulnerable ones. She has other helpful insights that I'm planning to use in unexpected ways. I'll be using some of the early chapters in her book in my university classes on peer mentoring.
I think I would have been uncomfortable with the book if it read too much like a self-help book. It doesn't. It is helpful, I have dog-eared tons of pages, but there is intriguing and substantive research to inform her writing.
The thing that I like the best is that she shares her vulnerability in her writing and she writes like a real person... helps that she seems so smart too. show less

By and large, I'm pretty averse to self-help books. I can't stand the didactic tone, and I rarely trust any "analysis" contained within. I didn't have either problem with Brown's book. While she did back up her analysis with (what seems to my untrained eye to be) solid sociological research, that wasn't really where my trust found root. It probably grew more from the lack of that aforementioned tone. She seems to be simply presenting a viewpoint which she expects to stand on its own, with little attachment to whether it will be adopted by the reader. There's something refreshing in her authenticity and casualness. And the analysis itself turned out to be pretty interesting. It's not really full of groundbreaking new information/advice, show more but it's still a paradigm shifter. Most of what Brown has to say derives directly from a point at which she arrived after gradual--even reluctant--research: namely, that vulnerability is the key to living a fulfilling life. Beginning from that point leads to some interesting conclusions, and provides a fresh new way to see many aspects of contemporary life. show less

This is the second Brené Brown book I’ve read. I picked up Rising Strong a couple of years ago, and while I liked parts of it, I remember feeling a little underwhelmed overall (it landed at a solid three stars for me). This one, though, hit all the right notes.

What stood out the most was how Brené framed vulnerability — not just as a personal thing, but as something that threads through every part of how we work, live, parent, and create. I found myself nodding along constantly, highlighter in hand. As a painter and writer, this book hit close to home. I tend to hold back when it comes to sharing my work because I worry about how it’ll be received, what people will think, and what it’ll mean about me if it’s not universally show more adored. Reading Daring Greatly made me realize that being vulnerable isn’t optional when it comes to creative work. It’s absolutely mandatory. (It was one of those "Thanks, I hate it," moments.)

One section that especially stuck with me was Brené’s breakdown of how men and women approach vulnerability and shame differently. It wasn’t something I’d ever thought about in a structured way before, but once I read it, it felt obvious. It even sparked some really good conversations between me and my husband when we were driving around one day, which made it even more meaningful.

I loved Brené’s personal anecdotes throughout the book. Some of them were definitely on the cringey side, but I actually appreciated that. It made her feel more real, and it gave the book a grounded, human quality that matched the topic well. I also appreciated that she was open about her own ongoing struggles with vulnerability instead of trying to position herself as someone who had it all figured out.

I do really like Brené’s writing style. It's empathetic without being preachy, honest without being over-dramatic, and encouraging without being over-the-top.

All in all, Daring Greatly reminded me that the only way we're going to get to where we want to be in life is by daring to show up, flaws and all, as much as possible, as openly as possible. And yeah, it's damn hard. And maybe that's the whole point. show less

This is a beautiful book that shines a light on the deepest blindspot in me. I recently struggled to grapple with the alien concept of self-love and self-compassion. It's quite a new idea for me. When someone talks about leading with vulnerability, it always gave a 404 error in me.

Brene Brown is a leading researcher on shame and vulnerability, and this book is an eye-opener for me into a new world. The concept of shame and the critical voice in my head was like water for a fish, which, as David Foster Wallace says, was invisible to me. Brene brings the rigor of qualitative and quantitative approaches to this problem. She writes about this voice, the damages done, and tools to manage it.

In my current quest for better mental health, this show more book has equipped me with some essential tools and vocabulary to think and work on. Highly, highly recommend this short, wonderfully researched, and very well produced book. show less

In Daring Greatly, Brene Brown borrows the words of Theodore Roosevelt to encourage us to find the courage to be vulnerable. Vulnerability, which she says encompasses uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, “sounds like truth and feel like courage”. The book takes a very common sense, practical approach. Findings from the author’s extensive research are presented, and this is done in a way that is engaging and didn’t feel like reading about research.

