Gil's All Fright Diner
by A. Lee Martinez
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Bloodier thanFried Green Tomatoes! Funnier thanThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre! Welcome to Gil's All Night Diner, where zombie attacks are a regular occurrence and you never know what might be lurking in the freezer . . . Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a show more werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley. But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg. Seems someone's out to drive Loretta from the Diner, and more than willing to raise a little Hell on Earth if that's what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the Diner's troubles, they'll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig-latin. And maybe--just maybe--the End of the World, too. Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious,Gil's All Fright Diner will tickle your funnybone--before ripping it out of its socket! show lessTags
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wvlibrarydude Humor and horror visit with a little suspense.
LongDogMom Similar in style
Member Reviews
If you're looking for something light, fun, and more than a little weird to pass away a long car ride or two, listen to the audiobook version of "Gil's All Fright Diner" and join two good old boys, crossing the desert in a beat-up pick-up. Earl, the skinny, anxious, vocal one is a vampire. Duke the over-large taciturn guy is a werewolf. Nearly out of gas and in need of food, they stop at Gil's All Night Diner, only to find themselves involved in the local zombie problem.
After that, it starts to get weird.
A dark irreverence powers the humour in this book as it pokes a stick at the horror genre from the Dark God's of H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos through to Scott Stewart's "Legion". (except the book was 2005 and Legion was 2010 - but show more you know what I mean).
The cast of characters is broad but familiar, the canny sheriff, the robust, shotgun-toting woman running the Diner, the teen-nymphete with dangerous ambitions, and a cute ghost dog. If you're still not sure of the kind of book this is,then I have two words for you: Zombie Cows.
If you set this to music and added some dance numbers, you'd have another Rocky Horror Show on your hands.
What made this more than an extended sketch was the characters of Duke and Earl and the relationship between them. It was solid and believable, even taking into account their respective species.
Fred Berman did a fine job with the narration of this tale. The voices of all the characters fit but the voices of Duke and Earl are perfect. show less
After that, it starts to get weird.
A dark irreverence powers the humour in this book as it pokes a stick at the horror genre from the Dark God's of H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu mythos through to Scott Stewart's "Legion". (except the book was 2005 and Legion was 2010 - but show more you know what I mean).
The cast of characters is broad but familiar, the canny sheriff, the robust, shotgun-toting woman running the Diner, the teen-nymphete with dangerous ambitions, and a cute ghost dog. If you're still not sure of the kind of book this is,then I have two words for you: Zombie Cows.
If you set this to music and added some dance numbers, you'd have another Rocky Horror Show on your hands.
What made this more than an extended sketch was the characters of Duke and Earl and the relationship between them. It was solid and believable, even taking into account their respective species.
Fred Berman did a fine job with the narration of this tale. The voices of all the characters fit but the voices of Duke and Earl are perfect. show less
in a sentence or two: the funny journey of Earl the vampire, Duke the werewolf, Loretta the overweight waitress, and Cathy the ghost in their quest to rid the diner of zombies. and as if that isn't enough, a foxy teenager is trying to open the gates to hell right underneath their immortal noses.
Duke and Earl stumble upon the little diner in rockwood county (read: middle of nowhere). within minutes, they are defending the diner from zombies. the good news is, zombies aren't really that bad - just an undead nuisance really. the bad news for them (and good news for us) is, this is just the beginning of a bizarre and hilarious journey with the undead and other creepy creatures. ultimately, the foxy teenager - Tammy by day, Mistress Lilith show more when sorceress-ing - is trying to bring back the 'old gods' and suck the world as we know it into eternal darkness and suffering. it's up to the undead A-squad (and Loretta) to find out what's going on with the zombies, ghouls, ghosts, and even some zombie cows, so they can save the world. which is just as hard as it sounds.
i haven't read a humor novel in a long time, and so i wasn't quite sure what to expect. my fear is that they will try too hard to be funny and then lose the ability to weave a good story. well, Martinez put my fears to rest by the end of the first chapter. this book uses the supernatural elements with a tongue-in-cheek-ness that kept it light and funny while balancing the whole 'end of the world forever' aspect. there was also a good bit of sexual tension between the teenage witch and all the male characters, between the werewolf and the pleasantly plump waitress, and between the ghost and the vampire. who knew that was possible?
