Meredith Duran

Reread 10/28/18: I have no more words nor desire to try to sum this up. I’ll keep my 50 quotes to myself for now.

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There are a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head. First, I caught this book as a BR - I was having trouble bringing myself to read it otherwise for some reason so it was just the push I needed.

I'll probably recycle some thoughts from that forum as well as borrow upon others as a result. Also, spoilering for sake of that...


So, when I went to bed show more after reading this late into the night last night, shadows and depth were two things that stuck with me from this book. Obviously that one is right there in the title, but as motifs, I thought they were masterful. Both characters are dealing with these 'shadows' and being so different and set apart. And both characters have unseen depths by others-and likely each other...and really the two go together so brilliantly and heartbreakingly in this book. Because this book did break my heart.

Julian noticed Emma in a garden and she looks bored, unwell, and miserable. Neither of the characters seems to fit in their relative place, and Duran shows how the lack of fit when all appearances indicate you should fit can be a bit awkwardly painful and make one feel more alone. Julian is between world in a heartbreaking situation. And in each other, they find a match. Emma is, by her own declaration, fierce. Julian is sensitive and empathetic and sweet. The book is filled with lovely dialogue that would feel out of place in other books, but fits so well here. Duran delicately demonstrates the heartbreak each character has had to endure that led them to this place, to their vulnerabilities and ultimately connection with one another.

I'm at risk of rambling on, and I just might eventually. I still have a lot of processing to do. Because if the first half of the book was in tone delicate and brutal, yet hopeful somehow, the second half was gut-wrenching.

Normally if a character felt or did what Emma did in the second half of this book, I'd be so annoyed. In this case, you understand. You understand her brutal loneliness, her heartbreak, and the ultimate conclusion that she'll never be over it. Meanwhile, Julian thinks her dead with good reason and I really was cringing before their first reunion. As I was reading it, I was thinking "there are so many ways this could go that I won't like. I will be angry at one or the other of them" and guess what? I wasn't. His approach to her was flawless. His utter disregard for others; her reaction was equally realistic. After all, by their own admission, (don't get me started on the globe: ("You want my whole itinerary? I won't give it! I have given you enough!") he looked for her everywhere but in London. And that doesn't make things easier. At this point, of course Julian is completely devoted even if 'she won't have him.' He tries different tactics, confuses her, we get some great insight into Lockwood. In the process, we can feel his pain too. She seems cold, resigned to her loneliness.

Emma struggles to both deny and accept him. She's still so heartbroken and afraid since she's faced so many terrors, and was so incredibly let down by him. And her fear is completely understandable. So here, instead of veering into "God, get over it already" it stayed very much in the "Yep, I get it" territory.

Anyway, as I still process, I feel I'm only doing a plot recap & reaction of what I felt was an incredibly effective, heartbreaking, beautiful romance. It felt so very unlikely yet so very real. I haven't mentioned how masterfully Meredith Duran says things like
"I am not blind. Words are not the only way we communicate. They never were."
And things like "You are not the only one who took that journey."

Or "Water under the bridge" "Then a very stagnant river"

I am just so impressed at how I could feel their heartbreak and their tenderness. Simply beautiful, elegant, and brutal. show less

It's either a brave or a foolhardy author who chooses to set a romance in British India, and almost suicidal to focus on something as meticulously documented as the the uprising of 1857. Also, no matter how exhaustive the historical research, any new book will inevitably be compared with the masterpieces in this genre, some of them written by authors who were born and raised in India, and whose ancestors had first-hand experience of the uprising.

I have nothing but admiration for Ms Duran's show more confident and sure-footed negotiation of this literary minefield.

The story begins with English heiress Emma's arrival in Delhi to meet the ambitious military officer to whom she is betrothed. At a boring reception she crosses paths with Julian, heir to a dukedom but tainted by his biological, cultural and psychological connections with India.

Ms Duran skips the oft-recorded build-up to the uprising and, within a few pages of the opening, Emma and Julian are fleeing for their lives across the Indian countryside. Separated by necessity, Julian returns to Delhi while Emma takes refuge in the fortified home of a friendly Indian ruler. Her safety is short-lived and once again she has to go on the run, witnessing some of the horrific butchery inflicted by both sides.

She returns to England, utterly traumatized, and attempts to exorcise her inner demons by taking up residence in her country home and externalising the horrors in a series of dramatic paintings. At the first public showing of her paintings, she runs into Julian, who has been led to believe that she perished in the uprising. The romantic connection forged during their race across India is soured by Emma's anger at what she considers Julian's abandonment.

