Alan Cumming

This was a wonderful memoir, framed around the time Cumming was filming the UK version of 'Who Do You Think You Are?' He goes back and forth in time, recounting the abuse - both mental and physical - he suffered at the hands of his father, and the contemporary story of trying to discover the truth about his maternal grandfather and other family secrets. Cummings' intelligence and wit comes through clearly, as does the pain and alienation brought on by the abuse. It's a very well-done mix of show more "then" and "now," but anyone looking for a juicy celebrity memoir will be disappointed. He only mentions some details of his career in passing. The focus here is on the damage that people can suffer, often in silence, and the redemption to be found in speaking up and speaking out. show less

Chances are, you'll recognize actor Alan Cumming from the picture on the cover of the book, even if you don't recognize his name. He's appeared in many movies (X2, Goldeneye, Emma), and has received wide recognition for his role as the Master of Ceremonies in the long-running Broadway production of Cabaret. As we come to learn, his boyish good looks, natural talent, and evident personal charm have culminated in a bustling career and an extremely lively social life, full of parties and an show more imposing number of sexual encounters.

This is billed as "an intimate look at the making of a man, an actor, an advocate, and a happy human being" - but feel like that's an oversell. The "making of a man" stuff mostly happens in his first memoir (Not My Father's Son), his career as an actor - as set forth here - is eventful but not particularly illuminating, and he barely mentions his advocacy work for LGBTQ+. Mostly this is a sequence of episodes depicting his experiences on various stages/movie sets and his encounters with famous people, with a bit of shallow-ish reflection thrown in.

Cumming's main purpose seems to be to convince readers that he is funny, honest, fearless, and vulnerable. And on the surface, the argument could be made that he succeeds. But critical readers may be bothered by what's not here: there's almost no discussion of how his life has been impacted by his sexuality, little detail about his life beyond sets and stages, and no meaningful consideration of implications of his hedonism or promiscuity. Not to suggest that hedonism and promiscuity are somehow inherently wicked, but the flipside or prioritizing ones own needs is a tendency to de-prioritize the needs of others, with subsequent consequences. Yet, to hear Cumming tell it, any short-term kerfuffles inevitably resolve themselves into long-term friendships. What's here may be honest, but it doesn't feel complete.

Indeed, my main takeaway from the memoir is that Cumming is a living embodiment of what one might call the "Cabaret ethos": "life is short, so get busy being happy" and "anything that makes you happy can't be bad." One wonders if this principle is why he was so convincing as the MC in Cabaret ... or if spending so many nights embodying this role ended up shaping the man that he has become? Perhaps this is the sort of deeper reflection I was hoping for here, instead of this entertaining but rather shallow serving of celebrity fluff. show less

Not My Father's Son isn't a typical celebrity tell-all. Instead, Alan Cumming uses his appearance on the genealogical reality show Who Do You Think You Are? as a hook around which to explore his family history: both the mysterious death of his maternal grandfather in 1950s Malaysia, which the show investigated, and his off-camera grapplings with the fall-out of a childhood spent in fear of an abusive and rage-filled father. Cumming is admirably clear-eyed, honest without being self-pitying show more or maudlin, and shows a remarkable ability to turn lemons into lemonade. show less

Alan Cumming wrote this memoir from an apparent place of utter vulnerability and honesty and compassion. I was surprised and moved by the empathy Cumming expresses, not just for his beloved mother and older brother, but also for a grandfather he never knew, and, most astonishingly, for a father who did nothing but wreak psychological and physical torment on him as a child. The adjectives "honest" and "brave" come to mind for me, which are both words that I would not usually associate with show more celebrity autobiography as a genre, but they are apt for this one. I trusted the person Cumming wrote himself to be. I felt honored that he shared his story so honestly. I'm glad to have read this book, and I'm glad he wrote it. show less