A Feast for Crows

Every writer, I’m sure, hits a rough patch, but few in my experience have collapsed so spectacularly as has George R. R. Martin in the fourth book of the Song of Ice and Fire series. Simply put, the book is no fun. Most of our favorite characters — Tyrion, Daenerys, Jon Snow, among others — are absent for the entire book. Instead, we get several chapters inside Cersei’s head as, for the first time unchecked in her power, she descends into paranoia and makes one utterly foolish decision after another; and we spend chapter after chapter after long chapter with the Vikings — excuse me, the Ironborn — whose only interesting character, Theon’s sister Asha, departs very quickly, leaving as the most sympathetic figure one show more Victarion, who is sad because he beat his pregnant wife to death. (She was with child by his brother. Whether she was actually unfaithful, or the victim of rape like 90% of Martin’s minor female characters, is never explained.) We are introduced to a potentially interesting storyline set in Dorne, but the characters are never fully drawn, and when the climax of that subplot arrives, it arrives 300 pages after the previous chapter in the same setting, leaving the reader to desperately wrack his brain for the details explaining why the main character is in trouble. (The Dorne storyline is one of several that could just as well have been explained in a few paragraphs.) But mostly we have chapter after chapter of the Vikings, I mean Ironborn, behaving like meaner Hell’s Angels, and several chapters of passive Sam Tarly on a boat, and many, many point-of-view chapters assigned not to major characters, but to minor characters, most not even introduced by name in the chapter heading: “The Prophet,” “The Captain of the Guards,” “The Soiled [sic] Knight,” “The Iron Captain,” “The Drowned Man,” and so on.

At times the writing descends to eighth-grade level. “Kettledrums began to beat as well, boom-boom-boom-boom-boom, boom-boom-boom-boom-boom. A warhorn bellowed, then another. AAAAAAoooooooooooooooooooooooo.” This is an exact quote; I counted the letters. Aieeeeeeeeee!

We are given a significant amount of Arya and Brienne, which is something. But terrible things happen to them both, and one reaches the end of the book not knowing in what condition we will find them next, if we do.

The book drags on. The previous books in the series built to a steadily exciting climax followed by an epilogue that hints at the story of the next book. This books simply stops, apparently at random. As you turn the page, hoping that the final chapter might contain some exciting surprise, you’re suddenly greeted with a chapter headed MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE WALL...; It’s George R. R. Martin, breaking the fourth wall and sheepishly addressing his readers. “‘Hey, wait a minute!’ some of you may be saying about now. ‘Wait a minute, wait a minute! Where’s Dany and the dragons? Where’s Tyrion? We hardly saw Jon Snow. That can’t be all of it....’ Well, no. There’s more to come. Another book as big as this one.” Well, that’s a relief! Martin explains that he did not forget to write about these characters. “I wrote lots about them. Pages and pages and pages. Chapters and more chapters.” Fortunately, the author drops the Dr. Seuss schtick after a couple of paragraphs and attempts to talk to us like adults. He explains that the book he was writing had become too big to publish in a single volume, but instead of simply splitting it in half, he “felt the readers would be better served by a book that told all the story for half the characters, rather than half the story for all the characters.” He was wrong.

Martin has given us half a story with half the characters. He’s written chapter after chapter of back story and intrigue involving characters who are either uninteresting or downright unpleasant to read about. The resulting mess has no structure and ends abruptly and unsatisfactorily, with a tacked-on apology rather than an epilogue. Having come this far, I’ll read the next book in the series; and until I have, I don’t know whether to recommend simply skipping this one. But I can definitely say that in a perfect world, I never would have read it. show less

In the time between my attempt to read this book and eventually giving up because the library was going to fine me for having it too long, I read an entire 13-book series completely unrelated to ASOIAF rather than continue (Steven Brust's "Vlad Taltos" books, try them, they're amazing).

There are a lot of problems with Martin's books. The sexism, the racism, the sexual assault, the misogyny, the male centricism, the supposedly historically accurate but actually not aspects versus the makes up for it by being fantasy and really sucking at that, the sheer BLOAT of the writing, the slut-shaming, the very, very, bad writing...

