Space Opera

Once upon a time on a small, watery, excitable planet called Earth, in a small, watery, excitable country called England (which was bound and determined never to get too excited about anything), a leggy, psychadelic ambidextrous omnisexual gendersplat glitterpunk financially punch-drunk ethnically ambitious glamrock messiah by the name of Danesh Jalo was born into a family so large and benignly neglectful that they only noticed he'd stopped coming home on weekends when his grandmother was nearly run over with all her groceries in front of the Piccadilly Square tube station, stunned into slack-jawed immobility by the sight of her Danesh, twenty feet high, in a frock the color of her customary afternoon sip of Pernod, filling up every show more centimeter of a gargantuan billboard.

There are a few things you should know before picking up this book:

1. Catherynne M. Valente (who can't even spell her name like a sensible Catherine) has a ridonkulous imagination. I would be happy to read a book just about the galactic history she invented. As it was, I ended up going back and taking notes to keep track of all the different species ("time-traveling red pandas," "human body, head = hippo chainsaw spiny puffer fish"), the various locations and winners of the Metagalactic Grand Prix, and Goguenar Gorecannon's Unkillable Facts*.

2. Ms. Valente's writing style is not for the faint-of-heart or the weak-of-concentration. (See the first sentence of Chapter 2 above for an example.) The first time I attempted to read this novel, I was not in the right state-of-mind and I found my eyes glazing over. But having read Ms. Valente's middle grades Fairyland series, which begins with [b: The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making|9591398|The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making (Fairyland, #1)|Catherynne M. Valente|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1388179691s/9591398.jpg|6749837], and enough reviews and quotes from this one, I knew it would be worth the effort. So I set it aside, read something else, and then came back to this one, and am very glad I did. (Also, there's quite a bit of profanity, sex -- both intra- and inter-species --, and some mild violence. Y'know, if you're bothered by that type of thing.)

3. While parallels have been drawn to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, it's not (in my opinion, having recently reread that entire series) derivative. It's in the same genre, sure, but if HG is the story of space over a few pints, this is the story of space on 'shrooms. This is not that.

My one criticism of this highly entertaining novel is that the actual plot is a bit slow. Ms. Valente set out to write the story of a galaxy-wide version of Eurovision, but that all plays second fiddle to her vivid descriptions of galactic life and history. Of the three earthlings that get the most page time (the two surviving members of the Absolute Zeroes: lead-singer Decibel Jones -- born Danesh Jalo -- and musician-extraordinaire Oort St. Ultraviolent -- otherwise known as Omar Caliskan--, and Omar/Oort's cat, Capo), I like the cat the most. They don't even arrive on the planet where the biggest musical contest in the galaxy, which will determine whether humans qualify as a sentient species (as opposed to "meat"), until over halfway through the book. And the history of the Absolute Zeroes was pretty bland compared to the history of the Sentient Wars, wormholes described as being like giant pandas that eat regret, and a sentient species of a zombie virus that speaks in puns through its host's mouth (or the closest thing to a mouth said host possesses).

Despite the fact that the point is pretty much beside the point, this is a fabulous read, a lava lamp of prose in every color, full of wry humor, and one that I will read again (with my notes).

*The first of these (at least the first sentence) is repeated throughout the book: Life is beautiful and life is stupid. You can only ever fix one of these at a time, and wouldn't it be nice if anyone could agree on which is the bigger problem? The other four of the (at least) twenty that are included in the book are profanity-laden and equally apt, summarized (in my notes) as: 2. Everything is used by something/someone else. 5. Justice takes too long. 6. Reality doesn't make sense. 20. No one is every really satisfied with what they have. show less

As soon as I heard about Catherynne Valente's latest book, Space Opera, I decided it wasn't for me. After all, I had never watched a single Eurovision performance and that's what this was billed as -- Eurovision in space. But then I started seeing the reviews that she was retweeting on Twitter and they said things about Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett and laughing and loving and, well, I gave in and grabbed the last copy at my local indie bookstore (which was a good thing since it's out of stock in many places and already on its sixth printing!). Then I started hearing even more amazing things about the audiobook, read by Valente's partner, actor Heath Miller, and so I promptly put in a hold for that at the library. I ended up doing show more the entire thing on audio but am glad I have the hardcover to put on my shelf because this is a book that I'm definitely going to want to revisit, perhaps quite soon.

So, this story *is* kind of Eurovision in space but, then again, it's so much more, enough that it can be enjoyable for many different sorts of readers. It's definitely a commentary on current U.S. politics. It's also a celebration of diversity. And it's, most of all, a plea for all humans to improve our behavior and to prove our claim to sentience. Liberally peppered with angst and profanity, Valente's frustration with the current state of the world certainly came through and mirrored my own. What she has managed to do that I haven't though is to create a possible solution. Now, the chances of that solution--a performance by the earth's greatest living pop group at an intergalactic competition to try and prevent the human race from being destroyed--being in our future is probably quite slim but I appreciate her creativity. The real solution is probably going to be much more painful and require an effort from more than two people. In the meantime, we are only going to be kept sane by bonding together over things like smart and entertaining art. For now, I suggest we bond over this book.

https://webereading.com/2018/06/new-release-space-opera.html show less

The frenetic pace of this book began on page one and was so unrelenting it became almost wearisome, like an amphetamine-fueled joke that just goes on and on. Here’s a taste:

Give them the soggiest cast-off thigh-high stocking’s worth of a tune and the most obnoxiously Campari-drunk open-mic-night-reject half-sucked raspberry lolly of a lyric, and in one night, Dess and Mira and Oort would turn around a glamgrind anthem perfectly crystallizing the despair of the young enslaved by the London real estate market crossbred with the desperate futuro-cosmic hope of murdering a Martian catwalk in a satin slip while guzzling a rubbish bin full of cheap ruby port, as sung by the comet-pummeled ghost of Oscar Wilde snorting stars like meth.