Subsequent development of this star-crossed romance is complicated by Emma's unwitting entanglement in a side-plot concerning treason during the uprising. If I have any criticism of this outstanding historical romance, it is the weight placed on this side-plot. More than enough tension is generated by the psychological conflict between Emma and Julian without bringing in a stereotyped suspense-story villain who threatens the life of the heroine, necessitating a last-minute rescue by the hero.

This is a very minor quibble, one reflecting my own preferences rather than an objective evaluation.

And talking of personal reactions, I wonder why Ms Duran chose to weave the events at Cawnpore into her story without going into details. It must have required immense self-control, or the heavy hand of a page-counting editor, to resist describing one of the most crucial and dramatic incidents in the uprising.

A complex and beautifully written novel that demands a second or third reading. show less

in-the-middle-of-the-book-review:
You know how you'll be reading something and someone comes and you have to sort of ... hide the cover? or immediately issue a disclaimer: It's not like THAT! Happens to me with romances and the Bible, mostly. (Although I have since sold my copy of the Bible.)
Yeah, that.
This book shouldn't be a romance. Or maybe it should: the story of its world -- our world -- is sorrowful and dark and agonizingly recognizable. Maybe it needs the junk-licking and fast show more heartbeats to keep a reader from the bottle. It's horrible tormenting vibrant fast-paced misery. I love it. It made me cry.
DON'T YOU JUDGE ME.

finished-the-book-review:

It's a dark and stormy night, tonight, which is appropriate for this season and this longitude and this hour of the day; I have finished this book twice (the second time I cried a lot more) and have begun it again. I don't want to talk about why I cried or why I enjoy it -- that's none of your goddamn business, and no-it-is-not-about-sex -- so let's go straight on to the plot/writing/characterization.
The characters were admirably drawn - I liked Emma and Julian (but bleh: the names bugged me). I liked her not-flowers-and-teacups art. I liked her holding-on-to-the-boat determination, and her PTSD, and her complaints about wine. I liked Julian, too, for not being a jerkass rogue tempered by her beauty and lack of crinolines. I liked his polite shall-we-proceed-upon-your-say-my-lady way of dealing with sex.

I liked (for that reason I will not explicate) their relationship. Especially after the (OMG SPOILER) separation. When you think someone is dead, when you think you've been abandoned, you get REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF if they come back. You're not happy to see them. You don't go canoodling in corners. You pick fights and throw things and get furious all over again that they can still tear your heart in two. You've been perfectly happy with your sickness and your loss, and now they're come back to prove all your pain was useless and false? FUCK THAT.
You're going to go into the garden and drink now, and if they come to ask for conversation you are going to throw this champagne bottle at their head.

Four stars for a romance novel. Not, you know, as compared to Lolita or whatever.

(update: oh, fuck. it's a five-star book. I GIVE IN TO THE TRUTH.) show less

Wicked Becomes You RATING: 4 stars.
 
Historical romances are usually light, fluffy reads. That's why I read them, at least. They are fun, the heroes are tortured but somewhat progressive (so they are able to take the sass of our female protagonists) and the heroines are cute, innocent but also very sure of themselves. Most of all, there's a "happy ever after". It's like a fairy tail for adults.
 
That said, most historical romances while mostly focused on the romance also show us a glimpse show more of life in other times. Sure, it's not very historically accurate and the society, politics and economics of the period are not the focus, but there's always something to learn.
 
And then there are historical romances like Wicked Becomes You. Who give you romance, some historical background (it seemed quite well researched, actually, but then I'm not an expert) and great (and I mean great, great) characters.
 
Gwen is a very rich heiress but her parents were of common origins. Her origins are still important at the end of the 19th century (1890, when this book takes place) even though land and agriculture aren't viable money making sources anymore. Gentry and nobility alike are up to their necks in debt and business men are on the rise. Still, members ofhigh society still look at "self-made men" as only a necessary evil. At the same time, these business men want to achieve social status so they try to marry into the nobility.
 
This is the foundation of this book. In this confusing time of Victorian strictness but also of suffragettes, our heroine was trained to be the perfect model of the Victorian female: demure, decorative, always smiling at everyone...
 
But after she is jilted twice, she decides that enough is enough. She will be wild. She will be free. And the entire journey of self-discovery Gwen goes through is fascinating. Bred to be proper, always, it's difficult for her to overcome her education. To admit her desires. To gain self-confidence.
 
Duran paints a vivid portrait of the period through description and the struggles of both her hero and her heroine.
 
I loved the whole book. It would have been a 5 star book except it took a while to "kick off" and those first pages were a bit boring. And the resolution felt rushed and confusing.
 
Overall an engaging and interesting read. Wicked Becomes You has a lot of plot lines but they blended seamlessly and I liked it. The characters had chemistry and were properly developed. The romance was layered and realistically gradual. Recommended.
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