This book is often attacked by coincidence of being largely "about" the female characters because they get lots of show more perspective chapters. It's one of the more hated books in the series even among die-hard fans, from what I understand, probably because a lot of fans are probably sexists. I don't mind it being from Cersei, Brienne, Sansa, Arya's or Dani's perspectives. In fact I LOVE that idea. I care a lot more about the story's female characters than I do about Sam, Jamie, Bran, Davos or really most of the male cast. It's hard to find any of them who actually consider women to be people rather than things to screw, cry, or birth babies and frankly seeing a purportedly "epic fantasy" series (is it though?) from the perspective of some female fantasy stereotypes is far more creative than from some dudebros. But it's Martin. Who can't write women.

I should love Brienne. She's badass and smart and passionate. Except almost EVERY SINGLE page of her perspective involves her reminding us that she is THE UGLIEST THING IN THE WORLD. Forget whatever you thought was the UGLIEST THING and replace it with Brienne LEST YOU FORGET when Martin reminded you just a few paragraphs ago that she is the UGLIEST THING IN THE WORLD. Because of COURSE women only become warriors when they are so TERRIBLY UGLY that no one wants to marry them. That is the ONLY alternative for ugly women. Was it when Brienne was told by her supervising officer whom we're apparently supposed to respect that Brienne deserved to be raped to show her her place that served as the last straw? Was it when Martin convinced people that he could make the term "wench" one of endearment? Was it when Jaimie invaded Brienne's privacy and personal space and explained that she shouldn't care because HE doesn't care, insulting her on multiple levels (lest we forget that Brienne is the UGLIEST creature in existence), throwing the concept of consent under the bus and reminding us that this series is about male centricism and male entitlement and we do or don't do things BECAUSE OF DUDES. I'm all for some enemies to lovers and hatesex, but good grief I saw no reason for Brienne to ever give Jamie the time of day between all his patronizing shite, let alone fall in love with him.

But it was the pagely "I'm so ugly" things that really did it. I have self-image issues. A lot of them. But women have been able to get by since before and after the purported period of time Martin is supposed to be writing about without getting married and without men - not that it was easy, mind you, but they got by - and wanting to be with a guy who cares about you and finds you pretty isn't a sin, I hope you find someone who is WORTHY of you, dear. And we don't think we're so ugly 30 times an hour, let alone a day. If there were more female warriors in the Manliest Rapefestoros to give us a range of characters and diversity because women have been warriors for VARIOUS reasons throughout history then maybe Brienne's CONSTANT self-image issue reminder wouldn't be as completely stupid as it is. But this is Martin and he can't write women so of course there aren't.

And then there's Gilly. The wildling survivor and recently mother from the Incestception family, yet another of Martin's truly brilliant ideas. She's with Sam on his sea voyage with her new baby and guess what, it's not her baby! She left hers behind, to probably get executed. Think about this for a second. This poor woman who has grown up in an abusive household where she doubtless has no comprehension of sex ed, consent, love, friendship, education, human decency or really family, has no usable skills save maybe cooking and cleaning with little to do that with, and has one thing in this world she cares about that makes her happy, which she loses. She's lost her home, any semblance of a family she once had, the life she knew, has no hope for what could happen to her and no idea how to feed herself or her baby without aid and she's stuck on a boat for the first time in a STORM no less with SOMEONE ELSE'S child who's apparently a little monster, knowing her child will die and she can't stop it. Plus everyone she meets probably thinks she's the scum of the Rapefesteros because not only is she the product of incestception, but the father of her child is also probably her father, grandfather, great-grandfather, uncle, great-uncle, and so on. Yet she has the SHEER AUDACITY to CRY about it. Not blab to anyone. Not attack people. CRY. This young woman who has less blood on her hands than any cast member, whose greatest "crime" is leaving behind her own child to die because people she trusted, who knew she lacked education and ability to fight back, told her it was for the greater good.

