Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir

So many memoirs like this one degenerate into a sickly sweet mess, as the author tries to make herself look like the Polly Purebred victim so that the reader can sigh and feel oh-so-sorry, and whee, nice catharsis for everyone. Yawn. But Erlbaum avoids all that. She doesn't spare herself her own critical eye, and I'm damned if I didn't come out liking her a lot for all her faults. She also avoids sensationalizing and exaggerating her own story -- the other common trap of adolescent memoirs -- so that this memoir rings very true. Even if you feel sort of tapped out on memoirs, I'd recommend picking this one up.

I’m reading more biographies & memoirs than I ever used to – and with each one – I feel more and more odd writing a review. What exactly am I reviewing? The author’s life or how s/he sees their life – or simply the writing style? It’s not like I can comment on the plot or the characters…they are what they are.

Which, of course, does not stop me from reading about people’s lives… I think I am at a point in my life where fact is becoming far more interesting (and yes, stranger) than fiction.

So then – to a truncated and rather unsure review: I spent most of the book yelling at Erlbaum in my head, because as the mother of a young girl, I didn’t want her to make the choices she was making. (This yelling was muffled by show more the fact that I’ve read Erlbaum’s follow up book, “Have You Found Her?” and know what comes next for the author.)

Then again, I certainly can’t blame her for her choices…she was in a terrible situation at home, and given the fighting and violence that surrounded her, who’s to say running away wasn’t the best thing she could have done.

There are parts, too, where I wanted to be standing next to her, agreeing with the craziness of the situation. At 15, Erlbaum was constantly being blamed by her mother and later, social workers, for not fixing situations that were clearly not of her own making.

When Erlbaum is told that her mother is pregnant with her abusive ex-boyfriend’s child, she listens in shock as her mother tells her, “The fact is that Dave and I are going to have a baby and we are going to try and be a family.” She sounded like she was speaking from notes. “Now we’ve talked about getting couples therapy, and that’s definitely something we’re going to think about. But for right now, I want you to pitch in a little more and help us all get along better.”

This coming from a mother who’s already worked out with her daughter when it’s OK to call the cops in the middle of a fight and when it’s not. Charming. Who’s the adult there?

Again and again, Erlbaum is forced to decide whether or not her mother can be trusted, if THIS TIME things will be different. Her thoughts at times like these are such a heart-rending mix of scared little girl and world-weary adult.

“I could not possibly be falling for this again. I was like Charlie Brown and the football. Like a duckling who could never be retrained, I would waddle straight off a cliff, following her. She threw away your clothes when you left home, it said on my index card. She told Poulos you were insane. She’s done this to you eight hundred times already.”

So I feel a great deal of empathy for her…but because I come from a different life than hers, I can’t get my mind around the HUGE amount of drugs she does. I just shake my head as the pot turns into cocaine, that turns into PCP, that turns into Ecstasy…. Again, I didn’t have the life she did, I didn’t grow up in New York, live in a shelter… I guess at the end of the day, I can just hang on for the ride, and be grateful it was her life and not mine…and be glad that I know she became a stronger person for living through what she did.

I guess the only other thing I can say is that I never really found out, in either of Janice Erlbaum’s books, what finally made her stronger. What made her give up the REALLY bad drugs and what finally made her stop smoking pot…and what gave her the strength to make better choices? I feel like I know where she came from and where she ended up (at least as of now)…but I’m missing something in the middle. I know the What and the How…but not the why.

But – who’s to say that’s any of my business. It’s not my life, after all… show less

I'm kind of glad that I read Janice Erlbaum's second memoir, Have You Found Her, first. It allowed me to read her first one and not have to worry too much that she got seriously hurt. Or went crazy, which is what I think I would have done in her circumstances. Instead, Erlbaum left home, and turned to drugs and sex as a teenager, and she relates her experiences with both with a candor that is unapologetic at the same time it is tinged with regret.

