Jonathan Renshaw

The premise is quite traditional for epic fantasy: a coming of age story about a young boy growing up in a farm who is destined to go places, although in this case he is not the chosen one for anything and there's no prophecy foretelling glorious deeds. Although traditional, it is written with modern sensitivities. For example, even though the main character is male, females can be every bit as strong and accomplished.

I rather liked the characters. Books of this kind often have main show more characters with many virtues and few flaws. In this case, Aedan has compelling virtues, like his curiosity and resourcefulness, his good tactical sense, his generosity and his bravery in certain situations, but those are balanced by strong flaws, like the trauma-induced cowardice that paralyzes him and makes him unreliable in some of the most high-stakes situations, his resentful prejudices and his occasional bully-like reactions. Besides, all of those traits are coherent and form a personality that makes sense, knowing as we do the events that have shaped him. Coming to terms with those flaws and overcoming or at least managing them is one of the themes of this first book.

This is a book that takes its time. If the characters travel, it is not dealt with quickly. Things happen on the way, and they are told in a non-perfunctory manner. If the characters are training, we also spend time with them, seeing how it is and what adventures occur to them. This makes for a 700 book. Often these fat epic fantasies seem padded to me, and I end up wishing that the author would just get on with the story, but in this case it worked perfectly for me. I cared about the characters and the story and I wanted to be there with them, experiencing all their adventures, even the more modest ones.

Things I did not like? Well, there were a couple of things that mildly annoyed me, although they did not really diminish my enjoyment of the book. One is anecdotal: a couple of times the author has characters who "kneel down" to talk to the main characters. One may kneel down to talk to toddlers, but not to thirteen year old children. Another thing is that a few times I felt the author was not dealing with some things that should be important for the situation at hand. For example,
Where were Aedan's parents at the beginning of the story? They suddenly appear after his injury, but before that important things happened to him and they were nowhere to be seen. I almost thought he was an orphan or something. Also, at some point he gets a deforming injury, and that has an influence on how people react to him. However, for a long while it is not referenced, and I almost wondered whether the author had forgotten (he had not, and it's normal that as people get to know him they care less about that, but I felt there should be more emphasis on how it affected people who knew him less).

The book is the first one in a series. It is a satisfying story on its own. A lot of things happen and the characters come a long way, but in the end they are getting ready for their biggest adventure yet. Obviously I want to read more, but I'll have to wait until the next book is published. In the meantime, I highly recommend this book. There are some very pleasant surprises among the independently-published books, and this is one of them . It deserves more attention. show less

(posted first as an Amazon.com review)

Did the readers leaving breathless 5-star reviews have access to a different (and much better) version of this book? How is it possible that there are (currently) 2800 customer reviews with a 4.6 star average? Did the reviewers not notice the terrible plot devices, pacing, and telling-not-showing that drowned out the potential of the world and storylines? All these questions and more demanded that I leave my honest review about this over-hyped and show more underwhelming book.

Spoilers below.

I really wanted to like this novel. It was very highly rated on Amazon as a great debut and fantasy as it should be. It won awards. Reviewers couldn't wait for Book Two. I bought it above the price I'd usually pay after so many reviewers let me know how this author was the second coming of Jordan, Gemmell, Rowling, or Sanderson.

I personally read a ton of fantasy stories from a broad range of styles and settings, but I especially enjoy coming-of-age setups like this one. I was interested in seeing how Aiden's story would play out, how the early antagonists might return later in the plot of this first book of a multi-book series to provide a climactic scene as a set up to some greater evil lurking just beyond in the following works in the series (a typical but enjoyable fantasy trope.)

Instead, the antagonists disappear entirely, to later be replaced by mindless "bad guys" and "evil critters" whose motivations are never considered or investigated (beyond a subset of foreigners "following orders" whose political agenda we never get a chance to explore or understand.)

This was bad enough, but certainly wouldn't lead to a one-star review here. There were serious issues of pacing, flat and boring primary and secondary characters, pivots in the plot which made no sense, and actions taken by characters which were baffling and not helpful to the story. Loads of tell-not-show took place, as well. But this all would fail to merit a one-star review (something I rarely, if ever, have done for a fantasy novel.)

Let me pick the most disappointing and head-shaking aspect of the book and hammer on that to explain my rating.

Spoilers:

The plot line for Aiden is centered on the way he reacts whenever a threatening situation takes place. Well... some threatening situations... Like... situations where Aiden can't help from urinating and curling up in a ball. Only those situations. Other times, he's simply amazing, the hero, unassailably brave, an Errol Flynn swinging in to defeat the baddies and save the girl. And we're shown this over and over. Either he curls up in a ball, or he can't be stopped. I appreciate the author's attempt to introduce trauma as part of the character's development as an obstacle to overcome and a way to challenge the protagonist's (almost certain) rise to superhero powers to come.

