How to Eat Like a Child

Don’t be thrown by the title. This book was written for adults. I first read this book in 1979, soon after it was published. Last week, Delia Ephron spoke in Cleveland about her writing and collaboration at a book festival. She was excellent. I decided to reread the book (and discovered I had two copies). I’m glad I did.
She nailed it. Anyone who has a child, knows a child, or was a child can relate to this very funny book. It begins with eating: “Peas: Mash and flatten into thin sheets on plate. Press the back of the fork into the peas. Hold fork vertically, prongs up, and lick off peas.”
“Animal crackers: Eat each in this order–legs, head, body.”
“Spinach: Divide into little piles. Rearrange into new piles. After show more five or six maneuvers, sit back and say you are full.”
HOW TO EAT LIKE A CHILD covers many other areas of life that children experience. “How to Hang Up the Telephone” begins with “Good bye.’
“Bye.”
“Are you still there?”
“Yeah. Why didn’t you hang up?”
And continues from there.
Among other areas, it meanders into school, playing, prank telephone calls, sibling rivalry, birthday parties, waiting, riding in a car, and “How to Act after Being Sent to Your Room.”
No matter how unique we feel each of us is, HOW TO EAT LIKE A CHILD shows us we have a great deal in common. By the time I finished reading, I was ready to investigate my house to see where the recorders were hidden.
The book can be read in less than two hours. The memories will last much longer. show less

While the first few pages on their own might be a little funny, this develops into one long description of children with major issues. Not funny. Not funny for the child, not funny for anyone around the child. Not funny at all.