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How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual (2021)

by Rebecca Burgess

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13010210,984 (3.77)None
"Brave, witty and empowering, this graphic memoir follows Rebecca as she navigates her asexual identity and mental health in a world obsessed with sex. From school to work to relationships, this book offers an unparalleled insight into asexuality."--Provided by publisher.
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Rebecca Burgess writes about their experiences growing up uninterested in crushes and dating, and being in distress about being abnormal and broken due to society's messages. They find out about asexuality and write about their struggles getting others to accept and understand them, as well as dealing with anxiety and OCD. Society's pressure about dating and having sex as markers of adulthood are dwelled on a lot in this book. Burgess tries dating, but they hate the physical contact that is expected. You can't help but to root for Burgess as they come to understand and accept themself and find a relationship that works for them. I loved the Good Omens shout-out in this book; Burgess says they see their own asexual relationship reflected in Aziraphale's and Crowley's. I think the intended audience for this book is young adult and older, based on the mentions of sex. The drawing style is a very 'childish' style and makes the book seem younger than it is. The page where it depicts various ace approaches to sex actually has illustrations of couples engaging in these activities, and with the cutesy cartoony drawing style it kind of takes you aback. Overall, this was a valuable book and I'm glad I read it. This is also a book I wish I'd had in high school.

Read the full review, including trigger warnings and representation list, at https://fileundermichellaneous.blogspot.com/2023/10/ace-week-books.html ( )
  Mialro | Oct 31, 2023 |
This is a solid memoir, one which I related to a lot in my own asexual experiences. I appreciated the information breaks at the end of each chapter. I felt they didn’t interrupt the story too much, and they could be helpful for someone without knowledge of asexuality. I also really appreciated the parts about Burgess’s OCD and anxiety. A quick read with solid information and a great message of self acceptance and understanding. ( )
  psalva | Jul 10, 2023 |
What a way to feel validated. Rebecca Burgess covers topics that don't only pertain to identifying as asexual, but also her OCD, her anxiety, and other concerns she had/faced growing up, making this memoir relevant even if you aren't under the ace umbrella (which, if you are or are exploring your identify, I highly recommend this book). I've always struggled with figuring out how to tell my friends and family about my identity, and now honestly I feel like I can just give them this book to read to provide insight into how my mind and feelings work. ( )
  Adlanji | Jun 12, 2023 |
Delightful graphic memoir about growing up and being ace. Does a good job to describe how weird you feel when everyone and everything around you seems to be interested in sex, and you are not. ( )
  tornadox | Feb 14, 2023 |
Rebecca Burgess learns to cope with their asexuality surrounded by people who are either ignorant about or enraged by its existence or convinced they are one good lay away from a "cure." They also discuss their OCD, and while they don't explore any connection, I am curious about the frequency of any correlations that may occur between the two, how they might overlap in a Venn diagram say. The author bio on the back cover says they are autistic, but that seems to be only indirectly addressed in the narrative.

I found the anecdotes and information in the book to be interesting in an introductory sort of way. I was occasionally frustrated by the shortness of chapters as a topic seemed finished off without delving as deeply as I would have hoped. And while I liked the insights and info offered in the out-of-narrative chapter interstitials, I found their placement confusing or even spoiler-y. It might have been better to gather these factoids into their own chapter or an end matter section.

I'll certainly check out anything Burgess might do next. I see they have some webcomics too that I might explore soon. ( )
  villemezbrown | Dec 7, 2021 |
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When I was in school, everyone got to a certain age where they became interested in talking about only one thing: boys, girls and sex. Me though? I was only interested in talking about comics.
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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"Brave, witty and empowering, this graphic memoir follows Rebecca as she navigates her asexual identity and mental health in a world obsessed with sex. From school to work to relationships, this book offers an unparalleled insight into asexuality."--Provided by publisher.

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Contents:
-- Chapter One. How to Pretend to Be Something You're Not
-- Chapter Two. How to Experiment
-- Chapter Three. How to Break Someone's Heart
-- Chapter Four. How to Be Okay With Being Alone Forever
-- Chapter Five. How to Fall in Love
-- Chapter Six. How to Be Ace
-- Resources
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