And the one person she trusts. The one person who has been kind to her (Jon stole her baby, that's hardly a kindness), the one person who she is familiar with in this insane situation, who himself has dealt with various fears and terrors of his own for most of the series and knows what it is to be victimized and in the middle of a horrible situation, thinks she's annoying. And we, thus, find her annoying because Sam is a Good Character. He's this chapter's LOTR reference. He's going to be Great Things is Sam. Gilly should just GET OVER IT and move on, after all, it's for the best. How DARE she be so whiny?

Great job on that one, Martin.

Thinking about Cersei's storyline just gives me a headache. I still care about Sansa. I want good things for her. Her crime is being the same thing as fans of this series: a believer in dragons and princes(ses) and fairy tales and the hope that she could be in the middle of a story one day. Unfortunately her greater crime is being female and a teenage female at that, so unlike other audience stand-ins, she gets screwed in every sense of the term.

Asha's story is disappointing. I love the idea of her - a warrior woman raised to essentially be a bedslave who throws that in the faces of her peers and becomes one of the most badass people to ever badass. I like that her people, unlike the others of her peers, are actually loyal to her because she's fierce and badass and loyal and she's notably LOADS smarter and better as a leader than her pompous brother, but she's a woman so of course her life is shit and she is the only woman among her group to be a fighter and she'll probably get killed off or assaulted and married off to someone before this story ends.

And lastly, the length. The sheer BLOAT of these books. I've read and enjoyed longer books. But those authors made GOOD USE of their length. They packed it with character interactions and interesting politics and good descriptions and plot developments. Not the same repetitive sexual assault, misogyny, pseudo historical accuracy and lack of imagination fantasy. I hear the excuse that "well, he's being historically accurate". No, he's not. The time period he's referencing was not a wall-to-wall rapefest. Women have done everything under the sun and there have been female warriors in all of history. We didn't just spend our time birthing babies, cooking and sleeping between satisfying male partners. Healers, artists, archaeologists, scholars, landowners, nobles... Not just prostitutes and bethrotheds. And at the end of the day WHAT is imaginative about this story that would make it "fantasy" rather than simply fiction? The dragons who seldom if ever appear except as status symbols? The snow zombies who also seldom if ever appear without explanation? The animal possession that is seldom used but also bad? I just don't care. It's a waste of time. There's a point where you realize that when there isn't at least one reference to sexual assault PER PAGE that you're just waiting for it to happen and you wince whenever a man and a woman step into a scene together and you realize that no. Like Sophia McDougall said, I can usually cope with sexual assault, but not as wallpaper. This series is terrible. Goodbye and good riddance. show less

Wow. I am stunned at how much worse this book is than its predecessors. After the tremendous plot from the first three novels, the action here grinds to a halt. Worse than that, the storytelling technique is so different from before, so tedious. Most of the novel feels only like introspection, and much of the introspection is repetitive. I know that part of what I liked so well earlier in the series was the attention paid to each character, but that just doesn't work here. Earlier, we'd see great detail as characters would grow and change, but here, they are static, even stagnant. There isn't a character at the end of the novel who is substantially different from his/her portrayal at the start. In addition, Martin adds many new show more characters to the mix--new characters who don't seem to do much of anything. Sure, there are a few who shake things up, but most of the newcomers seem so trivial. They do little to impact the plot, nor do they provide a unique perspective. They are not a fresh voice; in fact, they don't even seem too different from the other characters or from each other Instead, they bog down the story and distract from the parts that are well-written. The introspection all seems to blur together, and many times, when returning to a character, Martin just repeats much of what the character was feeling in the last chapter. (In case I fell asleep, I guess, so I can know I didn't miss anything.)

The writing disappoints on many different levels. Unlike previous books, some of the chapters don't begin with a character's name. Instead, they have titles like "The Soiled Knight" or "The Princess in the Tower," which is confusing and gets old fast. There are many dangling threads, and there are so many cliffhangers and fakeouts that I want to scream. While the last book stopped characters' story arcs at a satisfying point, this book just throws characters into dangerous situations and leaves them there. Worse, so often the writing is so vague that I don't actually know what this imminent danger even is. (Some characters may have died! Or not! Or soon will, maybe! Do I even care, at this point?)

