The Gastronomy of Marriage: A Memoir of Food and Love
by Michelle Maisto
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“On our first date, Rich ordered a chocolate soufflé at the beginning of the meal, noting an asterisk on the menu warning diners of the wait involved. At the time, I imagined he did it partly to impress me, which it did, though today I know well that he’s simply the type of man who knows better than to turn down a hot-from-the-oven soufflé when one is offered to him.” When Michelle Maisto meets Rich–like her, a closet writer with a fierce love of books and good food–their show more single-mindedness at the table draws them together, and meals become a stage for their long courtship. Finally engaged, they move in together, but sitting down to shared meals each night–while working at careers, trying to write, and falling into the routines that come to define a home–soon feels like something far different from their first dinner together. Who cooks, who shops, who does the dishes? Rich craves the light fare his mother learned to prepare as a girl in China, but Michelle leans toward the hearty dishes her father knew as a boy in Italy. Rich eats meat, but Michelle doesn’t. His metabolism races through carbohydrates, hers holds to them tightly. And while her idea of a quick meal is a fried egg, his is to head to a restaurant. After Rich takes additional work to pay for their wedding, Michelle offers to do his half of the cooking chores–which, along with the newness of their living together, challenges her feelings about the kitchen and what it means to be a modern wife. As they save and plan for a wedding, the nightly compromises, small generosities, and stubborn stakings of ground that take place around the dinner table offer a context in which Maisto considers what she’s learned from the marriages around her, and what she and Rich might create for themselves. show lessTags
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Member Reviews
New York City freelance author Michelle expounds on her wedding plans, wedding fears, wedding exercise regime, & wedding clothes. What part of this preparation is her own (modern woman! no red meat!) and what is baggage from the past (Italian grandparents, her parent's divorce)?
And more importantly - what the hell are they going to eat for dinner? It cannot be too expensive (hello, they're saving for a wedding) and cannot be planned in advance - Michelle cringes - that would not take advantage of the wide variety of culianary possibilities, some delightful, which New York has on offer, constantly, like a courtesan spreading her wares. And besides - Rich needs to eat what he wants right then. Planning ahead? Quelle horreur!
Maisto show more describes herself as 'controlling'; Rich calls her a little dictator. It's no surprise that this book is carefully written, waxing poetic in controlled descriptions of aubergine and squid and the expression of water droplets on the underside of kale leaves.
And it's no surprise that all this artfulness leads exactly nowhere - no denounment, no plot, no form whatsoever, just a loose collection of ideas about love and marriage and fate and the combination of holiday plans and an exercise regime and a few recipes thrown in for the element of surprise.
Sloppy juxtaposition is no surprise at all nowadays; what would be a surprise, what I would like, is a finished work. Maisto says, in NYC, all your energy is expended just staying in one place. It must be comforting to live on a treadmill - you're never going to go anywhere, so you don't have to worry about what you do when you get there. show less
And more importantly - what the hell are they going to eat for dinner? It cannot be too expensive (hello, they're saving for a wedding) and cannot be planned in advance - Michelle cringes - that would not take advantage of the wide variety of culianary possibilities, some delightful, which New York has on offer, constantly, like a courtesan spreading her wares. And besides - Rich needs to eat what he wants right then. Planning ahead? Quelle horreur!
Maisto show more describes herself as 'controlling'; Rich calls her a little dictator. It's no surprise that this book is carefully written, waxing poetic in controlled descriptions of aubergine and squid and the expression of water droplets on the underside of kale leaves.
And it's no surprise that all this artfulness leads exactly nowhere - no denounment, no plot, no form whatsoever, just a loose collection of ideas about love and marriage and fate and the combination of holiday plans and an exercise regime and a few recipes thrown in for the element of surprise.
Sloppy juxtaposition is no surprise at all nowadays; what would be a surprise, what I would like, is a finished work. Maisto says, in NYC, all your energy is expended just staying in one place. It must be comforting to live on a treadmill - you're never going to go anywhere, so you don't have to worry about what you do when you get there. show less
Really enjoyed this book, the author takes something routine and derives meanings from it. The everyday task of figuring out what to have for dinner is complicated when an Italian-American lives with a Chinese-American, each person bringing his/her favorites and prejudices to the dinner table. Also provides a non-mushy look at relationships and family ties reflected through food, the universal connection.
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Food Memoirs
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- Nonfiction, Biography & Memoir, General Nonfiction, Food & Cooking
- DDC/MDS
- 394.12 — Society, government, & culture Customs, etiquette & folklore General customs Eating, drinking, using drugs Eating and drinking
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- GT2853 .U5 .M35 — Geography, Anthropology and Recreation Manners and customs (General) Manners and customs (General) Customs relative to private life
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