Erlbaum's problems at this time of her life seem to stem from a combination of poor parenting and poor decision-making. Unfortunately, neither the shelter nor the group home into which she is placed seem well-equipped to really help her with either of those problems. It almost seems as though show more by leaving home she's gone from the frying pan into the fire. It all catches up with her at the end, though, and at the close of this memoir we begin to see the more mature woman that we got to know in her second memoir. I hope she writes a third so that we can continue to share her story. show less

For the very first time since high school, I picked up a book and was so into it that I spent an entire week in my room reading it so I could finish it in two days. What it is about this particular book, I don't know. I'm the type who gets SO into the world of her book that she starts to feel much of what the narrator goes through, and I walked around feeling guilty and dirty because of her when I was taking reading breaks.. yet I kept reading.

If you look at my catalog, I have a thing for books about runaways, teenage drug abuse and the otherwise insane experiences of adolescents. I don't know why -- maybe because my own teen years were spent being a "good girl" on the outside and tortured within. Maybe I just want to understand why show more these people went through these things and how they were able to cope with them in full view of their parents, friends, peers and the rest of the world.

Either way, this book is raw and honest and it's different than other books on the subject. It both glorifies the life she had and yet makes the reader understand how absolutely shitty she had it. And the fact that Janice Earlbaum grew up to be a BUST Magazine columnist [very high up there on the list of my favorite mags] made it all the most interesting to me. Even if you don't tear through it in two days, I think it's a good read -- especially for people like me who are simply interested in the human psyche. Cheers, Ms. Girlbomb. :) show less

Janet Erlbaum left home rather than face possible physical abuse by her mother's lover. She lands in the frayed New York City child services safety net. Her first stop is a group home where she's preyed upon because she's one of the few white girls, and not nearly as streetwise as the other residents. Other way stations in the safety net are not quite as bad, but none really prove adequate to provide real safety for children like Janet. Erlbaum doesn't seem to have written this memoir to indict this system; it is rather how she managed to emerge from it wounded yet not wholly broken. My guess is that New York's children social services are better than most states and cities. Whether this is true or not, "Girlbomb" is yet another show more document that shows how this country fails in caring for at-risk children. show less

The description of Girlbomb is a memoir of Janice Erlbaum as a 15 year old who in the 1980′s left home and went to a shelter. The book is so much more than that. It reads like story and held me captive throughout the book, the author did a great job at capturing her life. Janice leaves home because her mom keeps taking back her abusive husband, Janice’s stepfather, and she’s had enough. She goes through hell at a shelter and group home, acknowledges her white privilege and how it benefits her in the situation, but it is still hard on her. That was all I was expecting from the book but it continued on past that, it goes into Janice’s need for attention and love, how she is an outcast within her group of friends and tries to feel show more a void with drugs and men. The detail written describing the scenes and how Janice felt is heartbreaking and uncomfortable at times. There are times when I felt annoyed with Janice for making stuff harder for herself but she is just trying to cope with her messed up life and it is clear she sees a pattern. Her mom was the same way and she is becoming what she hates. The book ended well, not making it seem like she learned her lesson and was turning over a new leaf, just that she realizes what she is doing and wants to change but it takes time and baby steps and will see what happens.

I would of liked if the author gave an update on her life instead of ending it where she did. The book was written in 2007 and the time described is in the 1980s so it’s not like she doesn’t know how she turned out, if she kept on the same path or managed to change. Oh well. Great book. show less

It is simply extraordinary that the author is able to write so dispassionately about her own life.
This is a revealing story about a young girl who made many dramatic choices, and so many of them poor and life altering.

In this coming of age memoir that reads like a novel, Erlbaum relates how she managed to survive in a city filled with temptations and pitfalls. She shares with you the wild ride that took her from her mothers home, through a girls shelter and group home. It is a breathtaking ride through several years filled with drugs, sex and a palpable aloneness.

This is can't put it down read from the author of Have You Found Her. This is actually the beginning of her story, well and simply, if shockingly told. highly recommend this show more book. Read it, and then read Have You Found Her. You will want to know what happened next.

I look forward to more remarkable stories in the years to come. I suspect that whatever or whoever her subject will be, that they will be revealed in a clear and penetratingly honest way. show less