Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

This is absolutely the best book on open relationships or polyamory I've read (and I've read quite a few; check the "polyamory" tag in my catalog). Taormino is clearly did a good deal of research--her sources section alone is outstanding--and her writing style is at once friendly and intelligent, keeping you reading while presenting a wealth of information. I love how the book is structured. Each chapter is relatively short, covering a specific type of relationship structure or a certain issue. She offers bulleted lists of reasons a particular type of relationship might be right for you; covers the special perils to watch out for in each type of relationship, with helpful advice; and ends each chapter with a profile of a person, couple, show more or group whose experience illustrates the theme of the chapter. Taormino's writing shows sensitivity and an open perspective toward all types of nonmonogamy and toward those who choose monogamy for themselves, as well. This is the book that you should read if you are considering any form of nonmonogamy, and it is also the book you should give to anyone who needs help understanding your relationship choices. show less

An excellent, approachable guide to non-monogamy, incorporating a variety of models. Includes interviews with diverse individuals in open relationships, so the reader gets to hear about the joys and challenges of non-monogamy straight from those who are living the life.

Whenever I mention Opening Up to friends, they assume it's sleazy. It's not. This book is written in an entertaining and straightforward fashion, but it's not a "how to get a bunch of people into bed" book. It's about creating a sustainable style of open relationship through negotiation, transparency, and understanding.

Opening Up speaks across a broad spectrum. Whether you're into BDSM or you're an asexual romantic (or both), your needs are addressed in this book.

I show more recommend Opening Up highly to anyone. Even if you never have any intention of living non-monogamously, do read Opening Up. There's something in this book for everyone. show less

Despite being the first text I've read cover-to-cover on the subject of non-monogamy and polyamorous relationships, I nevertheless believe Opening Up to be one of the best. I have asked friends as well as professionals in the field for recommendations and of the texts I've attempted, Tristan's is the most compelling, fresh, relevant and broad without losing focus, while remaining true to her readership and staying wholly in the realm of light reading (well, light adult reading at any rate). I specifically enjoyed her examples of the Poly Mission Statement and the way she integrated her MANY pertinent diverse examples. Additionally, in the glossary to Opening Up, Tristan provides a decent overview of the participants and data gathered, show more without bogging the reader down with statistical analyses. All said, a highly enjoyable read, especially for a serious non-fictional subject. show less

If one is looking for a comprehensive textbook about polyamory, this is a good find. It cites all the polyamory classics, plus others, like Rosenberg's _Nonviolent Communication_, that were formative for my thinking about polyamory and open relationships. However, if you're looking for something more engaging, emotionally and intellectually challenging, or personally written, you should check out _The Ethical Slut_, _Radical Honesty_ and definitely _Nonviolent Communication_ (it's not about polyamory, but the process and principles of NVC are incredibly valuable for learning how to be clear in one's thinking and communication, essential skills for the polyamorous).

Taormino's writing style is dry and descriptive, often prescriptive. The show more chapters are well outlined and cover each relevant topic. show less

I found out about this book in a post by my friend Ian MacKenzie, "Love Will Be the Death of Us."

I've read a few other books on polyamory, but this one definitely feels the most useful. Taormino paints the picture that non-monogamy can be anything other than monogamy. The point is that it's outside of the box, for us do define. Through a multitude of case studies, the reader learns of numerous creative solutions people have come up with for organizing relationships in their lives. I think it could be useful even to the conservative reader, as it's important to realize the structures we [often subconsciously] consent to in our relationships.

I actually just came across a post that better summarizes the subject than I could, "The Coffee show more Break Primer on Polyamory" by Adam Powers.

Taormino wraps up the book by going in depth about safe sex, legal agreements, and child rearing. Although some readers might be tempted to skip over these more technical sections, they get into the details of how to really make a relationship work, of any sort.

I will say that I wasn't very into the writing style of this book. It felt dry and detached. I don't feel as though I got to connect with the author at all. But the information is of a quality and accessibility that I'm willing to overlook this. show less

My experience with this book differs so greatly from the other reviews that I wonder if I was sent the correct book. I wanted to like this book, I really did, even though I've never been able to finish one of Ms. Taormino's columns in the Village Voice.
The writing style was so simplistic as to render it boring, and altogether, the book read like a series of pamphlets sewn together into a book. Taormino focuses on the excrutiating, boring details of how exactly to have every kind of open relationship, while skimping on the actual interesting stories of the people she interviewed.
Most of the studies that she cites are old and the samples are almost all limited. There was also a shock when I found out that she cites Wikipedia. I know that show more this isn't a scholarly work, but I learned in seventh grade that an encyclopedia is not an acceptable source. And why pay $16.95 for something you can get for free? Just read the Wiki article on "Swinging."
If you're seriously interested in having an open relationship, my advice is to skip this book and read some of the more interesting-sounding ones that Taormino cites, such as "The Myth of Monogamy," "Beyond Monogamy," and anything by Raven Kaldera. show less

This book changed my life. I was interested in polyamory and this book not only gave me tips on how to make it work, it also gave me a term to describe my flavour of it - solo polyamory. This book is an excellent resource for anyone interested in learning about alternatives to monogamy. The second half of the book applies to all types of relationships. A must-read.