Lisa Damour (1) (1970–)

I was feeling kinda meh about receiving this book, if I'm being honest. It isn't a "fun" topic. For me, reading this went from "oh well, this is fine" to "I am never letting go of this book" fairly quickly.

I want it known first of all that this is definitely not a book about anxiety disorders. I think the use of the word anxiety makes people think that this book will only be used to learn about abnormal and dysfunctional feelings. This book is about the normal stress and anxiety of being a show more girl. Honestly, 85% of the book would apply to any gender, so I would say you don't necessarily have to stick to reading this only if you have a cis gendered girl in your home.

I really enjoyed reading this, took copious notes in the margins and marked a lot of pages to return to, something I almost never do while reading, so that should tell you how useful this book really is. This book covers very useful and practical exercises to do (in many cases with sample scripts) to help your daughter process feelings, navigate complex social relationships and get the most out of her education and friendships. The author acknowledges that society puts a lot more pressure on girls to be socially savvy very early that it doesn't put on boys, and also that they must be attractive, even more qualified than a male counterpart and charming while doing it. The author does not dwell on this information, I wouldn't even say the book is really about the pressures put on girls, but it is a backdrop to the information provided, which is how to help yourself and your daughter navigate this landscape.

I highly HIGHLY recommend this book for anyone with a daughter, and still recommend it for anyone without. show less

Advocates giving our daughters permission to slack off, to be imperfect, to be not just beautiful in their own way but unbeautiful, even though it’s very hard for parents alone to be in control of those messages. I particularly noted the concept of “settling your glitter”—giving agitation time to calm down before reacting as a parent, and letting the girl do the same. And also the concept that we regularly expect boys to exert the minimum effort necessary to achieve an objective, show more like an A, but expect girls to go full throttle; girls can benefit a lot from figuring out when they can slack off—and from encouragement to do so. show less

An excellent book on how to deal with and teach teenagers how to be with their emotions in supportive ways. Not all emotions are feel good and comfortable. We as adults can also heal our missed emotional upbringing with the author's suggestions. I was reminded of my teenage years and my parents did not model very effective emotional modeling for me. I'm still learning how to do it now. This book was filled with very supportive and compassionate stories and results.

I received a copy of this book from Library Thing Early Reviewers and was eager to read it as soon as it arrived. I have a 17-year old daughter who has been in counseling for about two years for issues with anxiety. The author, Dr. Damour, has written a user-friendly and very informative guide for helping teenage girls manage stress and anxiety caused by a variety of factors. I particularly appreciated how she kept reiterating that a certain amount of stress and anxiety is normal and show more actually beneficial for teenage girls. As I was reading, I underlined passages and made many notations in the margins. This is a book you can return to over and over for practical advice. Dr. Damour does not just admire the problem; she gives parents specific and reasonable actions to help both the young girls and their parents. Some of the examples of the girls she has counseled were excessively long and detailed, which I did not enjoy. Overall, however, I was tremendously pleased with Dr. Damour's book. It is well referenced and has an ample section of suggested additional reading material for each chapter, with suggestions for both the teen and the parent. I have purchased two of the books recommended for teens, and my daughter and I are reading them together. I have shared ideas and excerpts from Under Pressure with my daughter, and she has really taken to the idea of square breathing. I give this book 4 stars and recommend it for parents of adolescent and teenage girls. Your daughter does not have to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder for this book to be beneficial. It provides information about managing stress and feelings of anxiety for all young girls, not just those who experience it to a severe degree. show less