this was funny, wacky, unpredictable, clever, and i couldn't put it down. it won the Alex Award in 2006, and now that i've finished the hilarious journey through the book, i totally understand why. while not written explicitly for a teenage audience in mind, Martinez is able to cross genre barriers and has crafted a bizarrely awesome story that is well worth the read.
fave quotes: "Once, Make Out Barn had been a haven of teenage activity. Wholly living up to its name, the worn out building played host to regular sessions of heavy petting and awkward groping. There were even one or two acts of genuine sex on the premises, though not nearly as many as locker room boasts might lead one to believe. The barn was a place for certain people, namely those of surging hormones and acne-induced angst, preferably in groups of two, to get away from the endless hell that teenagers perceive their life to be until they grow up and realize that real hell generally strikes around middle age, when one discovers that life is either far too short or far too long." (105) my favorite phrases are bolded - seriously, awkward groping? awesome.
"Tammy raised her hands over her head and giggled the malign giggle of a schoolgirl consorting with the legions of darkness and having a hell of a time doing it." (109)
fix er up: not a thing. i loved the story, characters, and the ending. solid read! show less
Duke and Earl stumble upon the little diner in rockwood county (read: middle of nowhere). within minutes, they are defending the diner from zombies. the good news is, zombies aren't really that bad - just an undead nuisance really. the bad news for them (and good news for us) is, this is just the beginning of a bizarre and hilarious journey with the undead and other creepy creatures. ultimately, the foxy teenager - Tammy by day, Mistress Lilith show more when sorceress-ing - is trying to bring back the 'old gods' and suck the world as we know it into eternal darkness and suffering. it's up to the undead A-squad (and Loretta) to find out what's going on with the zombies, ghouls, ghosts, and even some zombie cows, so they can save the world. which is just as hard as it sounds.
i haven't read a humor novel in a long time, and so i wasn't quite sure what to expect. my fear is that they will try too hard to be funny and then lose the ability to weave a good story. well, Martinez put my fears to rest by the end of the first chapter. this book uses the supernatural elements with a tongue-in-cheek-ness that kept it light and funny while balancing the whole 'end of the world forever' aspect. there was also a good bit of sexual tension between the teenage witch and all the male characters, between the werewolf and the pleasantly plump waitress, and between the ghost and the vampire. who knew that was possible?
this was funny, wacky, unpredictable, clever, and i couldn't put it down. it won the Alex Award in 2006, and now that i've finished the hilarious journey through the book, i totally understand why. while not written explicitly for a teenage audience in mind, Martinez is able to cross genre barriers and has crafted a bizarrely awesome story that is well worth the read.
fave quotes: "Once, Make Out Barn had been a haven of teenage activity. Wholly living up to its name, the worn out building played host to regular sessions of heavy petting and awkward groping. There were even one or two acts of genuine sex on the premises, though not nearly as many as locker room boasts might lead one to believe. The barn was a place for certain people, namely those of surging hormones and acne-induced angst, preferably in groups of two, to get away from the endless hell that teenagers perceive their life to be until they grow up and realize that real hell generally strikes around middle age, when one discovers that life is either far too short or far too long." (105) my favorite phrases are bolded - seriously, awkward groping? awesome.
"Tammy raised her hands over her head and giggled the malign giggle of a schoolgirl consorting with the legions of darkness and having a hell of a time doing it." (109)
fix er up: not a thing. i loved the story, characters, and the ending. solid read! show less
Fast, fun read. Solid four stars for cleverness and silliness--the book blurb was right, this was silly in the style of Hitchhiker's Guide, and that's a high compliment indeed.