But show more … BUT … it had such heart, and I became so enamored of the protagonist Decibel Jones, that I ended up loving it. It was full of pithy, quotable lines that really need context to be fully appreciated. It was full of glamrock and zaniness with the occasional pointed shard of tragedy tinged with Brexit and neofascism. If you can enjoy the dopey pun of the title and if you might enjoy a little SFnal Eurovision fanfic, this is the book for you. show less

Space Opera, as anyone who has even heard of it can tell you, is Eurovision in space. Of course, it’s also a grand homage to Hitchhiker’s Guide.

Aliens make first contact with Earth. They have just one teensy request: enter the galaxy-wide song contest. As long as you don’t come dead last, humanity will be deemed worthy of survival. Otherwise: (throat-slicey gesture).

Decibel Jones and Oort St Ultraviolet, last surviving members of the Absolute Zeros, must sing for their lives.

You know the old adage, ‘Show, don’t tell’? Otherwise known as ‘Thou shalt not info-dump’… This book seeks to take that nonsense and show it up for the lie it is.

It is approximately 90% disembodied narrator filling you, dear reader, in on show more everything that came before. It does so in the most campy, ridiculous, over-the-big-top fashion imaginable.

Expect sequins and unimaginable creatures and a history of galactic war, peace, and spectacle-making. show less

So... Combine David Bowie, with his glam rock style, Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe, Eurovision, and end of the world scenario, and you get this book. Its fun, its cheesy, and really, the more I think about it, I think this is a perfect way to prove sentience (but not with the world ending bit).

Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeroes has it all (except a best selling second album and a dead drummer) but they have been chosen as the best band that Earth can send (mostly because all the other choices are dead). Theres also a cat who was given the gift of speech. Also, the cat has the best line in the whole book regarding the sub-continent of India.

I'm not sure how the author manages to capture the seriousness of the situation, with the show more absurdity that is glamrock and Eurovision. I highly recommend this one because it shouldn't work, but it does, and manages to do it on many levels. show less

The population of Earth is shocked when one day an alien shows up in the living room of each person on the planet and informs them that in order to prove their sentience and worthiness of continuing to exist in the galaxy, they must send a band to compete in an intergalactic version of Eurovision. The aliens have scanned recent music history and come up with a list of candidates the only one of whom is still living is Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeroes, a decidedly has-been one-hit wonder band.

Combining the weirdness of Eurovision with a decidedly Douglas Adams-esque vibe, this science fiction tale is both deeply weird and pretty dang funny. It is decidedly not for everyone and Valente's intense prose in the first couple chapters show more will definitely weed out those for whom this book will not be enjoyable. But once you make it through those initial chapters the tale of Dess and Oort as they grapple with who they used to be and the insanely ridiculous task of singing to save the planet is a great time. show less

This book was a mind-expanding, chortle-making, thought-provoking, memory-stirring, joy-producing experience from beginning to end.


It's packed with wit, pyrotechnic sentences, infinite imagination, seasoned with potential genocide and diabolically devious competition and held together by compassion and empathy and a little hope. It's kept human and relevant by focuses on some broken-but-not-yet-destroyed musicians and all the magic that music works for us.


The title is ironic but you only know that after you've read the book - yeah, it's that kind of book - so confident of its own coolness it doesn't care if you only get it in retrospect because that's kinda cool too, you know? This isn't about space battles and complex hardware. Think show more Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett falling in love the Eurovision Song Contest and going "what if that was pan-galactic and the stakes were WAY higher?"


I can't believe that I've never read Catherynne Volente before. Where have I been all her life? I'm hooked now and I'll definitely be reading more. Her kind of talent is rare. He voice lifts me up to who I'd like to be, lets me forgive myself for not being him (yet) and tells me that I (and you) am not alone.


"Space Opera" was my first Buddy Read, a process that was great fun and prompted me to record my experience of the book as I read it. I've given my unedited Buddy Read posts This book was a mind-expanding, chortle-making, thought-provoking, memory-stirring, joy-producing experience from beginning to end.


It's packed with wit, pyrotechnic sentences, infinite imagination, seasoned with potential genocide and diabolically devious competition and held together by compassion and empathy and a little hope. It's kept human and relevant by focuses on some broken-but-not-yet-destroyed musicians and all the magic that music works for us.


The title is ironic but you only know that after you've read the book - yeah, it's that kind of book - so confident of its own coolness it doesn't care if you only get it in retrospect because that's kinda cool too, you know? This isn't about space battles and complex hardware. Think Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett falling in love the Eurovision Song Contest and going "what if that was pan-galactic and the stakes were WAY higher?"


I can't believe that I've never read Catherynne Volente before. Where have I been all her life? I'm hooked now and I'll definitely be reading more. Her kind of talent is rare. He voice lifts me up to who I'd like to be, lets me forgive myself for not being him (yet) and tells me that I (and you) am not alone.


"Space Opera" was my first Buddy Read, a process that was great fun and prompted me to record my experience of the book as I read it. I've given my unedited Buddy Read posts here:
https://mikefinnsfiction.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/space-opera-by-catherynne-m-va... show less