This book ends at under a thousand pages, which is more than a hundred less than book 3, but it feels three times as long. I am floored that someone could write a 900 page novel in which nothing happens. Ironically, there are some exciting events that, I'm sure, would deeply impact the characters who endure them, but these events happen offscreen, as it were. A character (say Sam, for example) will have a chapter of introspection, disappear for a hundred pages, and reappear for another chapter of vague speculations about the future or fond recollections of another character that we've already read about. By the way, a couple of exciting life-changing events have happened to him in the time between his chapters when we weren't following his story, but we will only learn about these things in passing, and the look into his thoughts will focus more on abstract themes than on any personal development.

The heart of the story still follows the same characters from the earlier novels, and half of those characters won't appear in this book at all. I know that Martin intends this book to cover the same time frame as book 5, which will leave these characters alone and tell the stories for the ones who are missing here. This leaves the reader with half a story, which is just exactly what it feels like. show less

Empezaré diciendo que la serie Canción de hielo y fuego, de George R.R. Martin, me tiene totalmente enganchado. Creo que mucha gente se ha sentido decepcionada con ‘Festín de cuervos’, el cuarto volumen de la saga. Según parece, Martin escribió y escribió, hasta que se dio cuenta de la cantidad de páginas que tenía para publicar, dándose cuenta que no tendría más remedio que dividir el manuscrito en dos libros. Así que en ‘Festín de cuervos’ nos encontramos con Cersei y Jaime Lannister, Brienne de Tarth, Arya y Sansa Stark, Samwell Tarly, algunos miembros de la familia Greyjoy y otros tantos de los Martell. En cuanto a Tyrion Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen o Jon Nieve, tendremos que esperar al siguiente libro, show more ‘Danza de dragones’.

Esta opción por parte de Martin es premeditada, ya que ha decidido centrarse en personajes quizás menos relevantes, en detrimento de los favoritos de los fans. De esta manera tenemos ocasión de saber más cosas de ciertos miembros que también son importantes para el juego de tronos, al mismo tiempo que se nos muestra qué sucede en las Islas del Hierro, en Dorne o en Braavos, más allá del Mar Angosto.

‘Festín de cuervos’ tiene un ritmo más tranquilo, es menos trepidante que su antecesora, 'Tormenta de espadas', pero sigue siendo igual de amena. Es como la calma tras la tempestad, donde parece que todo se desarrolla más pacíficamente, cuando es todo lo contrario, la tormenta está cogiendo fuerzas para volver con más ímpetu. La acción y la historia están perfectamente llevadas de la mano por Martin, que sigue haciendo gala de su maestría a la hora de ir añadiendo detalles de manera notable a este gran tapiz en el que se está convirtiendo su obra maestra.

En cuanto a la historia, como siempre contaré lo mínimo imprescindible. Tras las sucesivas guerras, los Siete Reinos están exhaustos, y los campos de batalla son un reclamo excelente para los cuervos. Bajo este panorama, las intrigas por el poder se suceden en Desembarco del Rey, con una Cersei que ejerce como reina regente hasta la mayoría de edad de su hijo Tommen. A Cersei, más trastornada y paranoica que nunca, solo le preocupa el bien de su hijo, que no caiga bajo la influencia de los Tyrell. Cersei es un personaje demasiado obvio para mi gusto, plano, predecible, vamos, la típica mala.

Mientras, su hermano Jaime sigue siendo un personaje atormentado: es el Matarreyes, su hermano Tyrion ha asesinado a su padre, la relación con su hermana Cersei se complica y su lucha por volver a ser lo que era tras la pérdida de su mano continúa. Sin lugar a dudas, Jaime es un protagonista que ha crecido como personaje. Resulta notable el talento de Martin para hacer que sintamos empatía por personajes a priori malos, que han llevado a cabo hechos atroces. Queda patente que en estas historias, en estos libros, no hay buenos o malos, o al menos no está tan claro.