It starts off like a buddy movie of the anti-hero variety, with Earl the vampire and Duke the werewolf driving around drinking beer in a beat-up pickup whose cab holds exactly 76 empties. They stop at an all-night diner run by Loretta, but little does anyone know, the diner is under assault by the most fearsome of opponents--Tammy, a teenage girl who prefers to be called "Mistress Lilith" by her sole acolyte. Earl and Duke stick around to help rid Loretta of some pesky zombies, and soon find themselves drawn deeper into defending the diner (and our dimension). show more
There were some definite laugh-out-loud bits, particularly a section involving zombie cows--really, even the phrase "zombie cows" starts me giggling. There's a sweet section that deals with Cathy the graveyard ghost and Earl. Napoleon the ghostly terrier adds a fun kick. The evil is both scary and hilarious: "The corpses shuffled (or hopped) to collect their weapons of knives, salad forks and camping stakes." Of course, the evil of Mistress Lilith is highlighted by her diabolical use of pig Latin and a Magic 8 ball--what more can you say about evil?
Glad it's in my library, because I'm sure to re-read it when in the mood for some fun and fluff.
Cross posted at my blog: http://clsiewert.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/gils-all-fright-diner-by-a-lee-martine...
Re-read September 17 bc I needed something silly and brainless between my other reads. show less
It starts off like a buddy movie of the anti-hero variety, with Earl the vampire and Duke the werewolf driving around drinking beer in a beat-up pickup whose cab holds exactly 76 empties. They stop at an all-night diner run by Loretta, but little does anyone know, the diner is under assault by the most fearsome of opponents--Tammy, a teenage girl who prefers to be called "Mistress Lilith" by her sole acolyte. Earl and Duke stick around to help rid Loretta of some pesky zombies, and soon find themselves drawn deeper into defending the diner (and our dimension). show more
There were some definite laugh-out-loud bits, particularly a section involving zombie cows--really, even the phrase "zombie cows" starts me giggling. There's a sweet section that deals with Cathy the graveyard ghost and Earl. Napoleon the ghostly terrier adds a fun kick. The evil is both scary and hilarious: "The corpses shuffled (or hopped) to collect their weapons of knives, salad forks and camping stakes." Of course, the evil of Mistress Lilith is highlighted by her diabolical use of pig Latin and a Magic 8 ball--what more can you say about evil?
Glad it's in my library, because I'm sure to re-read it when in the mood for some fun and fluff.
Cross posted at my blog: http://clsiewert.wordpress.com/2013/05/04/gils-all-fright-diner-by-a-lee-martine...
Re-read September 17 bc I needed something silly and brainless between my other reads. show less
Duke and Earl are speeding through the deep Texas night when Duke decides he’s hungry and stops at Gil’s All Night Diner. While he’s eating, zombies come lurching into the restaurant, intent on their own late-night snack. Lorraine, the owner, is prepared for this regular occurrence and hauls out her shotgun but then realizes she’s out of ammo. Earl tries to step in but he’s quickly overwhelmed. Duke finishes up his chili, transforms into a werewolf, and quickly puts an end to that night’s invasion. Earl, a vampire, climbs out from under the no-longer-walking dead and Lorraine offers them a place to stay if they’ll help her get to the bottom of the unholy happenings that are centered on the diner.
This book cracked me up! My show more best description is that it’s a version of Tucker and Dale vs Evil if Tucker was a werewolf and Dale was a vampire. I can’t watch many horror movies but that one made me laugh, just like this book did.
Earl and Duke aren’t quite as hapless as Tucker and Dale since they’re very aware of their own powers and limitations and know a lot about other paranormal beings. When they meet anything they can’t handle, they just call their buddy Hector, a warlock up in El Paso, and he sets them straight.
I think Martinez throws every horror trope known to man into this book, to an over-the-top, hilarious effect! Zombie cows; a nubile jailbait dark priestess; a horny teenage henchman; old, tentacled gods; and bloodstains that can’t be washed away all make an appearance.
Fred Berman’s narration is just as over-the-top as the book so he was a perfect fit. He reminded me a bit at times of Michael Rooker’s character in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies.
