Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving & Thriving with the Self-Absorbed, Third Edition by Wendy T. Behary, LCSW is an interesting book. Behary approaches narcissism in a way that surprised me. The first surprise was to see her refer to narcissism as a kind of spectrum ranging from healthy to damaging narcissism. I had never considered the possibility of healthy narcissism. I had to stop at that point and really think about what she was saying before moving on. The examination of schemas and the encouragement to examine one's own schemas as well as those of the narcissist in one's life was interesting and at times a little uncomfortable, especially when it came to examining the other person's schemas. The techniques in Disarming the show more Narcissist often feel like, as Behary acknowledges more than once, they cater to the narcissist. It feels like many of the techniques described could work better for communication in general, but also I could see them backfiring, especially with narcissists. I have seen them backfire well before reading Disarming the Narcissist, but that's another story. Disarming the Narcissist offers insights into narcissism and techniques for dealing with the narcissist in easy to understand language, but it left me with more but different questions than I had when I started reading. show less

Oh yeah, this is good enough to try - it's plainly and clearly written.

It follows Jeffrey E Young's Reinventing Your Life very closely. In fact, it is basically an elaboration of the Entitlement Lifetrap chapter in that book, taking that further by providing more tools and guidance on how to cope/live with a narcissist.

I felt that it was providing self-help and offering hope - but I did chuckle quite a lot at how absurd it was to think that some of the stuff would work. And Behary is the first to say - I'm sure you think this is a load of codswallop but here's my reasoning and here's how to do it - so maybe you'll get some help out of this. I admire the determination to help if not the ideas...

There were many examples drawn from show more Behary's "patients" and these were excellent at making the points very clear. show less

All around good book - good content and good narrator. I really enjoyed this book and learned quite a bit about myself while reading. While I'm nowhere near some of the narcissists the author described, I recognized some of the ways I behave narcissistic-ally (is that a word?) in my relationships and with that knowledge I can try to be better. It also gave wonderfully concrete examples of how to talk with other people when you are hurt by thoughtless behavior - very helpful and easy to apply to other situations. I think that my own personal relationships will benefit by having read this book, even tho' it was written for one specific personality type. I recommend for everyone who wishes to work on communication... isn't that everyone? :)

Very well written. We all have at least one narcissist in our lives. This book tells you how to spot, understand and deal with them. Enjoyed the examples from real people's lives. The exercises were helpful too. Loved the quotes and easy to read style of this book. I am shareing this book with my friends and family.

Interesting insights, best for smaller troubles

Eh. Didn't really have the answers I was searching for, but still an interesting read.