But the execution is shoddy at best, and all because the author (apparently) had a come-to-Jesus moment planned that needed some setup to... well... actually bring Aiden to Jesus (more on that in a moment.)

The first time Aiden collapses in terror, the reader is left scratching her head wondering what is going on. I've seen what happens to children Aiden's age when they are beaten, when they live a life fearing and dreading the next outburst from an abusive relative. Dropping to the ground and urinating is used as a placeholder for the author's inability to actually explore the complex and difficult aspects of this experience. Instead of exploring, in depth, Aiden's thoughts and the long-tail of things affected by the abuse, we're simply give a fetal-position-urination scene as a shortcut to actually diving into detail about his situation. It is very frustrating and the shallowness of this device cannot be overstated.

And it gets so much worse. During a crucial scene in what serves as the climactic scenes (which, I'll say only briefly, leave a lot to be desired for climactic scenes,) Aiden does his usual and succumbs to his terror. And then... Dun-dun-duuuuun... DEUS EX MACHINA.

Literally. I know people too-frequently use 'literally' when they mean 'figuratively,' but here, the author literally introduces God to solve Aiden's problem without any effort from Aiden.

Aiden is captured in a beam of light... or is thrust up to Heaven... or dreams about the man in the sky... Whatever this scene was, the Christian God is there to tell Aiden he's got his back, after commanding Aiden to bow before him, and then, after an by-golly revelatory experience that changes Aiden's entire life in the span of a few seconds, he is returned to the world, no longer broken from the abuse of his father. No years-long struggle to overcome this serious and significant trauma. No two-steps forward, three-steps back, four-steps forward drunkard's walk to bring himself out from the darkness.

Nope. God said he's got Aiden's back, therefore, Aiden is cured.

"Gee, golly," says the author, "ain't God amazing?"

Renshaw didn't write that, of course, but that's exactly what he's telling the reader here. Horrible scene. One of the absolute worst I've ever read. The plot line's central obstacle to the protagonist being a hero... solved in seconds... and with no effort from Aiden other than to prostrate himself before the very obvious Christian God who demands fealty.

I could go on and on about the flaws of the book, but I'll leave off going into detail since other 1-star and 2-star reviewers have already spelled out for potential buyers these issues.

There is some very minor value here, if only because the world itself is interesting, but that's about all there is. Beyond the Deus ex Machina and its related plot line, there are many other flaws: pacing, characters who are flat and not well developed, plot which meanders rather than drives forward, unbelievable actions by children, etc, etc. But the interesting Aiden-suffers-trauma-and-must-overcome-it-to-progress plot line is one of the worst executions I've experienced in any novel. Ever.

One-star. One plodding, deusy-machina stained star.

Oh... and, further spoilers, the book literally (that word again) ends with Aiden being able to fly... for no reason other than because he believed he could, apparently. Seriously. show less

There is no wonder, coherent narrative or plot in this thinly veiled Christian fiction story. If this was cut in half it would be a vast improvement but still a terrible read. The author had a million ideas and seemed to pivot the story as he went along to interject each one. The protagonist is a Marty Stu that can single Handley save the day but a few chapters later, suddenly out of thin air, has acquired PTSD and becomes incapable of doing basic things. The author also decides to switch up show more his father from how he was portrayed in the beginning and make him an abuser.

There is no magic here but was he has his literal come-to-Jesus-moment...yes, the author inserts the actual Christian faith directly into his fantasy book having his protagonist literally saved by God in an ex machina moment that defies belief. This is not a 4 stars book. Don't believe the reviews. show less

Usually, I subtract one star if a story isn't finished, and this absolutely needs a sequel, but it was such a great story that I deviate from my own rule.

It's a powerful story about all sorts of things, and although there is a war in the making, something else seems to be happening, too, as the title says.

We don't know what it is, but it could be something grand, not disastrous.
It's one of the rare fantasy novels where no magic is involved, and none is needed.
What is needed is training, show more perseverance, and skills.
I thoroughly enjoyed taking part in Aedan's education, his struggles, his weaknesses, and his strengths -- and at times I could have shaken him -- then again, his friends were there to help him do the right things.
Aedan is a strategic mastermind, but has to learn that theory and practice are very different.

I love the idea that the education doesn't just comprise weapon skills, but all other aspects, too, be they boring or not.
I like the idea of getting to know not only different languages, but cultures and traditions, too. This should be mandatory for every school, imo, maybe then there wouldn't be so much war and hatred in this world, most of which is based on ignorance.
Aedan has to overcome his hatred and prejudices in order to learn about his enemies, and I hope I won't have to wait for a whole year or longer to find out how he'll cope.

Tim Gerard Reynolds does another perfect job at narrating this story. When listening to him, I'm really deep into the story and out of this world.
He was the perfect choice for the book, and I hope he'll be commissioned to narrate any sequel. show less