If you’re looking for a horror read that deliberately makes you laugh, this is the novel for you. I especially recommend the audiobook. show less
This book cracked me up! My show more best description is that it’s a version of Tucker and Dale vs Evil if Tucker was a werewolf and Dale was a vampire. I can’t watch many horror movies but that one made me laugh, just like this book did.
Earl and Duke aren’t quite as hapless as Tucker and Dale since they’re very aware of their own powers and limitations and know a lot about other paranormal beings. When they meet anything they can’t handle, they just call their buddy Hector, a warlock up in El Paso, and he sets them straight.
I think Martinez throws every horror trope known to man into this book, to an over-the-top, hilarious effect! Zombie cows; a nubile jailbait dark priestess; a horny teenage henchman; old, tentacled gods; and bloodstains that can’t be washed away all make an appearance.
Fred Berman’s narration is just as over-the-top as the book so he was a perfect fit. He reminded me a bit at times of Michael Rooker’s character in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies.
If you’re looking for a horror read that deliberately makes you laugh, this is the novel for you. I especially recommend the audiobook. show less
Gil's All Fright Diner - the title makes you think WTF is this? - and that cover! I admit that is why I bought it. Come on just look at that baby - There is a huge one eyed monster coming out of that Diner! I love monsters. As soon as I saw it I was like "Oh jeezuz I have to read this!" Maybe thats just me but I'm a total cover whore and I never can tell what I'm going to be attracted to. One thing for sure this had just the right amount of playful and monster for me, and not your atypical traits that you would normally associate with the paranormal creatures that are so popular right now.
I considered this a paranormal comedy (maybe its a spoof or parody I don't know) but whatever it is - it was exactly my cup of tea. Our two heroes, show more Duke and Earl - a werewolf and Vampire, heck if you could even call them heroes haha - are the saddest examples of the famed werewolf and vampire species I have ever read and yet they were PERFECT! Imagine a redneck and you have Duke (werewolf),then picture a greasy dirty looking guy no one wants to date because he just looks that sketchy and that's Earl (vampire). Toss some zombies in the mix and how could I not love that? Yes I know zombies are a bit overdone these days but this isn't about zombies they are just the bonus cream on top of this pie in your face full of laughs. Plus I have a thing for zombies, I can't seem to get enough.
What works is the crazy teenage girl with visions of grandeur and taking over the world trying to call some pretty nasty funk into our reality. She has a her horny lapdog of a boyfriend who will do anything for her...most likely just for a bit of a hump. But the world could come to an end and our unlikely pair has what it takes.
There is even a tad bit of romance in here for you folks who like a little bit of star crossed love. That's right I'm talking ghosts and flesh - how the hell is that going to work out? It just does.
This one will give you some damn good laughs and some 'ah shucks that sweet Wilbur' type moments. Alls well that ends well I say and I walked away wanting more. I will be looking into more of this A.Lee Martinez! show less
I considered this a paranormal comedy (maybe its a spoof or parody I don't know) but whatever it is - it was exactly my cup of tea. Our two heroes, show more Duke and Earl - a werewolf and Vampire, heck if you could even call them heroes haha - are the saddest examples of the famed werewolf and vampire species I have ever read and yet they were PERFECT! Imagine a redneck and you have Duke (werewolf),then picture a greasy dirty looking guy no one wants to date because he just looks that sketchy and that's Earl (vampire). Toss some zombies in the mix and how could I not love that? Yes I know zombies are a bit overdone these days but this isn't about zombies they are just the bonus cream on top of this pie in your face full of laughs. Plus I have a thing for zombies, I can't seem to get enough.
What works is the crazy teenage girl with visions of grandeur and taking over the world trying to call some pretty nasty funk into our reality. She has a her horny lapdog of a boyfriend who will do anything for her...most likely just for a bit of a hump. But the world could come to an end and our unlikely pair has what it takes.
There is even a tad bit of romance in here for you folks who like a little bit of star crossed love. That's right I'm talking ghosts and flesh - how the hell is that going to work out? It just does.