The author challenges several myths about vulnerability, including the idea that it is a weakness. She points out that daring greatly requires challenging shame and the gremlins it fills our heads with. She has come up with term “gremlin ninja warrior training” to describe how show more to build shame resilience; this includes recognizing shame, talking about how you feel, and reaching out for help.

She identifies varies strategies (e.g. perfectionism and numbing) that we use to shield ourselves from vulnerability, and ways that we can break down those shields that are holding us back. She believes that disengagement underlies many social problems, and this is influenced by the gap between our the values we practice and the values we aspire to. She offers “minding the gap” as a daring greatly strategy to combat this.

The section on rehumanizing education and work resonated particularly strongly with me, as I have experienced workplace bullying. A culture of shame in the workplace may be demonstrated through behaviours such as blaming, gossiping, favouritism, name-calling, and harassment. It can be even more overt when shame is used as a management tool through the use of “bullying, criticism in front of colleagues, public reprimands, or reward systems that intentionally belittle people.” This kind of shaming “crushes our tolerance for vulnerability, thereby killing engagement, innovation, creativity, productivity, and trust.”

There is also a chapter devoted to parenting. Parenting has been shown to be a key predictor in how susceptible children are to shame, and children need to experience compassion, connection, worthiness, and belonging, not fear, blame, shame, and judgment. None of the recommendations she makes are new and earthshattering, but they are all powerful and remind us to be aware of the messages we are conveying and behaviours we are modelling.

Society often tells us that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness. This book does an excellent job of challenging that and demonstrating how courageous and powerful being vulnerable really is. Mental illness in particular tends to make us fearful of being vulnerable, and this book offers some very good food for thought. show less

The strength of Daring Greatly by Brené Brown lies in understanding what it means to be intentionally vulnerable. Most of us see vulnerability as a negative quality, and indeed it can be as we learn from examples on shame throughout the book, but Brown argues for a healthy and necessary alternative, one I would describe as optimistic vulnerability. None of us go it alone, she argues, and it is because of our interdependency that real courage will always be needed, in work, in life, anything.

The chapters on education, work and parenting are noteworthy because her viewpoints, through the lens of the importance of vulnerability, are refreshingly less proactive than we're used to seeing. I believe her take on parenting is exceptionally show more insightful.

Being earnestly and healthily vulnerable depends on giving up a great deal of control, and that can be a frightening thing. The brave and daring among us are not without their moments of being afraid. And for those in the arena, fear is a constant companion. show less

Vulnerability is the root of all human connection and human connection is the root of all happiness. We often fail to connect because we are ashamed we are not good enough so we don't want to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. By allowing ourselves to be more vulnerable, we create a better life for ourselves.

That's the premise of Ms. Brown's book. While, I support this premise completely, and think she has done an outstanding job of researching and identifying this dynamic, it gets only two stars because there are two glaring problems with her work--or at least her presentation of it in this book.

First, if you, like me, completely buy into her deconstruction of the shame/vulnerability phenomenon, you/'re eager to hear a cogent and show more actionable plan or advice on exactly how to overcome this limitation. She runs out of steam when it comes to implementation. Her advice is vague, and as my daughter put it "clichéd" and "fluffy".

Second, far more importantly, I equate her solutions to the whole "trophy for showing up" phenomenon. There is a certain point where she says that success is not about achievement but about courage.

Does she really want to fly on a plane where the pilot is satisfied that they had the courage to make it through turbulence, or does she want them to also have lots and lots of competence and experience to not only make it through turbulence alive, but also to avoid it or make an easier ride? Same with a brain surgeon or a teacher.

Courage is an important starting point, but it isn't the only measure of success.

And finally, I wonder what people who are struggling with day to day existence--immigrants, people in poverty, people in war or domestic violence etc... would think of this approach. I just don't see a maid in a hotel who is being sexually harassed by her boss and worried about ICE breaking down her door and taking her family away embracing vulnerability as a solution to her problems. show less