Por su parte, Brienne, la Doncella de Tarth, quizás el personaje que más me ha gustado de la novela junto al de Jaime, sigue embarcada en la búsqueda de Sansa Stark, en su empeño por cumplir las promesas que hizo tanto a Jaime como a Catelyn Stark. Brienne es una joven con más honor y valor que la mayoría de los que se hacen llamar caballeros y que la desprecian abiertamente, a la que acompañaremos en su periplo por caminos embarrados, no exentos de peligros.

Mientras, Sansa Stark sigue oculta en el Nido de Águilas, haciéndose pasar por Alayne, la hija de Petyr Baelish, quizás el mejor jugador del juego de tronos. Su hermana, Arya Stark, va camino de Braavos y la misteriosa Casa de Blanco y Negro. Y a Samwell Tarly le ha sido encomendada la misión de llegar a Antigua, orden dada por el nuevo Comandante en el Muro, Jon Nieve. Y mientras, en las Islas del Hierro hay una lucha por hacerse con la vacante en el trono; así como en Dorne, donde se fragua otro tipo de intrigas palaciegas.

Puede parecer que ‘Festín de cuervos’ transcurra en un entorno algo ajeno a los libros anteriores. Habrá opiniones en contra o a favor. Personalmente, a mí la novela me ha entretenido y he encontrado una narración más comedida en cuanto a la acción, pero igual de buena literariamente; Martin es una mago de las palabras, y se nota en sus diálogos. Queda todo listo para el siguiente volumen. show less

Love this, actually. Lots of people don't, and it suffers for all sorts of reasons that aren't its' fault, poor widdle bookie wookie, but, though manifestly incomplete and dealing with the aftermath of the exhausting Storm, foregrounding minor characters, touring various parts of the world, dealing with political machinations in hitherto marginal settings, Feast is a perfectly satisfying read, and may find kinder judgement when its companion volume is finally available. And I'd better find out what happens to Brienne, or there'll be words.

← Part 4

I opened my eyes, which was odd given that I'd died at the end of the last chapter. But I suppose that's the kind of error that creeps in when you wait too long between writing reviews.

I was no longer in Waterstones. After all the horrors I'd witnessed there I wasn't sure I'd ever step foot in that place again. Especially since Blackwell's had both a two-for-one offer on all paperbacks and an apostrophe. I headed to the counter, laden down with the last three books available in the Song of Ice and Fire saga, and Bring Up the Bodies to make an even number. I had to queue for a moment behind a young man, and over his shoulder saw some commotion from outside, as someone who looked a lot like me had an incident crossing the road. show more But at that moment my turn to pay arrived. The man behind the counter looked vaguely familiar, and as I placed the books down he said “Hello, Lee.”

I felt my blood turn to ice and a chill crept down my spine, maybe because my blood was now ice. But it was probably the way the man had said those words. There was a terrible familiarity in his voice, the kind of familiarity that said we were about to have a really awkward moment as he remembered my name but I didn't have a clue who he was, never mind his name. I glanced nonchalantly at his name badge, but it just said “GRR.” Great, I thought, I don't remember his name and he's got anger management problems.

“You're probably wondering why you're here,” he said after a moment.

“No…” I ventured, suddenly wondering if I should be wondering why I was here. The answer seemed to surprise the man.

“I mean, you died at the end of the last chapter, right? I'd check my notes to make sure but lets be honest, pick your favourite character in Song of Ice and Fire and toss a coin, and while you're seeing if it's heads or tails I'll kill them off.”

“But I'm not a character in ASOIAF” I said. Except I didn't actually say “ASOIAF”, I said “A Song of Ice and Fire,” I was just typing that to save time.

The man shrugged. “You're writing your reviews of the books in the style of a bad parody of the saga. You reached the end, the only sensible development was for you to die.”

“Well this part isn't very parody-y, I'm just buying some books for Pete's sake!”

“Thanks!” said Pete.

“I'm afraid that's just some quantum mechanical interference feeding back through the trousers of time,” explained GRR. I indicated with my eyebrows that I didn't understand what he was going on about. “The saga was supposed to be a trilogy, right? Your reviews picked up on that and ended prematurely.”