This one will give you some damn good laughs and some 'ah shucks that sweet Wilbur' type moments. Alls well that ends well I say and I walked away wanting more. I will be looking into more of this A.Lee Martinez! show less
Gil’s All Fright Diner is A. Lee Martinez’s debut novel and what an enjoyable entry into the field it is, too. If the title doesn’t give it away the book sits comfortably in the subgenre termed Urban Fantasy.
Duke and Earl are two good ol’ boys with a difference. Duke is a werewolf and Earl is a vampire. They spend their largely immortal lives (Duke is virtually unkillable and Earl is effectively undead) cruising around North America in Duke’s battered old pickup truck. One night they drop into Gil’s; a seedy looking roadside diner on the outskirts of the one horse town of Rockwood, (it’s never actually stated where Rockwood is, the middle of nowhere is a pretty good guess) for a bite to eat. Before they can finish their show more meal the diner is attacked by a pack of zombies from the small graveyard situated across the road. Having taken a liking to Gil’s owner; a plucky, plus size woman named Loretta, Duke and Earl decide to stick around to help her out. They find true love (in Earl’s case at least), face death many times and help avert the end of the world in the course of their adventure.
Gil’s All Fright Diner is best described as huge fun. The most succinct and accurate description I can come up with is: think of the first Tremors movie, make Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward (coincidentally Fred Ward’s character in that film is named Earl) into a vampire and a werewolf, and change the ‘graboids’ into zombies. There’s a lot more to it than that, but this is a good start. The continual good-natured bickering between Duke and Earl and the situation they found themselves in (which seemed pretty normal to them) reminded me a lot of the genetically-blessed Winchester brothers from the TV show Supernatural, and most of what happened in the book would not have been out of place in an episode of that particular show. There were pop culture references scattered liberally throughout the narrative, and the dialogue was also reminiscent of another supernatural TV cult favourite: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Aside from Duke, Earl and Loretta, readers are also introduced to Rockwood’s laconic law enforcer; Marshall Kopp, who takes putting down zombie cows and capturing animated scarecrows as all part of a day’s work, he also barely blinks when finding out that the two drifters who just rolled into his town are living embodiments of beings best known from old horror films. Tammy or Mistress Lilith, as she prefers to be known; a nubile high school nymphet who is using an old copy of the Necronomicon and pig latin incantations to bring about the end of the world as we know it (check page 134 for an explanation of how some dreadful actors land syndicated TV shows and multi-picture deals. I knew there had to be something evil at work behind that). Tammy’s moronic follower and boyfriend Chad. The cute guardian of the local graveyard; Cathy and her spectral best friend, the feisty terrier Napoleon.
In a field that is littered with pistol packing slayers (inevitably female and ‘hot’) and lustful vampires, Gil’s All Fright Diner is a welcome change of pace, it picks up a lot of the current concepts in Urban Fantasy, throws them to the ground and then gives them a severe kicking. Just like the evil-chasing brothers they reminded me of, Duke and Earl put everything to rights in Rockwood and then roll off into the sunset; given Earl’s natural aversion to sunlight, they actually roll off into the starlit night, but it just doesn’t sound as good. There was plenty of scope left for further adventures, but as yet the author has preferred to devote himself to writing standalones. Gil’s has encouraged me to seek out the further unrelated works of Mr Martinez, but I live in hope that we will see the further adventures of Duke and Earl sometime in the future. show less
Duke and Earl are two good ol’ boys with a difference. Duke is a werewolf and Earl is a vampire. They spend their largely immortal lives (Duke is virtually unkillable and Earl is effectively undead) cruising around North America in Duke’s battered old pickup truck. One night they drop into Gil’s; a seedy looking roadside diner on the outskirts of the one horse town of Rockwood, (it’s never actually stated where Rockwood is, the middle of nowhere is a pretty good guess) for a bite to eat. Before they can finish their show more meal the diner is attacked by a pack of zombies from the small graveyard situated across the road. Having taken a liking to Gil’s owner; a plucky, plus size woman named Loretta, Duke and Earl decide to stick around to help her out. They find true love (in Earl’s case at least), face death many times and help avert the end of the world in the course of their adventure.