“Tell me about it!” said my ex-girlfriend.

“I guess I'll just have to expand the story, like you did,” I said. “Why did you go from three books to seven anyway?”

“Have you heard of Lord Flashheart?” asked GRR.

I gave him a look that could peel a banana at ten paces. What's that? I've done that gag already? Oh, okay. Then I gave him a look that could, that could, oh sod it. I gave him a scathing look. “I'm British, of course I know who Lord Flashheart is.”

“Well then,” he said, “you know why he doesn't wear pants.”

“” I said. Before adding “Woof!” GRR simply smiled. “Okay fine, so my reviews need to slip back into parody for a while longer. How do we do that?”

“It's all a bit complicated and timey-wimey,” said GRR, “but basically we need to thrust you back into the saga's setting.”

“Okay, and how do we do that?” I asked. So he stabbed me in the face.

Part 6 → show less

← Part 4

I opened my eyes, which was odd given that I'd died at the end of the last chapter. But I suppose that's the kind of error that creeps in when you wait too long between writing reviews.

I was no longer in Waterstones. After all the horrors I'd witnessed there I wasn't sure I'd ever step foot in that place again. Especially since Blackwell's had both a two-for-one offer on all paperbacks and an apostrophe. I headed to the counter, laden down with the last three books available in the Song of Ice and Fire saga, and Bring Up the Bodies to make an even number. I had to queue for a moment behind a young man, and over his shoulder saw some commotion from outside, as someone who looked a lot like me had an incident crossing the road. show more But at that moment my turn to pay arrived. The man behind the counter looked vaguely familiar, and as I placed the books down he said “Hello, Lee.”

I felt my blood turn to ice and a chill crept down my spine, maybe because my blood was now ice. But it was probably the way the man had said those words. There was a terrible familiarity in his voice, the kind of familiarity that said we were about to have a really awkward moment as he remembered my name but I didn't have a clue who he was, never mind his name. I glanced nonchalantly at his name badge, but it just said “GRR.” Great, I thought, I don't remember his name and he's got anger management problems.

“You're probably wondering why you're here,” he said after a moment.

“No…” I ventured, suddenly wondering if I should be wondering why I was here. The answer seemed to surprise the man.

“I mean, you died at the end of the last chapter, right? I'd check my notes to make sure but lets be honest, pick your favourite character in Song of Ice and Fire and toss a coin, and while you're seeing if it's heads or tails I'll kill them off.”

“But I'm not a character in ASOIAF” I said. Except I didn't actually say “ASOIAF”, I said “A Song of Ice and Fire,” I was just typing that to save time.

The man shrugged. “You're writing your reviews of the books in the style of a bad parody of the saga. You reached the end, the only sensible development was for you to die.”

“Well this part isn't very parody-y, I'm just buying some books for Pete's sake!”

“Thanks!” said Pete.

“I'm afraid that's just some quantum mechanical interference feeding back through the trousers of time,” explained GRR. I indicated with my eyebrows that I didn't understand what he was going on about. “The saga was supposed to be a trilogy, right? Your reviews picked up on that and ended prematurely.”

“Tell me about it!” said my ex-girlfriend.

“I guess I'll just have to expand the story, like you did,” I said. “Why did you go from three books to seven anyway?”

“Have you heard of Lord Flashheart?” asked GRR.

I gave him a look that could peel a banana at ten paces. What's that? I've done that gag already? Oh, okay. Then I gave him a look that could, that could, oh sod it. I gave him a scathing look. “I'm British, of course I know who Lord Flashheart is.”

“Well then,” he said, “you know why he doesn't wear pants.”

“” I said. Before adding “Woof!” GRR simply smiled. “Okay fine, so my reviews need to slip back into parody for a while longer. How do we do that?”

“It's all a bit complicated and timey-wimey,” said GRR, “but basically we need to thrust you back into the saga's setting.”

“Okay, and how do we do that?” I asked. So he stabbed me in the face.

Part 6 → show less