Gil’s All Fright Diner is best described as huge fun. The most succinct and accurate description I can come up with is: think of the first Tremors movie, make Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward (coincidentally Fred Ward’s character in that film is named Earl) into a vampire and a werewolf, and change the ‘graboids’ into zombies. There’s a lot more to it than that, but this is a good start. The continual good-natured bickering between Duke and Earl and the situation they found themselves in (which seemed pretty normal to them) reminded me a lot of the genetically-blessed Winchester brothers from the TV show Supernatural, and most of what happened in the book would not have been out of place in an episode of that particular show. There were pop culture references scattered liberally throughout the narrative, and the dialogue was also reminiscent of another supernatural TV cult favourite: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Aside from Duke, Earl and Loretta, readers are also introduced to Rockwood’s laconic law enforcer; Marshall Kopp, who takes putting down zombie cows and capturing animated scarecrows as all part of a day’s work, he also barely blinks when finding out that the two drifters who just rolled into his town are living embodiments of beings best known from old horror films. Tammy or Mistress Lilith, as she prefers to be known; a nubile high school nymphet who is using an old copy of the Necronomicon and pig latin incantations to bring about the end of the world as we know it (check page 134 for an explanation of how some dreadful actors land syndicated TV shows and multi-picture deals. I knew there had to be something evil at work behind that). Tammy’s moronic follower and boyfriend Chad. The cute guardian of the local graveyard; Cathy and her spectral best friend, the feisty terrier Napoleon.
In a field that is littered with pistol packing slayers (inevitably female and ‘hot’) and lustful vampires, Gil’s All Fright Diner is a welcome change of pace, it picks up a lot of the current concepts in Urban Fantasy, throws them to the ground and then gives them a severe kicking. Just like the evil-chasing brothers they reminded me of, Duke and Earl put everything to rights in Rockwood and then roll off into the sunset; given Earl’s natural aversion to sunlight, they actually roll off into the starlit night, but it just doesn’t sound as good. There was plenty of scope left for further adventures, but as yet the author has preferred to devote himself to writing standalones. Gil’s has encouraged me to seek out the further unrelated works of Mr Martinez, but I live in hope that we will see the further adventures of Duke and Earl sometime in the future. show less
I read his 6th book, "Monster" and decided to try another. I loved this one too!! Its labeled YA but this OA doesn't think it fair to limit it. Also in my sensitive OA mind, some of the sexual situations seemed a bit mature for YA. It has an atypical vampire, overweight werewolf, zombies, ghouls, all sorts of interesting small town characters, a fight to save the world and a romance between a vampire and a ghost. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but in my mind the vampire and werewolf's names seemed opposite and I had to remind myself who was who (a minor detail). This scenario, delivered in comical, flowing style, made it makes it impossible to do anything but devour the book. Fortunately, the author has at least five more meals for show more me to savor. show less
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- Canonical title
- Gil's All Fright Diner
- Original title
- Gil's All Fright Diner
- Original publication date
- 2006-06-27
- People/Characters
- Earl (vampire); Duke (werewolf); Tammy (Mistress Lilith); Cathy (ghost); Loretta; Mistress Lilith (Tammy) (show all 10); Chad; Marshall Kopp; Gil; Napoleon (dog)
- Important places
- Rockwood, Texas, USA
- Dedication
- This book is dedicated to the following people in the order of importance: To Me, because I wrote it. To Mom, without whom I probably wouldn't have. To the men and women of the DFW Writer's Workshop. Their wise advice made th... (show all)is book better, although I'll later deny I ever said anything of the sort and claim this part of the dedication is a typo. And to Don "The Dragon" Wilson.
- First words
- In the middle of nowhere, along a quiet stretch of road, the diner dreamt of the hungry dead. And of two men. Well, not men exactly.
- Last words
- (Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)But, for now, there was just Earl, his best friend, his girlfriend, one spectral dog, and a long dirt road heading into a distant horizon and a nice, quiet, normal night.
- Blurbers
- Lubar, David; Harris, Charlaine; Lansdale, Joe R.; Robinson, Spider
- Original language
- English
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